NationStates Jolt Archive

i declare war on everybody that is not in my region in 1 hour

*rolls on the floor in laughter for 5 minutes*

wow, that's gotta be the funniest thing I've seen EVER!

Penguenia chooses to stay in the Pacafic Islands of Coke and does not accept your declairation.

http://www.digikitten.com/playhousev2/files/Raziel/Icon8.jpg
Emperor Tobias Raziel of the Holy Empire of Penguenia
Thought for the day: Innocence Proves Nothing

lol even i think this is funny :lol:

i declare war on everybody that is not in my region in 1 hour

Padmasa eagerly readies 700,000 troops and waits for the decleration.

i accept your declaration and await your attack

*snickers*

i declare war on everybody that is not in my region in 1 hour

:lol: :lol:

Ahhh, that's funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Don't make me empty my prisons into your nation :D

The Disputed Territories of Baconasia await your "declaration" with 10,000 really, really angry opera singing monkeys dressed in pink tutus armed with "Loogienator 2000" spitball grenades.

Sigh... God damn Drewster...

Oh well, since he is in my region, I'll have to apologize for his impudence...

But if anyone attacks him, I'll be waiting...

--The Omnipresent President

OOC:
The Kingdom of Drewster is a tiny, pleasant nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Its hard-nosed, hard-working population of 6 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

:lol: This is going to be good... :lol:

IC:

The Prime Minister of Kotterdam rolled his eyes at the declaration. This had to be a joke. It had to be. Someone in the typing pool had to be having a good laugh at his own expense. "The Kingdom of Drewster?" he muttered to himself. "Where the hell is the Kingdom of Drewster?"

Reaching out, he tapped the appropriate button on his desk. "Julie, get Admiral Hawksley on the horn." he ordered. "Tell him to divert CVBG-1 to prepare for preemptive operations against..." he had to check the paper. "The Kingdom of Drewster. Apparently they're declaring war."

"On us, sir?" asked the highly paid secretary.

"On everyone, Julie."

Sigh... God damn Drewster...

Oh well, since he is in my region, I'll have to apologize for his impudence...

But if anyone attacks him, I'll be waiting...

--The Omnipresent President

I believe he created his own region, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Kotterdam:
I request a joint-strike upon the Kingdom of Drewster. If approved, I will send 500,000 troops over to your territory and attack with you.

Kotterdam:
I request a joint-strike upon the Kingdom of Drewster. If approved, I will send 500,000 troops over to your territory and attack with you.

when you declare war Drewster ill be sending 1,000,000 troops into battle against you

*sends a couple of Valkyrie-class bombers to go flying over the capital city of Drewster at Mach 3, just for Laughs and Giggles*

i declare war on everybody that is not in my region in 1 hour

Despite this being the stupidest thing I have seen cross my desk today, Darkhome accepts your declaration of war, and in turn we will not resist the urge to test out our new atomic bombs on your pitiful country. We feel no remorse for your people or your refuges we will execute as enemy spies. Nor do we feel any regret for glassing (nuking) your country.

We shall name the wasteland in your honor.

Euroslavia:

It would be an honour to join forces with you in this task. Be aware, we have one Shearwater-class Battleship, one Kitty Hawk-class Aircraft Carrier, a Wasp-Class Amphibious Assault ship, four Halifax-Class frigates, four Arleigh Burke-class destroyers, two Belknap-class guided missile cruisers, four Seawolf-class attack submarines, and their attendant support craft, as well as amphibious vessels sufficient to land 4,820 infantrymen, and 1,000 Merkava Mk. V tanks to establish a beach head where we may disembark further troops.

Darkhome:

The Dominion of Kotterdam requests that you restrict your attacks against our common foe to conventional weaponry as we have troops in the theater.

thats possible,BUT IT WILL GET YOUR NATION DESTROYED!look I think you should go to a larger region.people will show you the ropes.I used to be frallhalla but I was cancelled so that explains how I know to play(thats only in some cases though)

i got a remote control 747-400 filled to max takeoff capacity with C4......someone let me know when its ok to drive this thing into his capitol building

I will increase the amount of troops that I am sending to 1 million to counter East LA.

