NationStates Jolt Archive

Inspired by the 8 Deadly Sins thread.

Which of you is going to Hell and why ..

I'm most definitely going to Hell ..

I put beans in my chili
I occasionally, inadvertantly misspell a word
I Occasionally, deliberately use poor grammar

Who am I going to meet in Hell?

(ok, it's spam).

I am going to hell, there's no question about that. I like depraved sex, I live with my partner out of wedlock, I am pro-choice, I drink, I have tattoos... And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

If you actually read the Bible, it's incredibly hard not to go to Hell, so if you're doomed anyway, why not just have fun while you can?

If you actually read the Bible, it's incredibly hard not to go to Hell, so if you're doomed anyway, why not just have fun while you can?

...where did you get the crazy idea that the bible is accurate?

If you actually read the Bible, it's incredibly hard not to go to Hell, so if you're doomed anyway, why not just have fun while you can?

Amen.

Hell is where the party's at, so why the Hell wouldn't I go?

I'm a Wiccan, so yea I'm already damned.

Hell if the Southern Baptist are right, then I've been damned even when I was a Catholic!

*laughs*

...where did you get the crazy idea that the bible is accurate?

I don't think it's accurate, but I'm assuming this thread is talking about Hell in Christian mythology. Anyway, seeing as you saw Jehovah die, shouldn't you be telling us what to do next?

I am god none of you is going to hell. I've made some improvements the last century in heaven beer volcano and a stripper factory have been installed among many other things.

I put catsup on my hot dogs. Definitely hell-worthy.

But Jolt recognizes "ketchup" instead of "catsup" as a word, so I will have good company.

I don't think it's accurate, but I'm assuming this thread is talking about Hell in Christian mythology. Anyway, seeing as you saw Jehovah die, shouldn't you be telling us what to do next?

that's easy -- do good things.

that's easy -- do good things.

And then what happens?

I put catsup on my hot dogs. Definitely hell-worthy.

But Jolt recognizes "ketchup" instead of "catsup" as a word, so I will have good company.

Ah damnit, if your gonna be calling it 'catsup' and not ketchup I really don't want to go to hell with you.

And then what happens?

I assume you eventually die, get rewarded for a while, and are then reborn into a better life.

I assume you eventually die, get rewarded for a while, and are then reborn into a better life.

You assume? But surely if you had the power to witness the death of Jehovah you must know what happens after death?

You assume? But surely if you had the power to witness the death of Jehovah you must know what happens after death?

Generally things get a bit smelly.

I'm pretty sure that if there is a hell, I'm guaranteed the deepest pit. I "defaced" a bible.

I'm pretty sure that if there is a hell, I'm guaranteed the deepest pit. I "defaced" a bible.

what you used page 666 to roll a joint ?

I'm pretty sure that if there is a hell, I'm guaranteed the deepest pit. I "defaced" a bible.

Please go on.

To hell with Hell, I'm going to the Elysian Fields.

I may have... you know, wiped my ass with it... At the time, I just found out how my country, the Philippines was fucked over by Christians. Understandable, right?

I may have... you know, wiped my ass with it... At the time, I just found out how my country, the Philippines was fucked over by Christians. Understandable, right?

Everywhere's fucked over by Christians. What religion are you, incidentally?

I'm a closet-atheist, raised Catholic.

I may have... you know, wiped my ass with it... At the time, I just found out how my country, the Philippines was fucked over by Christians. Understandable, right?

Welcome to Hell. We've got 7 different flaming pools for your despair, an all you can eat buffet open to none and poker night is Thursday and Saturday. This Friday we have a back breaking limbo planned for 8:00.

Welcome to Hell. We've got 7 different flaming pools for your despair, an all you can eat buffet open to none and poker night is Thursday and Saturday. This Friday we have a back breaking limbo planned for 8:00.

I'm fucked, huh? Well, Saturday poker night doesn't sound that bad...

All clowns go to Heaven. We're like dogs that way. *nod*

All clowns go to Heaven. We're like dogs that way. *nod*

All clowns?

http://search.aol.com/aol/image?invocationType=rboxImgDtls&query=Evil%20Clowns&icid=snap-pic&flv=1

All clowns?

http://search.aol.com/aol/image?invocationType=rboxImgDtls&query=Evil%20Clowns&icid=snap-pic&flv=1

Yep. :)

Don't worry, we mostly stay in our own little section. Mostly. :D

Meh, I don't know who or who isn't going. Being pretty mild, personally, I'd say I have a fair chance of going to heaven if the Bible's true.

Everywhere's fucked over by Christians.

Not always -- in soviet russia, Jesus worships YOU!!! :p

I'm fucked, huh? Well, Saturday poker night doesn't sound that bad...

