NationStates Jolt Archive

So basically this thread is asking you my fellow Generalities if you ever refrain from telling people things based on who they are, who they know and what you may expect to happen should you tell them?

Now this is a different thread from what I normally do but a few discussions have come up where I have refrained of telling people something simply because I didn't want them to know and what may happen should I tell them.

Now these things may range from letting your boss know that you slept with her husband to letting people know that you enjoy drinking Budweiser to letting your homophobic friend know that you are actually gay.

So if something comes up and there is an opportunity to tell people do you tell them or do you bite your tongue? Or do you hide everything from people and don't let them know anything?

It's a case by case thing that goes through several filters, like:

Is it really any of my business? If no, then no.
Will this result in my ass getting kicked? If yes, then no.
Will I be believed? If no, then no.
Is the messenger likely to be killed? If yes, then no.
Will any good come of it? If no, then no.

etc.

Not telling. Well someone had to...

Some things are better as a surprise. :)

All the time, and this time won't be too different.

I can't think of anyone who I'm totally open with, so yes.

Depends on what it is and the context of said information.

"Dude, that chick you've been talking to is really a man." That bit of info I would definitely pass on. At what point in the evening I would pass it on might vary, depending.

"Your girlfriend/boyfriend is cheating on you" That, I would keep to myself. They never believe you, and when you turn out to be right, they act like it's somehow your fault.

"The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math; Politicians always claim to be sensitive to the working class, it's how they avoid belonging to it; Little civility never hurt no-one, chicks like a guy with manners." Bits of info like that, I hand out all the time.

I can't think of anyone who I'm totally open with, so yes.

This.

Being open is for healthy, well-balanced people.

I tend to refrain from telling people things. People don't need to know most things anyway.

I don't go around telling casual aquaintences, and people I don't know everything. However, my closest friends, members of my family, and my girlfriends/lovers are privy to absolutly anything they want to know.

I don't go around telling casual aquaintences, and people I don't know everything. However, my closest friends, members of my family, and my girlfriends/lovers are privy to absolutly anything they want to know.

And this is a crucial difference. Many would answer a question truthfully, but never volunteer the information.

And this is a crucial difference. Many would answer a question truthfully, but never volunteer the information.

To be fair, my mother does get told everything.

To be fair, my mother does get told everything.I go to great lengths to avoid telling my mother things. It stems from her being so nosy about my relationships.

I go to great lengths to avoid telling my mother things. It stems from her being so nosy about my relationships.

I'm like this also.

I go to great lengths to avoid telling my mother things.This.

I go to great lengths to avoid telling my mother things. It stems from her being so nosy about my relationships.

I have a special relationship with my mother thats not really describable.

I go to great lengths to avoid telling my mother things.

I will get on board with this as well.

Shit it's 9pmand I never called my mum for Mothers Day nor did I get her a present.

I'm just a shit son really.

I am almost entirely unrestrained.

I definitely refrain from telling people things based on who they are. If I know someone gossips or gets drunk and tells things that were supposed to be relatively confidential, I don't tend to tell them things (especially not on a day when they're likely going to be drinking later).

Also, there are different levels of things I will tell to different people based partly on how well I know/trust them and whether it's relevant.

I tell people things if they have a legitimate interest in knowing or I want advice on something. Otherwise, no.

EDIT - the above applies to real life. On the internets, I am open to the extent that people are regularly no doubt wanting me to shut up about every boring detail of my relatively uneventful life.

Of course I refrain from telling people things.

I refrain from telling people things that are none of their business. For example, if I met you, Blouman Empire, I would refrain from telling you all kinds of things about myself that are nobody's business but my own.

I also refrain from telling people things that are either have no relevance to the conversation or could possibly create unnecessary friction. For example, if I met you, Blouman Empire, I would like keep quiet about my opinion of your outfit, no matter what you were wearing.

:p

Of course I refrain from telling people things.

I refrain from telling people things that are none of their business. For example, if I met you, Blouman Empire, I would refrain from telling you all kinds of things about myself that are nobody's business but my own.

I also refrain from telling people things that are either have no relevance to the conversation or could possibly create unnecessary friction. For example, if I met you, Blouman Empire, I would like keep quiet about my opinion of your outfit, no matter what you were wearing.

:p

rofl

So basically this thread is asking you my fellow Generalities if you ever refrain from telling people things based on who they are, who they know and what you may expect to happen should you tell them?

Now this is a different thread from what I normally do but a few discussions have come up where I have refrained of telling people something simply because I didn't want them to know and what may happen should I tell them.

Now these things may range from letting your boss know that you slept with her husband to letting people know that you enjoy drinking Budweiser to letting your homophobic friend know that you are actually gay.

So if something comes up and there is an opportunity to tell people do you tell them or do you bite your tongue? Or do you hide everything from people and don't let them know anything?

Simple. If I want them to know, I tell them. If I don't want them to know, I don't tell them. If it doesn't really affect me if they know, I don't tell them. The last one's cause you can never be sure.

Simple. If I want them to know, I tell them. If I don't want them to know, I don't tell them. If it doesn't really affect me if they know, I don't tell them. The last one's cause you can never be sure.
There's an old saying: Least said, soonest mended.

It's incredibly poor boundaries to randomly spew your deep dark secrets on anyone and everyone. Unless you're in the sex industry, for example, it's *almost* never okay t discuss your sex life with him/her (not counting bosses that are friends or some scenario where they just must know for some odd reason).

I have a hard time imagining anyone over the age of about three who doesn't refrain from telling people things. Otherwise, your average conversation would go something like:

"Hey, I just had a really stinky bowel movement!"
"....that's disgusting. Also, I am currently checking out your tits but hoping you don't notice."
"You're such a pig! I cheated on my boyfriend with a girl once."
"I think you're a horrible person, but I'm so going to be masturbating to that image later and feeling ashamed about it."