East LA: I strongly suggest that you step aside, i have no conflict with you, only with the kingdom of Drewster.

"Mr. President, another low-IQ national leader has issued a useless ultimatum to the world. What shall we do?"

"Give their leader a suicide pill."

"Very well."

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/norfolk_island--54.jpg
The Free Republic of New Genoa

i declare war on everybody that is not in my region in 1 hour

"Captain, we've got another warmongering nation that isn't even in the double digits."
"Arm the S(uper) M(ega) I(gnore) T(echnology) E(radication) D(evice)."
"SMITED cannon armed sir!"
"Fire!"

A gigantic hammer appears in the sky over the offending country and smashes it flat, forever removing the annoyance.

There is no need for such violence... I'm sure that it was only a joke... what could his tiny country possibly do? Please refrain from attacking the 6 million person nation! Its not their fault they're fools...

*SAWand60 Artillery base*
"Set fire coordinates for Drewster"

"Yes sir, how many cannons should i ready"

"Just one, i want a full salvo from the IGNORE cannon to fire on my command"

10seconds later

"Sir, IGNORE Cannon manned and ready to fire in all respects"

"Very well, standby to fire"

"Sir standing by"

"FIRE the IGNORE cannon"

*IGNORE CANNON FIRED*

BTW Drewster, dont try to attack me

There is no need for such violence... I'm sure that it was only a joke... what could his tiny country possibly do? Please refrain from attacking the 6 million person nation! Its not their fault they're fools...
This is just natural selection on a national scale... The stupid ones die out.

you know nobody can actully tell you what to do.if some guy said you couldn't attack him cause he wanted to win.you'd still attack him.

Euroslavia:

It would be an honour to join forces with you in this task. Be aware, we have one Shearwater-class Battleship, one Kitty Hawk-class Aircraft Carrier, a Wasp-Class Amphibious Assault ship, four Halifax-Class frigates, four Arleigh Burke-class destroyers, two Belknap-class guided missile cruisers, four Seawolf-class attack submarines, and their attendant support craft, as well as amphibious vessels sufficient to land 4,820 infantrymen, and 1,000 Merkava Mk. V tanks to establish a beach head where we may disembark further troops.

Darkhome:

The Dominion of Kotterdam requests that you restrict your attacks against our common foe to conventional weaponry as we have troops in the theater.

You do know how to ruin a good weapon testing. Although, my Scientists have been wanting to test out some new robotic soldier they have built. Something about the "future of warfare" but hey whatever floats your boat.

"Scrap the launch of the A-705 Nuke! We will have to wait to test it on another area."

You do know how to ruin a good weapon testing. Although, my Scientists have been wanting to test out some new robotic soldier they have built. Something about the "future of warfare" but hey whatever floats your boat.

"Scrap the launch of the A-705 Nuke! We will have to wait to test it on another area."

Actually, I'm more worried about what sinks my boat, but anyway...

"Although we are typically a peaceful nation unless provoked, sitting around watching monkeys S**t on the various turrets is really starting to get on my nerves." mutters the Great and Powerful Auz.

"Moniepennie, get up her now!" he yells slamming his finger down on the intercom. "Contacted our Minister of Defense and tell him I want to convene an emergency council meeting. I don't take kindly to threats from low level sub-cultured Nations."

Auz paces the floor thinking about how he can convene the complacent council.

*fires I.G.N.O.R.E. cannon*

Telescript of President Jonathan Tanner address to Marno:

"Good evening. As some of you may have heard, the Kingdom of Dewster declared war against the world a few hours ago. After reading the current intelligence that we had and talking to current military leaders...we have come to the conclusion that swift military action is necessary. I have already issued orders to our troops and moved our national defense to Defcondition One, our highest alert.

