NationStates Jolt Archive

Really, a chicken in a can.

http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/chicken-can-1.jpg


http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/chicken-can-3.jpg

http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/chicken-can-4.jpg

For the love of God, WHY?

EWWWWWWW.

Seriously, ick. Also, wouldn't that be mega unhealthy? Or alternatively mega filled with preservatives ... and so still mega unhealthy? *Shudders and shudders and can't stop*

oh my god...

the jelly... its everywhere

*realizes LG may soon see this thread, prepares defenses for eminent gross chicken goo attack*

lol

Ew.... that's so friggin' gross... I mean... ew. It's meat in a can that makes spam look...edible...*shudder* by human standards. EEEWWWW!! That's so vile!

I can't quite see the proportions. That's either a huge can or a tiny chicken.

I can't quite see the proportions. That's either a huge can or a tiny chicken.

Or a chicken that was mega-compressed to fit into the can.

oh my god...

the jelly... its everywhere

*realizes LG may soon see this thread, prepares defenses for eminent gross chicken goo attack*

*begins analyzing defenses and modifies plans accordingly*

Hey, we used to keep canned chicken out at the cabin, and trust me, it's pretty fucking delicious in a soup when you've been out in the bush all day. Why? Why do we keep anything in cans? Because some of us live in places where fresh food is not available all year round.

It's hard to tell for sure because you can only see the lower half of his face, but I bet that kid is traumatized for life.

Hey, we used to keep canned chicken out at the cabin, and trust me, it's pretty fucking delicious in a soup when you've been out in the bush all day. Why? Why do we keep anything in cans? Because some of us live in places where fresh food is not available all year round.
Could you cook it by setting the tin in the embers of your camp fire?

After a quick look through my bookmarks, I found this:

Advertising vs. Reality (http://www.funtasticus.com/20080324/advertising-vs-reality-a-product-comparison-project/)

I bring it up because the images remind me of what the OP has... "kindly" shared with us.

Look at the can:

"Fully cooked"

"Home-style Goodness"

Yummy!

Could you cook it by setting the tin in the embers of your camp fire?They're already cooked.

And they are very small. More like quail.

They're already cooked.

And they are very small. More like quail.The one we've been blessed with images of does not look as if cooked :eek2:

Limits. This chicken in a can has reached them.

It looks like its being birthed.

The one we've been blessed with images of does not look as if cooked :eek2:
Why do you think it's all covered in jelly? That's congealed chicken fat. The liquid in the can is all congealed chicken fat, hence the fucking kick ass soup stock it creates. What, you expected it to look brown? It was boiled.

Limits. This chicken in a can has reached them.

Needs to be on motivational poster.

That's congealed chicken fat.

Eeewww.... :eek: That's just...vile.

Why do you think it's all covered in jelly? That's congealed chicken fat. The liquid in the can is all congealed chicken fat, hence the fucking kick ass soup stock it creates. What, you expected it to look brown? It was boiled.

I wonder what preparation technique the manufacturer recommends to make the inside chicken look like the outside chicken. Other than ingesting hallucinogens I mean. :tongue:

Needs to be on motivational poster.

Yes. Kind of like what Londim said.

Above the picture, big letters: "Limits."

Below, smaller: "Learn to recognize them."

Needs to be on motivational poster.

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/output/motivator7665551.jpg

Eeewww.... :eek: That's just...vile.
Lol...don't ever let homemade chicken soup get cold then...
I wonder what preparation technique the manufacturer recommends to make the inside chicken look like the outside chicken. Other than ingesting hallucinogens I mean. :tongue:

Ha, yeah I love the roast, stuffed chicken on the front.

Lol...don't ever let homemade chicken soup get cold then...

:p How dare you imply that I cook my own food. The audacity.

:p How dare you imply that I cook my own food. The audacity.
I apologise! Please don't beat me with your mod stick!

Hey, that sounds dirty.

I take it back!

*snip*
lol

I apologise! Please don't beat me with your mod stick!

Hey, that sounds dirty.

I take it back!

