NationStates Jolt Archive

So here is the article that made me think of this.

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/03/15/2009-03-15_face_the_truth_how_your_features_reveal_.html

and here is the wikipedia entry to compare it to.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology

So WTF? Is the news going to start reporting on scientist who claim that the earth is flat and refer to them as "experts"? Why we are at it why not label biochemists as "experts" on evolution. For me when someone is labeled an "expert" it carries a certain air of them not spouting BS. Anyone else have a view of this.

Oddly, I already knew what phrenology was.

I learned it from watching "Men At Work".

Of course you'd think that, you have the brain pan of a coach driver.

So here is the article that made me think of this.

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/03/15/2009-03-15_face_the_truth_how_your_features_reveal_.html

and here is the wikipedia entry to compare it to.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology

So WTF? Is the news going to start reporting on scientist who claim that the earth is flat and refer to them as "experts"? Why we are at it why not label biochemists as "experts" on evolution. For me when someone is labeled an "expert" it carries a certain air of them not spouting BS. Anyone else have a view of this.
Wow. You would think the fact that we've determined genetics are behind phenotype would rule out this sort of nonsense, but people will never cease to stun you.

BERNARD MADOFF

His face says, "I care about you - and your money." Yet his eyes are deepset and slant down, showing someone who tends to be pessimistic and give up, and maybe do the dishonest thing. When the going gets tough, rather than be honest, he'll keep secrets. His lips aren't even visible - that's a sign he doesn't care as much as you think.

???

Your personality is written all over your face, says Jean Haner, an expert in understanding facial features.

Her expert website:

Please join Jean Haner in workshops to learn the wisdom you can find in the curve of your cheek, the slant of your nose, even the style of your hair! This is a fun and fascinating experience but with profound implications for deep and effective personal change.

http://www.wisdomofyourface.com/

Explains why Asians are all alike!

From her blog:

Barack Obama’s face may be one reason he got elected!

http://wisdomofyourface.com/blog/


How she was enlightened of this wonderful life changing skill:

Q: How did you get into this field?

Nearly 30 years ago, I married into a Chinese family and first learned about face reading from my very traditional mother-in-law. The rest of the family just considered it a superstition and was rather embarrassed by all this. At first I wasn’t much interested, as it seemed to be a very limiting way of looking at people, mostly concerned with someone’s face being “lucky” or “unlucky.” It wasn't until I studied more about the principles behind these “superstitions” that I began to see how they concealed a brilliant wisdom that could help you live life to your fullest potential.

And face reading helped explain why my mother-in-law had to be so tolerant of my marrying her son — it seems I didn’t have any lucky “moneybags” on my face! But she still graciously welcomed me into her family.

???

Yes, I have a few others...

Saddam Hussein: that decomposed look tells me he was hanged after being a dictator of, probably, some middle eastern country.

Michael Jackson: the plastic, melting look tells me he's probably quite deranged.

Iz phrenologist!

Of course you'd think that, you have the brain pan of a coach driver.
That may be, but his broad nose and heavy eyebrows mark him as a rural individual. Well adapted to the open country, but without the capacity for even basic civility and urban bearing that a coach driver needs.
The 19th century was great. The British flag was all over the fucking place. Opium was an easily available wonder drug that could cure anything and had no side effects or problems whatsoever. Tobacco didn't cause cancer. Ireland was united. Fat people could wear top hats and carry canes. Technology was going to save us from everything, or, at least, it wasn't going to completely destroy the entire world. The Russians and Chinese knew their place. And trains were, holy shit, the most amazing things ever. Look at it go! Wheeeeeee!

Yes, I have a few others...

Saddam Hussein: that decomposed look tells me he was hanged after being a dictator of, probably, some middle eastern country.

Michael Jackson: the plastic, melting look tells me he's probably quite deranged.

Iz phrenologist!

Yeah, after I read that "care about you and your money" part I pretty much tl;dred the rest of it.

That may be, but his broad nose and heavy eyebrows mark him as a rural individual. Well adapted to the open country, but without the capacity for even basic civility and urban bearing that a coach driver needs.
The 19th century was great. The British flag was all over the fucking place. Opium was an easily available wonder drug that could cure anything and had no side effects or problems whatsoever. Tobacco didn't cause cancer. Ireland was united. Fat people could wear top hats and carry canes. Technology was going to save us from everything, or, at least, it wasn't going to completely destroy the entire world. The Russians and Chinese knew their place. And trains were, holy shit, the most amazing things ever. Look at it go! Wheeeeeee!