After careful study and talk to our neighbors, The Dictatorship of Darkhome and The Armed Nation of New Rhodes 3. We have already launched a light pre-emptive strike against Dewster. We have sent in three complete flights of our EB-52 Heavy Strike Bombers escorted by Alpha Wing, they are S-37 outfitted for air-to-air/air-to-ground suppression. We are also calling up our Army and Marine reserves to help in a multi-nation assault on Dewster. The 2nd and 5th fleet has already set sail from their current stations an dare making full steam to join up with existing forces. The 1st and 3rd fleet will be setting sail with-in the next week.

I wish for a quick end to this conflict and well wishes for our men and women. Thank you, and good night."

Reading his orders over one more time, the captain rose from his seat in his stateroom aboard the DKS Xenophon. Making his way lesiurely to the bridge.

"I have the conn. Chief, put me on the 1MC." he ordered. "All hands, this is the Captain. We have just recieved orders from fleet command to initiate operations against the Kingdom of Drewster. We will commence bombardment with our Tomahawk missile armament in conjunction with the task force's submarines and flights from our aircraft carrier, the DKS Thermopylae in support of Marno's airstrike. We will be targeting air defence sites primarily. After the initial bombardment, we will move in-shore to provide cannon bombardment if neccesary. That is all." Lowering the microphone, he turned to the XO. "Sound General Quarters. Select targets and commence firing when ready."

http://www.richmondyl.org/photo_gallery/club/RHS/02-03%20RHS/guys%20laughing%20(2).jpg Everyone in the nation broke out laughing to day after watching the three aclock news

Adornian Space Station, New Hope

"Standby all drop pods!"
"Aye sir, drop pods on standby."
"Launch on my mark..."
"Ready to drop on your mark, sir."
"3...2...1...mark!"

With a faint 'woosh' twenty drop pods, each containing a platoon of Adornia's 3rd Space Division and four Walker M-1s, split from the station and began a dive into the atmosphere, glowing faintly with friction.

Please for the sake of the children, please don't do this! Think about all of those innocent lives that will be thrown away needlessly if you force the military might of these larger nations.

Its not worth the death and destruction that evil empires such as Darkhome or Marno would bring about. Darkhome's leader is known for slaughtering anyone who opposes his rule thats why he is a Dictator.

In that case, Adornia will be happy to stop Darkhome from slaughtering everything.

In that case, Adornia will be happy to stop Darkhome from slaughtering everything.

Don't get in my way.


As far as Doomsaberland's responce.
How dare you question my judgement. Just because you allow your people to roam freely like sheep won't affect how I use my forces, nor will it stop me from using prisoners to test new medications on. Not my fault they comit crimes. You would have them running back unto the streets where they would cause more problems. Evil, hardly I am just right.

Knowing full well that I am likely ruining your fun, I, Prime Minister Haley, would like to call upon the Dictatorship of Darkhome to refrain from slaughtering civilians. While what you do with the leadership of the Kingdom of Drewster if... No, when they are captured is up to you. While we would not declare you an enemy, indiscriminate slaughter would not win you any friends. Consider the value of having us as a friend beyond the scope of this conflict.

- Prime Minister Scott Haley

Egil Smiled as he read the Declaration and called his High Commander in to the planning room. They studied the Intel Reports and the Battle map and after re-reading the reports Egil chuckled to himself and told the High Commander "this would be an Excellent chance to test our newly outfitted Commandos, send in 5 teams" the High commander nodded in agreement and asked if there were any special orders Egil wanted to give the troops
"kill everyone that is a citizen of drewster those those who surrender bring back so we can test some of our new genetic theories on them

i declare war on everybody that is not in my region in 1 hour

I am aiming 5 Nuclear missiles at you. Your call. Can they join your region?

I guess no one joined drewster's region. He's still the only one there. The National motto should be changed from "Drew Rocks" to "Drew Sucks"

OOC: Does anyone know if an entire nation be nominated for a Darwin Award?

OOC: Does anyone know if an entire nation be nominated for a Darwin Award? :lol:

Good luck in that war..

watch it. you've almost killed my president from laughter. you might provoke our military :lol:

I will increase the amount of troops that I am sending to 1 million to counter East LA.

East LA: I strongly suggest that you step aside, i have no conflict with you, only with the kingdom of Drewster.