But...but... what am I going to do with it now? Oh, I know! *beats chicken in the can with her mod stick*

But...but... what am I going to do with it now? Oh, I know! *beats chicken in the can with her mod stick*

That may be the best way to get it back in the can . . .

http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/yummy.jpg

In case, you wanted a full tour...

http://ihatemymessageboard.com/2009/04/23/a-whole-chicken-in-a-can/

It still looks gross once the directions are followed, and YES!! The directions are posted. It even uses the word "delicious".

Brrrrfffffffghhhhhheeehhyyyyyywww.

That's boggin.

That may be the best way to get it back in the can . . .
Ever heard the story of Pandora's Box? Well, if the people who made Pandora's Box were in charge of making chicken and putting it into cans, then that's about what we have here. Once that thing greases its way out, it never goes back. Ever.

Wow! ahaha, I like fresh once though

id buy some for the apocalypse pantry in my bunker if i had a bunker and fear an apocalypse.

id buy some for the apocalypse pantry in my bunker if i had a bunker and fear an apocalypse.

I think that any boost you get from real chicken will be stifled by the morale loss upon opening the can. :p

Sweet Sue is a messed up bitch.

Kids expression=win.

I would sooner eat roadkill.

Hey, we used to keep canned chicken out at the cabin, and trust me, it's pretty fucking delicious in a soup when you've been out in the bush all day. Why? Why do we keep anything in cans? Because some of us live in places where fresh food is not available all year round.

Exactly, this is why Spam and Chicken in a can is popular on the Pacific Islands.

If I am ever invited to a dinner being hosted by Sweet Sue I think I will decline.

Sweet Sue is a messed up bitch.



Can't trust her either.

Ew.... that's so friggin' gross... I mean... ew. It's meat in a can that makes spam look...edible...*shudder* by human standards. EEEWWWW!! That's so vile!

Me as well as the entire state of Hawaii resent the implication that Spam is absolutely disgusting. Unlike you haoles, we cook it first.

Who's hungry for a burger?

http://images.stanzapub.com/readers/trifter/2008/01/30/107149_1.jpg

Hey, we used to keep canned chicken out at the cabin, and trust me, it's pretty fucking delicious in a soup when you've been out in the bush all day. Why? Why do we keep anything in cans? Because some of us live in places where fresh food is not available all year round.
I like canned chicken breast, but something about this looks very wrong.

Who's hungry for a burger?

http://images.stanzapub.com/readers/trifter/2008/01/30/107149_1.jpg

Talk about A Can Has Cheezburger

Talk about A Can Has Cheezburger
Owwwww, that was PAINFUL.

Really, a chicken in a can.

http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/chicken-can-1.jpg


http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/chicken-can-3.jpg

http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/chicken-can-4.jpg

For the love of God, WHY?
That is, without a doubt, one of the top three... or four... most disgusting things I've ever seen.

oh my god...

the jelly... its everywhere


It's like...after-birth.

BLYECH!!!

*dies*

That is repulsive.

The resemblance of that...thing...to a thing being birthed reminds me of an episode of the old Julia Child cooking show that was on PBS decades ago, when I was but a wee little Muravyets. I don't think I could ever find this clip on youtube. Julia was preparing a chicken, a fresh one -- a REAL one -- and she was demonstrating how to wash the chicken before cooking it. And at the end, while it was draining on a towel, she sat it up to show the camera various parts of it she wanted to draw to the audience's attention for how she was planning to take it apart. And as she sits it up on its butt and is holding it up by its wings (by its "underarms"), she actually laughed and said in that Julia Child voice:

"It looks rather like a dead baby, doesn't it?"

The resemblance of that...thing...to a thing being birthed reminds me of an episode of the old Julia Child cooking show that was on PBS decades ago, when I was but a wee little Muravyets. I don't think I could ever find this clip on youtube. Julia was preparing a chicken, a fresh one -- a REAL one -- and she was demonstrating how to wash the chicken before cooking it. And at the end, while it was draining on a towel, she sat it up to show the camera various parts of it she wanted to draw to the audience's attention for how she was planning to take it apart. And as she sits it up on its butt and is holding it up by its wings (by its "underarms"), she actually laughed and said in that Julia Child voice:

"It looks rather like a dead baby, doesn't it?"

