NationStates Jolt Archive

And now, for a war between medium-sized countries in the region of Nova Oceania. We don't ask anyone else to post here. You could if you want to for whatever reason, but to an extent only... this is really a war between four nations whose leaders actually know each other, with very lax RP and seriousness rules, and we would not appreciate any multi-billion-person state coming in here, taking it all far too seriously, and crushing us all. Or crushing some of us. We're just playing a very slow, probably perpentual war, in which days may pass between consecutive posts.

Though on the other hand, some limited external intervention would be fun. Yes. Well, on to the war... or, what it is at this point, a build-up of tensions.

<Governor of your local Colony of the Planetian Empire appears on your television screen, along with his advisers, sitting behind his desk. And now they take out their canes, put on hats, and begin singing and dancing. Very poorly.>

In a region too small to be found on a map
Whose existance was never announced
Political tensions are ready to snap
And four enemy armies -- to pounce!

Nova Oceania's war,
Nova Oceania's war,
Between nations that you've never heard of before,
For all your news networks it's safe to ignore
This Nova Oceania's war!

<And now they stop singing, to your great relief.>

Greetings, people of NationStates. We represent the government of your local Colony of The Planetian Empire. For some time now, political tensions in our region have been building up, as the Grand Duchy of Murduk appears to be developing weapons of mass destruction, the Republic of Fontonia sees war as all but invevitable, and the Colony struggles to preserve peace and liberty. While Nova Hibernia praises its leader. Repeatedly.

Following is a summary of recent events <OOC: mostly as they appeared on the regional board (which is inconvenient for purposes of war because it deletes old messages).>

~~~~
It all started when the Grand Duchy of Murduk began developing weapons of mass destruction. See? We have evidence! <a picture of a factory veiwed from above appears.> That was taken by one of our rocketships, which we use as spy... we mean... *weather* sattelites, in geostationary orbit above each of our neighbors. Seeing this horrible threat to peace, we immediately requested that the Grand Duchy disarm and admit foreign weapons inspectors into their nation. The Grand Duchy responded by denying our allegations, pointing out that we have our own WMDs (but ours were never secret!), and then developing a new policy of missile testing, in which new Grand Duchy missiles are flown directly over our Colony before crashing into the sea. Then the Nova Hibernians praised their leader. We responded by... um... well, all we did, see, is send a fleet of a drednought, three warships, and five frigates to... examine fishing stocks near the Grand Duchy's waters. Perfectly peaceful, you see. And we also flooded the Grand Duchy's market with our cheap and efficient automobiles, which we are told caused some unemployment. But that's the free market for you. Then the Nova Hibernians saluted their leader. And then we asked the Grand Duchy to disarm again. And then here's what happened:

~~~~
1 day ago
The Grand Duchy of Murduk

<Grand Duke steps off helicopter after a few days vacation to a nicer undiclosed location>

Aide: Sire you better look at this. <hands note>

Grand Duke: My god they've caught on to our overfishing schemes! If that dreadnaught discovers our breaking of the International Seabed authority's regulations... we must find a way to throw off the spotlight!

<Grand Duke appears on television>
My fellow citizens. The fanatical terrorist regime in charge of the colony of the Planetian empire has continued to make threats against the free nation of the Grand Duchy. Have trust that your friend, the government, knows the situation and is doing it's best to find a diplomatic solution.

On a different note our law enforcement officials in the port city upon which the Planetian flotilla has illegally blockaded have reported that this flotilla has been accepting vicious criminals that have reached the flotilla in the harbour and granted them asylum! Those familiar with the Planetian empire's anarchist view on law enforcement, know that these criminals, normally being sent to at least a life-long prison sentence, will now be let go by a misguided view of "rehabilitation". We cannot allow this to continue, otherwise all of Murduk's criminals will think they can escape justice by fleeing to our neighbours.

As such we are giving the Planetian squadron 48 hours to leave Ira... I mean our port or we will be forced to take action.

~~~~
1 day ago
The Colony of The Planetian Empire

<Governor of the Planetian Colony sits at his desk, looking over various reports.>

Governor: Oh my Golly Good Gosh! They've caught on to our scheme to blockade their port and carry their criminals to freedom!

Adviser: But sire, we're not doing either of those things.

G: No? Oh, right. Good then. Yes. Well, what say our ships on patrol just outside of the Grand Duchy's territorial waters?

A: Our fleet reports nothing out of the ordinary, except an abnormally low number of fish. What do we do about the ultimatum to recall the fleet within 48 hours?

G: Nothing. The Grand Duchy is bluffing. We call their bluff, and they will soon agree to a compromise on WMDs. Advise our trading ships to leave Murduk's waters, just in case, and ensure that our ships and our submarine patrols in our own waters are fully deployed and on alert. Also advise the drednought fleet to be extra cautious, and watch for the first signs of attack. But beyond that, do nothing.

A: Very good, sire!

~~~~
1 day ago
The Colony of The Planetian Empire

<This is a Channel 84 special broadcast from New Place, the capital of your local Colony of the Planetian Empire. Stand by for a message from the local Planetian Governor.>

People of Nova Oceania! Many of you are by now aware of the Grand Duchy's claims regarding our fleets. Let me assure you that those claims do not reflect the reality of the situation accurately. The fleet we have dispatched to patrol waters near the Grand Duchy's territory is engaged in not illegal activity, and in no blockades. It has certainly recieved no criminals from the Grand Duchy's territory. It is engaged in an examination of the local fishing stock, has not entered any ports, and, we assure you, has not even entered the Grand Duchy's territory. Our merchant fleets, of course, do this regularly, but we assure you that they, too, have only the peaceful intent of trade, and have no connexions to criminal elements. Thus, we find the Grand Duchy's ultimatum to be invalid, as its conditions are not based on fact.

At the same time, we remind you, the people of Nova Oceania, of the secret WMD program being developed by Murduk. We urge you all to write and petition your local governments to exert pressure on the Grand Duke to allow international weapons inspectors into his realm. Say yes to peace and prosperity. Say no warmongering rhetoric and threats. The Planetian Empire will protect our liberty and our selves. Thank you, and Gosh Shave the King.

<end communication>

~~~~
17 minutes ago
The Democratic Republic of Fontonia

<High atop of the world, the FONT-1 array transmits all around the world>

Welcome to the Consumerist Productivity Song brought to you by the Government of Fontonia and this long list of sponcers: Egghead Industries, LUCASCORP, KNIGHT Industries, The people who make Pockey, Ducks for a Brighter Tomorrow, Pizza Express, Moonshine Inc., Little Olga Cupcakes, Hats-R-Us, WorldCorp...(10 minutes later)...and Headwax. All transmitted by the FONT-1 array, where we transmit anything on every frequency possible! Now for the song...

If you don't work your house and all your worldly possessions will be taken!

Now for these commercial messages...
(10 minuntes later)

And we conclude. With the lastest updates in the war occuring at faster intervals, citizens are asking What is Fontonia going to do? So far the State has been keeping it's ties of neutrality while The Planetian Empire and Murduk are in a sqabble over Weapons of Mass Destruction. The blockade set up by The Planetian Empire to scan incomming ships has so far shown no results.

Fontonia doesn't seem to be in direct danger, the national armed forces are ready to mobilze at a moments notice, nuclear weapons are standing by, and our spy satellites are monitoring for threats. This may be the calm before the storm, so keep listening for updates. Thank you, and keep spending.

<End Transmission>

Fontonia News Corporation
"For we are richer without Nova Hibernia"

~~~~
Who knows what will happen next???

News Headline

"Fontonia Reforms Immigration Law"

In effort to create a pro event with the upcomming war, Fontonia will open up borders to those wanting to get out of the nations of Murduk and The Planetian Colony. The official statement can be sumarized as those with skills to offer the nation or in direct danger will be admitted.

Channel 84 Reports:

Several prominent automotive companies from our Colony of the Planetian Empire, notably CMC, the Colonial Motor Company, have announced plans to open extensive corporate branches and numerous new factories in the Republic of Fontonia, hiring Fontonian labor to take advantage of the lower Fontonian wages, and also acquiring an ability to sell automobiles more directly to the Fontonian consumers, who constitute by far the largest automotive market in Nova Oceania.

