NationStates Jolt Archive

I see dead foxes, cats, badgers, rats, pigeons, small birds and rodents, I have even seen a dead swan in the city where I live - but I have never seen a dead squirrel. Where do they go? Are they so tasty scavengers immediately eat them or are there hollow trees around full to the brim of dead squirrels?

I don't know why you never see a dead squirrel.
My cat brought one home the other day.

We can mail you some if you want?

Over here we're supposed to report dead animals, especially birds, so Health & Safety can check them for diseases.

They don't die. When they level up to around level 39 or 40 they just evolve into talk show radio hosts. While you might think this is a substantial step up, both are widely regarded as vermin. Their roots help to explain why, along with their perfectly justifiable hatred of foreigners and persons of anomalous colouring, talk show radio hosts also have a rabid dislike of owls, foxes, and raccoons.

We can mail you some if you want?



That is an exceedingly kind offer

That is an exceedingly kind offer

All part of the service, we have a lovely range in grey and, if you're willing to spend a little more on your squirrel, a fine selection of the rarer red Spring '09 collection, well worth your money sir.

I don't know why you never see a dead squirrel.
My cat brought one home the other day.

Well that fits with the they are so tasty theory. Was it still alive or already dead?

Perhaps they have a special graveyard, like elephants, only a little smaller

Squirrels are secretly ninjas. Trying to run them over is less effective than trying to swim across the atlantic.

I have seen dead squirrels. I don't think you are getting out enough. I just saw last weekend out on a hike a squirrel with cataracts in both eyes. The squirrel was running around blind. People were stopping on the trail looking at it and couldn't believe it was running around near them. The thing was blind and couldn't see. That was a first.

You only see them dead when they get hit by a car or something. Likely the scavenger thing is true. I have seen crows going after them not to mention birds of prey.

Swan don't get killed, they are the Queen's secret police.

Because it is the squirrel that is in fact the chosen creature of God not the human. So when each and every one dies, automatic rapture my friend.

instantly upon death, they wing their way onto the Elysium fields. Squirrels are the reincarnations of every Greek Hero.

I think this (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2318382.ece) is why.

It's a conspiracy.

The other theory is that Squirrels are Jedi, and so dissolve into dust upon death.
http://analogkid12.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/squrrilslightsabebattle.jpg

The dead squirrels are with the baby pigeons.

They don't die. When they level up to around level 39 or 40 they just evolve into talk show radio hosts.

Been writing non-canon Pokémon fanfic again?

Been writing non-canon Pokémon fanfic again?

I'm surprised you know about this. But yes, many people are fond of my tales of super-hot gay pikachu action. Its my use of beautiful extended metaphors and shit like that what makes it work.

It's a conspiracy.

AMGZ! The squirrels must be in it with the raccoons! I should have known...

They probably sleep with the fishes.

http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l192/whereyouthinkyougoing/Random/CCI00009_edited.jpg?t=1240405106

I'm surprised you know about this. But yes, many people are fond of my tales of super-hot gay pikachu action. Its my use of beautiful extended metaphors and shit like that what makes it work.

It took a while for my eyesight to return, yes. Unfortunately the nightmares haven't subsided.

The other theory is that Squirrels are Jedi, and so dissolve into dust upon death.
http://analogkid12.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/squrrilslightsabebattle.jpg

^this.

It's a conspiracy.

That's stretching it a bit far. It's just that squirrel cadavers have a distinct economic value, which is why they're removed by dedicated professionals before you could even notice the flattened squirrel on the tarmac.

Suffice it to say that Big Macs aren't entirely made from beef.

That's stretching it a bit far. It's just that squirrel cadavers have a distinct economic value, which is why they're removed by dedicated professionals before you could even notice the flattened squirrel on the tarmac.

Suffice it to say that Big Macs aren't entirely made from beef.

*apprehensively stops chewing and glances down at his Big Mac*

*apprehensively stops chewing and glances down at his Big Mac*

Does it have a slight nutty flavor? ;)

I think this (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2318382.ece) is why.

Odd, I've had squirrel before and thought it rather greasy and not particularly great. Rabbit is good though.

"" Why do I never see a dead squirrel? ""

Hmm...perhaps because you don´t work for the squirrel cemitery authority ?

Odd, I've had squirrel before and thought it rather greasy and not particularly great. Rabbit is good though.