OOC:Im sorry that u misunderstood my post but if you reread it you will notice that im AIDING you

100,000 troops assembled and were standing by to counter this declaration of war. before they had even recieved the call 5 transport helicopters of commandos was on the way to drewsters capitol as they crossed the border the helicopters dropped down to map of the earth there was suprisingly little air defense from a nation who declared war on the world. within an hour the 50 commandos has secured the airport and were the only living people within it. they sent a transmition to their HQ notifying them that Drewster international Airport was secured and ready to accept troops.

As soon as the transmission came in the Viking soldiers boarded the transport jets and were on their way to Drewster

Knowing full well that I am likely ruining your fun, I, Prime Minister Haley, would like to call upon the Dictatorship of Darkhome to refrain from slaughtering civilians. While what you do with the leadership of the Kingdom of Drewster if... No, when they are captured is up to you. While we would not declare you an enemy, indiscriminate slaughter would not win you any friends. Consider the value of having us as a friend beyond the scope of this conflict.

- Prime Minister Scott Haley

As you wish. We will wait until, no when we have their troops in our hands. It would be helpful to our medical testing. Besides it would be fun to see where the gentic lines went wrong with this nation.

OOC: Drewster, get ready to be conquered buddy... :wink:

IC:
Breaking News:

"A newly formed nation has declared war on ALL nations here in NS if they will not immediately transfer to his region within 1 hour...ummm, oh yeah, another one, some senior advisors of the emperor had been taken the nearest hospital to be treated because of coughing due to massive laughter at this dumb statement...fortunately, the doctors declared that they are already safe and sound...oh, yeah, here is the official statement of the emperor:"

"More 'dumb' NOOBIES + more STUPID wars=more land to be conquered= a happy Empire of Darkstar bwahahahahahaha!!!!! :lol: roar!!!!! bwehahahaha!!!" :lol:

"As additionally stated, if the said nation(Drewster) continues with his stupid NOOBIEDITY then our Empire will happily oblige to bring death and destruction to his nation within 1 hour...good day to all!!!" :lol:

LOL declare war on me

*reads and sends one inept scout to take care of it*

"should be enough, don't you think?"

The order is passed down: The invasion is on. Immediately, the amphibious landing crafts put off from their vessels. Meanwhile, the DKS Xenophon slid in closer to the shoreline, allowing her to bring her eighteen-inch rifles into play. The quick firing guns would lay down a vicious barrage of fire against any forces arrayed to oppose the landing.

Meanwhile, air operations shifted into a dominance mode, with F-72 Broadswords taking on air-to-air weapons loads and engaging anything that could possibly pose a threat to the Armed Forces of the Dominion of Kotterdam. AV-19 Lightning II Close Air Support Fighters take on full vertical take-off loads and range across the target country, searching for any and all targets of opportunity. F/A-18E Super Hornets rocket off the deck of the carrier, seeking out and attacking air defense stations and airbases.

*assembles private corporate armies to send backdoor Trojan into Drewster's tech weapons*

OOC: (so I'm not very good at this, so sue me)

The Mad Celt
Private Secretary and Last Gunslinger
to Our Most Amused
Dominar Rygel XXIII

I have a flight of 24 B-2s in the air with ALCMs (*note these are conventional NON-nuclear warheads). 24 Bombers X 16ALCMs each = 384 missiles that can be launched in a single strike, that should do most every major military target he posesses without the use of MSG-7 (Missile Ship Group 7) which has 20 missile cruisers with over 100 GLCMs each. MSG-7 also has the capability to reattach W-80 nuclear warheads on the cruise missiles but i will not order that unless i am hit with a WMD first. My planes will be in firing range in just over 1 hour RT, i have alerted tanker support, and i have several friendly nations allowing me the use of their airspace to get my birds to Drewster faster. I will not launch a pre-emptive strike but if he does not back down from his current course i will have no alternative.

Sultan Benny Ray Riddle

*reads and sends one inept scout to take care of it*

"should be enough, don't you think?"

Be fair! Arm the lad with a sling shot. I doubt the fools of this land can muster more than an armored go cart to defend the leader.