That would depend upon what kind (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_II#Death) of poker.

As for me, I hope to get special dispensation for entry into Heaven due to my years as a forum mod (we may not be paid, but we shall be rewarded in the hereafter!) ... or I would, if only I wasn't sure that God was aware of my intentions to overthrow Him and institute a democracy. Let's hear it for regime change!

I'm an atheist who likes to dabble in theology and philosophy. This latter may be the sticking point, since Yahweh is notably indisposed to people holding Him up to criticism.

Those who choose to go there will get there. And then they may regret their choice, but it will be too late.

Unless you follow Niven and Pournelle's Inferno and Escape from Hell.

Hell (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway)? Yeah, I may very well go there one day, for a vacation.

Hell (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway)? Yeah, I may very well go there one day, for a vacation.

That made me just realize I used to live and work in a town nicknamed 'Hell' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_Lake,_Alberta) which is why my location says Hell. Of course I no longer live there so it should be changed.

Not always -- in soviet russia, Jesus worships YOU!!! :p

So how did Jehovah die exactly?

Meh, I don't know who or who isn't going. Being pretty mild, personally, I'd say I have a fair chance of going to heaven if the Bible's true.

It has nothing to do with being a good person. According to the Bible itself, you must be a Christian and acknowledge Jesus as your personal saviour.

Those who choose to go there will get there. And then they may regret their choice, but it will be too late.

Unless you follow Niven and Pournelle's Inferno and Escape from Hell.

Those books look good, I'm tempted to buy them.

Anyway, I already know how to escape from Hell: http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF142-Satans_Hell.jpg

Inspired by the 8 Deadly Sins thread.

Which of you is going to Hell and why ..

I'm most definitely going to Hell ..

I put beans in my chili
I occasionally, inadvertantly misspell a word
I Occasionally, deliberately use poor grammar

Who am I going to meet in Hell?

(ok, it's spam).

I believe in Reincarnation, I believe in three gods (Vishnu, Shiva, Brahman, the holy trinity of Hinduism), I don't care about abortion, I swear constantly, I will give oral to any woman with a pulse and no STDS in my accepted age range, I approve of pre-marital sex, hate most other Gods besides my own, and am between atheism and belief in Deities. Also, I am an Objectivist.

I most definitely am. I drink, I smoke, I have sex out of wedlock. Plus I break the 10 commandments as often as I can.

I believe in Reincarnation, I believe in three gods (Vishnu, Shiva, Brahman, the holy trinity of Hinduism), I don't care about abortion, I swear constantly, I will give oral to any woman with a pulse and no STDS in my accepted age range, I approve of pre-marital sex, hate most other Gods besides my own, and am between atheism and belief in Deities. Also, I am an Objectivist.

In short, we're future room mates.

Plus I break the 10 commandments as often as I can.

I doubt you've committed adultery, killed, worshiped other gods or made idols of said gods though.

I am SO going to hell.

I fap daily
I'm atheist (agnostic, really)
I'm lazy
I'm lusty
I do astrology and tarot

And a load of other reasons. :tongue:

I doubt you've committed adultery, killed, worshiped other gods or made idols of said gods though.

1)I am the Lord your God and you shall have no other gods before me.
He ain't my god. This is my god: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
2)You shall not make for yourself an idol
I dunno what that means.
3)You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your God
I do that all the god damned time.
4)Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
Yeah right.
5)Honor your father and mother
Pfft.:rolleyes:
6)You shall not murder
haven't done that (yet).
7)You shall not commit adultery
Nor that.
8)You shall not steal
Quite often.
9)You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbour
Envy? Often.
10)You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
Lie? All the time.

Oh, Im definitely going to hell, Ive hit up most of the Deadly Sins, and Ive thrown around enough Blaspheme to make an Atheist blush, :p

I cant wait to use my talents to undermine Lucifer...

1)I am the Lord your God and you shall have no other gods before me.
He ain't my god. This is my god: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
2)You shall not make for yourself an idol
I dunno what that means.
3)You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your God
I do that all the god damned time.
4)Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
Yeah right.
5)Honor your father and mother
Pfft.:rolleyes:
6)You shall not murder
haven't done that (yet).
7)You shall not commit adultery
Nor that.
8)You shall not steal
Quite often.
9)You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbour
Envy? Often.
10)You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
Lie? All the time.

This might help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkRYaMiP4K8

I hope you didn't laugh, or you're going to Hell. ;)

This might help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkRYaMiP4K8

I hope you didn't laugh, or you're going to Hell. ;)

Then, I am most certainly going to hell.

