NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm for sale.

The password shall go the the leader of the first nation to impress me with his/her wit.

I'm for sale.

The password shall go the the leader of the first nation to impress me with his/her wit.ummmmmm, let me get this straight, your going to give your nation to whoever impresses you the most with their intellect?( :roll: )

I'm for sale.

The password shall go the the leader of the first nation to impress me with his/her wit.*AHEM*
There once was a man from Nantucket...
No, that won't work, uhhh...
Can we get a definition of "wit", please? And while you're at it, can you define "is"?
I'm just glad SLAG's no there...

OOC: If you are after jokes -


A tramp walks into a pub. The barman says "Sorry mate, we don't serve tramps in here". The tramp says "Thats alright, i just want a cocktail stick." The barman gives him a cocktail stick, and the tramp goes away.

About five minutes later, another tramp walks in, and the barman again says "Sorry mate, we don't serve tramps here". The tramp says "Thats alright, i just want a cocktail stick." The barman gives him a cocktail stick, and the tramp goes away.

Another five minutes later, a third tramp walks in. Once more, the barman says "Sorry mate, we don't serve tramps in here." The tramp says "Thats alright, i just want a straw" The barman gives him a straw and asks "Hang on a second, two tramps came in and asked for cocktail sticks, and now you came in and asked for a straw. Whats going on?"

The tramp turns around and says "Someone threw up outside, and the last two got the best bits"

What the hell? You crazy little lad, are you not seriously selling away a nation to the most intellectual. I see well I guess that is perfectly cheery so you go along and choose young and inexperienced one.

I'll give you a cookie laced with powerful laxitives...take it or leave it.
http://www.chipndough.com/Images/3_12_01/large/PBCC_lg.jpg

You will be fangouriously devouwered if you don't give me your nation.
damnispelledthosecoolwordswrong

You will be fangouriously devouwered if you don't give me your nation.
damnispelledthosecoolwordswrongo.......................................................k

You're insulting my speling (spelled wrong on purpose)

I'm for sale.

The password shall go the the leader of the first nation to impress me with his/her wit.

so... are you a hooker or what?

0 is even.every number thats a factor of 2 is even and every number that ends with a 0 is even because thier all a factor of 2.

You're insulting my speling (spelled wrong on purpose)i know you spelt them wrong on purpose.

I'm for sale.

The password shall go the the leader of the first nation to impress me with his/her wit.

so... are you a hooker or what?

I got a cheery little stitch in my side after reading your very thoughtfilled answer.

If a burro is a mule, isn't a burrito a little mule?

Well, it would explain the taste...

E-MC squared.

According to Catholics, God is a Mormon!

No disrespect to Him, but he has about 5,000 wives. How is this, you ask? Well, it all begins with another sect of Christianity, namely the Catholics. When a woman becomes a Catholic nun, she must marry the holy trinity (father, son, and the Holy Spirit), and thus abstain from sex for the rest of her life, lest she cheat on God and break the 7th Commandment: Thou shalt not commit adultery. This means that God, Jesus, and the divine presence in all things have a great deal of wives, and as God is infallible, this must mean that bigamy is acceptable. So there you have it.

0 is even.every number thats a factor of 2 is even and every number that ends with a 0 is even because thier all a factor of 2.

The fact that you do not know the difference between "they're" and "their" disqualifies you. Furthermore you did not even spell "their" correctly.

Mcleod, while I usually don't like formulaic jokes, yours was quite amusing. You are in the lead, but not yet the winner.

Bloody 'ell ladie tis your NS nation worth little more that Aluminium. You aren't even vending your nation for cash. We have a strange one, yes we do

i agree. this person must have nothing else to do in their lives but make stupid posts like this. i for one, think this is very childish and uncalled for. anyone agree?

OOC:like number jokes?


IC: There are 10 types of people. Those Who understand binary, and those who dont.

i agree. this person must have nothing else to do in their lives but make stupid posts like this. i for one, think this is very childish and uncalled for. anyone agree?

So you think your opinion is not valid unless you can get support from your peers? What are you 12?

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the contest is not yet over! The winner shall be chosen at exactly 10 p.m eastern time :)

i agree. this person must have nothing else to do in their lives but make stupid posts like this. i for one, think this is very childish and uncalled for. anyone agree?

So you think your opinion is not valid unless you can get support from your peers? What are you 12?

