NationStates Jolt Archive

The UN has prohibited all chemical and biological weapons.
Do YOU have stockpiles you need to be rid off?
Want confidential, secure disablement of weapons?
Then YOU want the Acras Decommissioning Station, northern Demo-Bobylon. 150 staff by day, 80 by night, and always 50 guards on duty. Able to process 3000 tons of weaponry per month, making the world safer. Strict rules on protective suits. UN suggested price for decommissioning: £125 per 1kg. Our price: Just £100.
Russia had 40,000 tons!
America 30,000!
Make your country safe with Acras! Open for orders.

Come on, people! Best deal around, my country's heavily in debt, end horrific weapons! Win-all deal! The price is actually based on RL.

We have decided that there simply isn't enough money in the budget to afford to dismantle our weapons. As such, we shall merely place them in a series of warehouses until the money becomes available to dismantle them, or until they get used, whichever's soonest.

Shildonia: you are a UN member and therefore it is illegal for you to be in possession of such weapons. We are able to store up to 5000 tonnes for a month FREE. After that, it costs £20 per tonne. How much do you have?

Everybody else: This is a necessary service, at budget rates. There's got to be more than one UN member with chemical or biological weapons with all the warmongering in NS and II!

no way im giveimg up my weapons of mass destructon.

ill just bury mine until the law is repealed and then ill shoot them at someone...

if you don't want to decommission your WMD's, simply give them to me.

I have 60,000 tonnes of nuclear weaponary. We are currently trying to store them in the Aridial Desert, but we have only found it possile to keep 2,500 tonnes there. So I will give you 57,500 tonnes to store. How much will that cost?

no way im giveimg up my weapons of mass destructon.You dont have to. Your not in the UN.

Dinosaurs and Dragons: You don't need to, but it will make your country safe.
Shing-Lo: You can't! I'll get the UN to send inspectors in. We'll confiscate them and give you a MASSIVE bill. If you don't pay it, we'll impose trade sanctions. Like I said, this is a NECESSARY service.

Or you could just give them to your universities to play with...

The thing is you don't need that much in the way material being kept in stock just have the plans and make sure you ahve a nice big pharmceutical/petro chemical industry.

calculating cost. What form are the weapons in?

if you don't want to decommission your WMD's, dont give them to this guy. I mean, hes a newbie called Terristan!

I have 60,000 tonnes of nuclear weaponary. We are currently trying to store them in the Aridial Desert, but we have only found it possile to keep 2,500 tonnes there. So I will give you 57,500 tonnes to store. How much will that cost?

We can only store 5000 at a time. We can decommission the rest, taking...approximately 18 months, costing £5.7 billion.
If you just want to hide evidence, however, we can't give the weapons back unless we run out of money.

funny!

calculating cost. What form are the weapons in?There fully prepared plutonium bombs. you can literally put them in a bomber right now and drop em. That'll cost a lot. By the way, I have some pre-prepared plutonium that I need to get rid of. Its not in a bomb, so it cant really be decommissioned. I think. So Im elling it for 5000 USD per ton.

Hey, wait, why is Terristan asking me that? D-B, is that guy your puppet?

yes, i'm D-B puppet

Nope. Will you pay the money now or in installments?

Lets check my national budget.... Hello! My nations grown! I can easily buy that! You dont have to store anything, when you have decommissioned them, give them back to me, for testing, use in nuclear reactors, and other stuff. Is that legal?

I mean take them apart. But we'll give you back some plutonium.

Oh. You can keep the plutonium. How much should I send now?

"Ah, who cares," says the UN controller of the factory, with a slight slur. "We'll work summat out. Choppers, I dunno."

Shildonia: you are a UN member and therefore it is illegal for you to be in possession of such weapons. We are able to store up to 5000 tonnes for a month FREE. After that, it costs £20 per tonne. How much do you have?


That is as maybe, but who is going to enforce these "laws"? You?

I never knew decommissioning was so expensive.
I can pay someone to dump it in their sea for a fraction of the cost...or i could sell it to some terroist state...they'll buy anything slightly biological :lol:

A group of Shildonian lawyers have just approached the Shildonian Government to say that the only UN Resolution on this subject, Elimination of Bio Weapons, only outlaws Biological Weapons, and does not mention Chemical Weapons, or Nuclear Weapons. As such, these weapons are perfectly legal for all nations to own.

Hmm, Ill send you 50,000 tons. Thats 5 billion? Im sending it by cargo plane now.

OK, so it does only mention biological. But the UN still disapproves of chemical weapons. Do you have any bio.?

MOBTIW: Yes it is. We'll have it done in a year and a half. See you 'til then!

I have 5 Kg of VX that needs disappearing.

I wold be in the UN, but the stupid computer binned the UN letter as junk mail :evil: .

I will stick to conventional weapons from now on.

There: that'll be £500 please.

Why not change your e-mail settings so that it accepts messages from NS?

The Shildonian Peoples Armed Forces cannot and will not provide details on the existance or non-existance of specific types of ordanance that may or may not be in use by the aforementioned organisation.
Any inference drawn from the above statement is entirely your own, and may or may not be correct.

*Wired money.*
Thanks a million!

The Shildonian Peoples Armed Forces cannot and will not provide details on the existance or non-existance of specific types of ordanance that may or may not be in use by the aforementioned organisation.
Any inference drawn from the above statement is entirely your own, and may or may not be correct.

We understand. And we may or may not make a note of your non-existant weapons.
It's simple: If you disarm now, you won't receive stupid junk mail from the Acras Station.

*Adopts a sinister coat and hat...and accent*
"Understand?"

I dont think that NS sends more than one UN e-mail.

And *money wired*

Ah, well, business is booming...well, making a sort of muffled noise.

---IMPORTANT---
I would like all not-yet-decommsioned bombs back. I am resigning from the UN. Since I havent been spending much lately, so all I want back is $250,000,000 back. Thank you.

Sorry. The message hasn't got through. :lol: