NationStates Jolt Archive

For a long time now, the chastity of women in our culture has been in decline. Some of you may ask what basis this assertion has; I would point out that in my mother's day, women did not have sex before marriage. They also wore much more elaborate undergarments. I used to spend a lot of time examing my mother's clothing, and I can assure you, empirically, that women in those days took great steps to secure their virtue, propriety, and twats.

Having established the problem, let's talk about the cost: women are the future. Some feel that children are the future, but children come from women. It is axiomatic that better children come from women who have less sex. Its essentially the same reason that the waffles at Waffle House are not as good as the waffles made by a private master chef who only makes waffles twice a year. Which do you prefer: dirty, greas, salty, well pressed waffles shared by a counter of truckers, meth addicts, and grad students, or a nice, clean, crisp, WASPy waffle made off a grill that nobody has touched since last Christmas?

Thus, whorish women produce defective children, thus ruining the future.

I'll give you all an example. To preserve her anonymity, we'll call her Parrotlikesacookie. I've been seeing this woman for quiet some time. We enjoy a number of things together, like floral arrangment, watching Project Runway on A&E, cooking, men's olympic gymnastics and wrestling, and most recently, a "Gunn & Klum" party that our friends threw. Paro looked awesome in the pinstripes.

The problem is, after some of these events...she wants to....you know...do things. It freaks me out. It makes me...retreat...into myself. You know? I've tried to explain to her I want a proper woman who respects herself and me, and she reveals her whorishness by pointing out we've been dating for 11 months and haven't kissed. I told her, her lips remind me of a sideways vagina, and we aren't married, so stop being a whore.

Anyway, women, try to remember: Your virtue is the strength of our nation. Your sluttishness will kill all of us.

Be like Tim Gunn. Make it work, but it keep it in your pants.

That was back when women who had sex outside of marriage were outcast. Now that everyone is ok with the previous people are free to make their own choices. You should just look for a gf around a church or some place like that.

So STD don't spread and they don't get pregnant because abortion is wrong.
Men are never whores and don't get preg, so no need to concern about them.

Most...awesome...thread...ever.

http://www.btinternet.com/~nlpWESSEX/images/BushinaugurationclipS.jpg

Toomey. :hail:

wtf I thought some people would be calling this guy an idiot for saying that not worshipping him. What is going on here?

Chaste or Chased?

wtf I thought some people would be calling this guy an idiot for saying that not worshipping him. What is going on here?

You are unfamiliar with Toomey. You will become familiar.

That was back when women who had sex outside of marriage were outcast. Now that everyone is ok with the previous people are free to make their own choices. You should just look for a gf around a church or some place like that.

I would definitely prefer a girl well grounded in Christian principles.

In fact, this current girl, I met at Steven Baldwin's Crown of Thorns and Roses Romance Christian Speed Dating and DeVry Technical Institute Career Opportunity Expo. At first, we got along great.

We sang Christian songs together, spend a lot of time looking at Jesus's muscular torso down at the church, things like that...

But after our third date, she started pressuring me...

wtf I thought some people would be calling this guy an idiot for saying that not worshipping him. What is going on here?

How dare you? This guy freakin'...
http://www.gratitude-rocks.com/images/Gratitude-Rocks%20stones.jpg.

I would definitely prefer a girl well grounded in Christian principles.

In fact, this current girl, I met at Steven Baldwin's Crown of Thorns and Roses Romance Christian Speed Dating and DeVry Technical Institute Career Opportunity Expo. At first, we got along great.

We sang Christian songs together, spend a lot of time looking at Jesus's muscular torso down at the church, things like that...

But after our third date, she started pressuring me...

Well you've got about three options I believe.
1.convince her you're right
2.do the nasty with her
3.move on

can everyone please forgive my naivete.

So STD don't spread and they don't get pregnant because abortion is wrong.
Men are never whores and don't get preg, so no need to concern about them.

See, exactly.

Men are not whores, because whores are a subset of women. Men and women are different. Very different. Women have special bodies...special bodies, that feel things...differently. What it must be like for them...

Whores.

women in those days took great steps to secure their virtue, propriety, and twats.

lol, nice :P
not quite as epic as JesusSaves (or HerPower for that matter), but very good effort. A-

wtf I thought some people would be calling this guy an idiot for saying that not worshipping him. What is going on here?

If you don't understand, you probably aren't supposed to understand. *nod*

wtf I thought some people would be calling this guy an idiot for saying that not worshipping him. What is going on here?

We are in a time when the holy spirit has a chance to restore our nation.

If you don't understand, you probably aren't supposed to understand. *nod*

Think we should explain to the children, or simply let them ponder?

Chaste or Chased?

Well both if they are fast enough.

Well you've got about three options I believe.
1.convince her you're right
2.do the nasty with her
3.move on

can everyone please forgive my naivete.

Interestingly, those are the three sequential and conjunctive steps to Neo Art's relationships with women...

Think we should explain to the children, or simply let them ponder?

They must go to their church to understand.

Think we should explain to the children, or simply let them ponder?

The smart ones will figure it out on their own in time and it's fun to watch the rest twitch. :)

Think we should explain to the children, or simply let them ponder?

Gallo, you of all people know, the children come out of the vaginas of our future. Treat them well and let them lead the way.

Interestingly, those are the three sequential and conjunctive steps to Neo Art's relationships with women...

That is cold....

http://contaxg.com/archive/gwhiz1/prescott/firstsnow.JPG

well I listed the options above I'm sure that you're only considering 2 though.

Gallo, you of all people know, the children come out of the vaginas of our future. Treat them well and let them lead the way.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dignified.png

Courtesy of www.xkcd.com

well I listed the options above I'm sure that you're only considering 2 though.

I can't do number 2. That's the whole problem.

We aren't married. We aren't trying to make children. And every time she slides her smooth, feminine hand down my pants, I start shrieking for Ethan Hawke to come save me. (Not sure where that comes from.)

I can't do number 2. That's the whole problem.

We aren't married. We aren't trying to make children. And every time she slides her smooth, feminine hand down my pants, I start shrieking for Ethan Hawke to come save me. (Not sure where that comes from.)

Perhaps it is subconcious. Or it could be constipation. :D

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dignified.png

Courtesy of www.xkcd.com

XKCD....a comic for every thread. Though, I don't know if this thread even needs more "teh funni."

Perhaps it is subconcious.

I tried to have a therapist look into that...

He hypnotized me and I don't know what happened next.

Then, after about 5 or 6 sessions, he quit returning my phone calls. I sent him some chardonnay, but I haven't heard back.

women in those days took great steps to secure their virtue, propriety, and twats.

Hehehe.

To preserve her anonymity, we'll call her Parrotlikesacookie.

Hmm, this reminds me of someone...

Paro looked awesome in the pinstripes.

Damn straight.

I told her, her lips remind me of a sideways vagina

If I had a nickel for every time a guy told me that...

Interestingly, those are the three sequential and conjunctive steps to Neo Art's relationships with women...

Bahahahahaha, it's funny 'cause it's true!

anyway if you want her to stop maybe when she is sliding her hand down your pants you should say something gross or say that you have genital warts.

Bahahahahaha, it's funny 'cause it's true!

Leave him! Leave him for me! I'm better! I'm a better man!

Warning, not based on any actual criteria or standard of measure and disregards comparative qualities such as appearance, confidence, intellect, height, cock size, income, car, sophistication, sexual prowess, ability to make good waffles, education, empathy, musical talent, style, affinity for animals, back rub skillz, or having finished a Juris Doctorate.

Hmm, this reminds me of someone...


I cannot believe that I didn't see that one. :$

anyway if you want her to stop maybe when she is sliding her hand down your pants you should say something gross or say that you have genital warts.

Her last boyfriend was some Harvard poof with a 14 inch wang who actually did ventriliquism with it, so it shard to gross her out.

Toomey, this is simply epic.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dignified.png

Courtesy of www.xkcd.com

This should be on the seal for the State Bar.

:0 you're on your own.

Toomey, this is simply epic.

I haven't seen you post before, but thanks, dude (rendered in gender neutral sense).

:0 you're on your own.

Truest post on NSG, bro. True that.

of course what do I know. I'm only a sophmore in high school and I have yet to score a date.

Her last boyfriend was some Harvard poof with a 14 inch wang who actually did ventriliquism with it, so it shard to gross her out.

....do you know, I actually had an ex who got kicked out of bed on more than one occasion for precisely this? "STOP SERENADING ME WITH YOUR PENIS" became a catchphrase of that relationship.

I think I get it...

Sgt Toomey, this is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aBYNORgw6E

....do you know, I actually had an ex who got kicked out of bed on more than one occasion for precisely this? "STOP SERENADING ME WITH YOUR PENIS" became a catchphrase of that relationship.

What I don't like is when Neo Art makes it recite sections of Holmes on the Common Law.

Jesus, that was an awkward lunch at Denny's.

Sgt Toomey, this is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aBYNORgw6E

You're too kind, heh.

Cops dont' like my satire though...and my Law Profs REALLY don't like my satire.

What I don't like is when Neo Art makes it recite sections of Holmes on the Common Law.

Jesus, that was an awkward lunch at Denny's.

I'm laughing so hard I literally have tears in my eyes. I just thought you should know that.

I'm laughing so hard I literally have tears in my eyes. I just thought you should know that.

What's really unsettling is when it gets hungry, and reaches up and grabs food off the table.

And when the waiter is so amazed he asks Neo Art to do it again, Neo Art has to explain he can't fit another wad of mozzarella sticks up his ass.

I haven't seen you post before, but thanks, dude (rendered in gender neutral sense).

You're welcome. I mostly do sports RP, although I do hang out in the NSG IRC channel. I appreciate your acknowledgement of my gender status, which is deliberately neutral on this particular forum.

You're welcome. I mostly do sports RP, although I do hang out in the NSG IRC channel. I appreciate your acknowledgement of my gender status, which is deliberately neutral on this particular forum.

S'cool. I used to assume everybody on the internet was a guy, but a lot of cool posters here are women, like ASD, Mur, Poli, Nan, and the inside of Baldwin for Christ.

Every time i get on the forum I become more and more convinced that everything here is controlled by a small group of friends somewhere...

Who eats at Denny's?

What's really unsettling is when it gets hungry, and reaches up and grabs food off the table.

And when the waiter is so amazed he asks Neo Art to do it again, Neo Art has to explain he can't fit another wad of mozzarella sticks up his ass.

:eek:

I didn't even know they HAD mozzarella sticks at Denny's!

I would point out that in my mother's day, women did not have sex before marriage.
In a word? No. (http://www.publichealthreports.org/userfiles/122_1/12_PHR122-1_73-78.pdf)

Even if your mother were 500 years old, it wouldn't be true.

Neo Art and his penis do.

----------------
Now playing: Bagstra P - C'est La Vie (Shining Mix) (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/bagstra+p/track/cest+la+vie+(shining+mix))
via FoxyTunes (http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/)

Since we're going to get spam locked here shortly, let me just say:

Women, start controlling yourselves and stop murdering our culture.

And of course Denny's has cheese sticks. You can get them alone, or in a combo with chicken strips and onion rings. They are awesome. They used to be better, but they changed the breading some years ago. Still good though.

Women, knees together, hearts open to Jesus. Now.

Since we're going to get spam locked here shortly, let me just say:

Women, start controlling yourselves and stop murdering our culture.

And of course Denny's has cheese sticks. You can get them alone, or in a combo with chicken strips and onion rings. They are awesome. They used to be better, but they changed the breading some years ago. Still good though.

Women, knees together, hearts open to Jesus. Now.

you guys were right this guy is awesome.

Since we're going to get spam locked here shortly, let me just say:

Women, start controlling yourselves and stop murdering our culture.

*SNIP*

Women, knees together, hearts open to Jesus. Now.

LOL, that's a good one...

