NationStates Jolt Archive

This fine product is being brought to you be Sleeveria and Volonia. I am following through with his design and development help. (Bubba Gump and Bobby Bouchy on box) If that doesn't say this is one great product I don't know what will.

Our product is simply Fruity Paint Chips. (not lead based)(hopefully)

Flavors:
Rasberry
Strawberry
Watermelon
Apple
Orange
Grape
Mystery Flavor
Swirl of any two flavors

ORDER NOW!!!!! $25 Dollars to the pound of any flavor.

NOW AVAILABLE!! Dipping Sauce(paint)

Flavors:

Nacho Cheese
Mystery
Honey Mustard
Ketchup
Pretty much anything you want...

we will spread these to nations suffering from hunger

buys 1000 of mixed

That will be 25,000 dollars. Thank you for your business.

Steve is awesome!

i'll have 5 boxes for my personal enjoyment. money wired upon confermation. strawberry please.

Lets see. There is one pound per box so that is 125 dollars of Strawberry flavor coming your way.

He likes it! Mikey really likes it!

(sound of Mikey puking his guts out in background)

(Nervous laughter) Ha ha, Mikey, quit clowning.

See I do care about my poor. 50 grands worth half in mystery flavor and half in swirl (doesn't matter what flavors).

Ok. 2,000lbs headed your way. Thanks for the 50grand.

Our product is simply Fruity Paint Chips. (not lead based)

That's right. 10 out of 10 tests performed by our lab (opens door to reveal Professor Bunsen extinguishing Beaker's blazing lab coat, then closes door hurridly) has determined that there is probably no lead in the bowl.

Hey now. So we have muppets making this stuff. (not like it matters)

Hey now. So we have muppets making this stuff. (not like it matters)

No. They're in QC.

OK. Sounds good. *gives Beeker thumbs up while being put out...

bump

Can I get another $2,000 worth for pest control purposes? Thanks.

80lbs is being shipped your way.

Any other takers for this fine product....

bump

Hi I mean er, uh-uh, BUMP!

WOW!!! Like dude I will buy like 10 tons. Dude you know what I mean. *wires money dude*

Order confirmed. Thankyou for your business.

bump

<And now, a commercial>

Children's laughter flows from the speakers as a tie-dye explosion hits the screen. The colors swirl as a carnival-like jingle plays; the explosion of colors resolves itself into a bowl filled with mutli-colored flakes.

A pitchman's smooth baritone voice rises over the music and laughter:

"New for your breakfast table: Cap'n Fruity Tardo Krunch! Real paint chips covered in some sort of fruit . . covering . . stuff. They're crunchy! They're fruity! They'll turn you into King Tardo!"

Two smiling kids take a big bite from a steaming bowl of cereal; their eyes go wide and their hands go to their throats as they begin to spin around. A loud cartoon whizzing sound emenates from somewhere as smoke and colorful sparks fly out. The kids stop spinning; two slack-jawed, drooling, squint-eyed morons now stare blankly at the camera. One breaks wind.

The pitchman continues: "Cap'n Fruity Tardo Krunch gets you on your feet to face the day!" One child falls to the floor.

The music rises to a fever pitch. "Buy some Cap'n Fruity Tardo Krunch! Right now!"

i did, and i fed it to my cat. it now chases cars.

i did, and i fed it to my cat. it now chases cars.

You heard it, folks: another satisfied customer!

Thats right no one satisfies customers like Cap'n Fruity Tardo Krunch. The tasty treat that can't be beat... *hums*

bump

im giving the share i bought to arcels people to show i am a good person

Cool. I may donate some after the war.

We are touched. Very touched. In fact, we're so moved that we're sending a bunch of this . . stuff . . to Arcel and Rebel Kieales. We guarantee that it can only help.

*crams cereal around warheads of cruise missiles and into artillery shells*

bump

We may get sponsorship in the n00b smashing Gran Prix.

"I gave this to myson and he now grins stupidly at every word spoken to him and wears a bib wherever he goes so the dribble does not run on his shirt!"

Picture of happy family spoonfeeding a kid strapped down with drool running down his face.

Speaker gives a classic grin and thumbs up to the audience.

Once again. Another satisfied customer. He likes it so much he feeds it to his own children. They are M M GOOD!

Don't forget kr-kr-KRUNCHY, too.

and dont forget DD Deadly

and dont forget DD Deadly

*slaps a gag order on IH*

lol

Dancing people in Fruit costumes come on stage.One picks up a bowl of Tardo Krunch and takes a bite.He drops the bowl and staggers around before falling off-stage,the other person in a fruit costume's head suddenly snaps back waith a spot of blood replacing his eye,a hidden sniper havinfg ruined the commercial

hey, volonia, if you even suggest serving these at the wedding, i will slap you! lol

I will put them in the cake... Hehehe.... Not really. *strangles hidden sniper for trying to make this high quality *cough* product look bad*

I'm sure the guests would just *love* fruity paint chips and the cake. hey, at least that way we'd get it all to ourselves. you could make one heck o f a commercail out of their reactions :wink:

Thats it. Nothing sells a product like romance.

for a small batch of the chips i have an idea that can revelutionize this product,

dipping sauce made of paint, you can have salsa flavor and nacho cheeze flavor

I will put them in the cake... Hehehe.... Not really. *strangles hidden sniper for trying to make this high quality *cough* product look bad*

The stage manager stomps over to where the security men are trying to kill the sniper.

