NationStates Jolt Archive

I read the story and, at first, felt all warm and fuzzy because a dying nine-year-old girl got her dying wish. Then the story started bothering me. Am I just an unpleasant old lady, or is my feeling that this was not altogether the best thing valid? I don't have anything on which to base this but a general feeling of creepiness and, as most of you know, I do prefer facts to feelings when making judgements.

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/02/24/dying-girls-last-wish-a-wedding/

(stupid ad)

Am I just an unpleasant old lady, or is my feeling that this was not altogether the best thing valid?Seeing as it wasn't a real wedding, I do think that it was a good thing.

*shrugs* I'm not bothered by it. Although I do think the kids got ripped off, I mean not a real wedding? One of them is going to die in a couple of weeks, might as well make it real.

One of them is going to die in a couple of weeks, might as well make it real.Is the word I'm thinking of spelled "consemate," "consimate," or something else I didn't think of?

Is the word I'm thinking of spelled "consemate," "consimate," or something else I didn't think of?
Consummate. :)

Fergi America;14561120']Consummate. :)Yes, that. Kinda hard to give a nine year old a real marriage because of this.

Am I just an unpleasant old lady, or is my feeling that this was not altogether the best thing valid?

Who says it can't be both? ;) I don't know, it's a little odd, but the girl is dying, so it probably won't be a problem either way much longer.

Huh...

this reminds me of a twist you'd see in an anime...

...still, I think it was a nice thing, not creepy in any way.

I think I get what's bothering me about it now. It's not the wedding per se, but the whole feel of publicity stunt that I'm getting from it. At the end of the article there's a plea, subtly done I concede, for donations with a link to a group called Grace. (http://www.gracegrapevine.org/). I suppose it's reasonable, after all there're financial as well as emotional issues with this, but I feel a bit emotionally blackmailed.

Is the word I'm thinking of spelled "consemate," "consimate," or something else I didn't think of?

Fergi America;14561120']Consummate. :)

Yes, that. Kinda hard to give a nine year old a real marriage because of this.

Married people have sex? I thought it ends once you do get married! :D Had to be done.

Seriously though, so they can't have sex, whoopie doo. The adults in this situation just better be glad that 9 year olds are easy to manipulate and satisfied with a fake wedding.

are we going to make a sad thread?

Jayla organized it all, from the colors, menu (chicken enchiladas)

well it looks like I'm going to hell

I think I get what's bothering me about it now. It's not the wedding per se, but the whole feel of publicity stunt that I'm getting from it. At the end of the article there's a plea, subtly done I concede, for donations with a link to a group called Grace. (http://www.gracegrapevine.org/). I suppose it's reasonable, after all there're financial as well as emotional issues with this, but I feel a bit emotionally blackmailed.

have you heard of Jade Goody?

Thats from one angle cute and heart warming beyond words, on another just a little.. wierd.

have you heard of Jade Goody?

I don't really mind at all that she's selling coverage of her final days. If I was in her situation I would be doing the exact same thing

I don't really mind at all that she's selling coverage of her final days. If I was in her situation I would be doing the exact same thing

I don't mind her cashing in on the death thing, but I don't like getting ripped off. I bought a Jade Goody callender to support the cause, but it only goes up to March.

I don't mind her cashing in on the death thing, but I don't like getting ripped off. I bought a Jade Goody callender to support the cause, but it only goes up to March.

Yup i'm definitely going to hell now :p

they seem to have taken it way farther than was necessary for a 9 year old to be happy with the result. all the 9 year old wants is to walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress and then eat cake afterwards.

it doesnt give me the warm fuzzies but its not creepy either. you cant tell from the article how much the parents wanted publicity. that can happen by someone else calling a reporter.

Bah, let the "couple" spend the week with me, I'll give them a real wedding.....in Thailand, where apparently you can marry anyone to anything! :D

bah, let the "couple" spend the week with me, i'll give them a real wedding

0_0

I can see both the touching and creepy side to this story. However, the creepy side has more to do with the adults than the kids. Of course the kids have an idealized version of what a wedding means in their heads. Hell, it's how the wedding industry survives (ironically, just like the tobacco industry used to) -- selling the "dream" to little girls (overwhelmingly).

