NationStates Jolt Archive

My friend and I were debating whether or not we should preform amateur surgery on a cat. Let me explain. My friend has a cat and she decided that the cat needs to be spayed. She can't afford the surgery, but she has assisted a veterinary doctor in preforming this surgery many times. She said the only thing she wasn't sure about was the anesthesia. That's where I butted in because I am a chemistry major and could just find out what kind of and how much anesthesia to use. I also know a lot about disinfectants and how to set up clean environments.

Well, after we convinced ourselves that we were capable of spading my friend's cat safely, we questioned the ethics of such a surgery.

Its not morally questionable for an amateur to use medical knowledge in an emergency, but what if the surgery was not an emergency? Spaying a cat is not a very controversial procedure, but what if it was preformed by people who are not trained doctors?

UPDATE: We are not actually going to preform surgery on a cat. And its good that some of you pointed out that it is illegal. Like most laws however, I had not considered that.

Good luck - I don't condone it but I can't imagine it's overly easy to cut the balls off a cat.

will you have a very sturdy shovel on hand just in case?

My friend and I were debating whether or not we should preform amateur surgery on a cat. Let me explain. My friend has a cat and she decided that the cat needs to be spaded. She can't afford the surgery, but she has assisted a veterinary doctor in preforming this surgery many times. She said the only thing she wasn't sure about was the anesthesia. That's where I butted in because I am a chemistry major and could just find out what kind of and how much anesthesia to use. I also know a lot about disinfectants and how to set up clean environments.

Well, after we convinced ourselves that we were capable of spading my friend's cat safely, we questioned the ethics of such a surgery.

Its not morally questionable for an amateur to use medical knowledge in an emergency, but what if the surgery was not an emergency? Spading a cat is not a very controversial procedure, but what if it was preformed by people who are not trained doctors?

http://www.gwestern.com/images/superior%20wood%20spade.jpg

:eek2:

NO

she cannot spay the cat.

she has seen it many many times but until she DOES it she has no idea how hard it is. she will end up killing her cat.

NO you cannot jerryrig anesthesia. you need to know exactly what you are doing or you will kill the cat.

should it come to the attention of the authorities you will be charged with animal abuse.

dont do it.

Good luck - I don't condone it but I can't imagine it's overly easy to cut the balls off a cat.

It's a female cat. You neuter male cats.

My friend and I were debating whether or not we should preform amateur surgery on a cat. Let me explain. My friend has a cat and she decided that the cat needs to be spaded. She can't afford the surgery, but she has assisted a veterinary doctor in preforming this surgery many times. She said the only thing she wasn't sure about was the anesthesia. That's where I butted in because I am a chemistry major and could just find out what kind of and how much anesthesia to use. I also know a lot about disinfectants and how to set up clean environments.

Well, after we convinced ourselves that we were capable of spading my friend's cat safely, we questioned the ethics of such a surgery.

Its not morally questionable for an amateur to use medical knowledge in an emergency, but what if the surgery was not an emergency? Spading a cat is not a very controversial procedure, but what if it was preformed by people who are not trained doctors?

Also, wut?

Spaying = removing the ovaries of a (female, obv) cat

Also, even if you mean neutering a tomcat - are you nuts (no pun intended)?

It's a female cat. You neuter male cats.

You actually ARE talking about spaying?!

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

Do it ... if you don't care if the cat dies, that is. Surgery of any sort is best left to professionals. A chemist and a vet's assistant doesn't cut it, I'm afraid.

Oh, and if you do it and the cat does die, you get reincarnated as a mouse.

Oh for God's sake, there are shelters and organizations that provide low-cost or no-cost neutering. Don't do it yourself.

My friend and I were debating whether or not we should preform amateur surgery on a cat. Let me explain. My friend has a cat and she decided that the cat needs to be spayed. She can't afford the surgery, but she has assisted a veterinary doctor in preforming this surgery many times. She said the only thing she wasn't sure about was the anesthesia. That's where I butted in because I am a chemistry major and could just find out what kind of and how much anesthesia to use. I also know a lot about disinfectants and how to set up clean environments.