"Ease up, there, boys. Hold him down. You, there - force his mouth open." The burly manager sits on the sniper's chest and forces Cap'n Fruity Tardo Krunch down his throat until the sniper's struggles cease. "There. Now he can be a politician or something."

Everyone laughs as they release the sniper, who stumbles to his feet, soils his pants and begins to cry.

HAHAHAHA!!!!!

That is a great idea. Thanks IH.

sounds like a high quality politician to me

for a small batch of the chips i have an idea that can revelutionize this product,

dipping sauce made of paint, you can have salsa flavor and nacho cheeze flavor

Well, these aren't exactly chips; they're more like, flakes and flecks of paint. Your idea has merit, though. We could stage an invasion of the land of Sherwin Williams and get all the raw materials we need. MUHAHAHAHA!

you need dipping sauce of something other than paint. like paint thinner or something, maybe. but both paint chips and sauce seems a little too much to me. but maybe that's the point! lol :roll:

make differnt religons version, like matzah chips, communion bread, etc...

versions of sauce or of the tardo krunch?

the krunch

maybe first we should declare war on sherwin williams to take over

ha!

maybe first we should declare war on sherwin williams to take over

Well, they are the agressive ones; they claim to "cover the world." Sounds pretty arrogant to me.

sure does

u have to remember no flame throwers if you take it over

definitly

yeah, they are such evil corrupt beings, and must be destroyed :roll:

yeah, they are such evil corrupt beings, and must be destroyed :roll:

No, we just want their paint.

yes, i know, i was being very sarcastic (notice the rolling of the eyes)

ill send 2 tanks and 3 trucks, 2 for moving the paint the other for troops to take over every store nearby. ill ship it to your factory

sounds good
invasion is going well

one question...where did you get the original paint for the first tardo krunch batch?

one question...where did you get the original paint for the first tardo krunch batch?

Building renovations.

ah

sounds........tasty

ah

sounds........tasty

<snort> After one bowl of this stuff, they'll enjoy licking the mold from the inside of a rest area toilet bowl.

bump As a gesture towards nice ness and stuff each manager at all stores were force fed a box.

bump

so have you been force fed a box yet? or were you excuse from that niceity :? :roll:

Me? Never. I wouldn't take the product out of paying customers hands.

sure :roll: :wink:

bump for Krunchiness

Bump

bump

Any takers. Great for Humanitarian Aid.

THEY ARE BACK!! THAT TASTY TREAT THAT CAN'T BE BEAT!!!!

I'm gonna make you my permanent food contractor!

*Buys 100,000 boxes of mystery, wires money*

*Opens an old box* Gah! This takes like burnt rubber! Fruity-licious!

Another satisfied customer folks. (definitely not an actor)*in very very small print*

50,000 boxes of swirl, please.

You got it, boss.

-Double post-

I'll take 20 million pounds of this stuff to feed my space colonists. Consider the money wired on confirmation.

Politician: *Opens a mystery box* Ewwww, cum flavored. Fruity-licious!

Assistant: How do you know what that tastes like?

Politician: Hummm... *screen goes black, gunshot*

Sleevaria: I have TM'd Volonia and requested exclusive production rights to this product. I am willing to buy the entire company for 500 million dollars.

Im willing to buy 500 pounds. It can't be beat for humanitarian aid!

I am sorry but the company is not for sale. But I would be willing to let you buy into the business.

ITS BACK?!

I am sorry but the company is not for sale. But I would be willing to let you buy into the business.

Is the company for sale for 5 billion dollars?

Bump

Hmmmm. You people are not buying enough.

Buy some, or we'll start launching it to you in handy multi-serving containers known as "ICBMs."

Just drop 89 metric tons of every flavor on my entire nation so every one will begin a feeding frenzy.

Excellent choice, sir. Squadrons of heavy bombers will be dispensing the cereal over your populated areas. They'll be followed by tankers spraying milk.

HAAHAHA :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: *Falls over laughing* look at them there fighting and killing each other over the cereal thnks for making this is a funny night sleeveveria!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :) :D :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sales are down. Irritation is up. Buy some cereal, or suffer the consequences.

NEW PRODUCT!!!!!

We are pleased to bring you Shards o' Glass Popsicle sticks. They come in assorted flavors of grape, orange, cherry, and lime. They come in boxes of 100 assorted flavors and provide joy and great taste for hours.

Cost of a single box is 5 Dollars