NationStates Jolt Archive


Funny News Headlines

SaintB
22-03-2009, 12:06
What are some newspaper/internet news article headlines that made you laugh?


Man Struck by Lighting Charged with Battery

Nike Says Tiger Woods Plays with Own Balls

Ten Commandments: Supreme Court Says Some Ok Some Not
SaintB
22-03-2009, 12:10
After a web search

One Armed Man Applauds Kindess of Strangers

Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25
Brutland and Norden
22-03-2009, 12:30
Not exactly a headline, but...
http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/7301/image053t.jpg
sorry for the poor image, but that's the caption of the picture in the newspaper when Manila Archbishop Jaime Cardinal Sin passed away....

And to further beat the dead horse with the oft-quoted lists: :p
Killers Cancel Gig After Flowers Gets Sick
Eye drops off shelf
Prostitutes appeal to pope
Kids make nutritious snacks
Stolen painting found by tree
Lung cancer in women mushrooms
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Miners refuse to work after death
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Drunk gets nine months in violin case
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
Complaints about NBA referees growing ugly
Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
12 on their way to cruise among dead in plane crash
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
2 sisters reunited after 18 years at checkout counter
Man eating piranha mistakenly sold as pet fish
Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Include your children when baking cookies
Old school pillars are replaced by alumni
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Two Soviet ships collide, one dies
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Lack of brains hinders research
Red tape holds up new bridge
Squad helps dog bite victim
Iraqi head seeks arms
Hershey bars protest
New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents
Stolen painting found by tree
Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
War Dims Hopes for Peace
William Kelly was fed secretary
Organ festival ends in smashing climax
Man is fatally slain
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

On another note, an old news.
Jerusalem? Never heard of it
Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:05 AM BST148
Email This Article | Print This Article | RSS
[-] Text [+]

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Something always gets lost in translation, but usually not an entire city.

"Jerusalem. There is no such city!" the Jerusalem municipality said in the English-language version of a sightseeing brochure it had published originally in Hebrew.

The correct translation: "Jerusalem. There is no city like it!"

Carrying a photograph of the brochure, Israel's Maariv newspaper said on Wednesday tens of thousands of flyers had been distributed before city hall realised its mistake.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved. | Learn more about Reuters
SaintB
22-03-2009, 13:53
Obama beats Hillary in Wisconsin. Hillary runs to Texas.

The forum is dead this morning, I have NO entertainment :(
Lunatic Goofballs
22-03-2009, 14:03
Dog Eats Cash, Owner Picks Up Deposits

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing

Police Begins Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings Of Isolation

Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Brutland and Norden
22-03-2009, 14:03
The forum is dead this morning, I have NO entertainment :(
I killed the forum.
Lunatic Goofballs
22-03-2009, 14:04
Ooh!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Non Aligned States
22-03-2009, 14:12
Ooh!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Whaaat, you didn't know? *munches*
SaintB
22-03-2009, 14:17
Whaaat, you didn't know? *munches*

You better call somebody!
Brutland and Norden
22-03-2009, 14:22
Ooh!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Yeah. It says,

Include your children when baking cookies

Mmmmm.... gives a whole new meaning to "Girl Scout Cookies"! :)
SaintB
22-03-2009, 14:24
Yeah. It says,

Include your children when baking cookies

Mmmmm.... gives a whole new meaning to "Girl Scout Cookies"! :)

I don't want these Girl Scout Cookies, there are no Girl Scouts in them.
East Tofu
22-03-2009, 14:24
Moscow in flames; missiles headed towards New York; film at eleven.
The_pantless_hero
22-03-2009, 14:31
Dog Eats Cash, Owner Picks Up Deposits


Which is just what it sounds like -_-
Brutland and Norden
22-03-2009, 14:31
I don't want these Girl Scout Cookies, there are no Girl Scouts in them.
But now that everyone knows that Kids make nutritious snacks and that we should include children when making cookies, the will soon have Girl Scouts in them! :D
JuNii
24-03-2009, 21:28
on my pager...
Vatacan Supports Pope Condom Stand, Support Mounts.
and from Headlines (http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/Mercedes-Benz_Concert_Series/headlines/index.shtml)...
http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3728/H_3728_02.jpg

http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3728/H_3728_08.jpg
Wilgrove
24-03-2009, 21:52
Child's death ruins couple's holiday
Infertility unlikely to be passed on
How to combat that feeling of helplessness with illegal drugs
Tmutarakhan
24-03-2009, 22:46
Undecided Voters Could Go Either Way