Adults have sold weddings to little girls to the point that near one's death, they'd rather have a wedding than, I dunno, travel someplace amazing and see some stuff before they die. Such is their prerogative, to be sure, but it strikes me as a little odd.

Oh dear God! They granted her wish to be a bride?! *stumbles away, disturbed as heck*

Oh dear God! They granted her wish to be a bride?! *stumbles away, disturbed as heck*

Yeah, apparently, taking the two close friends somewhere memorable as very good friends was anathema to the adults' notion of...whatever it was they were thinking when they agreed to the wedding. It's as if being lifelong friends just wasn't good enough.

If you think about it, it's almost a kind of stealth support for gay marriage. After all, if the "law" can be bent to appease the parents' desire to make the girl happy....

I don't see what is so creepy about it, they're roughly the same age and the ceremony wasn't legally binding.
Now, if the parents take it personally or start getting all weird, that would be creepy, but otherwise it is just another way to pass the time.

I don't see what is so creepy about it, they're roughly the same age and the ceremony wasn't legally binding.
Now, if the parents take it personally or start getting all weird, that would be creepy, but otherwise it is just another way to pass the time.

Yeah, that's the one side, and I agree with you. But something about this rings with the same kind of minor alarm as the kids-in-pageants warning does.

Yeah, apparently, taking the two close friends somewhere memorable as very good friends was anathema to the adults' notion of...
Kinder, Küche, Kirche.


After all, if the "law" can be bent to appease the parents' desire to make the girl happy....
Wedding is a show, so the law is clean here.

I don't mind her cashing in on the death thing, but I don't like getting ripped off. I bought a Jade Goody callender to support the cause, but it only goes up to March.

Hehehehehe.

Wedding is a show, so the law is clean here.

Which is why I chose to put "law" in quotation marks. See, the officiant clearly had no problem with BUT MARRIAGE IS ALWAYS X or Y in order to appease the parents. How is it that the ALWAYS can bend in one direction, but not another?

0_0

LOL! This is probably the only time I've laughed about being taken out of context, good job sir.

Which is why I chose to put "law" in quotation marks. See, the officiant clearly had no problem with BUT MARRIAGE IS ALWAYS X or Y in order to appease the parents. How is it that the ALWAYS can bend in one direction, but not another?

Because people are dicks. Having a creepy ceremony that is every pedophile wet dream is ok, but having two consenting adults male get legally married, OMG, WE'RE GOING TO HELL BECAUSE OF THE EBIL GAYZNESS!

Because people are dicks. Having a creepy ceremony that is every pedophile wet dream is ok, but having two consenting adults male get legally married, OMG, WE'RE GOING TO HELL BECAUSE OF THE EBIL GAYZNESS!

Two kids in wedding outfits hugging and kissing is cute.

A big fat dick covered in crap thrusting into a stretched anus isn't.

Two kids in wedding outfits hugging and kissing is cute.

The children are clearly oversexualized and the parents should be jailed for child abuse. -_-

Two kids in wedding outfits hugging and kissing is cute.

A big fat dick covered in crap thrusting into a stretched anus isn't.

The gays have sex at their wedding now? In front of everyone?!

Isn't there some kind of public indecency laws against that?

Two kids in wedding outfits hugging and kissing is cute.

A big fat dick covered in crap thrusting into a stretched anus isn't.

Voyeurism is really more of a personal problem though, isn't it?

The gays have sex at their wedding now? In front of everyone?!
That's the associations people get when they think of gay marriage.

A big fat dick covered in [mucus] thrusting into a stretched [vagina]

This is much better, obviously.

If these are the mental images I get at every wedding from here on in, I'm going to be very unhappy. :(

That's the associations people get when they think of gay marriage.

No no, they think of the words some bigot wrote into a best selling work of fiction.

This is much better, obviously.
Yes. Otherwise Goatse and Lemonparty wouldn't be called shock sites.


edit: Also, straight people don't have big dicks, they only have small wieners.

I take it you've never seen Hai2u, Eel girl, or the one involving a whisk where no whisk should be.

I take it you've never seen Hai2u, Eel girl, or the one involving a whisk where no whisk should be.
I've participated in the development of the Last Measure. Does that answer your question?

