NationStates Jolt Archive

...open with aerial view, NSG, high above the threads...

Nationstates General, The Intrawebs, 2:07 am


Frisbeeteria, Hotrodia, and McGruff the Porn Dog ("Help Take a Bite Out of Inappropriate Adult Links and Other Violations of the Terms of Service") are in the squad room, getting their briefing. Fris is wearing "Lt. Dangle" style short-shorts for some reason.

"Okay, people, listen up. Apparently Bush said something reasonable about Obama, so we're expecting a mix of piss and gloating. HR, you're in the right wing district today, so make sure "Little Reaganville" stays peaceful. We've also noticed the Evo v Creo crowd has been quiet. Its either come to some kind of equilibrium or there's going to be a suicide bombing. If its the latter, we'll send Kryo..."

**suddenly, alarm klaxons go off***

"The fu-?"

...Katganistan rushes in wearing only a towel (around her hair)..."We've got a hostage taker down in holding!!!!!"

.....(blank, yet utterly unblinking stares)...

"Guys? Seriously. We should do something now."

.....

Text in your vote! Help decide who took whom hostage and why!

The last issue of 100 Bullets has been delayed. It was supposed to come out today, and then we'd all be gone, but now its not coming out until next month for some goddamn reason. So, we're not going back to straughn's brain, africa, the vets hospital, death, or homophobic self-immolation until then.

You aren't as funny as Jhahanam was.

You aren't as funny as Jhahanam was.

He's not funny at all since being rejected by the French Foreign Legion. That's why he's going back to Straughn's brain.

In Straughn's brain, you don't have to live homeless in Aubagne, eating putrefying crepes out of a trash can.

In Straughn's brain, the gendarmes don't call you "petit american pussy" and use you for taser practice.

In Straughn's brain, tourists don't throw coffee on you for staring at their wives cleavage.

We'll see if he's so funny now.

The beavers took the Nice Beaver...thread hostage after being reintroduced to Britain.

The beavers took the Nice Beaver...thread hostage after being reintroduced to Britain.

Finally, Hotrodia, Frisbee, and McGruff are roused from their fixation on Katganistan's dripping, soapy body...

Katganistan shouts, "Beavers!"

Frisbee: "....uh....."

Hotrodia (mumbling melodically): "More than meets the eye..."

Katganistan: "No, Beavers! A bunch of furry little slappers have taken a thread hostage down in holding!"

Everyone rushes down, where a six foot beaver has a choke hold on Londim, pulling him against the bars...

Beaver: We have rights! Natural rights!

NSG Poster: I dunno...do natural rights really exist? I mean, after all-

Beaver: I WILL CHEW HIS ARTERIES OPEN!

Hotrodia: C'mon now, attack the post, not the poster...

Beaver (to Katganistan): Do you, uh...do you know your cooter is showing?

Hotrodia: C'mon now, attack the post, not the poster...


Literal lol.

Finally, Hotrodia, Frisbee, and McGruff are roused from their fixation on Katganistan's dripping, soapy body...

Katganistan shouts, "Beavers!"

Frisbee: "....uh....."

Hotrodia (mumbling melodically): "More than meets the eye..."

Katganistan: "No, Beavers! A bunch of furry little slappers have taken a thread hostage down in holding!"

Everyone rushes down, where a six foot beaver has a choke hold on Londim, pulling him against the bars...

Beaver: We have rights! Natural rights!

NSG Poster: I dunno...do natural rights really exist? I mean, after all-

Beaver: I WILL CHEW HIS ARTERIES OPEN!

Hotrodia: C'mon now, attack the post, not the poster...

Beaver (to Katganistan): Do you, uh...do you know your cooter is showing?

Laughing myself incontinent. Thank you...*smells the result*...and damn you.