NationStates Jolt Archive


Just for laughs...

Autonomous City-states
19-09-2003, 04:25
To: The Federation of Autonomous City-states
From: The Constitutional Monarchy of Rastizir
Received: 48 minutes ago

"I tire of your horrible nation. I am declaring war on your pitiful country!"

I would like for everyone to please note:
The Constitutional Monarchy of Rastizir is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 5 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government concentrates mainly on Religion & Spirituality, although Commerce and Social Welfare are secondary priorities. The average income tax rate is 23%, but much higher for the wealthy. A substantial private sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, followed by Basket Weaving and Beef-Based Agriculture.

Crime is a problem, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Rastizir's national animal is the cuala bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the yate.
19-09-2003, 04:26
I wonder who will win.
Omz222
19-09-2003, 04:27
Let's see what he will do next.

I'm not suprised.
19-09-2003, 04:27
I needed to laugh. Tnx.
19-09-2003, 04:27
My bet is on Rastizir all the way! Ohhhh yes indeed-y.
Langham
19-09-2003, 04:28
LOL!!! :lol: Thanks, I needed that laugh badly.
Omz222
19-09-2003, 04:29
My bet is definately on the n00bie, since he will probably fire 234872047230482304829480238402398438 3290482390482390482309482-gigaton n00ks, sending 2835729878923472397423894829472398 Army troops, 2374280742894723742472874 batle tanks, and 234249023849038439084239489023 bombers to ACS.

No doubt.
19-09-2003, 04:29
Official response to this declaration of war on your fine nation:

*five minutes of laughter from the Duke and his staff followed by random jokes about what a "cuala" is*

http://www.fast-rewind.com/esc-ny1.jpg
"The Duke"
Snake Plissken
The Armed Republic of The Prison City
Autonomous City-states
19-09-2003, 04:29
*chuckles*
19-09-2003, 04:30
My bet is definately on the n00bie, since he will probably fire 234872047230482304829480238402398438 3290482390482390482309482-gigaton n00ks, sending 2835729878923472397423894829472398 Army troops, 2374280742894723742472874 batle tanks, and 234249023849038439084239489023 bombers to ACS.

No doubt.

Don't forget being able to nullify every single offensive attack that is ever placed on him with his 9892834923 satellites and defense systems. In retrospect, my number seems small compared to all of those. Hm...think I'm overestimating his maturity?
Blamgolia
19-09-2003, 04:31
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

I am sorry, but that guy is going to get OWNED!! If his nation is that stupid, they deserve whatever happens to them.

Mind if we have some F-22's and MiG-31's take pics?
19-09-2003, 04:32
I'd pay well for a nice picture of the nation being blown into tiny pieces. Hell, I might even buy a piece of the country. The Alcardian Senate Chamber is always looking for colorful pictures to spruce up the walls.
Omz222
19-09-2003, 04:33
Official Statement

Our leaders spatted out their coffee on important documents, while hearing and laughing hard about the news. A senior cadre was sent to a clinic for choking while laughing when drinking a cup of hot tea.

We would require Rastizir to pay $1USD for the papers damaged, and $100USD for the medical fee.

Foreign Affairs Ministry
Autonomous City-states
19-09-2003, 04:33
I responded to that message with a message saying that I didn't even know who he was until I got that "threat" and asked him to consider that my nation is at least an order of magnitude larger than his in population, military, and economy. As of now... no reply. :)
Langham
19-09-2003, 04:33
Official Statement

Our leaders spatted out their coffee on important documents, while hearing and laughing hard about the news. A senior cadre was sent to a clinic for choking while laughing when drinking a cup of hot tea.

We would require Rastizir to pay $1USD for the papers damaged, and $100USD for the medical fee.

Foreign Affairs Ministry :lol:
19-09-2003, 04:34
Run for your lives a giant cuala bear is after us. *screaming*
19-09-2003, 04:34
I responded to that message with a message saying that I didn't even know who he was until I got that "threat" and asked him to consider that my nation is at least an order of magnitude larger than his in population, military, and economy. As of now... no reply. :)

I'd take that lack of reply to mean he is ignoring you and preparing his 8349823764287348234.5 weapons for war! We must move fast. Oh, what am I talking about, I've only got 9 million. I wish I wouldn't have abandoned old 1.8 Billion-strong Alcardia sometimes.
The Eastern Bloc
19-09-2003, 04:38
Well... personally I think you should surrender immedietly. He has power beyond your wildest dreams. hes in "The Alliance" "NATO " "ART" "HQUZ" "NEWAKR" "TURD" and of course... the most powerful alliance... "N00B"
Blamgolia
19-09-2003, 04:40
I myself also have a population of over 1 billion. If he decides to get cheap, we will be glad to help deal with him. Also, we wish to take pictures of his country as it becomes a glass-bottomed lake.
Autonomous City-states
19-09-2003, 04:44
Run for your lives a giant cuala bear is after us. *screaming*

Aaaaahhhhh!
Langham
19-09-2003, 04:46
Run for your lives a giant cuala bear is after us. *screaming*Don't worry, I will save everyone.
*throws a rock at the cuala*
I WIN!!!
19-09-2003, 04:54
Run for your lives a giant cuala bear is after us. *screaming*Don't worry, I will save everyone.
*throws a rock at the cuala*
I WIN!!!