Then I can't see how you could possibly pretend male anatomy is any more (or less) likely to be disgusting than female anatomy. Human bodies are often gross and this is something people should get over.

Then I can't see how you could possibly pretend male anatomy is any more (or less) likely to be disgusting than female anatomy.
The anatomy isn't; if anything, the rod is an order of magnitude less obscene than the slot.

But the fact stays: When straight people see a vag or straight sex, they feel aroused. When they see the Goatse, they feel disgusted. Why? Who cares. All that matters is that straight porn is so acceptable that they put some softcore into every next Hollywood movie. Gay porn rather forms a material for shock sites.

Two kids in wedding outfits hugging and kissing is cute.

A big fat dick covered in crap thrusting into a stretched anus isn't.

Right, 'cause that's only gay people that have anal sex. :rolleyes:

That's the associations people get when they think of gay marriage.

No, that's the association you get and tell yourself that "people" get it to make yourself feel less guilty or something. It's okay to feel like you do. It's not okay to pawn it off as normal...or even right.

Right, 'cause that's only gay people that have anal sex.
Left, 'cause the association we get with straight sexual orientation is v-fuck.


No, that's the association you get and tell yourself that "people" get it to make yourself feel less guilty or something.
Dood, I don't feel guilt. Ever.

No, that's the association you get and tell yourself that "people" get it to make yourself feel less guilty or something. It's okay to feel like you do. It's not okay to pawn it off as normal...or even right.

But the fact stays: When straight people see a vag or straight sex, they feel aroused. When they see the Goatse, they feel disgusted. Why? Who cares. All that matters is that straight porn is so acceptable that they put some softcore into every next Hollywood movie. Gay porn rather forms a material for shock sites.

<.<

She wanted the attention and the ceremony and the fun of it, I'm guessing, rather than anything unrealistic or unwholesome. I don't see any downside.

That's the associations people get when they think of gay marriage.

Don't lump everyone else in with your perverted thoughts. Its not the association that I make.

Dont matter to me. Their money their dieing nine year old.

A big fat dick covered in crap thrusting into a stretched anus isn't.

Ssssh. Your homophobia is showing.

Ssssh. Your homophobia is showing.
You find Goatse cute? (Not sexually arousing, but explicitly cute?) Then I have a few sites I could show you...


And, no, I'm not homophobic. I just explain why people can be okay with fake child wedding, but not okay with gay marriage.

A big fat dick covered in crap thrusting into a stretched anus isn't.

Hey, I'm trying to eat here! Tell you what, that's the last mental image I need while I'm trying to eat chili dogs...

Hey, I'm trying to eat here! Tell you what, that's the last mental image I need while I'm trying to eat chili dogs...

/thread.

Vault 10: Is that what people think when they think of gay marriage, or is that what you think when you think of gay marriage?

I've found, more often than not, when someone try to speak for other people, they're trying to cover up for the fact that they're speaking only for themselves. Because hey, "if other people think like I do, then it's ok."

When did a thread about nine-year-olds getting married turn into a thread about gay male sex?

There's some weird psychology here.

When did a thread about nine-year-olds getting married turn into a thread about gay male sex?

There's some weird psychology here.

That's NSG for you. You should realize this by now.

Vault 10: Is that what people think when they think of gay marriage, or is that what you think when you think of gay marriage?

I've found, more often than not, when someone try to speak for other people, they're trying to cover up for the fact that they're speaking only for themselves. Because hey, "if other people think like I do, then it's ok."
The problem is, I'm a strong supporter of gay marriage. Not just of legalizing gay marriage. No, I actually think the world could use much more gay people, and married gay couples in particular. Single-gender marriages have overwhelming advantages over the biologically traditional, but no longer biologically necessary cross-gender form. These range from simple psychological to finally separating reproduction and cohabiting, allowing for gene matching on a scientific basis rather than on a hunch.

I tend to take efforts to reconvince people who oppose gay marriage. And what I find out in these arguments is that, when religion and tradition are out of the way, most times their reasons ultimately boil down to "Yuck!".