Depends which hell you're talking about...
The Christian hell, most certainly, count me in.
After all, I'm a woman who enjoys sex.

Depends which hell you're talking about...
The Christian hell, most certainly, count me in.
After all, I'm a woman who enjoys sex.

:eek: That is unacceptable.

:eek: That is unacceptable.


Yeah, well, my cross to bear and all that... I heard Satan is a lot more understanding in that respect than god. So I figure I'll take hell ;)

those books look good, i'm tempted to buy them.

Anyway, i already know how to escape from hell: http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=pbf142-satans_hell.jpg

lol

I'm a Wiccan, so yea I'm already damned.

Hell if the Southern Baptist are right, then I've been damned even when I was a Catholic!

*laughs*

You are returned! :D

I'm going to hell. I make jokes about the most inappropriate of subjects, jokes I can remember over the past few weeks insulted jews, blacks, the disabled, the cop who got shot in northern ireland and gays.

I also took the piss out of Jade Goody, god might give me some kind of time off for good behaviour for that one.

I deny, quite vehemently, the divinity of Jesus Christ.

I have a whole host of 'Get out of Hell free' cards, it'll be a tense game of trumps between myself and St. Peter.

I'm not going to Hell, on my deathbed I will attack the nearest person viciously and with the full intention of killing them, so that I will die in battle and instead go to Valhalla.
If anyone knows how to party its the Norse!

I have more chains than Jacob Marley. Purgatory is the best I can hope for likely. I am really trying to avoid the whole eternal damnation thing. Seriously I am really working at it.

Brings to mind Bill & Ted: We were totally lied to by our album covers.

I have a whole host of 'Get out of Hell free' cards, it'll be a tense game of trumps between myself and St. Peter.

Watch out for Battleship and Twister is right out.

I have a whole host of 'Get out of Hell free' cards, it'll be a tense game of trumps between myself and St. Peter.

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t185/utilityknife/gohfcard_small.jpg

This might help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkRYaMiP4K8

I hope you didn't laugh, or you're going to Hell. ;)

Are you kidding? I'm going to write down those three commandments and start my own business... I mean.. religion, based off of those.

I expect the Xians expect I'm going to hell for being a Buddhist among other things...

I am god none of you is going to hell. I've made some improvements the last century in heaven beer volcano and a stripper factory have been installed among many other things.

RAmen!

All clowns go to Heaven. We're like dogs that way. *nod*

What about Wayne Gracey?

Meh, I don't know who or who isn't going. Being pretty mild, personally, I'd say I have a fair chance of going to heaven if the Bible's true.

Well, did you accept Jesus Christ as your presonal Lord and Savior?

You are returned! :D

Yea, and look upon me my child, for I has return to ye. Yea look upon me and know me, but if you really want to know me, then my hotel room # is 221. ;)

I'm fucked, huh? Well, Saturday poker night doesn't sound that bad...
This reminded me of a good joke:

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell.

Devil: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin’ man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Tab. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin’ lungs out. If you get cancer, it’s okay — you’re already dead.

Guy: Golly!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble, too.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you
name it. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don’t mean…?

Devil: That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of the Titanic. You can do all the drugs you want, and you’ll never die — you’re already dead.
Guy: Neat! I never realized hell was such a happenin’ place!

Devil: You gay?
Guy: No.

Devil: Oh, you’re gonna hate Fridays.
:D

There is no hell. But if there were, there is no doubt I would end up there...I'm too insulting and enjoy schadenfreude.

I expect the Xians expect I'm going to hell for being a Buddhist among other things...



RAmen!

Nah you can believe in Buddha just believe in Christ too. Just Kidding. You guys have your own version of hell. Different types of pain for so many years and then it changes to some other type.


If I read it right Nirvana = Oblivion doesn't sound like heaven to me.

What about Wayne Gracey?


You mean John Wayne Gacy?

He's in Heaven, but they gave him the room by the noisy icemaker. *nod*

I'm finding it hard for those American Christians that advocate the torture and killing of people to be in Heaven. I don't really think you can be a Christian and think that way. It makes me mind want to assplode.

I'm finding it hard for those American Christians that advocate the torture and killing of people to be in Heaven. I don't really think you can be a Christian and think that way. It makes me mind want to assplode.

Remember, many Christians think that Heaven will consist of them being spectators, along with God, to the sufferings of all us poor damned souls in Hell. So, it sort of follows, that if you advocate the torture of other souls in Heaven, then you can advocate the torture of other people on Earth.

I'm most definitely not going to hell.

Well, did you accept Jesus Christ as your presonal Lord and Savior?

As much as an agnostic can, yeah.

I can't decide which hell to go to... All the major religions' hells seem so different and wierd I might just not bother.