Don't kill teh baby bunnies! Eat squirrel instead!:eek:

Don't kill teh baby bunnies! Eat squirrel instead!:eek:

Squirrels are just rats with fluffy tails.

Squirrels are just rats with fluffy tails.

I'm sorry, you see, I saw my great-grandfather skin a rabbit once and what was left on the pot to be seasoned looked like a dead baby. I rather eat rats with fluffy tails than stomach a rabbit.:$

Does it have a slight nutty flavor? ;)

Austin picks up a boiling pot, with a stool sample from Fat Bastard inside
Austin: Cor! This coffee smells like shit!
Basil: It *is* shit, Austin.
Austin: Oh, good. Then it's not just me.
[Drinks]
Austin: [Smacks lips] It's a bit nutty.

There seem to be an over abundance of squirrels in the neighborhood we moved to last spring, there's always 3-4 of them crossing the road when I get out Saturday morning to get coffee, and they always run in front of the car but are quick enough that I don't have to slow down do avoid them........except for one squirrel one Saturday a month ago, I guess he was slower than his friends and I clipped him with my car.....I pulled over, checked him out, he was smushed, completely flat except his tail. :(

Also, why don't we see baby pigeons? They can't all be born fat like that.

Also, why don't we see baby pigeons? They can't all be born fat like that.

That's something I have never thought about before, but it's so true

I can only suppose they grow adult feathers and pile on the weight quickly

I'm sorry, you see, I saw my great-grandfather skin a rabbit once and what was left on the pot to be seasoned looked like a dead baby.

'The Other White Meat' jokes aside, I have never encountered dead babies, least of all in kitchens. Still sounds healthier than pigeon meat, though. Urban pigeons are swarming with parasites.

That's something I have never thought about before, but it's so true

I can only suppose they grow adult feathers and pile on the weight quickly


Most pigeons tend to nest in scarcely visible places as well. I've seen pigeon nests in all sorts of urban niches, sheltered from the outside.

'The Other White Meat' jokes aside, I have never encountered dead babies, least of all in kitchens. Still sounds healthier than pigeon meat, though. Urban pigeons are swarming with parasites.

It's just that the skin of it, when furless, looks like what a baby looks like in the womb.

Also, why don't we see baby pigeons? They can't all be born fat like that.
I know!

Most pigeons tend to nest in scarcely visible places as well. I've seen pigeon nests in all sorts of urban niches, sheltered from the outside.
I finally discovered some pigeon nests last year, albeit several meters up and well hidden behind bricks and pillars and stuff, so all you could really see is the adults flying in and out. But even though now I've heard the chirping of young pigeons I still haven't ever seen even a single one.

It's all very mysterious. -_-

Maybe squirrels are the larval form of pigeons, like caterpillars metamorphosing into butterflies. This theory neatly explains both mysteries and therefore must be true.

Maybe squirrels are the larval form of pigeons, like caterpillars metamorphosing into butterflies. This theory neatly explains both mysteries and therefore must be true.

http://generalitemafia.ipbfree.com/uploads/ipbfree.com/generalitemafia/emo-dance_male.gif

No idea. I see em all the time.

I see dead foxes, cats, badgers, rats, pigeons, small birds and rodents, I have even seen a dead swan in the city where I live - but I have never seen a dead squirrel. Where do they go? Are they so tasty scavengers immediately eat them or are there hollow trees around full to the brim of dead squirrels?
Come to NYC. They throw themselves under cars' tires regularly.

So it's not only humans who go crazy in New York, even the squirrels can't stand the pressure!

I've only seen them splattered on the road, and turned into charcoal on powerlines...

Look further than the backyard. There's a dead one in every Cat's mouth. That's how it seems, at least

Squirrels almost never ever contract rabies. That could also be a factor.

Where do they go? Are they so tasty scavengers immediately eat them or are there hollow trees around full to the brim of dead squirrels?

Do you Not drive?
It also may depend on what state you live in. I sugguest visiting Virginia or Georgia, and asking for Squirrel Fixins'.

Dead squirrels get reduced to a little bit of fur fairly quickly. I see the remains often.

Squirrels don't die.

So it's not only humans who go crazy in New York, even the squirrels can't stand the pressure!

Squirrel got up
Fur all in black
Went down to the sidewalk
And he never came back
They found his acorns
Scattered somewhere down the track
And he won't be in Central Park
In the morning