In a word? No. (http://www.publichealthreports.org/userfiles/122_1/12_PHR122-1_73-78.pdf)

Even if your mother were 500 years old, it wouldn't be true.

Do you know who puts together these "public health reports"? Nothing but a bunch of peer-reviewed scientists, LIBERAL scientists, funded by socialist politicians and secular agenda atheists, with nothing but comparatively rigorous analysis of large data sets.

You know what that is? A big bandwagon fallacy, and I won't stand for it.

My observations of my mother's absurdly huge titslings are more convincing to anyone who understands the role of morality.

you guys were right this guy is awesome.

Sometimes I try to verbally spar with him, but I always get summarily owned by his hilarity. I still keep trying, though. :p

Sometimes I try to verbally spar with him, but I always get summarily owned by his hilarity. I still keep trying, though. :p

I don't remember ever winning any of our matches...I'm not LG, G.

I used to spend a lot of time examing my mother's clothing, and I can assure you, empirically, that women in those days took great steps to secure their virtue, propriety, and twats.

*SNIP*

Btw... whut???

Btw... whut???

They did, dude. S'like more web gear than 11 paratroopers in there. WTF.

They did, dude. S'like more web gear than 11 paratroopers in there. WTF.

*facepalm*

This should be on the seal for the State Bar.
YES!! Do it now. No -- make it the new insignia of the American Bar Association!!

What I don't like is when Neo Art makes it recite sections of Holmes on the Common Law.

Jesus, that was an awkward lunch at Denny's.
You bastard! I nearly collapsed a lung from laughing. :D

Every time i get on the forum I become more and more convinced that everything here is controlled by a small group of friends somewhere...

Who eats at Denny's?
Lawyers and losers.

:eek:

I didn't even know they HAD mozzarella sticks at Denny's!
Neo brings his own. He brings it everywhere for that trick.

I swear to the lord. I seriously believe that all the ns forums are controlled by a small group of friends somewhere in the us. Is this assumption correct?

Lawyers and losers.


Heh, latter studying to be former.

I swear to the lord. I seriously believe that all the ns forums are controlled by a small group of friends somewhere in the us. Is this assumption correct?
Um...Sure. Why not? Btw, no, it isn't.

Do you know who puts together these "public health reports"? Nothing but a bunch of peer-reviewed scientists, LIBERAL scientists, funded by socialist politicians and secular agenda atheists, with nothing but comparatively rigorous analysis of large data sets.

You know what that is? A big bandwagon fallacy, and I won't stand for it.

My observations of my mother's absurdly huge titslings are more convincing to anyone who understands the role of morality.
Wait 'til you get to the historians of sexuality. You'll love Foucault.

I swear to the lord. I seriously believe that all the ns forums are controlled by a small group of friends somewhere in the us. Is this assumption correct?

Actually, its through dead drops and extortion.

I swear to the lord. I seriously believe that all the ns forums are controlled by a small group of friends somewhere in the us. Is this assumption correct?

Not as far as I know, but I could just be part of the conspiracy....

Um...Sure. Why not?

Oh good maybe they'll finally let me out of this insane asylum and I can stop wearing this straight jacket.

I swear to the lord. I seriously believe that all the ns forums are controlled by a small group of friends somewhere in the us. Is this assumption correct?

Seriously, we've got posters from all over...some cool UK folks, a few from Brazil, lotta badass Canadians representin' like Shatner, I guess some Netherland peoples all up in here.

Seriously, we've got posters from all over...some cool UK folks, a few from Brazil, lotta badass Canadians representin' like Shatner, I guess some Netherland peoples all up in here.

You kinda forgot the Aussies...

Sgt Toomey, brilliant satire. Unfortunately, this is becoming spam, and I subsist on a diet of spam and spam-like substances... *nom nom*

Oh, and BTW, the forum run by mods spread out through the world, joined via Vulcan mind meld. We are a single mind with many bodies.

Seriously, we've got posters from all over...some cool UK folks, a few from Brazil, lotta badass Canadians representin' like Shatner, I guess some Netherland peoples all up in here.

You think they would allow NS in China?