LOL, that sort of comment would result in a media shitstorm nowadays.

Lol, maybe she didn't say "dead", but then, it WAS headless, so... maybe I just heard "dead" as she was playing with her (obviously dead) chicken "baby" preparatory to butchering it with a cleaver.

I miss that show.

Although I have seen these cans on the shelves at various grocery store, until now, I had never seen the contents of said cans. Thank you NSG for raping my last vestiges of innocence.

I can't find the actual "baby" clip, but I think this is the start of the Julia Child episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ohiUbQyDhk&NR=1

So...which is worse? Or is there just something inherently horrific about dead, butchered, and prepped chickens?

Meh.

That's nothing.

I have a can of Alligator in a Can.

I am too chicken to open it.

Send it to me. I'll open it, put it on a sandwich, and post the photos.

Rach Oth has requested I close the window because it is "the nastiest thing ever."
I think it's hilarious. I have control of the computer.

I'm telling you folks...you won't be talking out of your necks when the zombie apocalypse comes and chicken in a can is the only thing giving you enough strength to stop the undead from eating your brains...

I'm telling you folks...you won't be talking out of your necks when the zombie apocalypse comes and chicken in a can is the only thing giving you enough strength to stop the undead from eating your brains...
Honey-sister, if I'm reduced to having THAT for dinner, the zombies can have my brain. Hell, I would eat my brain before I'd eat that.

I'm telling you folks...you won't be talking out of your necks when the zombie apocalypse comes and chicken in a can is the only thing giving you enough strength to stop the undead from eating your brains...

Honey-sister, if I'm reduced to having THAT for dinner, the zombies can have my brain. Hell, I would eat my brain before I'd eat that.

I wonder what zombie flesh tastes like...

I wonder what zombie flesh tastes like...
...like that canned chicken, I would venture to guess. :D

It's JELLO!

http://www.weddingfavorsunlimited.com/Images2/brain_jello_mold.jpg
(Note: That's from WeddingFavorsUnlimited.com :D)

And so is this:
http://www.daniellespencer.com/graphics/projects/various/jello_turkey/jello_turkey_1.jpg

And they both look better than that thing in a can.

Lol, bunch of pussies.

I'm just glad nasty old goat balls don't come in a can, cuz I had my fill in Pontacucho, Peru. Chicken in a can? Child's play.

Note to self: When visiting Neesika, go out for dinner.

The resemblance of that...thing...to a thing being birthed reminds me of an episode of the old Julia Child cooking show that was on PBS decades ago, when I was but a wee little Muravyets. I don't think I could ever find this clip on youtube. Julia was preparing a chicken, a fresh one -- a REAL one -- and she was demonstrating how to wash the chicken before cooking it. And at the end, while it was draining on a towel, she sat it up to show the camera various parts of it she wanted to draw to the audience's attention for how she was planning to take it apart. And as she sits it up on its butt and is holding it up by its wings (by its "underarms"), she actually laughed and said in that Julia Child voice:

"It looks rather like a dead baby, doesn't it?"
You want dead baby look... try a skinned rabbit being prepared for the pot.

Lol, bunch of pussies.

I'm just glad nasty old goat balls don't come in a can, cuz I had my fill in Pontacucho, Peru. Chicken in a can? Child's play.
Are young goat balls any tastier? ;)

I've done beer-can chicken before(http://bbq.about.com/od/chicken/ss/aa072807a.htm)but not canned chicken. I'd eat that, all you'd have to do is cook the jelly off. Handy.

Great birthday present.

In case, you wanted a full tour...

http://ihatemymessageboard.com/2009/04/23/a-whole-chicken-in-a-can/

It still looks gross once the directions are followed, and YES!! The directions are posted. It even uses the word "delicious".

Interesting. Also...


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3589/3469441388_d204e66fa1.jpg?v=0

Goofball wanted to make sure I got a picture of his whole face!

We have visual confirmation now.

We have visual confirmation now.

The kid looks like Bin Ladin happening upon a forgotten cache of Anthrax. Or The Blob.