Professor Bir, who heads the Economics department at the University of New Place, has noted that the decision will benefit the Colonial economy, compensating for a developing labor shortage. A small, but significant, percentage of our population is leaving Colonial territory and settling in the Republic of Fontonia, citing uncertainty over what may be a developing war as the prime reason for taking advantage of new, less stringent Fontonian refugee and immigration policies. This translates into some of our Colony's knowledge and labor assets flowing to Fontonia.

However, if Planetian factories are built in Fontonia, hiring Fontonian labor, then Fontonian workers would, in fact, begin contributing to our labor force, since the profits from the sale of the automobiles they will manufacture will flow into Planetian pockets. Thus, the minor labor shortage we currently experience will become far less significant.

<Grand Duke appears on Television in the Colony>

People of the Planetian empire, more than 48 hours ago our nation gave your government an ultimatum to withdraw their warships from our coasts as they were interfering in our nation's stability. Your government has refused to comply and as such action will now be needed. As I speak a number of missiles have been launched from our territory destined to hit the offices of your government and it's military installations. As goes with the generally recognized conventions I am giving you advanced warning of the impending strike. If you are anywhere near one of the above mentioned targets you are strongly advised to keep a distance.

<Grand Duke appears on Television in Grand Duchy>
Fellow Citizens. As a result of the threats and aggressive moves of the Planetians we have been forced to strike first in order to protect our nation. As counter-attack is expected against us, our government will be hiding at an undisclosed location, and we are also asking all reserve personnel (everyone) to report for active duty. As this is not a war for conquest, our forces have been given orders only to attack the Planetians when they come within firing distance of our shores. Thank you, and god bless.

<FONT-1 Array Televised New Channel>

FNC - "All the news home and abroad"

In the past 6 hours the Grand Duchy of Murduk has been sending cruise missiles to the Colony of the Planetian Empire. Their targets have so far been non-civilian buildings. Reports of key government offices, Ministry of Defence, Ministry of Finance, and Ministry of Health, have been hit. Our reporters in the Colony have been unable to get any responce from the government. It is assumed they will make a statement at a later time. The Government of Fontonia has not changed it's stance with the current events. Fontonian News Corporation will keep you updated as the story evolves.

And so, fifty-three missiles lifted from their launching pads in the Grand Duchy, and zoomed up into the clear spring sky. Soon, they were over the blue of the ocean, with the island of the Colony far ahead.

Meanwhile, in the Colonial Military Command, warning bells and chimes were going off. Television screens were showing images of launching pads with smoke rising from them; others were playing the Grand Duke's address. Radar displays showed fifty or so bright points flying through the air at high speed, bringing with them death and devastation.

High above all this chaos, a silver dart hung gleaming in the darkness of space. Presently, it came to life, and tilted -- almost imperceptably. Suspicious-looking antennas on its sides began to glow eeriely.

Of the fifty-three missiles flying over the ocean towards our island, one suddenly disintegrated in a ball of fire. Another brushed against a bolt of light that seemingly fell from the sky, spun out of control, and crashed into the blue. There was another flash of light, but none of the missiles were hit -- a patch of boiling, steaming water suddenly appeared in the ocean beneath them. The Planetian fleet's bombardment continued.

By the time the Grand Duchy's assault reached the shores of the Colonists' island, only fifteen missiles remained.

Four, having missed their targets, fell amongst our colony's many lush forests. Fires broke out.

Four others fell in the Central Military Command Complex. No casualties were reported, but the damage was extensive, both in terms of lost buildings and lost equipment.

Three fell onto various fortifications along the Colony's rugged shores. The Fort of Place, which defends our capital from sea-going threats, has been completely disabled. Other, less important fortifications sustained damage.

Four fell on New Place, the colony's capital. Two-thirds of the Parliament Building suddenly dissapeared into a cloud of dust and smoke. The city square before it, along with its statues and flowerbeds, was dashed to pieces. The Governor's Residence, located not far from the Parliament lot, collapsed in on itself.

One missile failed to hit its targets, but did not fall amongst the forest. It fell into a residential zone.

Reports of fifteen civilian casualties -- five deaths, ten serious injuries.

Further casualties have been averted due to the advance warning recieved. The Government of the Colony has moved to an undisclosed location.

Channel 84 reports that all ships belonging to the Grand Duchy of Murduk that are present within Colonial waters and that are not clearly civilian in purpose will be destroyed. Civilian vessels will be confiscated.

Channel 84 reports fleet movements in Planetian waters. The drednought fleet earlier dispatched to patrol waters near Murduk has also moved to blockade the Grand Duchy's largest port.

Rebuilding efforts are underway to repair the damage caused by Murduk's missile attacks, and the forest fires are being subdued.

Further retaliation may be forthcoming.

The Leader today announced that Nova Hibernia's Biotechnology Industry, which is a global pioneer in human cloning, hsa begun work on a massive cloning project from the superior Hibernian genome. It is, naturally, the destiny of the Hibernian people to lead Worker's Revolution the world over and lead the human race (inferior though they may be) into a final Utopia. With this "clone army", we will defend our Great Nation's borders for the glory of Our Leader and Our People!

Long live the Revolution, Long live the Republic, Erin go bragh.

This is a Channel 84 special report. Stand by for an important government broadcast.

<The Governor of the Colony of The Planetian Empire appears on the screen, a nondescript concrete wall with the Imperial flag draped over it in the background. The Governor looks sleep-deprived.>

Dear citizens. Foreign viewers. We, the government of the NationStates Colony of the Planetian Empire hereby announce that we recognize a state of war as existing between the King of Planet and the Grand Duchy of Murduk. The Grand Duchy's unprovoked missile attack has, according to the most recent reports, cost the lives of twenty innocent, civilian citizens of the Planetian Empire. Many others are suffering in hospitals because the warlords in the Murduk government have decided to go the extra mile to keep their WMD programs secret.

In a recent broadcast within Murduk, the Grand Duke stated that theirs was a defencive war, that they would only attack invading forces. And yet, one of the missiles launched by the Grand Duchy into our Colony yesterday seems to have been targeted for a residential area in New Place. This was nothing less than an act of murder, of terrorism, an unforgiveable assault against innocent civilians. Obviously, the statements of the Murduk government are once again innacurate, as were their statements regarding their weapons of mass destruction program.

We can not allow the Grand Duchy to murder our citizens, vandalize our capital, and spread chaos throughout the Colony. We are Planetian citizens. We will defend ourselves.

The Planetian Crown, represented by our Colony, will disarm the Grand Duchy of Murduk. We will not allow a state with their agressive policies and disregard for civilian life to possess weapons of mass destruction or long-range missiles, such as the ones that yesterday were used as an instrument of murder.

We ask all other nations within our region, all nations in the world, to aid us in our mission. Murduk will be disarmed, and Nova Oceania will then be safe. That is our goal, and we will not deviate from it.

We have nothing further to say at the present moment.

Thank you for your time. And Gosh Save the King.

<end communication.>

Fixed in the zenith of the Grand Duchy of Murduk, a Planetian rocket frigate was preparing to go to war. Up until this time it had served as a spy sattelite and as a missile shield. Now it would first serve as a weapon.

By now, a complete survey of the Grand Duchy was completed. Every identifiable missile launch system, every visible missile silo or storage centre has been logged and plotted on a coordinate grid. Soon they would threaten citizens of the Planetian Empire no more.

Cracks suddenly appeared in the silvery surface of the dart-shaped frigate. Presently, several small circular hatches opened. Odd, conical shapes emerged, and floated downwards from the ship, down to where the black of space acquired a tint of blue, and the atmosphere of the planet below began.

A bright flash of light -- and then the shapes were gone, only a series of specks rapidly receding towards the region of Nova Oceania.

Then another volley of missiles was launched, and then -- another.

A second dart-shaped frigate appeared, and supplied an additional punch as the first ship retired, and headed towards space over the Planetian colony to be re-supplied with warheads. A third ship was already on the horizon. A continuous rotation of the five active Planetian rocket frigates in orbit will ensure that at least two are above the Grand Duchy at all times, watching and ready to strike.