...et cetera. It would, in short, be very entertaining for about ten seconds, and then society would implode. :tongue:

I can't think of anyone who I'm totally open with, so yes.

This

To be fair, my mother does get told everything.

Ok, alittle weird.

I go to great lengths to avoid telling my mother things. It stems from her being so nosy about my relationships.

Also this, and it's because my mom is also too damn nosy.

I have a special relationship with my mother thats not really describable.

Now I'm creeped out. I think my mind just took this thing down the wrong road.

Most of the time, I don't refrain from telling people things... people just don't ask me.

But sometimes, yeah, I do keep things to myself. And I will not hesitate to lie, if only to indulge them.

Some things I only tell online, like Erica rhymes with America. I have my reasons. But other stuff I will tell people offline.

Depends.

Some things I only tell online, like Erica rhymes with America.

Wtf?

I'm learning to refrain from voicing my unpopular opinions. :)

Now I'm creeped out. I think my mind just took this thing down the wrong road.

You so totally did.

Yes!

"Does this make my butt look big?"

What I tell, or refrain from telling, someone, is entirely dependent on my desired outcome, and its manipulative effect on the person in question.

What I tell and to whom depends on whether they need to know or not, and depends on if their continued ignorance will provide me with amusement.

It truly depends. I mostly refrain from saying a thing.

Depends. I'm a pretty honest person, so if someone asks me a question, they'll probably get their answer.

I don't have the Tourette syndrome, so yes, I refrain.

You so totally did.

You know, there's a children book called Love You Forever. It's about a mother who rocks her son to sleep every night, even well into his adult life. She'd actually drive to his house, climb into his bedroom window and rocks him to sleep. Then the day comes where she's old and frail and it comes his turn to rock her to sleep, all the while realizing why he never lost his virginity.

You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. (http://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Forever-Robert-Munsch/dp/0920668372)

That what your post about your mom reminded me of, that, and incest.

Yes!

"Does this make my butt look big?"

"No, but the Big Macs that you have for lunch everyday does."

People have long ago stopped asking me those type of questions. :D

Yes. I'm a compulsive liar, and very, very good at it too. I lie to pretty much everyone for a variety of reasons. Self-gain, to evoke sympathy or compassion, to bolster my ego, to manipulate my position in their eyes. It comes very naturally to me.

Even my own mother doesn't escape this.

Yes. I'm a compulsive liar, and very, very good at it too. I lie to pretty much everyone for a variety of reasons. Self-gain, to evoke sympathy or compassion, to bolster my ego, to manipulate my position in their eyes. It comes very naturally to me.

Even my own mother doesn't escape this.

So how do you know when you are lying?

So basically this thread is asking you my fellow Generalities if you ever refrain from telling people things based on who they are, who they know and what you may expect to happen should you tell them?

Now this is a different thread from what I normally do but a few discussions have come up where I have refrained of telling people something simply because I didn't want them to know and what may happen should I tell them.

Now these things may range from letting your boss know that you slept with her husband to letting people know that you enjoy drinking Budweiser to letting your homophobic friend know that you are actually gay.

So if something comes up and there is an opportunity to tell people do you tell them or do you bite your tongue? Or do you hide everything from people and don't let them know anything?

Well of ocurse all of the time, there are two rules for this.

If I am told something in confidence, then I would never tell another soul, nope not even my wife.


If it is something that I want to keep personal or private to myself, then again, I'll tell no one.

Do I refrain from telling people things? it varies from person to person. I tell some people a lot of things and others almost nothing. I'll lie to make my life more convenient, but not to people I actually care about, because I'll only lie to those who I haven't let into my life, because they've shown themselves to lack an understanding despite all my attempts to give them one. So they'll get the truth I know they won't object to. Close, close friends might not get lied to, but I come close. I'll omit bits of the truth and I won't talk to them about everything. I've worked so hard to find a few people in the world that I can tell everything and now I have them I can't for fear of losing them. I'll tell them most things, I won't be scared of their reaction, but I'm always scared of condemnation and so I'll omit the things that I'm unsure about. I won't talk about a band that I like because what if one of my closest friends thinks not just that they're bad, but outright ridiculous. I'd feel really weird listening to any of their stuff again afterwards. - but look at this. I'm being very open and honest wth a bunch of people who are total strangers (and a couple of people will read this who I've talked to before) because why? Nobody here really cares about any of this. I can afford to be open and honest when I know it won't come back to bite me in the arse. And there's your answer.

So how do you know when you are lying?

Because I am self-aware that I am lying? What kind of question is this? I am not delusional, my lies are constructed with care and precision.

Because I am self-aware that I am lying? What kind of question is this? I am not delusional, my lies are constructed with care and precision.

Lier.








:p

You know, there's a children book called Love You Forever. It's about a mother who rocks her son to sleep every night, even well into his adult life. She'd actually drive to his house, climb into his bedroom window and rocks him to sleep. Then the day comes where she's old and frail and it comes his turn to rock her to sleep, all the while realizing why he never lost his virginity.

You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. (http://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Forever-Robert-Munsch/dp/0920668372)

That what your post about your mom reminded me of, that, and incest.



Nope, you still got it wrong. I don't depend on my mother for anything, we just tell each other everything.

I almost never refrain from telling people things, unless:

1. The info is personal, and they aren't a close friend.

2. I've been asked not to reveal the information, and said information is personal.

Because I am self-aware that I am lying? What kind of question is this? I am not delusional, my lies are constructed with care and precision.

I think he meant by 'you' as in anyone who isn't you if you know what I mean. Like a collective you.