In case, you wanted a full tour...

http://ihatemymessageboard.com/2009/04/23/a-whole-chicken-in-a-can/

It still looks gross once the directions are followed, and YES!! The directions are posted. It even uses the word "delicious".

haha I found this (http://ihatemymessageboard.com/2009/03/29/pork-brains-in-milk-gravy/) through that link. My mom use to fry them up with with eggs. Exact same brand.

I would sooner eat roadkill.

I know someone who actually does...

That chicken thing looks like it should be on the set of a new Aliens movie.

They're already cooked.

And they are very small. More like quail.

You can eat it, right from the can ? :)

Chicken in a Can seems gross. Ew.

I once had to taste cheap chicken meat in a can, on a hiking trip. It wasn't whole chicken, and it looked delicious on the package. At least, more delicious than the few remaining alternatives.
It tasted like if someone has ingested some chicken meat and vomited it out. Not even like super-bland chicken, though not outright disgusting, it was just so bad that even I preferred to go next 4 days without food (short of chewing up some grass) over eating that.

This chicken suddenly doesn't seem so bad.


Lol...don't ever let homemade chicken soup get cold then...
^this.
Foods with a lot of fat-water emulsion tend to look unfamiliar when cold. I mean, unfamiliar to someone who doesn't cook his own food and has to put it in the fridge, and doesn't deal much with canned foods.


Advertising vs. Reality (http://www.funtasticus.com/20080324/advertising-vs-reality-a-product-comparison-project/)
Many of these actually look just like what's advertised, except without increased color saturation trick.
Others don't.
But most just do the same trick, more flour, less everything else.

Talk about A Can Has Cheezburger

I think you just came up with their next ad campaign. ;)

Chicken in a can, yummy.

You should see Sweet Sue's Cow in a can.

Interesting. Also...



We have visual confirmation now.

That kid is gonna be up a clock tower someday. :(

That kid is gonna be up a clock tower someday. :(

With a rifle or a pair of big honkin' scissors. Or both.

Or a chicken that was mega-compressed to fit into the can.

See, THAT'S when the chick fits the can!

Looks alright to me.

Looks alright to me.

You're British. Your people eat Spam. :p

Could you cook it by setting the tin in the embers of your camp fire?

If you try it, I would open the can... else it could explode.

Look at the can:

"Fully cooked"

"Home-style Goodness"

Yummy!

actually... it kinda looks like the chicken served with a ginger/onion sauce in chinese resturants...

I wonder what preparation technique the manufacturer recommends to make the inside chicken look like the outside chicken. Other than ingesting hallucinogens I mean. :tongue:
a glaze then a quick firing in an oven should do it.

that looks rather... interesting...

When I opened the second link my gag reflex kicked in. And I just ate lunch...if hummus and pita wind up all over the place, it's all of your fault.

When I opened the second link my gag reflex kicked in. And I just ate lunch...if hummus and pita wind up all over the place, it's all of your fault.

Your fault for having such Communist and UnAmerican food as Pita and hummus.

You're British. Your people eat Spam. :p

I'm English, and we don't eat nearly as much spam as the Hawaiians. Anyway spam's not even that bad, I don't what all the fuss is about.

I'm English

I wonder why I keep making that mistake.

I wonder why I keep making that mistake.

Because you're foreign?

Mmmmm....Gooey, aluminumy chicken....

I'm English, and we don't eat nearly as much spam as the Hawaiians. Anyway spam's not even that bad, I don't what all the fuss is about.

HEY! I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK!!! :p

spam fried rice...
spam musubi...
spam saimin...
spam burgers...

mmmm.....

spam musubi...
spam saimin...


Never even heard of these 2.

Never even heard of these 2.

oh, you poor deprived haole... ;)

http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/spam_musubi.jpg
Spam Musubi (classic)

and Spam Saimin is basically your saimin/ramin with spam garnishes.

oh my god...

the jelly... its everywhere

*realizes LG may soon see this thread, prepares defenses for eminent gross chicken goo attack*

*approaches from behind while lackadaisical is on guard form LG and chicken goos him *