And this time, strike they did, within the space of one hour. Soon, every visible missile installation of the Grand Duchy had one or, in a significant number of cases, more, missiles falling towards it.

Those acquainted with basic military statistics for the Colonial space fleets will at this point note that surface bombardment by rocket frigates is usually carried out using high-precision low-yield tactical nuclear warheads.

As soon as they complete their drop through the atmosphere and reach the surface, the Grand Duchy's offencive missile capacity will be no more.

And far beneath the darts of the space ships, on the blue surface of the ocean of Nova Oceania, numerous Planetian ships of a different variety plowed the water. Their watchful eyes, as well as the eyes of the fifth rocket frigate, this one fixed above the Colony itslef, ensured that no Grand Duchy ships or suspicious vessles of any sort would enter Planetian waters. The three Planetian aircraft carriers, deployed off-shore, and their fighters, formed a blanket of air defence around the Colony.

Presently, these ships were joined by the returning drednought fleet that had previously been patrolling the waters of Murduk. This fleet has seemingly been recalled, to join the patrols of friendly waters.

But why? Would the Colony not be interested in monitoring Murduk more closely than just with an eye in orbit?

And there have recently been some rather odd sonar blips detected by several Grand Duchy ships deployed within the waters of Murduk...

<Grand Duke in secret command bunker>

Bodyguard: Sire, their as an urgent message for you from the Armed Forces Director. The Planetians have finally retaliated and have launched several volleys of small nuclear weapons against our missile bases from space. Luckily all that defense spending has paid off and, as they were designed, most of the silos have survived the blasts. We're lucky they choose to use such low yields. Although significant base damage has occured which should knock out our ability to fire any missiles for at least a few weeks.

GD: Didn't we have some sort of missile defence plan as well?

Bodyguard: Uh, if you remember sire, you ordered for the defences to be built just around the capital and a few other cities, while sacrificing the rest of the country's vulnerability.

GD: bring the crew in here, I'm now going to make my address.

<Grand Duke appears on Television confortably seated in his secret bunker far away from danger>

Fellow citizens, earlier today the forces of the Planetian empire bombarded us with nuclear weapons. <pictures of nuclear explosions from famous movies appear>. But do not be alaramed though! The weapons were designated mostly to rural areas where your best friend (the government), had some of it's bases. Unfortunately their have been civilian casualties of those who lived in villages near the bases. While at the moment the figure is uncertain we estimate approximately 1400 are dead in total.

Your friend maintains it's position to fight a defensive war against the Planetians in order to protect our nation's security. We would also like to take this moment to apologize to the Planetian people for the missile that failed to kill your governor but instead killed your civilians; it was by no means our intent for that to happen. We will be more accurate next time.

This message tonight goes out to those other nation's in Nova Oceania. See how this tide of leftist extremism has resorted to weapons of mass destruction to bully the nation's of this region in to submission. <Pictures of destroyed villages displayed on screen>. See how they disregard civilian life to achieve their ideological goals. Murduk only wishes to protect it's national security and to prevent the Planetians from deliberately sabotaging our legal and economic processes to destabilize our country. Just ask yourself the question. Once they finish with Murduk who will they go after next?

Channel 84 Business News:

The Nova Oceania Company, the largest cruise line and merchant fleet owner within the local Colony of the Planetian Empire, has announced that it will be offering free cruise vacations aboard the H.M.W.S. Majesty to a number of the most productive, creative, and overall valuable employees at the CMC's Fontonian automotive factories. The luxury liner will sail from Fontonia's beautiful shores, to the awe-inspiring atolls near the Colony of the Planetian Empire, and then back again, making some stops at highly scenic and tourist-receptive ports and islands. The announcement comes shortly after a new business arangement was signed between the Nova Oceania Company and CMC, in which, it is understood, CMC is to provide the NOC with ship engines and certain other heavy components for the construction of new commercial vessels.

It is hoped by CMC executives that the cruise line offer will attract more Fontonian citizens to seek employment at several new CMC automotive plants which have recently opened in the Republic, and will also act as an incentive to greater productivity.

At the same time, it is hoped the move will relieve war weariness, by proving that the ocean of Nova Oceania is safe, "more so than usual, what with the Planetian fleets patrolling a significant portion of it," stated one CMC executive. The Nova Oceania Company has suffered great profit losses because the current state of war betwen Murduk and the Colony has naturally discouraged vacation travel. The NOC stresses, however, that the cruise ships will naturally steer clear of high-risk zones.

The overall message seems to be "just because there's a nuclear war on, does not mean you can not relax and have a little fun," according to a NOC pamphlet.

The NOC needs more publicity and profits for other reasons, too; the H.M.W.S. Majesty's sister ship, the H.M.W.S. Grand, was impounded by the Planetian navy recently for an unknown length of time, supposedly as part of maritime security percautions.

And now, on to your general fare of war reports.

Channel 84 Reports:

It appears that fighting will soon be breaking out on the high seas, as the war between Murduk and the Planetian Empire once again heats up. A leak from the Military Command acquired by Channel 84 supposedly states that "task forces" composed of warships and frigates are being dispatched to blockade the Grand Duchy's most active commercial ports. The ships, it is understood, will not fire on civilian vessels, but will physically block their path into port, fire warning shots, and will board and confiscate vessels that fail, after this, to turn away from the shores of Murduk. The crews will be returned to their countries of origin (if Murduk is the country of origin, the crew will be given access to lifeboats to make the trip, assuming calm water), as will the vessels along with all cargo, except in the case when the vessels belong to Grand Duchy companies or government, in which case they will be permanently confiscated and labelled as property of the Planetian crown.

This task will be made difficult by forecasts of foggy, rainy weather near Murduk's shores for the coming week, and possibly longer.

<this just in>

Radio reports indicate that one commercial vessel, belonging to a Grand Duchy company or government -- it is unclear which -- has already been stopped by a Planetian submarine. Details are unknown, but there seems to be some talk of "combustible material" aboard the freight vessel... It is possible it is being accused of ferrying explosives for the Grand Duchy's war effort. No shots have been fired so far, it seems... an ultimatum has been presented to the freighter's captain by the Colonial submarine commander, in accordance with the policies we stated above... You will have to stand by for further information.

<FPAC - Fontonian Political Access Channel>

<The President of the D. R. Fontonia appears on Screen>

Dear Citizens, as you are well aware of the current situation between the Grand Duchy of Murduk and the Colony of the Planetian Empire has escallated. With an attack of nuclear tacticle missiles which caused great damage to the Grand Duchy, our government must react. As of now, Fontonia has declared an embargo on the Planetian Empire. All trade to the country has stopped, all ties have stopped, and all peace treaties are revoked. This is in responce to the unprevoked actions of the Planetian Empire who's goals seem to lean toward imperialism, domination, and bullying around countries. 10 minutes ago the order was given to disable the missile space frigate which devestated the Grand Duchy. All PLanetian ships in Fontonian waters will be fired upon with deadly force, all citizens will be asked to leave, and the new automotive companies shut down and become part of the Government of Fontonia. We are at war now, I ask upon the support of all Fontonians to lend a hand in the war effort. Without your support we too could be the victims of the Planetian Empire. Good night, and God bless

<End Transmission>

<FNC - FONT 1 Array>

With the Government of Fontonia declaring war on the CPE, new orders have been issued out. Long range stealth bombers have started a bombing campaign of the capitol city. A swift retalliation is expected, as a result the government has set up their war-time base of operations, hospitals are at full alert, and the national defences are at full strenght. That is all for now, but we will keep you informed 24 hours a day. Good night

I will support Planetian Empire.

200 A.T.A. SEF Forces will ATTACK!

Channel 84 Special Report

<The Governor of the Planetian Empire appears, looking determined, confident, and highly caffenated.>

Citizens; people of Nova Oceania; friends and allies around the world. Firstly, we would like to clarify the motive behind our government's recent actions. Our assault on the Grand Duchy of Murduk was purely defensive. Their earlier missile attack was unprovoked, and displayed to us what a great threat such attacks could constitute to more of our citizens in the future. By disabling Murduk's missile capacity with our bombardment, we were taking a defensive action. It was hardly unprovoked.