[ By the way, about supposedly straight people doing it too: I suspect that the chance that one will say "Yuck" about gay sex/marriage might be proportional to the chance they like to slightly miss the pink themselves. ]

I read the story and, at first, felt all warm and fuzzy because a dying nine-year-old girl got her dying wish. Then the story started bothering me. Am I just an unpleasant old lady, or is my feeling that this was not altogether the best thing valid? I don't have anything on which to base this but a general feeling of creepiness and, as most of you know, I do prefer facts to feelings when making judgements.

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/02/24/dying-girls-last-wish-a-wedding/

(stupid ad)I remember a story about a man marrying his widowed mother so that he could take care of her.

at least this was a nice gesture and story.

Married people have sex? I thought it ends once you do get married! :D Had to be done. Life after Death is as Improbable as Sex after Marriage. - Madeline Khan (Mrs White - Clue)

Seriously though, so they can't have sex, whoopie doo. The adults in this situation just better be glad that 9 year olds are easy to manipulate and satisfied with a fake wedding. They're happy. they might not live long.

I thought it was very sweet. I liked the idea that they took each other as "friends."

the $$ plea?? I think that someone took advantage of the story - but was trying to "include" others in the idea of "celebrating a wedding" by offering a "wedding gift" that would benefit far more people than just a single "bride" or "groom"

But I can appreciate why you felt "blackmailed." If, perhaps, the info regarding the charity had been done earlier on, or w/ a more direct request, it wouldn't have seemed so "slight of hand"

Yeah, apparently, taking the two close friends somewhere memorable as very good friends was anathema to the adults' notion of...whatever it was they were thinking when they agreed to the wedding. It's as if being lifelong friends just wasn't good enough.

I can understand the parents wanting to grant their daughter a wish. The child in question is sick and will likely die. But to grant a wedding? To a nine year old? For what purpose? And for that matter, what nine year old girl thinks about marriage? I was playing, contently, with dolls at that age.

If you think about it, it's almost a kind of stealth support for gay marriage. After all, if the "law" can be bent to appease the parents' desire to make the girl happy....

If the law is bent to allow gay marriage, I'm all for it. But bend the law to grant a girl, a nine year old, the wish to get married? That is beyond me. Perhaps I'm not seeing the full picture. Or I don't want to see it.

I can understand the parents wanting to grant their daughter a wish. The child in question is sick and will likely die. But to grant a wedding? To a nine year old? For what purpose? And for that matter, what nine year old girl thinks about marriage? I was playing, contently, with dolls at that age.considering her situation (the fact that the rest of her life is being measured in weeks) it does put a new perspective on life... even for a nine year old.



If the law is bent to allow gay marriage, I'm all for it. But bend the law to grant a girl, a nine year old, the wish to get married? That is beyond me. Perhaps I'm not seeing the full picture. Or I don't want to see it.

"Will you take Jose to be your friend, forever and ever?" the pastor asked a tiara-topped Jayla.
...

"We didn't expect to do this when she was nine years old," said Lisa Cooper, Jayla's mom. "But she has taught us all how to love each other and to be strong." The children aren't legally married, of course. In fact, the ceremony itself celebrated their intent -- to always be friends, no matter what.

maybe a simpler form of 'marriage' but she wanted a cerimony, so they gave her one.

Dood, I don't feel guilt. Ever.

Funny. They tell themselves that, too.

Funny. They tell themselves that, too.
You're lying.

If everyone in the world was as arrogant a jerk as I am, it would be a terrible place, if it would still be at all.

considering her situation (the fact that the rest of her life is being measured in weeks) it does put a new perspective on life... even for a nine year old.







maybe a simpler form of 'marriage' but she wanted a cerimony, so they gave her one.

I can understand those feelings, it just doesn't ceases to seem disturbing to me.

I can understand those feelings, it just doesn't ceases to seem disturbing to me.

Why? Perhaps they, like some of the kids I knew of that age, had an idealized version of marriage, and believed that it was the Ultimate Good. You may disagree, but luckily for you and them, the symbolism and ceremony of the "friend-marriage" was for them, not you.

Thank you Derscon, that is exactly how I see it.

Granting a dying childs wish, to 'formally' enact a 'friends forever' ceremony is both beautiful and touching. And I have to wonder at the psychology of those who find it creepy. But then again I wonder about a fair number of those who post here in NSG.