NationStates Jolt Archive

What would you do if you found a dead prostitute in the ball pit of your local IKEA?

Ball pits are scary, I used to be afraid of possibly finding pythons slithering around on the bottom of them.

She wasn't dead when she got into the ball pit.

What? It's always been one of my fantasies...

Ball pits are dangerous places

http://www.mopo.ca/uploaded_images/ball-pit-danger-795642.jpg

link this i want the details.

A 10-82 in the ball pit? Is Ben Affleck in town?

What would you do if you found a dead prostitute in the ball pit of your local IKEA?

Who hasn't?

Is this a hypothetical or did it really happen?

Dammit, I was hoping this was a news story.

:(

Dammit, I was hoping this was a news story.

:(
I was expecting that too. :(

IKEA has ball pits? I'm not white enough to gain entry to an IKEA store, so I wouldn't know.
Assuming that I somehow fell through a wormhole and ended up in an IKEA ballpit, then I guess that I'd assume the dead prostitute fell through a similar wormhole. I'd be very unnerved.

I wouldn't find a dead prostitute in the ball pit of my local IKEA because I never step foot in that place.

In fact I didn't even know there was a ball pit in my local IKEA.

What about the Ball Pit at a Mc.Donald though? I think that'd be a more likely place for someone to dump a dead prostitute.

IKEA has ball pits? I'm not white enough to gain entry to an IKEA store, so I wouldn't know.
Assuming that I somehow fell through a wormhole and ended up in an IKEA ballpit, then I guess that I'd assume the dead prostitute fell through a similar wormhole. I'd be very unnerved.

Theorizing that one could time-travel within her own lifetime, Samantha Beckett led an elite group of prostitutes into the desert to develop a top-secret project known as Ball Pit Leap. Pressured to prove her theories or lose funding, Beckett prematurely stepped into the pit, and vanished.

She awoke to find herself in IKEA, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not her own. Fortunately, contact with her own ball pit was maintained through brain-wave transmissions with Al, her pimp, who appears in the form of a hologram, that only Beckett can see and hear. Trapped in a privately-held, international home products retailer that sells flat pack furniture, accessories, and bathroom and kitchen items in their retail stores around the world, Beckett finds herself leaping from ball pit to ball pit, putting things right that once went wrong, and hoping each time that her next leap will be the leap home.

A 10-82 in the ball pit? Is Ben Affleck in town?

Yay! :D

What about the Ball Pit at a Mc.Donald though? I think that'd be a more likely place for someone to dump a dead prostitute.

You won't find dead prostitutes in the ball pit at McDonald. The quarter-pounders are another story.

You won't find dead prostitutes in the ball pit at McDonald. The quarter-pounders are another story.

We are talking about the burger right? Because when I read that, my mind went to well....feces.

We are talking about the burger right? Because when I read that, my mind went to well....feces.

Umm...I think you may have missed my meaning by almost exactly 180 degrees. Hint: Go with your first thought.

Since when do people notice a hooker buried under a bunch of balls?

Theorizing that one could time-travel within her own lifetime, Samantha Beckett led an elite group of prostitutes into the desert to develop a top-secret project known as Ball Pit Leap. Pressured to prove her theories or lose funding, Beckett prematurely stepped into the pit, and vanished.

She awoke to find herself in IKEA, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not her own. Fortunately, contact with her own ball pit was maintained through brain-wave transmissions with Al, her pimp, who appears in the form of a hologram, that only Beckett can see and hear. Trapped in a privately-held, international home products retailer that sells flat pack furniture, accessories, and bathroom and kitchen items in their retail stores around the world, Beckett finds herself leaping from ball pit to ball pit, putting things right that once went wrong, and hoping each time that her next leap will be the leap home.
You know you will repent for all eternity for that abomination.

You know you will repent for all eternity for that abomination.

I only regret that I did not do more to my fellow man.

I only regret that I did not do more to my fellow man.

You could have said, "Directed by Uwe Boll".

Since when do people notice a hooker buried under a bunch of balls?

/thread.

You could have said, "Directed by Uwe Boll".

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/output/motivator1855eb7b86e2f528f9839f83e584cf6c4f38201b.jpg

I really need to step away from the motivational poster generator. :P

What would you do if you found a dead prostitute in the ball pit of your local IKEA?
Call the Finance Guard and tell them that there's an item that hasn't been priced correctly, nor kept in the freezer, where it belongs.