The declaration of war by the Democratic Republic of Fontonia thus seems to us irrational. With its economy, driven by its vast population and almost the equal of our own, and its leadership, whose actions can not be predicted and which may strike anyone with the slightest provocation, Fontonia now seems to represent an even greater threat to our region than the Grand Duchy does. A far greater threat, in fact, for at least the Grand Duchy may be reasoned with, and attacks, while without sufficient cause, at least with somewhat comprehensible cause; Fontonia has carried out attacks against our nation at a time when the Colony was extending kindness and friendship towards it.

We therefore announce a cessation of all hostilities towards Murduk; our blockade fleets and all our other ships in the waters of the Grand Duchy have been recalled, and, as a sign of goodwill, we have moved our rocket frigates to a different orbit, away from the Grand Duchy's zenith. If the Grand Duchy is, as it claims, fighting a defenisve war, this will lead to a ceasefire.

We thank the The Armed Republic of The Anti-Terror Army for their aid. We would state that now that we will carry out no further attacks against Murduk, any attacks by the ATA against the Grand Duchy will be entirely distinct from our own policies, however. In any case, the ATA's gesture of friendship and alliance will be remembered.

That is all our government has to say at present. Thank you for your time. Gosh save the King.

<end communication>

Air combat has occured between attacking Fontonian bombers and defending Colonial fighters, launched to intercept from one of our aircraft carriers and land bases. The Fontonian air forces managed to break through our defenses without suffering intolerable damage; our fighters were unable to successfully pursue the enemy for long enough to cause more substantial damage. Heavier Fontonian losses occured as their bombers began passing over our island, as our chain of forts deployed anti-aircraft heat rays. Nonetheless, the stealth capacity of the enemy aircraft has ensured that the city of New Place did sustain considerable damage, particularly to the industrial sector; reports of heavy civilian casualties; damage estimated in many millions of pieces of ten. Reconstruction projects will begin immediately; but nothing can bring back the lives lost.

This unprovoked attack means that the Fontonian pilots, their superior officers, and their government, now have innocent blood on their hands. This, the first engagement between our two nations, has been entirely without the slightest provocation, and is, in essence, murder.

Planetian rocket frigates have altered their orbits to maximize coverage of Colonial territory; this will ensure maximum efficiency as a missile defence shield, will allow us to see any approaching vessels long in advance, and will make the task of detecting stealth aircraft easier.