Well, after we convinced ourselves that we were capable of spading my friend's cat safely, we questioned the ethics of such a surgery.

Its not morally questionable for an amateur to use medical knowledge in an emergency, but what if the surgery was not an emergency? Spaying a cat is not a very controversial procedure, but what if it was preformed by people who are not trained doctors?

I bet if you look, you can find a vet willing to do it for low or no cost if you're strapped for cash. You might even get a local ASPCA or Humane Society to pick up the tab.

Exhaust other options first. *nod*

I cannot add anything constructive to this thread other than that both you and your friend are dumb. Just letting you know.

It's a female cat. You neuter male cats.

Ah, well then...

You actually ARE talking about spaying?!

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

Quite.

Why doesn't she ask the vet she assisted if he or she could help her out and do it for lower cost -- or if he or she knows anyone who could?

Well, after we convinced ourselves that we were capable of spading my friend's cat safely, we questioned the ethics of such a surgery.

What you're proposing would (most likely) be illegal here.

No. animal abuse charges will follow if it leaks out. In fact hacking your IP and reporting you to PETA just to be safe now.

DON'T TO IT!

Also, there are charity programs that will do the spaying for free/cheap. I got some feral cats spayed for $10 each once.

Let me know how much it costs with the charity program in your area, I'll send you a check.

Let me know how much it costs with the charity program in your area, I'll send you a check.

Hey, uh, I was going to perform amateur surgery on my cat too...

Hey, uh, I was going to perform amateur surgery on my cat too...

No cheque for you!

Spaying is major surgery. Would you like to have someone who had never done anything of the sort, with no relevant degree, with no trained assistants, perform major surgery on you, outside of an operating room, with jerry-rigged anaesthesia and without any safeguards? No? Then don't do it to the poor cat.

Hey, uh, I was going to perform amateur surgery on my cat too...

A Cat? Ha, I've got 12 that could use it, and a dog. Cheque please.

DON'T TO IT!

Also, there are charity programs that will do the spaying for free/cheap. I got some feral cats spayed for $10 each once.

Let me know how much it costs with the charity program in your area, I'll send you a check.

I have a charity program that's spaying cats in my area, and I just got a new kitty.

$500 please kthx

EDIT: AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, THE EXPRESSION IS JURY-RIGGED, NOT JERRY-RIGGED!

No cheque for you!

No love for the Dark Lord of the Sith.

I have a charity program that's spaying cats in my area, and I just got a new kitty.

$500 please kthx

EDIT: AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, THE EXPRESSION IS JURY-RIGGED, NOT JERRY-RIGGED!

Your charity program sucks. No cheque for you!

Alternatively, turn the cat into the pound, go back in 2 weeks and adopt it for $50. They will spay it.

EDIT: AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, THE EXPRESSION IS JURY-RIGGED, NOT JERRY-RIGGED!

I'm pretty sure jerry-rig is accepted nowadays as a portmanteau of jury-rig and jerry-built, but I could be mistaken.

I'm pretty sure jerry-rig is accepted nowadays as a portmanteau of jury-rig and jerry-built, but I could be mistaken.

http://www.wordcourt.com/archives.php?show=2004-03-10

You hate Germans, apparently [/joke]

at the very least, it would be entertaining

http://www.wordcourt.com/archives.php?show=2004-03-10

You hate Germans, apparently [/joke]

Heh. Given that I'm about half ethnically German, I guess I hate myself. I would be a pretty shitty anaesthesiologist, though, so I suppose that's fair. :p

I have a charity program that's spaying cats in my area, and I just got a new kitty.

$500 please kthx

EDIT: AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, THE EXPRESSION IS JURY-RIGGED, NOT JERRY-RIGGED!
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jerry-rigged
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jury%20rigged

I've heard both, as well as jerry-built.

“Jerry-rig” is a blend of “jerry-built” and “jury-rig,” but only recently have these two terms begun to mingle. The earliest date for “jerry-rig” given in any major dictionary is 1959, and some dictionaries don’t include it at all, for they still consider it a mistaken form—a garble.

http://www.wordcourt.com/archives.php?show=2004-03-10

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jerry-rigged
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jury%20rigged

I've heard both, as well as jerry-built.