Ball pits are scary, I used to be afraid of possibly finding pythons slithering around on the bottom of them.
I would be even more afraid of Monty Pythons slithering around.

I'm not white enough to gain entry to an IKEA store, so I wouldn't know.
:confused: You live in a country with apartheid?

Since when do people notice a hooker buried under a bunch of balls?
Since young kids watch way too much CSI.

Seeing as it is IKEA I imagine detectives would expect it to be easy to assemble a case against someone, though there would be something missing.

What would you do if you found a dead prostitute in the ball pit of your local IKEA?

1) Wonder how the fuck I got to an IKEA
2) Say "She died the way she lived - surrounded by balls."

I'll be leaving now..

What would you do if you found a dead prostitute in the ball pit of your local IKEA?

Ball pits are scary, I used to be afraid of possibly finding pythons slithering around on the bottom of them.

Errrr ummm ohhh ohh yeah, start seeing a differant prostitue?

I don't even know what a 'ball pit' is....

I don't even know what a 'ball pit' is....

http://www.funworldnh.com/Images/play_ballpit.jpg

It's a place filled with rubber balls, that kids can play in.

Plastic balls. Rubber would be heavy enough to hurt some one with.

Theorizing that one could time-travel within her own lifetime, Samantha Beckett led an elite group of prostitutes into the desert to develop a top-secret project known as Ball Pit Leap. Pressured to prove her theories or lose funding, Beckett prematurely stepped into the pit, and vanished.

She awoke to find herself in IKEA, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not her own. Fortunately, contact with her own ball pit was maintained through brain-wave transmissions with Al, her pimp, who appears in the form of a hologram, that only Beckett can see and hear. Trapped in a privately-held, international home products retailer that sells flat pack furniture, accessories, and bathroom and kitchen items in their retail stores around the world, Beckett finds herself leaping from ball pit to ball pit, putting things right that once went wrong, and hoping each time that her next leap will be the leap home.
Seeing as it is IKEA I imagine detectives would expect it to be easy to assemble a case against someone, though there would be something missing.
You are all terrible people. I love you.

http://www.funworldnh.com/Images/play_ballpit.jpg

It's a place filled with rubber balls, that kids can play in.

Now I'm with yez....

I like anal sex, therefore I hate America.

Plastic balls. Rubber would be heavy enough to hurt some one with.Maybe that's what happened there?

We are talking about the burger right? Because when I read that, my mind went to well....feces.

Same thing. ;)

guess she died with a smile on her face. Balled to death!

What would you do if you found a dead prostitute in the ball pit of your local IKEA? call the police...

Seeing as it is IKEA I imagine detectives would expect it to be easy to assemble a case against someone, though there would be something missing.

My vote would be the one missing a screw.

Since when do people notice a hooker buried under a bunch of balls?

um... when she's dead? (and obviously not doing her JOB!)

Ball pits and dead prostitutes are pretty much my two favorite things.

What would you do if you found a dead prostitute in the ball pit of your local IKEA?

Dead prostitutes are terrible at hide and seek :(

Dead prostitutes are terrible at hide and seek :(

Maybe, but they are certainly easy on the pocketbook.

Maybe, but they are certainly easy on the pocketbook.

...true, but they are somewhat of a cold comfort....

...true, but they are somewhat of a cold comfort....

Not if there's a microwave handy.

Not if there's a microwave handy.

Big microwave or small pieces?

Nothing a pocket warmer can't fix.

I wouldn't find a dead prostitute in the ball pit of my local IKEA because I never step foot in that place.

In fact I didn't even know there was a ball pit in my local IKEA.

Now you have a reason to go. :)

Big microwave or small pieces?

Big microwave. You'd want to keep her whole.

Big microwave. You'd want to keep her whole.

There are those who disagree. >.> <.<

Big microwave. You'd want to keep her whole.

In a sense.

There are those who disagree. >.> <.<

True, but they're perverts and we can discount their opinion on the proper use of a dead whore.

True, but they're perverts and we can discount their opinion on the proper use of a dead whore.

... there's a book about uses for a dead cat... I think we got another NYTimes best seller!