The Colonial coast guard has once again re-deployed its ships. Our fleets, including both drednoughts, are now deployed within our own waters, and will most effectively protect us from any seagoing threat. Our aircraft carriers continue to provide us with air cover, and most of our vessels now have orders to use their heat rays as anti-aircraft units against any hostile Fontonian forces.

~~~~

On an unrelated note, communications personnel and certain radio astronomers in all other nations in Nova Oceania have just reported a powerful, and highly unusual, electromagnetic anomaly, which, after some investigation, has been traced back to somewhere within Colonial territory. By combining their data with certain leaks from Colonial military offices, a few interested scientific researchers have determined that the anomaly was caused by a highly focused and complex null-radio signal, sent by a powerfull transmitter somewhere within the Colony of the Planetian Empire, and directed into the frigid deep of outer space.

<Grand Duke appears on Television>

Fellow citizens, earlier today your new other best friend the government of Fontonia, alarmed by the escalation of the Planetian measures in this dispute and being themselves targets of aggressive Planetian policies, could no longer tolerate the situation and declared war. The Grand Duchy give its most heartfelt of thanks to the Fontonians in these times of uncertainty and has announced a new "Thanks to Fontonia" monument to be built near the ruins of Aberwaiven, one of the villages destroyed by the nuclear attack.

Seeing their change in position the Planetians have withdrawn their forces from our coasts and promised to discontinue attacking us. We, the people of Murduk, would like to live in peace with the Planetians, however the recent actions of the Planetian Empire have forced us to call in to doubt the Planetians sincerity of their proposal. Nuclear weapons are for deterrance not for liberal use when other bombs aren't available. The Planetians have not understood this, and as such we cannot have trust in them until they give up their weapons of mass destruction. If we all made peace with the Planetians today then could we really expect they would not be back to their old tricks tomorrow, that they would not try to assert their dominance again?

As a result your best friend has adopted the following policy. We agree to a temporary cease-fire on the premise that the Planetians wish to seriously negotiate a peace agreement in which they must give up their weapons of mass destruction. If this premise proves false then the war must continue in order to protect our national security from this rogue state.

Comrades, Friends, Allies, Foreign Devils:

The Great Immortal Leader of Our Invincible Nation, The Gaudio, wishes me to convey the following to you...

In this time of uncertainty, the People's Republic of Nova Hibernia wishes to remain neutral and friendly with the other nations of Nova Oceania. For this reason, we will be embracing a policy of free trade with all our neighbours and various private firms operating within them. Don't worry though... We will make every effort that illicit trading between private consortiums in Fontonia and Murduk will not trade with each other under the noses of their governments... Nosireebob, we will make sure that does not happen. And we certainly won't profit from it by making them pay us a small surtax. Nope, not at all! And by the way, we've cloned a few million of those soldiers. We don't need to spend much maintaining them, as they'll be seeing action soon. I mean, NOT seeing action soon. NOT! NOT AT ALL! Hehe... Ah bloody hell, never mind...

Administrative Note:

As following with the rules outlined in the beginning of the event a few things need to be made note of. The Anti-Terror Army cannot interfere with this war as stated at the top second sentence. Also contempoary weapons was stated to be used. Planetian Empire does not have some giant space weapon as it has not been invented yet, and Nova Hibernia does not have a massive multi-million clone army.

Itar-Tass RTE CNN DPRK KGB NDP News Special Report!

Nova Hibernian Leader Robert Gaudio made an unusual public appearance today in the Hibernian capital of Gaudiograd. Standing atop a balcony over a teeming crowd, the Gaelic Peoples' Flag waving from all possible points and the Internationale and Amhran na bhFiann playing from loud speakers, Gaudio addressed his populace. A partial excerpt from his speech follows below.

"Comrades, we stand now at a time of crisis for our people!"

*applause*

"The gathering stormclouds of war approach us on the horizon and our People will answer that call!"

*confused sort of sound, then applause*

"Our people have not been pushed too far! We have not been oppressed! Our believes have not been insulted nor our great land threatened!"

*applause*

"But, seeing as I have nothing better to do, we, the Immortal Race of Nova Hibernia, shall march to WAR!"

*applause*

"And besides, who HASN'T wanted to take the Planetians down a peg or two? I know I have! So march onward, Comrades, for the Future of all the World is in your hands!"

*applause*

Apparently, the Nova Hibernian President feels strongly about something, but we don't really know what it is. In the meantime, 450 000 Nova Hibernian clone troops have landed on the Planetian Colony's beaches and parachuted into its cities. They are currently working their way towards the Planetian stronghold at New Place.

Administrative No:

I don't recall any regulation about foreign involvement. Where is this
regulation? I don't see the regulation! Okay, so we should have written down the regulations... ah well.

As to technology, well, I'm the Planetian Empire. We have spaceships. We have heat rays. It's what the Planetian Empire is. If you ask me to change that, I wouldn't be the Planetian Empire anymore. Which would maket his very not fun for me. And I'd cry. In any case, you will note that I have not used the technology "unfairly"; that is, the spaceships have been used essentially as space-based missile platforms, which makes their effect little different from that of long-range ballistic missiles or the kind of orbital weapons platforms that were designed by the US and USSR during the Cold War, and which are perfectly feasable. Think of the rocket frigates as a combination spy sattelite/missile defence satellite/space-based weapons platform. The only difference is that it has a crew and can defend itself. Nothing way far out there.

As to the heat rays, think of them as regular artillery weapons. Only cooler. Or "hotter"... hee hee... yeah. So there.

Of course, before actually reaching the Colony, the Nova Hibernian paratroopers were detected by our orbiting rocket frigates, then they faced heavy fire from the AA guns on our carefully positioned ships, then they were engaged by our air fighters (and remember these are Hibernian transport helicopters we're talking about here, not Fontonian stealth bombers), then they faced more, and heavier, AA fire from our chains of defensive forts and mobile AA installations, which are naturally concentrated around our cities. Then they were shot at by police and the military, which by now had ample warning of their approach.

As for the landing parties, they had an even harder time, since our naval forces were fully deployed, and our submarines, drednoughts, warships, and frigates, as well as coastal forts, all tried, often successfully, to summarily sink them.

Indeed, although we do not know the exact numbers, we do know for a fact that 450,000 Nova Hibernian troops could not, and did not, make it to our territory alive. Perhaps Nova Hibernia itself will offer us a more accurate number... <nudge nudge>

Dear Government of The Grand Duchy of Murduk;

We are fully willing to consider the dismantling of all of our atomic weapons, and we will be happy to allow Murduk weapons inspectors into our territory and aboard our rocket frigates to verify our compliance, althought this may be dangerous under present circumstances. However, before we replace our frigates' armament with much less effective, but, in your eyes, less immoral, high-yield chemical explosives, we must ask that your government sign with us an assurance of peace greater in rank than a "temporary cease-fire"; we would sign a permanent treaty of non-agression, peace, and peaceful trade.

We look forward to your responce.

Office of the Governor

<Having sent his offer to the people of Murduk, the Governor turns to an aide.>

G: What of our transmission? Have the glorious Planetian Military rocket fleets been dispatched from the core Empire to protect our colony and rain terror and destruction upon our enemies?

A: Not yet, Sire. We are told our request for reinforcements has been recieved by the Extra-Imerial Communications Department, from where it was forwarded to the Ministry of Colonial and Protectorate Affairs, which promises to send it to the Department of Intra-Imperial Communications, from which it will move to the Ministry of Long-Range Observation, which will, upon ascertaining our existance, send the request back to the Ministry of Colonial and Protectorate Affairs, which will dispatch a Crown Observer to us the moment one becomes available, which, we are assured, will be very soon, to see if our small, insignificant colony (a) really needs the core Empire's help, and (b) really deserves it. And if the Observer's report is favorable, it will be promptly sent to the Ministry of...

G: Allright, allright, we're on our own, gotcha. Fine. We'll handle this ourselves. At least we won't have to fight the Grand Duchy.

A: But Sire, what about their secret WMD programs?

G: Judging by their responce to our use of atomic bombs, I venture to say they will likely only use WMDs for deterrence.

A: How can you be sure, Sire?

G: Because I wrote a brilliant paper about how the world would be at peace if everyone had atomic bombs a while back, and I can now clearly see that that is the very document which Murduk, recognizing my genius, is basing its foreign policy on.

A: Ah, I see... and what about the attack of the clones?

G: Oh, don't worry. Because of their inherently unstable telomeres, they will all die of old age within the week.

A: Very good, Sire.

"And now, for a war between medium-sized countries in the region of Nova Oceania. We don't ask anyone else to post here. You could if you want to for whatever reason, but to an extent only... this is really a war between four nations whose leaders actually know each other, with very lax RP and seriousness rules, and we would not appreciate any multi-billion-person state coming in here, taking it all far too seriously, and crushing us all. Or crushing some of us. We're just playing a very slow, probably perpentual war, in which days may pass between consecutive posts. "

The current space weapons that you're using are fine, but if you "call upon my giant fleet of death cubes with Bablyon 5 crap cramed into it" then that shouldn't be allowed.

Note on way this is going: I have no problem with ATA getting involved in the conflict regardless of the side.

As for the space weapons, I would just like to ask to make sure that they make sense. For example if Planet has some sort of laser firing ship in orbit that can pinpoint flying missiles and destroy them with a laser beam, then it should also be logical that the same weapon could be used to fry cities or pinpoint small objects (i.e. national leaders in vehicles) and destroy them.


<Grand Duke in secret council with directories>

GD: So what's our next move against the Planetians, after they reject our agreement?

Advisor: Uh sire, you may want to look at this. <hands planetian message>

GD: What? You mean they're actually willing to go through with this? Sign the treaty, send the inspectors immediately! Tell them to demand from the planetians to watch every part of their nukes disassembled and explained, get pictures too! and then send them back to our own research department. We'll be nuclear capable by wednesday!

<Grand Duke on Television>

My fellow citizens, recently the Great Immortal Leader of the people's republic of Nova Hibernia has made some statements and then the Hibernians invaded the Planetian empire. Following this the Planetians have finally stopped their threats against the Grand Duchy and have agreed to peace terms. By such an agreement the Planetians have promised to allow Duchy experts to watch as they disassemble their nuclear capacity, which they used so barbarically against us recently. Your friend wishes to assure you that you know longer need to fear the Planetians as they have learned the error in their ways. Long live Murduk.

"And now, for a war between medium-sized countries in the region of Nova Oceania. We don't ask anyone else to post here. You could if you want to for whatever reason, but to an extent only... this is really a war between four nations whose leaders actually know each other, with very lax RP and seriousness rules, and we would not appreciate any multi-billion-person state coming in here, taking it all far too seriously, and crushing us all. Or crushing some of us. We're just playing a very slow, probably perpentual war, in which days may pass between consecutive posts. "

The current space weapons that you're using are fine, but if you "call upon my giant fleet of death cubes with Bablyon 5 crap cramed into it" then that shouldn't be allowed.

The same post you quoted above, Fontonia, also stated that some limited foreign involvement would be fine. Even the part you quoted above contains the words "We don't ask anyone else to post here. You could if you want to for whatever reason, but to an extent only." What I was trying to say is that we don't want other nations to more or less take over the RP. Some limited involvement, with small numbers of troops, or financial aid, or anything else like that, is AOK by me. But in any case, I doubt we'll attract that much attention. And now, back to the story.

Oh, wait, not quite. About my space weapons. Murduk feels that my orbiting ships could also be used to attack cities, since they can destroy missiles. They really can't. The blasts from the photon cannons my rocket frigates carry loose much of their destructive power after passing through the atmosphere, and thus would not be an effective space-to-surface weapon. That is why we use missiles to bombard the surface instead. The photon cannons are still powerful enough to destroy missiles... but remember that a missile is a bundle of powerful explosives tied to a fuel tank. With a fragile, easily breakable engine at the back. And moving at high speeds, where the sudden impact of a photon blast can throw the missile off balance, and send it tumbling to the surface before it can re-stabilize. Yes. Also, the heat capacity of buildings and national leaders is quite high compared to that of most of the materials the missile is composed of.

This is Channel 84.

<A video clip of a rocketship landing gently on a pad near some military-looking buildings. As it comes to rest on the ground, heavy machinery and personell surround it, obviously preparing for some important operation.>

As our Colony disposes of its atomic weapons, the ships of our rocket frigate fleet are landing at military bases to have their arsenal of nuclear space-to-surface and space-to-space missiles removed, inspected, and then sent to disarming facilities. Batteries of powerful chemical explosive missiles are then installed on board, and the ships once again head for orbit. Rotation of ships ensures that four remain in orbit at all times to protect our citizens and to observe the Republic of Fontonia.

<Inside the ship, men and women in white coats with Grand Duchy insignia stand, watch, and ask numerous questions as workers remove shiny, cone-shaped objects from their installations and carefully carry them outside.>

In accordance with the recently signed peace treaty between our Colony and Murduk, inspectors from the Grand Duchy, having been recently flown in, are enjoying full access to the rocketships and facilities, ensuring that no nuclear weapons remain on board, and that only chemical explosive weapons are installed. The inspectors are also monitoring the dismantling process of all nuclear missile storage facilities on the surface.

The inspectors also observe the disarming process itself.

<The disarming process. View of a small atoll in the far distance. People in Planetian and Grand Duchy uniforms are standing aboard a ship in the foreground, watching the atoll. Suddenly, the tiny island explodes and dissapears in a brilliant flash of light. View changes to a Planetian bureaucrat.>

Bureaucrat: "Oh, surely it is worth it. With the peace treaty in place, our nations are once again close friends. Trade is warming up, and we need no longer fear any sort of aggression from the Grand Duchy. As for the disarming, yes... we gave it a lot of thought, and figured this was the easiest way to get rid of the weapons. Much quicker, cheaper AND safer than diffusing them within laboratories or military installations. If that's even possible. You'll have to bear in mind that these things were never really *designed* to be permanently diffused. So we just ship them by the boatload to the same atolls we've been using for nuclear testing for years, dump a bunch of them on some island, and set them all to detonate at once. At this rate, there won't be any bombs left within just a few more days."

Interviewing reporter: "But didn't the inspectors from Murduk demand to see the bombs taken apart and explained?"

Bureaucrat: "Well, yes, they did... we set one or two individual bombs of each type aside for that, so they can be certain we're not hiding anything."

<Cut to a laboratory. Planetian scientists are standing around one of the missiles, and explaining it to some Grand Duchy inspectors.>

Inspector: Quit stalling! Take off the casing so we can see the insides of the missile already!
Scientist: That would make it explode.
I: Then disarm it first!
S: That would also make it explode. They were never meant to be disarmed.
I: Then... like... show us diagrams and blueprints and plans and stuff!
S: Sure... here, hold on a moment... <hands over a big pile of large sheets of paper.> That's the diagrams and plans and all.
I: They're written in gibberish. And the drawings make no sense.
S: Well, they're in Planetian. And the blueprint drawings follow Planetian conventions. But don't worry, with our help in translating and all, you should have English-language copies, following local convention within... oh... a few months.
I: A few months?!
S: Well, yes. What did you expect? The language developed half a galaxy away! Official Written Planetian, used for important papers like this, is one of the most complex written languages in the universe. And it won't be easy to match up the diagrams to your local style of blueprints, either. In any case, why are you so very curious about the design? You already know we're getting rid of the bombs, why do you need to see them explained, too?
I: <Shifty eyes. Tugs at collar nerviously.> Umm... no reason. No reason at all! Really! Would we lie? Yes... so... a few months, eh...

<A different inspector takes out a camera and takes a picture of the solid, feature-less, shiny metal cone of the missile.>

Long-range missile storage facilities, launch sites, and other installations in Fontonia have been bombarded from orbit by the Colony of the Planetian Empire with high-yield chemical explosives. The objective is to eliminate the capacity of the Democratic Republic to strike the Colony with long-range weapons.

<somewhere off the Grand Duchy's anarctic coast a group of scientists and military observers are huddled in a trench looking out towards the sea. Suddenly a brilliant flash of light followed by a tremendous explosion appears.>

<Grand Duke in Conference Room with military directors>

Director #1: Congratulations sire, a few minutes ago Operation WMD was successful. Thanks to the very delayed information we got from the Planetians and our own research we are now nuclear capable. With the Planetians disarmed Weapons of Mass Destruction and our nation having a superior conventional armed forces per capita to the rest of the region, we are now the militarily dominant power.

GD: Excellent! Now what is the status of the region?

D #2: Well after the Planetians bombed the Fontonians a few months back the situation seems to have cooled down between the rival countries. A few new developments though, a mysterious island filled with leftist Croatian people seems to have transported itself into our region; our scientists are investigating. There is also a growing situation with the Planetians. They've had some economic difficulties, and this has led to growing unrest and anger directed towards the higher Imperial authorities. The Fontonians are currently silent on the issue, but the Hibernians and Dalmatians are both advocating Oceanic Planetian independence. The Hibernians are offering weapons to certain factions.

GD: While the Hibernians are important trading partners, we must not allow them to convert another nation of this region to Communism! If we did then who could be next? We should intervene to prevent this situation from going out of control.

<Grand Duke on television broadcast about region>

GD: Fellow people of Nova Oceania, recently there has been must great unrest in The Tumultuous Protectorate of the Planetian Empire that we as friends to the Planetian people have all been concerned by. This issue has the potential to threaten the stability and peace of our entire region. In an effort to stem this threat and help the good Planetian people, the Grand Duchy of Murduk has drawn up plans for a peacekeeping force, made up of any willing nations, to take over security operations from Imperial Planetian troops and police in areas the proper Planetian Protectorate government allows. This force will ensure the peaceful running of affairs, and use all means necessary to prevent radical and extremist elements from terrorizing the Planetian people. We hope that the Planetian government in their wisdom will accept this force as a means to aid them in the fight against these extremist elements that have already caused them such trouble and grief.

This is a Channel 84 Live Special Report

We now go live to the office of the Prime Minister, where the leader of the Protectorate of the Planetian Empire will be making a statement.

<The Prime Minister appears, sitting behind a desk, looking unusually pale, the Imperial flag in the background.>

Dear people of the Prote... I mean... dear citizens of the Planetian Empire. As you... as you all know, this proud nation... our proud colony was founded by the Planetian Empire, by the proud... brave... the brave conquerors and explorers of Planet, to whom we owe a great debt. And as you may also know, some elementals... some elements in our nation have been displaying... a lack of thankfulness for this... and have... um... have arrogantly expressed a belief... have expressed the TERRIBLE and FOUL arrogant opinion that we do not need Planet today. Well, let me tell you something, we do. And a few piece of tens in tax money are worth the protection of the Crown, and the prospect... I mean... respect we must all feel for the Empire. Therefore I, of my own free will, and in a completely uninfluenced manner, have decided that taxes will be returned to their normal levels so that we can continue to send His Majesty the King his due... and... um... yes. And also that the petition of SMLBOOM is... is not sufficient. I know that the people of the Protecto... the people of the Planetian Empire will allways support the King, and that SMLBOOM is just a small group of dissenters, which is advised to stop their... it's... immoral activity. And yes. Um. Thank you, yes. Yes, that's it? Good? Thank you. Good-bye.

