NationStates Jolt Archive

Let's say your friend, we'll call him H N Fiddlebottoms VII, was dying and desperate to lose his virginity. Would you hire a whore to fulfill his dying wish? Assuming he doesn't have AIDS, agoraphobia, or swine flu.

Oh, yes, in addition to dying he has no hands.

Why can't he get laid the costly way?

It would depend upon how much she cost--but I would think he could hire his own prostitute.

tell him to hire his own whore

Why can't he get laid the costly way?

I am Parkus, and I approve of this message. :D

Whore hell, he can use his hand like I did.

Depends on the price.
This.

Let's say your friend, we'll call him H N Fiddlebottoms VII, was dying and desperate to lose his virginity. Would you hire a whore to fulfill his dying wish? Assuming he doesn't have AIDS, cancer or swine flu.

Cancer? Cancer isn't contagious.

But to the question, possibly. Though, depending on the friend, I might offer myself first. I do have a friend who turns 40 this year and is still a virgin. She is very conflicted about it. I offered to buy her boy toy for her birthday. She's considering it.

But to the question, possibly. Though, depending on the friend, I might offer myself first. I do have a friend who turns 40 this year and is still a virgin. She is very conflicted about it. I offered to buy her boy toy for her birthday. She's considering it.

Pity fuck ftw

I'd hire a well hung male prostitute to take H N Fiddlebottoms' anal virginity.

Why can't he get laid the costly way?

His appearance, personality, and personal wealth, or lack thereof, preclude him from getting any.

His appearance, personality, and personal wealth, or lack thereof, preclude him from getting any.

Well, unless he lost both hands in an industrial accident, surely he can get some?

Well, unless he lost both hands in an industrial accident, surely he can get some?

See first post.

His appearance, personality, and personal wealth, or lack thereof, preclude him from getting any.

But the price?

See first post.

Noted. Maybe I should read OPs a little more carefully.

Nah.

...Assuming he doesn't have AIDS, agoraphobia, or swine flu.

Most whores will come to you (no pun intended), so agoraphobia shouldn't be a deterrent either. :p

But the price?

Of a prostitute or the costly way?

His appearance, personality, and personal wealth, or lack thereof, preclude him from getting any.

No. There is not a soul on this earth, industrial accident or otherwise, who cannot get laid. Of this, I have anecdotal evidence by the thousands.

No. There is not a soul on this earth, industrial accident or otherwise, who cannot get laid. Of this, I have anecdotal evidence by the thousands.

His appearance has cause those with weak will to lose their sanity, his personality has caused numerous attempts on his life(including a number of pacifists), and he has no income while being in massive debt. Poor guy. :(

Will this involve a surprise visit from Chris Wallace?

Of a prostitute or the costly way?

:D Prostitute--I refuse to cover the costly way.

Will this involve a surprise visit from Chris Wallace?

We can't afford to purchase his sexual services. :(

No. I might give him a convenient telephone number, but I don't need to add his sins to my own list. He can hire his own prostitute.

I'd probably hire him a cheap one, if he's dying it doesn't matter too much about quality. Plus I refuse to waste my cash on a whore I'm not using.

I would get him one. Not even a question really.

His appearance has cause those with weak will to lose their sanity, his personality has caused numerous attempts on his life(including a number of pacifists), and he has no income while being in massive debt. Poor guy. :(

What if he were to go to a bar or club, not speak except in one word answers, and pick up a girl with a little lubrication?

Depends on the price, Id definitely get a pot together so we can fund his trip to Nevada, ;)

I'd make the call, but only if he had enough in his wallet to cover her fee. I mean, what are friends for if they can't even dial a phone for a dying man?

His appearance has cause those with weak will to lose their sanity, his personality has caused numerous attempts on his life(including a number of pacifists), and he has no income while being in massive debt. Poor guy. :(
My father was Yog-Sothoth, my mother was a guppy, and my other mother was the temporarily undead Benjamin Franklin (1706 – 1790, 1986-1988). It was a difficult childhood ...

Don't be lazy and subcontract out what you can do yourself, Neo K.

No. There is not a soul on this earth, industrial accident or otherwise, who cannot get laid. Of this, I have anecdotal evidence by the thousands.
I am living, breathing evidence that this is patently false. :tongue:

Of course, that issue's for a different thread. :p

not only would i, i have done so in the past for handicapped friend who had no luck in getting non-whores to give him a tumble.

A real friend would volunteer themselves http://generalitemafia.ipbfree.com/uploads/ipbfree.com/generalitemafia/emo-bananahump.gif *nod*

Assuming he doesn't have AIDS

Why would that preclude someone from having sex? It seems to me that you are honestly trying to say that people with HIV/AIDS shouldn't have sex, and that strikes me as quite inane.

Anyhow, I wouldn't pay for anyone's whore as I have no way of ascertaining if the person is subject to trafficking or not, not to mention that finding someone willing to have sex with someone else for free is much easier and a lot less illegal.

Why would that preclude someone from having sex? It seems to me that you are honestly trying to say that people with HIV/AIDS shouldn't have sex, and that strikes me as quite inane.
Well, there is the heightened risk of spreading the virus....

Anyhow, I wouldn't pay for anyone's whore as I have no way of ascertaining if the person is subject to trafficking or not, not to mention that finding someone willing to have sex with someone else for free is much easier and a lot less illegal.

Not in Nevada, ;)

Well, there is the heightened risk of spreading the virus....

If you think the risk is in any way heightened by the knowledge of someone seropositivity, then you know very, very little about safer sex.

Not in Nevada, ;)

Fortunately, I am not daft enough to live in a place like Nevada.

If you think the risk is in any way heightened by the knowledge of someone seropositivity, then you know very, very little about safer sex.

I believe he was arguing that having the virus increases the risk of transmission, rather than that knowing about it increases the risk.

Fuck that shit, Fiddles can get his own whore.

No. There is not a soul on this earth, industrial accident or otherwise, who cannot get laid. Of this, I have anecdotal evidence by the thousands.

I AM anecdotal evidence that some people can't get laid.

His appearance has cause those with weak will to lose their sanity, his personality has caused numerous attempts on his life(including a number of pacifists), and he has no income while being in massive debt. Poor guy. :(

Get out of my apartment.