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the contest is not yet over! The winner shall be chosen at exactly 10 p.m eastern time :)no, i was simply asking if anyone agreed with me. i could have cared less what anyone else thought.

So there were these two guys standing on the edge of a cliff. The first one says, "You know, the wind looks pretty strong down there. I bet if I jumped off, it would blow me right back up here."
"You're on," says the other guy. So the first guy jumps off, and, to the second guy's amazement, sails right back up to the ledge. "Do that again!" says #2. So the first guy jumps off again, and sails right back up to the top of the cliff. "That's great!" says the second guy, "Let me try it!" He jumps off, and falls to his death.
Two other men were watching the action from below. One of them turns to the other and says, "Man, Superman can be such an asshole when he's drunk."

So there were these two guys standing on the edge of a cliff. The first one says, "You know, the wind looks pretty strong down there. I bet if I jumped off, it would blow me right back up here."
"You're on," says the other guy. So the first guy jumps off, and, to the second guy's amazement, sails right back up to the ledge. "Do that again!" says #2. So the first guy jumps off again, and sails right back up to the top of the cliff. "That's great!" says the second guy, "Let me try it!" He jumps off, and falls to his death.
Two other men were watching the action from below. One of them turns to the other and says, "Man, Superman can be such an asshole when he's drunk."good one!

Three guys walked into a bar. You would have thought the third one would have ducked. :D

Hold on, I'm going to go cut and paste some jokes from a website too. Oh wait, I know a timesaver. The imbeciles of the world will soon be emailing the funny joke that I've already deleted 50 times, and that in turn will make me invade some noob nation in a furious meltdown because no, I haven't seen that little girl who disappeared, but really didn't yet she still tortures me because mindless buffoons can't use snopes before saving the freaking world.

Anyways, back on topic, are you looking for original wit, or the stolen material because working in the corporate world has taught me that only the fiercest ass kissers, who happen to golf poorly, get ahead in the world, and that cubicles are worse than hog confinements because those freaking pigs just get to sit around eating all day and get fat... err, never mind, they are the same thing, it' just the pigs aren't able to sneak internet access, unlucky SOB's.

Ooooh, I got one, and it's good this time!

A man is driving his car in the middle of the desert, going a good thrity miles over the speed limit. A cop spots him and pulls him over. "Can I see your license and registration?" the officer asks.
"Sure, officer," the man replies, "it's in the glove compartment right next to my gun."
The officer is taken aback by this, and right as he is about to reply, the man interrupts him, "Well, that's where my license is, but I'm not sure about the regestration."
"You mean the car's not registered?" the officer asks, a little nervous.
"Well, see, I stole it from this old lady, and her dead body's in the trunk. I guess she might be carrying it in her wallet, if you want to search her."
"No... that's quite alright. Excuse me for a second."
The officer heads back to his squad car and radios for backup. Within minutes, everyone from the local police to the state troopers have quartered off the area. The head of the state's police department approaches the vehicle.
"Hello, sir," the police cheif says, "Can I see your license and registration?"
"Sure," the man replies, "Just let me get it out of the glove compartment..."
"Whoa whoa whoa!" the cheif says, backing up, "don't you have a gun in there?"
"No!" says the man, looking insulted, while he opened up the glove compartment and took out his license and registration, "Where'd you ever get that idea?"
"Well," the cheif begins motioning towards the original officer, "this man said you told him you had a gun in your glove compartment, and the body of a dead old lady in the back!"
"Pfft, yeah right," says the man, "and I suppose he told you I was speeding, too."

hee hee! good one resi!

Well I've given it some thought.

I did enjoy the "classical" jokes that many people posted, however since they weren't actually written (correct me if I'm wrong) by the poster I can't consider that true wit.

However, asking me if I was a hooker was pure comedic genius seeing as how I worded the initial prompt, therefore...

THE NATION OF STEV-O IS NOW PROPERTY OF SHING Lo!

ALL RIGHT!!

ALL RIGHT!!

I hope everything is in order with your new nation, congratulations on the victory.

(Former owner of Stev-o)

They're three types of people:

The "Glass Is Half Full" people

The Glass Is Half empty" People

And the "Who the Hell Has Been Drinking Outta My Glass!?!?" people

Heh,I was late,oh well enjoy my joke anyway :-p