~~~~

In the night sky above the Protectorate, five small points of bright light, looking like fireflies, are dashing back and forth. Each seems to fall to the earth somewhere in the countryside near New Place, the walled capital of the Protectorate, then briefly flicker out, and then rise gently into the sky again, dissapearing in the distance, then returning. Gradually, one by one, all the lights descend to the earth one final time, and remain there, eventually going out. And then, a minute later, a flash is seen in the sky, and a new star appears in the zenith. Presently it moves accross the sky at an ever-growing pace, and then dissapears. The Imperial rocket warship has left orbit, and now accelerates, strained to the limit by its speed. Your astronomers would tell you that it will arrive at its apparent destination, a certain planetary system, in two days.

~~~~

A small Northern Dalmatian cargo vessel bound for the Protectorate has been intercepted in international waters just outside Planetian territory by a Planetian frigate. The cargo vessel's crew is ordered to submit to an inspection of their ship. However will they act?

~~~~

A publicly available written message signed (in a seemingly shaky hand) by the Prime Minister of the Protectorate briefly but politely thanks the people of Murduk for their offer of assitance, but assures them that no international police force is needed to protect the Protectorate, as the present situation really isnt' that serious, and our glorious forces are quite capable of handling it if anything should come up. But thank you, really.

~~~~

A large privately owned yacht, registered as property of one Ms. Ile, is approaching Nova Hibernian waters. Ms. Ile herself is likely not aboard however, as she has been seen in New Place.

~~~~

That is all from the Protectorate at present.

A privately owned yacht registered to noted Planetian colonist Ile has been detected in our waters. The Leader quickly ordered the People's Coast Guard to intercept the yacht in an attempt to ascertain its cargo, human or otherwise. The Leader made a brief statement earlier this morning: "Any of those enemies of the immoral and counter-revolutionary monarchy who wish refuge and aid in their Struggle in our Land, may our doors be always open!" Whether or not any Planetian dissenters will take The Leader up on His offer remains to be seen.

He then spent the better part of a quarter of an hour reiterating his stance that the people of the Colony should rise up against its cruel bourgeois government. Then he went back to bed.