*The cuala gets back up*
*It jump off a 100 stories building and hits the gound hard*

Dude: "The poor gound."
19-09-2003, 04:58
so rastizir is an environmentally stunning nation huh? well, my nation has long collected, experimented and modified the BIRD DROPPINGS canisters among with our deadly PISS craps...this one's for him autonomus city states :wink:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"A new nation has sprouted with a dumb attitude sir!!!"
"Well colonel, you know our procedure for that...execute it now!!!"
"You mean the PISS craps and BIRD DROPPINGS bombs sir? but they're too deadly sir!!!"
"It's okay, let them smell like Equatorios, it's good enough for them"
"Yes sir!!!"
Langham
19-09-2003, 05:00
Run for your lives a giant cuala bear is after us. *screaming*Don't worry, I will save everyone.
*throws a rock at the cuala*
I WIN!!!

*The cuala gets back up*
*It jump off a 100 stories building and hits the gound hard*

Dude: "The poor gound."WHO'S UP FOR BARBECUED CUALA!?!
19-09-2003, 05:02
Run for your lives a giant cuala bear is after us. *screaming*Don't worry, I will save everyone.
*throws a rock at the cuala*
I WIN!!!

*The cuala gets back up*
*It jump off a 100 stories building and hits the gound hard*

Dude: "The poor gound."WHO'S UP FOR BARBECUED CUALA!?!

I'll bring the Alcardian Barbeque Sauce, you find me more Cualas. We're going to need a lot of them to feed all of the soldiers that may soon be occupying that poor nation.
Langham
19-09-2003, 05:03
*goes hunting for cualas*
19-09-2003, 05:04
*goes hunting for cualas*

Is it Cuala season already? My how time flies when you're humiliating and degrading a nation.
19-09-2003, 05:04
*goes hunting for cualas*

*Goes hunting for more cualas with Langham*
Langham
19-09-2003, 05:04
*goes hunting for cualas*

Is it Cuala season already? My how time flies when you're humiliating and degrading a nation.Sure is, posters are everywhere.
19-09-2003, 05:14
"colonel, stop the attack immediately!!!"
"why sir?!"
"cuala season has just open!!!n I feel the urge to hunt for one!!!"
"But sir isn't cuala a koala?"
"No shit sherlock, what are you trying to point out?!"
"umm, they're just trying to sell aroasted cuala sir..."
"Oh really, is it safe?!"
"i dunno sir, it just came from a NOOB type nation sir..."
"Oh well, buy one immediately!!!"
"yes sir!!!"

SO HOW MUCH IS THAT BARBECUED CUALA? :lol:
Langham
19-09-2003, 05:16
Free :D
19-09-2003, 05:17
"colonel, stop the attack immediately!!!"
"why sir?!"
"cuala season has just open!!!n I feel the urge to hunt for one!!!"
"But sir isn't cuala a koala?"
"No shit sherlock, what are you trying to point out?!"
"umm, they're just trying to sell aroasted cuala sir..."
"Oh really, is it safe?!"
"i dunno sir, it just came from a NOOB type nation sir..."
"Oh well, buy one immediately!!!"
"yes sir!!!"

SO HOW MUCH IS THAT BARBECUED CUALA? :lol:

I say free.
19-09-2003, 05:25
---thanks guys!!!---

"Hmm, yummy, for a NOOB nation, they make this really good!!!"
"colonel!!!"
"yes sir?!"
"assist Langham and others on hunting this cuala!!!"
"sir?!"
"something this good must not exist and be eradicated fromt the face of the earth!!!"
"but sir, no more cuala food feast for you sir?"
"Huh?! oh well, need some workout anyway...but stilll hmmm, yummy...burp...ahhhhhhh, it's good!!!"
"Yes sir"

need some nukes for that cuala thingy?
Langham
19-09-2003, 05:27
---thanks guys!!!---

"Hmm, yummy, for a NOOB nation, they make this really good!!!"
"colonel!!!"
"yes sir?!"
"assist Langham and others on hunting this cuala!!!"
"sir?!"
"something this good must not exist and be eradicated fromt the face of the earth!!!"
"but sir, no more cuala food feast for you sir?"
"Huh?! oh well, need some workout anyway...but stilll hmmm, yummy...burp...ahhhhhhh, it's good!!!"
"Yes sir"

need some nukes for that cuala thingy?Maybe later, we're already in the n00b's borders and it's getting pretty sporty out here. Oh there's one.
*sounds of shooting ensues*
Ooh, I got a big one.