Sometimes I love the things you say, Fiddly :fluffle:

Ears: Big ears are a positive trait: They suggest a strong sense of confidence and the ability to take risks.

What a complete load of crap. How does the size of the ears that you are born with determine whether you are a risk taker?

Reminds me very much of astrology.

What a complete load of crap. How does the size of the ears that you are born with determine whether you are a risk taker?

Reminds me very much of astrology.

*measures distance between eyes*

Yes, just as I expected.

Of course you'd think that, you have the brain pan of a coach driver.

Wasn't it a stagecoach tilter?

Phrenology is about the bumps on one's head. Facial features are something else, the name of which I can never remember.

Oddly, I already knew what phrenology was.

I learned it from watching "Men At Work".
I learned about it watching Bugs Bunny cartoons.

"Let me read the lumps on your head!"

"I don't have any lumps on my head!"

*character A kabongs character B with a frying pan* "You do now! HAHAHAHA!"

Ah, old vaudeville humor. *nostalgic*

if only we could get the economy of the 19th century.

Wasn't it a stagecoach tilter?

No, that was Smithers.

BERNARD MADOFF

His face says, "I care about you - and your money." Yet his eyes are deepset and slant down, showing someone who tends to be pessimistic and give up, and maybe do the dishonest thing. When the going gets tough, rather than be honest, he'll keep secrets. His lips aren't even visible - that's a sign he doesn't care as much as you think.

???
That's the beauty of these sorts of scams: everything is hindsight. She can assess Bernie as being dishonest after his arrest, Obama as being a winner after his election, A-Rod as being difficult in relationships after he fails.
You just know that, had McCain won, she would have 'read' into his face the traits that 'helped' him win.
It's exactly how that dumb Bible-code works. After major events, they put out books about how it was predicted in the bible.

I'm only interested in these things if they predict stuff before-hand.

I don't know, I'm a great believer in retroactive phrenology.

I don't know, I'm a great believer in retroactive phrenology.
I'm more of a believer in proactive phrenology. If someone is demonstrating traits I dislike, I beat them around the head with a baseball bat until they no longer displease me.
You would be amazed how honest, polite, respectful and compromising people with flat noses, large lips and 31 or fewer teeth are.

Phrenology is about the bumps on one's head. Facial features are something else, the name of which I can never remember.

Point is they are equally bogus. Not that they are the same thing.

Phrenology is about the bumps on one's head. Facial features are something else, the name of which I can never remember.

That's what I thought, but I didn't want to be wrong. The arrangement of my freckles indicates I have a difficult time accepting criticism.

I would like to see her analyze the faces of some completely ordinary, unknown people. Otherwise it's pretty much useless.

My favorite part was the bit about cosmetic surgery to get rid of wrinkles and how we might have to "learn the lesson again" or something. If I want to forget a specific memory, do you think she can chart my face to find out which line or scar I need to remove?

I'm more of a believer in proactive phrenology. If someone is demonstrating traits I dislike, I beat them around the head with a baseball bat until they no longer displease me.
You would be amazed how honest, polite, respectful and compromising people with flat noses, large lips and 31 or fewer teeth are.

Waitaminute, how many teeth do MOST people have?? I only have 24! Of course, I had four pulled... but that's still only 30!

Waitaminute, how many teeth do MOST people have?? I only have 24! Of course, I had four pulled... but that's still only 30!

24 + 4 = 30?

20 milk teeth, 32 teeth overall, you're clearly some kind of alien, unsurprising given you live in California.

Are you not some kind of teacher?

20 milk teeth, 32 teeth overall, you're clearly some kind of alien, unsurprising given you live in California.
California is no longer the state of diversity, they have redeemed themselves.

Just wait for Proposition 9, they'll deport him to the homeworld.

California is no longer the state of diversity, they have redeemed themselves.

Just wait for Proposition 9, they'll deport him to the homeworld.

There's not a rocket in the world that can take him that far. And I doubt they want him back.

I'm more of a believer in proactive phrenology. If someone is demonstrating traits I dislike, I beat them around the head with a baseball bat until they no longer displease me.

See, retroactive phrenology is a similar principle. You take a hammer and hit them in the head until you raise the right bumps to give them a more pleasant personality.

Thank you, there is nothing quite like starting ones day with an appropriate dose of stupid (and I read this AND the Chuck Norris thread).

You know this didn't so much make me think of Phrenology as this guy: Lombroso (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cesare_Lombroso) - he was wrong then, she is wrong now (though for added hilarity, read up on what Lomroso thought was the cause of female crime).