The Prime Minister of the Protectorate made an unusually confused and nervous statement this morning by stuttering out a message of mild condemnation at the government of Nova Hibernia for its interference in the Protectorate's and the Crown's affairs. The Prime Minister also requested, in a very demanding way, that the Planetian yacht intercepted by the People's Coast Guard be immediately turned over, along with its crew, passengers, and cargo, to the Protectorate Coast Guard, which has presently moved several of its ships as close as possible to the location of the yacht without actually entering Nova Hibernian waters.

~~~~

Ms. Ile and several other high-profile leaders of SMLBOOM have reportedly fled New Place, hours before arrest warrants were issued out on all of them for disturbing the peace and for Conspiracy against the Crown. A small number of alleged conspirators has been arrested. Cities across the Protectorate seem to be swarming with gendarmes and with soldiers of the National Guard, all on high alert by recent order of the Prime Minister. Many weapons installations and a small number of soldiers of the Crown, presumably from the warship that left orbit almost two days ago, have also been seen in the streets of New Place.

Radio Northern Dalmatia

News Update

1. Elections

In the run-up to Senate elections in the New Year, the Peasant Party of Northern Dalmatia (PPND) has been making strong headway in the polls. It stands on a platform of responsible capitalism and social progressivism, and has also made clear its support for SMLBLOOM, openly offering to shelter any political exiles and refugees from the Protectorate. The PPND's main rival, the Moderate Party, has in contrast insisted on complete neutrality on the crisis in the Protectorate. The Moderates' leader, Ante Bajamonti, reminded NOrthern Dalmatians of the country's small size and relative weakness, urging the populace not to risk the wrath of the Planetian Empire. The extremist Planetophile Party, which has less than 0.13% of popular support at the moment, reiterated calls for the institution of Planetian overlordship, though this stance has not resonated with voters.

2. The Planetian Protectorate Crisis

Today there is a tense situation in the waters between Nova Hibernia and the Protectorate, as several high ranking members of the SMLBLOOM movement have sought refuge in Nova Hibernian waters, including its most famous leader, Ms. Ile. Given Nova Hibernia's support for reform in the Protectorate, the situation is especially sensitive, and the Planetian Empire has demanded the return of the SMLBLOOM members to Planetian custody. In an effort to ease tensions, the Rector of the Republic, in the name of the Executive Council, has just made an offer to both the Nova Hibernian and Planetian governments to take the SMLBLOOM members in question into the Republic's care, and to house them at the Rectoral summer house at Nova Korcula, under police protection. In related news, a minor misunderstanding involving a small ND cargo vessel in international waters near Planetian territory has been resolved. As it turns out, the vessel, carrying a shipment of electric-powered scooters, had been thrown off course by a freak storm, and had been seeking to find the nearest port. Several ships of the ND Coast Guard have rendez-vous-ed with the vessel, and have escorted her to the nearest ND port.

3. The ND Catholic Church in Crisis.

After the Archbishop's announcement of major reforms, several ultra-conservative parishes have decided to split away to constitute the self-proclaimed Autonomous Catholic Province of SS Anastasius and Jerome. No comment yet from the Archbishop on this recent development.

4. Tuktukian Winter Festival

Today, the Rector of the Republic officially wished the Tuktukian ethnic-religious minority a Happy Winter Festival. The Tuktukians, or Mhatuktukl, are a tribe of hunter-gatherers that have just recently been discovered in the far interior of ND's lush forests, though who have quickly adapted to become leaders in the gaming industry of ND, as well as leaders in the manufacture of luxury car upholstery and quality audio electronics.

--- end of transmission ---

Channel 84 hearsay:

A large number of high-ranking SMLBOOM members have managed to evade the sea forces of the Protectorate, and have taken refuge in the cities of Northern Dalmatia, where sources claim they have been meeting with representatives of the PPND. Meanwhile, several members of SMLBOOM captured by the coast guard have... um... willingly revealed... that SMLBOOM is desperately in need of weapons and, many of its leaders being wealthy, would likely be trying to make agreements with neighbouring states related to acquiring such. The fact that financial support by wealthy individuals would be beneficial to the PPND has also been noted.

Openly admitting that it is seeking weapons has caused SMLBOOM to be labelled a terrorist group by the Deputy Prime Minister of the Protectorate (the Prime Minister being ill, as we are told). The Protectorate government urges neighbouring governments to do nothing to support the SMLBOOM outlaws, or risk being labelled as terrorist regimes. In fact, demands have been made that the Northern Dalmatian government immediately turn over any terrorists within its territory to the Protectorate government.

While many high-ranking SMLBOOM members have fled the Protectorate, some remain in hiding within its borders. While they are being constantly pursued by officials, the vast Swiss Bank-protected resources of these terrorist leaders have made it possible for them to evade capture so far. Luckily, however, the proletariat supporters of SMLBOOM, constituting the bulk of its power, have so far remained largely quiet, disorganized, and without direction.

A record number of important executives have been officially dismissed from various Protectorate companies and replaced with less experienced and less terrorism-aligned individuals.

Meanwhile, radio telescopes across the region have detected a reasonably large group of rocket vessels approaching the planet, to arrive in about a day. Their origin is the same system that a certain rocket warship has recently departed for.

Whoops. This is irritating. Well, anyway, "The Advanced Mollusks" is Myck's alternate, evil-er, and more ignored nation-state, located somewhere in the Pacific. For reasons I'm not aware of, whenever I log out as "The Planetian Empire," the game signs me in again as "The Advanced Mollusks." What happened is it seems to have signed me out by itself because I left it idling for too long while logged in. Ah well. Same thing.

Quite. Repeat post. Did I mention that I hate my computer sometimes?

Channel 84:

The yacht registered to terrorist leader Ile, which was at the heart of a near-dispute between the People's Coast Guard and the Royal Protectorate Coast Guard, has spontaneously exploded this evening, presumably killing the dissenters assumed to have still been on board.

Preliminary reports by both the Peoples' and the Protectorate's Coast Guards agree in judging the event to be a probable accident, and there is no evidence to support sabotage as a possible cause, although it has been suggested as a potential explanation by certain observers.

The yacht, it is known, exceeded its' engines' maximum safe output limit during dangerous maneuvers it needed to undertake to evade Planetian ships while en route to Nova Hibernian waters. The nuclear-powered engines which run most Protectorate-built ships take a long time to cool down after prolonged and especially unsafe use. This fact, combined with the reports of Nova Hibernian officers who claim to have noted signs of fire on the yacht from a distance shortly before the explosion, has led to the acceptance of an engine fire, which could have slowly spread to highly combustible components of the yacht, as the cause of the explosion by most. It is possible that the crew was not aware of what could have initially been a small fire until it was too late, explaining why they did not call for help or try to flee the vessel, suggest Nova Hibernian officials.

No survivors or bodies have been recovered from the wreckage, although the fact that the incident occured long after sunset has made the search for such difficult.

It is also clear that Ms. Ile herself was not killed in the explosion, as she was reportedly seen in New Place after the yacht left Planetian waters. The terrorist leader is presently in hiding, her whereabouts unknown.

Radio Northern Dalmatia

BREAKING NEWS

A mysterious explosion has occured at a remote farmhouse near the Northern Dalmatian coast, that the Northern Dalmatian Security Secretariate has suggested might have been a safehouse for the SMLBLOOM exiles. The explosion completely levelled the building, and the municipal coroner has declared that there were no survivors. Rumours are spreading, however, that the SMLBLOOM exiles have escaped underground, though nothing can be proven at the moment. In an emergency telecast, the Rector urged calm, and declared that the truth would be pursued diligently. PPND leaders have so far been silent, on the matter, though it is reported that several Planetophile partisans have been spotted out drinking in celebration of the apparent demise of the SMLBLOOM exiles.

Blah, double post. Damned technical difficulties....

Channel 84

A fleet of two Planetian rocket warships, three small troop transports, six rocket frigates, and accompanying fighters has entered orbit this morning. Within hours, the cities of the Protectorate were swarming with Royal soldiers on patrol for members of the terrorist Semi-Militant Lobby for the Better Organization Of Monies. The leader of the National Widget Makers' Union was arrested by the newly arrived troops just a few hours ago, accused of spreading terrorist propaganda amongst his union members. Meanwhile, the search for Ms. Ile and other known SMLBOOM leaders has intensified.

