NationStates Jolt Archive


M.O.D.S, the TV show, episode 1 (cue Bad Boys soundtrack)

Hammurab
06-03-2009, 04:16
*open with aerial view of nationstates*

Nationstates, The Intrawebs, Southside, 10:52 pm

Officer Kat Ganistan, 6 year veteran MOD

"I became a mod because I wanted to help people, give back to the neighborhood...my dad was a sys op on one of the first BBS boards, his dad used to supervise an actual cork board...I think his grand dad was some kind of pig farmer..."

*radio breaks in* "uh, Foxtrot Uniform Six Niner, we have reports of a flaming in a thread on abortion, please respond, over"

"Roger that, rolling....okay, so these abortion threads are flamier than a Boston lawyer in a miata, but its something people like to talk about...we'll go over, see what's going on..."

*squad car rolls up on thread, two men are wrestling on the lawn where Trostia has Neo Art in a headlock...*

"Its not a parasite! Its nothing like a parasite!"

*Neo Art grabs Trostia's hips, lifts him up and drops him rectum-first onto a fire hydrant while screaming "It has many biological characteristics of a parasite!"**

**Trostia, unable to dislodge himself, rabbit punches Neo Art in the scroat**

"Terms like that don't help this debate!!!"

Katganistan goes to the trunk of the squad car...she looks over the tools of the trade...the ban-hammer, the deck of yellow and red cards, a set of threadlocks, and, for some reason, a cheese grater with dried blood and ass lube.

Three minutes later, Neo Art is being led over to the car with his shirt off, shouting "You assholes better get me a good lawyer! From Yale, or Harvard...not Brown! Not fucking Bro- SLAM"

Cut to Katganistan behind the wheel...."Is it worth it? Yeah. At the end of the day, protecting civil debate is more than a job. Its an opportunity to see people from all over the world, at their best, and at their wo....at their....NEO! STOP PRESSING THAT AGAINST THE PARTITION! PUT IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!"

Demand permitting, join us next time when the rookie on the MOD squad, Kryozerkia, has to deal with Muravyets taking Jocabia hostage with a corkscrew and a bullwhip in a thread that started on the merits of cybersex and went to the phrase "I'll use your own fucking windpipe to oxygenate the fire I'm cooking your eyes out with!!!!" And that's page 2!
Anti-Social Darwinism
06-03-2009, 05:00
And don't forget the Australian version. Ard starts out to discipline a jacker/flamer and, being bribed with s'mores, joins in the fun.
SaintB
06-03-2009, 15:03
I lol'd, good job.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
06-03-2009, 15:59
Lmao!
Neo Art
06-03-2009, 16:15
NEO! STOP PRESSING THAT AGAINST THE PARTITION! PUT IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!"

if I had a nickle....
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
06-03-2009, 16:17
Didn't you wander off into the woods to die, or was that a different you?
Trostia
06-03-2009, 16:50
Hmph! I never argued those things. Leave it to Hollywood to edit and splice beyond all recognition.
JuNii
06-03-2009, 17:37
LOL!!! nice...
Rambhutan
06-03-2009, 18:25
Once upon a time there were three beautiful girls who went to the mod academy...
Western Mercenary Unio
06-03-2009, 19:11
...

What?
Jhahanam with a Goatee
06-03-2009, 19:13
Didn't you wander off into the woods to die, or was that a different you?

The supply list grew big and expensive, especially the emergency transmitter. Gonna try and do it this summer.
Poliwanacraca
06-03-2009, 19:23
NEO! STOP PRESSING THAT AGAINST THE PARTITION! PUT IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!

Laughing. So. Hard. :D

Also, I'd like to call these MODS to report a case of fraud. NSG was promised a debate between NA and GoAR some time ago, and while we held up our end of the bargain (voting on topics and being amused), the parties in question have completely failed to deliver. :p
Pure Metal
06-03-2009, 19:52
awesome *grins*
Anti-Social Darwinism
06-03-2009, 20:00
Laughing. So. Hard. :D

Also, I'd like to call these MODS to report a case of fraud. NSG was promised a debate between NA and GoAR some time ago, and while we held up our end of the bargain (voting on topics and being amused), the parties in question have completely failed to deliver. :p

Perhaps we should circulate a petition.
DaWoad
06-03-2009, 20:01
*grabs popcorn*
*stares expectantly at screen waiting for episode two*
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
07-03-2009, 00:01
The supply list grew big and expensive, especially the emergency transmitter. Gonna try and do it this summer.
AAAAAH!!
Quit shifting. Pick an existence and stick with it, goddammit.
Svalbardania
07-03-2009, 01:01
AAAAAH!!
Quit shifting. Pick an existence and stick with it, goddammit.

It's more fun this way. Like a box of chocolates, you never know what shape or form is going to cause you to finally have that cardiac arrest.
Knights of Liberty
07-03-2009, 01:06
Im never included in Ghost of HammJhann Rynd's weird little stories.

Which may be for the better. :p
Conserative Morality
07-03-2009, 01:21
So... Fricken'... Epic...:D
JuNii
07-03-2009, 01:24
*grabs popcorn*
*stares expectantly at screen waiting for episode two*

Ha! got you one better.

TIVO!!!

*tries to hook up pc to TIVO...*
Krytenia
07-03-2009, 01:40
Question is though, who's going to be the Peter Griffin laughing at the screen just as he's about to get busted?

*blink*

...I've just set myself up for pain, haven't I?
Svalbardania
07-03-2009, 01:54
Question is though, who's going to be the Peter Griffin laughing at the screen just as he's about to get busted?

*blink*

...I've just set myself up for pain, haven't I?

*busts Krytenia*