*Inside the Magistrate's chamber*

"Sir?" The same tiny-voiced secretary said into the dark room of Virgil Devol.

"What is it now, Miss Copeland? Is it another one of your reports on a civilian uprising?"

"No, sir. Apparently, someone called... Drewster has declared a war on the world." When she said this, she cracked a grin.

"Sounds interesting." Virgil spun around in his office chair, and put down his late night reading: The Art of Deception by Kevin Mitnick. "Any specific reason why?"

"Absolutely none, sir."

Virgil pressed down on the call-box to the war room, and General Whitaker's voice came on. "Yes, sir?"

"Do me a favor, Whitaker. Send 1 ICBM to Drewster's capital, unleash anthrax on his beaches, send a couple TU-180s to take out some fuel depots, test out that new incendiary you developed in the labs on their second largest city, mine their waters, and send 1st, 3rd, and 6th armored divisions and 1st, 3rd, and 4th infantry divisions, and just make sure that their leader gets my message, if you know what I mean."

"Yes sir..."

***

In a few minutes, the first Pergatorian tactical bomber squad flew over a fuel depot, dropping their explosives. A second and third wave made sure to finish off the infrastructure. After the 3 bomber waves, a fourth squad flew overhead, dropping down leaflets. The paper read "IGNORED."

*reads and sends one inept scout to take care of it*

"should be enough, don't you think?"

Be fair! Arm the lad with a sling shot. I doubt the fools of this land can muster more than an armored go cart to defend the leader.

We could send Mr. Bobo the Wonder Chimp along with you. He's extremely skilled with the "Loogienator 2000." And he can ride a tricylcle. A big one. Or, we can arm him with the "Loogatronix Deluxe" lung-to-air missile. We'd be willing to arm your scout with the same, if he wants.

[OOC: I'm being completely out of character by being silly like this. But, Mr. Drewster brought it upon himself with his completely ludicrous declaration. LOL]

Eastern LA forces are withdrawing their military influence from this war because we have interest in other places.

OOC: good luck Drewster U WILL NEED IT!

The EB-52's and S-37's came across Dewsters Northern Border. The EB-52's radar and commutations jamming gear fully active....but with so very little to jam, the pilots were getting confused. The broke off into their three hunting groups.

The spear head of the flight changed course to hit the capital city in a "Shock and Aww" style run. The main targets being TV stations, command and control, the power grid, and political targets. The bombers made sure not to hit the National Airport, which was not a problem with their advanced targeting systems. What few defending aircraft that managed to make it skyward to engage the bombers where swiftly cut to ribbons by the S-37's. It didn't seem like a very fair fight.

The northern crews hit power stations, radar and sam sites, air field and targets of opportunity. With such little operation coming up, the S-37's were redirected to provide top-cover for The Confederacy of Viking Peoples troop transports. The EB's did get one aggressor that wanted to come up and play after the S-37's left. The enemy pilot must not have been able to tell the difference between the EB-52 and the B-52. He came in close enough for him to get a lock-on one of the bombers. Before he knew what had hit him, two pod launched AIM-9 Sidewinder missiles hit him from the front.

The southern attack force cleaned the beaches and surrounding area of Dewster. On their swing back to the north, they made a pass at any remaining targets of opportunity in the south and in the capitol city. The world wide news stations were not hit in the capitol showed the "Shock and Aw" first hand world wide. It might have been something seen before, but the high accuracy and low 'collateral damage' was something only seen from orbital weapons not airdropped.

Ooc: Ok, this is funny.
IC: Major Dof: Sir, Someone has just declared war on us and basically everyone else in the world. What do you want to do?

Sir Addamous: (Rolls on the ground in laughter) Send in the news reporters and have them tape this. Maybe make it into a comedy. This is goning to go into the funniest video vault.

:D :D :D :D Why not just send in a sqad of special ops to take out their leaders who are barking mad and liberate the region from a megalomaniac tinpot dictator? If not then could we test our new neutron bomb on the place :D :D :D :D

Un Delegate President Hoppy