I've heard one variation I'll only abbreviate NR. I slapped the guy who said it, honestly.


Anyway, it's only a cat. You and your friend sound reasonably knowledgeable. I lived briefly in an intentional community in West Virginia that mainly raised soybeans but also had some animals, and it's pretty uncontroversial to neuter animals. I even helped out once before making steers with a burdizzo. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burdizzo

Spaying might be a little more complicated, because the parts are on the inside.

Neutering is a much less invasive than spaying. People castrate their cattle all the time. Spaying on the other hand, requires significantly invasive surgery and anesthesia.

Ever wonder why there is a highly paid profession called anesthesiologist? Its because administering anesthesia not only requires the correct chemicals, but the training and equipment to monitor the patient's vital signs and adjust the drug mixture accordingly. Your idea is full of fail.

I believe a good rule of thumb is "never perform a surgery you can't spell."

I believe a good rule of thumb is "never perform a surgery you can't spell."

I endorse this. *nod*

Don't do it. Saying the only thing you're unsure about is the anesthesia is no big deal. And just because you've convinced yourself you could do it doesn't mean you actually could.

Aside from the well fare of the cat, which should be the first consideration, consider that performing such a surgery might be illegal under local laws, and that should something go wrong, you don't want your friend suing you for the death of her cat.

Good luck - I don't condone it but I can't imagine it's overly easy to cut the balls off a cat.

Is it just me or have we already had a similar thread?

Or was this line used in a debate about the US election?

I believe a good rule of thumb is "never perform a surgery you can't spell."

Rhinoplasty?

Come here Ryadn, let me have a look at your nose.

This is just possibly the worst idea ever.

This is just possibly the worst idea ever.

Nah, I have a friend who was a vet tech who tried to convince her brother that she could remove his gallbladder. They called me to see if I knew any street drugs that could "put him under".

I said I would call them back, but really I called the police.

Nah, I have a friend who was a vet tech who tried to convince her brother that she could remove his gallbladder. They called me to see if I knew any street drugs that could "put him under".

I said I would call them back, but really I called the police.

Well what drugs do you have?

Well what drugs do you have?

Right now, none. I think they thought I had some K or ludes....but I did not.

Right now, none. I think they thought I had some K or ludes....but I did not.

Already used your stash hey?

well that's alright you can send me one of your cheques so I can get some myself :tongue:

Nah, I have a friend who was a vet tech who tried to convince her brother that she could remove his gallbladder. They called me to see if I knew any street drugs that could "put him under".

I said I would call them back, but really I called the police.

:eek2:

:headbang:

Go for it.

I believe a good rule of thumb is "never perform a surgery you can't spell."
'Brain surgery'.

Woohoo:)

Let me know how much it costs with the charity program in your area, I'll send you a check.

Awww!

http://www.pet-abuse.com/cases/1106/VA/US/1
http://veterinarynews.dvm360.com/dvm/Veterinary+news/State-boards-wage-war-on-lay-persons-practicing-ve/ArticleStandard/Article/detail/569287

In OK, it's a FELONY to practice w/o a license.... so you might want to consider that.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=practicing+veterinary+medicine+without+a+license&aq=0&oq=practicing+vet

Eh go for it, you never know until you try.


Heh.

Why not practice on your friend first, her ovaries are bigger than a cats so it will be easier for your first go.

Why not practice on your friend first, her ovaries are bigger than a cats so it will be easier for your first go.

I support this idea.

It makes perfect sense after all.

Rhinoplasty?

Come here Ryadn, let me have a look at your nose.

Neuter.

Sure, let's swap procedures. ;)

Neuter.

Sure, let's swap procedures. ;)
No fair, yours is easier. :)

No fair, yours is easier. :)

Cyberimplants!

Better... Stonger... Faster...

Neuter.

Sure, let's swap procedures. ;)

On second thoughts your nose looks fine the way it is.

*Backs away*