NationStates Jolt Archive

The arms and troops paraded before the Presidential Stand on the hot afternoon day. At the end of the Parade, Illosef Stalin, Secretary General of the United Socialist States of Whittier, defender of the right to life stood and took the podium to give the federal government's victory speech.
Fellow socialists of the world, fellow Whittierites, today is a historic occasion. A week ago, we were fighting the world's first shooting war over the issue of abortion. Today, I can stand here and say to you that the evil forces of those who supported abortion have been defeated and abortion is finally illegal throughout the land.
Our enemies killed hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians all in the name of defending the right to kill babies.
Those who supported this cause have been charged, tried and thrown in prison. Tomorrow, those who participated in genocide against prolifers, will be publicly mass executed.
Whittier is a great nation. We have never needed assistance from anyone before. Indeed Whittier has at times taken on the whole world in defense of the national soveriegnty of smaller and weaker nations.
We are a world superpower. However, this terrible civil war has sapped us of our economic vitality, our resources, and the moral of our people.
While we are great nation, we are in need of loans to rebuild our nation and reconcile our people back into one. We are, for the first time in history, in need of foreign aid.
For those who fear a ressurection of the Whittier Pact, the other members made their decision. It is too late for them to change minds and say we want back in the pact cause we have pissed some people off. For them, the Pact is history. I have no intention of ressurecting the Whittier Pact.
My people we have a long way to go in achieving reconciliation and rebuilding our nation back to its former greatness as a world pow......

As the world watches on TV Stalins words are interrupted by a fusilade of gunshots. Stalin is down. Shots are being exchanged between Stalins bodyguards and two gunmen.
One jumps to the podium and stabs the Secretary General in the Jugular, jumps up and screams "Death to the tyrants. Death to all who oppose abortion."
He jumps of the stage and runs down the street with security forces in hot pursuit.

NSNNews:

If you are joining us just now, we have just seen two men jump on stage at the Victory Parade in Whittier and attack the Secratary General of the USS of Whittier. Stalin has been medevaced to Whittier Community Hospital's emergency ward where he is being treated for injuries which authorities have described as life threatening.
Meantime, national police forces and executive branch security agents are pursuing the attackers.
The head doctor of Whittier Community is about to speak, we go there live for an update on the Secretary General's condition.
Dr. Stravinsky: Today, at 12:48 pm the 17th day of september, Illosef Stalin, Secretary General of the United Socialist States of Whittier, passed away from gunshot wounds to the head, heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, and a deep knife wound to the jugular. At his passing, Stalin was 35.
The death has officially been ruled an assassination. That is all I can tell you for now, until the government grants permission for the release of more information.

You assassinated a dead guy? Oh, how skillful...

The United States extends its deepest sympathies to the people of Whittier. The whole world feels this loss. Stalin was a man of peace who defended his principles. He was the most peaceful of all Whittierite leaders signing treaties and agreements even with nations whom Whittier had had very long hostile relationships with. He was also the first Whittier leader to advocate peaceful settlement of international disputes and was very proactive is withdrawing Whittier forces from Europe, the moon, and elsewhere. We note he was also the first Whittier leader to accept that other nations had the right determine their own futures. A man who fought for the right of children to live. For the freedom of nonhuman sentients.
Stalin will be missed in this world. It is our hope that the evil terrorists that committed this vile will be caught and justice meted out.
We are calling on Whittier to stay on the path to which Stalin has committed them. The path of peace.

You assassinated a dead guy? Oh, how skillful...

You must be confusing Illosef Stalin with his great great grandad, Joseph Stalin.

*singing*
I shot the sherrif, but I did not shoot your le-eader!
*singing*

You assassinated a dead guy? Oh, how skillful...

The undertakers of brittanic states dont know wether to be amused or appalled by this new tendency to assasinate the dead- although since one of the gunmen "stabbed stalin in the jugular" when you would think he would have preferred to use his gun to , oh I dont know- shoot stalin for example.
It appears the bungling dead dictator killers forgot to ensure the benny hill theme was playing whilst they perpetrated their grisly murder of the dead but nonetheless we will be bringing you updates on this story when we have more information.
--------------Ran Dather BS news

if it was us, we would have killed his dog, too....

Shing-lo's last comment has sparked a massive animal rights protest in the heart of his country.

Gotta be carful what you say, that dog is our best source inside the regime.

National Police report they have chased the assasins to the airport where they jumped on a small plane that taxiing down the runway.
Airforce fighters have been dispatched but were forced to break off pursuit due to the criminals entering international airspace.

whittier requests the cooperation of the international community in the apprehension of these terrorist assassins.
But we also warn the world that any one attempting to harbor them, will find themselves at war.

Shing-lo's last comment has sparked a massive animal rights protest in the heart of his country.

Gotta be carful what you say, that dog is our best source inside the regime.

Stalin was a democratic and was turning Whittier into a capitalist democracy. This is probably why he was assassinated.

In more news it appears the benny hillesque assasins have in fact killed the great great grandson of the dead dictator Stalin- does this mean that Joe Stalin is still dead?
Or where the assasins in fact performing a ritual to resurrect Josef Stalin through the sacrifice of Illosef Stalin?
Will a terrifying zombie josef stalin now bring terror to nation states?

-----Ran Dather BS news

Kyrgyz expresses her deepest regrets and sympathies towards Whittier and her population for your horrible loss. If Whittier needs anything (I put that lightly) please telegram us...we are always sympathetic toward pro-communist nations/states/countries.
Premier Solomon Kossoff, the People's Republic of Kyrgyz

Whittier is an evil empire that has betrayed the communist world.
The public execution of Stalin was justified. Therefore, we have granted asylum to the brave heros who have justifiably killed a capitalist pig.