~~~~

A somewhat drunk member of the Planetophyle party of Northern Dalmatia has revealed to the wrong people an interesting story about a shady man in sunglasses and an expensive suit who recently approached members of his party, claiming to be a representative of the Crown of Planet. The character implied that the present government of Northern Dalmatia is barely democratic, that it does not deserve to rule, that it would be national suicide for Northern Dalmatia to hand over power to some ignorant peasants or no-platform moderates, and that the Planetophyle party is therefore Northern Dalmatia's only hope for the future, whatever the polls may say.

~~~~

An informer of Northern Dalmatia's government has managed to follow, in the night, a suspicious motorcade of Planetophyle Party members to an isolated, rocky spot of the nation's coast, where the Planetophyles, first trying to make certain that no-one was about, proceeded to descend to the water with electric torches and raise a signal flag. Within minutes, the swirling waters by the shore parted to reveal a submarine, Planetian insignia visible on its hull. Planetian Crown Military soldiers in boats laden with large crates made the short trip from the submarine to the shore, where a discussion took place between them and the Planetophyles. The two parties shook hands, an abundant supply of the crates was loaded into the Planetophyles' trucks, and the soldiers returned to their submarine, which promptly dissapeared beneath the waves. The Planetophyle motorcade then drove off. The government informant was not able to follow it further without risking detection.

~~~~

And now, the latest developments from the Tumultuous Protectorate of The Planetian Empire:

~~~~
Trained in guerilla combat and covert operations by the Nova Hibernian government, SMLBOOM operatives have been spreading liberty and destruction across the lands of the Protectorate. Neither the might of the Crown soldiers nor the difficulties the once-wealthy leaders of SMLBOOM faced in adapting to their new simple lifestyle deterred the terrorists and freedom-fighters from their goal: to mildly reform the Protectorate's relationship with His Majesty the King of the Planetian Empire in order to win somewhat lower taxes and future economic stability. Assassinations, sabotage, and propaganda ground away at the hard shell of the government's defenses. It soon became apparent to Imperial observers that they would not long be able to maintain control of the Protectorate. So they took one last, drastic step for the defence of the Empire.
~~~
As a SMLBOOM-incited mob battered at the gates of the Parliament complex in New Place, the remaining royalists, Imperial officials and loyal military personnel hiding within were, with agonizing slowness, airlifted out by Planetian rocket boats and delivered to the safety of the orbiting fleet. And, when the last royalist was safe, the captain of the Planetian flagship barked a few final orders, and turned his attention to the island of the Protectorate, lying far beneath. Soon it would be made an example of.
~~~
And now, an excerpt from Myck's short story about Planet, "Soliloquy:" "The Planetian Weapon of Mass Destruction is a terrifying device. It projects a ray that nullifies the mass of any object it touches. Free from the bonds of gravity, the target flies off into open space, abandoned by planets and stars as they continue on their winding orbits. It never returns." Of course, in the case of a target as massive as an island, the weapon of mass destruction's ray must be diffused to cover the entire object, and the effects are somewhat less dramatic, although no less effective.
~~~~
The sky over the Protectorate darkened. Great tidal waves licked its rocky shores, and the ground began to shake. Sickening thuds and snapping noises, coming from deep beneath the earth, reached the ears of its petrified citizens. Suddenly, the entire island seemed to shift. Below the waters of its coast, a new fault line opened -- the planet's crust could no longer take the strain. Several coastal cities were wiped out by tsunami, and then the weapon high above the island was shut off, and, for a moment, everything was still.
~~~
But presently, the entire bulk of the Protectorate's island began to slowly sway, shift, and, gradually, settle into the waters of the Pacific! The ocean encroached upon the shores, then the plains, the farmers' fields, the cities, at length - the hills and mountains. The people panicked. Some ran for high ground, the more sensible ones -- for the remaining ports and airports. Like a swarm of flies, overfilled aircraft, bearing no more than an insignificant fraction of the nation's population, hopped into the sky and headed for the neighbouring countries. Beneath them the turbulent waves of the Pacific closed above the highest peaks of the Protectorate.
~~~
Minutes later, the Planetian fleet left orbit. Its duty was done. The waters of the Pacific slowly calmed, and a small fleet of surviving aircraft and seagoing ships diffused itself across the blue of the sea, carrying crowds of refugees to Nova Hibernia, Northern Dalmatia, Murduk, and Fontonia. And countless fathoms beneath the waves, the island of the Protectorate, with its ruined cities and broken mountains, came to rest on the cold, dark ocean floor, where it will forever remain, a home to fish, crustaceans, and giant man-eating squid. So far beneath the surface is the Protectorate, that there exist no known means of surviving the pressure, coldness, and darkness of that depth. Its soaking population must remain cut off from the rest of civilization --- forever?
~~~~
P.S. The U.N. weather forecast for the Protectorate, "fair and mild, with a zero probability of precipitation," has been found to be somewhat inaccurate.
~~~
A slight correction: The second-last sentence in the main part of the story is supposed to mean that no known technology or means of transportation could survive the pressure, coldness, and darkness of that depth. I assure everyone that the submerged people of the Protectorate themselves are quite fine, if a bit shocked, wet, cold, and without any means of getting to the surface.

Nova Hibernia speaks:

RTE Itar-Tass SPECIAL REPORT:

The Leader of Nova Hibernia hosted a gala at Áras an Uachtaráin this evening accompanied by members of his government, journalists, respected members of Nova Hibernian society, a group of Japanese tourists who got lost but decided to stay for a glass of champagne, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, filmmaker Quentin Tarantino (who will likely forget the evening in alcoholic stupor) and last but not least, a group of Nova Hibernians invited on the basis of a lottery system.

Standing beneath a gargantuan Nova Hibernian flag and portraits of Irish leftist leaders Padraig Pearse, James Connolly, Michael Collins and (for some reason) Liam Neeson; The Leader addressed those present. The text of his speech follows:

"Comrades! Since the dawn of time, Man has continued to push the bounds of the possible. First he discovered that it was a better use of faeces to use them for fertilising crops rather than hurl them at potential competition for mates... No wait, that didn't come out quite right... Let me start again."

He then drank a glass of water and continued.

"In Nova Hibernia, we recently cut funding to our space programme. This is becuase we temporarily allocated the funds to something altogether. Something far more impressive... With what you will witness tonight, your entire world shall change. With what will transpire, new technologies will be eventually discovered, and new doors opened for our people. If you would please turn to the windows..."

At this point the assembled guests turned to the massive windows of the palatial room.

"Comrades! I give you Project Lugh! The greatest technoloigical innovation ever to rise from the Hand of Man!"

The Leader threw a lever on his podium, the lights flickered slightly, and the ground began to subtly shake.

And now -- the conclusion.

RTE Itar-Tass Special Report:

The earthquakes plaguing Nova Oceania ended shortly before sunrise this morning, to the relief of many regional residents.

The gala event at Áras an Uachtaráin continued through the night, with The Leader taking his guests to a local beach to enjoy the sunrise. Nonchalantly, he picked up a stone and tossed it over his shoulder into the sea. The assembled throng of notables and newsmedia were confused when they heard the stone fall a long fashion with a whistling sound, then hit the water's surface with an uncharacteristically loud splash. The Japanese tourists in attendance approached the low-tide mark and looked down - a long way down.

"The sea level falls!" he proclaimed in broken English, "GODZILLA!"

As others in attendance quickly confirmed this suspicion, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin gazed over the side himself and announced: "No it's not mate! The sea's only ten feet deep here, tops. Nah, what we got here is... CRIKEY! The land's rising!"

The Leader then stood atop a nearby rock to address his nation:

"Comrades! I give you Project Lugh! The liberation of our great nation from the evil oppression of gravity, and one of the final steps in the freedom of our people! Throughout the night and into this morning and for a few weeks ahead of us, low-yield atomic explosives were detonated at critical points to weaken the structure by which we were held in bondage to the land! An advanced system of geothermally-powered rockets are currently lifting our great island far above Earth's surface!"

As those assembled broke into a mass of confused, but vaguely approving applause, heavily intoxicated guest Quentin Tarantino proclaimed: "F*ckin' Crocowhatsit Hunter! I'll show you!" He then shoved Crocodile Hunter Irwin over the side and into the sea more than a hundred metres below.

No one really cared.

The Leader then broke into a mass of megalomaniacal laughter.