NationStates Jolt Archive

You've met a great person, and at some point, you're discussing getting hot and heavy with them - and then you find out they have genital herpes (we're assuming you don't here).

What's your next step?

Run for the hills.

never been a problem. only sleep with virgins.

I wouldn't risk it. Not worth it.

Run for the hills.

^ This.

To the one of you who so far has claimed condoms stop herpes - no they don't.

To the one of you who so far has claimed condoms stop herpes - no they don't.

you'd need a waist down condom to stop herpes. and that's provided you dont have oral sex.

I draw the line at matching clothes, matching VDs is going a step too far.

can I be the only smart one to ask what kind?

can I be the only smart one to ask what kind?

Space Herpe! :eek:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-me2inj1nNw

To the one of you who so far has claimed condoms stop herpes - no they don't.

For genital herpes, condoms are highly effective in limiting transmission of herpes simplex infection. The virus cannot pass through latex, but a condom's effectiveness is somewhat limited on a public health scale by their limited use in the community, and on an individual scale because the condom may not completely cover blisters on the penis of an infected male, or the base of the penis or testicles not covered by the condom may come into contact with free virus in vaginal fluid of an infected female. In such cases, abstinence from sexual activity or washing of the genitals after sex is recommended. The use of condoms or dental dams also limits the transmission of herpes from the genitals of one partner to the mouth of the other (or vice versa) during oral sex. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes#Transmission_and_prevention)

not that I really aim to be chomping down on anything encrusted

Space Herpe! :eek:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-me2inj1nNw

looks like Kuato out of total recall (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xO1kKemcwYk&NR=1)

this thread is about to get very interesting

To the one of you who so far has claimed condoms stop herpes - no they don't.http://aids.about.com/od/hivprevention/a/condomshsv.htm suggests that there is research to suggest condoms do help prevent transmission.
Has recent/more extensive research shown the contrary?

there is research to suggest condoms do help prevent transmission.

you wear condoms when you are kissing girls? ewww (am I the only non-dirty mind out there who just thought of cold sores:()

I'm out of there. Sorry, but Herpes is a deal-breaker.

This poll doesn't have enough options.

That's something I'd have to think about very carefully. I mean, if the relationship could potentially end in marriage, then we'd have to consider the fact that any children we have would have to be delivered by C-section, and oral sex would be problematic at best for all time. If she's worth it, and if I could live with those things, then I'd still date her but emphasis on the waiting until marriage to have sex, since she'd almost certainly give it to me eventually, and I'd only allow that to happen once we're committed.

you wear condoms when you are kissing girls? ewww (am I the only non-dirty mind out there who just thought of cold sores:()

No, but the OP did state genital herpes.

For me, it depends on the type (1 or 2), and how deeply involved we are.

There are treatments available to get rid of the stuff, and it's not necessarily your partner's fault...

There are treatments available to get rid of the stuff, and it's not necessarily your partner's fault...

It can be suppressed, not cured.

"You're going to have to really, really impress me in the next five minutes."

I'll have to break it off, and by "it," I mean my penis. You have mislead me for the last time, Lieutenant.
That thing is like a dousing rod for stuff I really shouldn't want anything to do with.

This poll doesn't have enough options.

That's something I'd have to think about very carefully. I mean, if the relationship could potentially end in marriage, then we'd have to consider the fact that any children we have would have to be delivered by C-section, and oral sex would be problematic at best for all time. If she's worth it, and if I could live with those things, then I'd still date her but emphasis on the waiting until marriage to have sex, since she'd almost certainly give it to me eventually, and I'd only allow that to happen once we're committed.

This is closest to my answer. Herpes isn't a deal-breaker, but it's enough of an issue that I really wouldn't want to risk sexual activity with them without some pretty damn serious commitment first - it wouldn't necessarily have to be marriage, for me, but it would have to be a good deal more than "you're cute, let's make out." Getting their herpes would render me comparatively undateable, so I'd better not need to go on any more dates afterward.

That said, to all of you who'd "run for the hills" and such, may I just ask you, if the situation ever comes up, to do so nicely and to make it very clear that it's the herpes you're running from, not your potential partner. One of my best friends has herpes, and she's been very hurt by people being dicks about it. It's bad enough for her having a lot of people she likes reject her without some of them acting like she is tainted goods while they're doing so.

I should have said "result in marriage" instead of "end in marriage!"

There are treatments available to get rid of the stuff, and it's not necessarily your partner's fault...

There is no known cure for herpes. You can lower the rate of outbreaks, which does somewhat lower the risk of contagion (it's easier to catch it when exposed to the sores themselves) but it can neither be cured nor made impossible to spread.

We can cure a few STDs, but at least three, herpes, HPV, and HIV, remain uncureable.

This is closest to my answer. Herpes isn't a deal-breaker, but it's enough of an issue that I really wouldn't want to risk sexual activity with them without some pretty damn serious commitment first - it wouldn't necessarily have to be marriage, for me, but it would have to be a good deal more than "you're cute, let's make out." Getting their herpes would render me comparatively undateable, so I'd better not need to go on any more dates afterward.

That said, to all of you who'd "run for the hills" and such, may I just ask you, if the situation ever comes up, to do so nicely and to make it very clear that it's the herpes you're running from, not your potential partner. One of my best friends has herpes, and she's been very hurt by people being dicks about it. It's bad enough for her having a lot of people she likes reject her without some of them acting like she is tainted goods while they're doing so.

But its not exactly an unatural reaction when dealing with infection. Especially sexual infection that people are taught to feel neurotic about. I mean I wouldn't really like to be a jerk to someone who's in a sad situation like that but I just bet that my reaction would be argh! Run away run away. And then I'd probably take a long probably completely inefective shower and then seek medical advice and get a check up.

But its not exactly an unatural reaction when dealing with infection. Especially sexual infection that people are taught to feel neurotic about. I mean I wouldn't really like to be a jerk to someone who's in a sad situation like that but I just bet that my reaction would be argh! Run away run away. And then I'd probably take a long probably completely inefective shower and then seek medical advice and get a check up.

Oh, it's not unnatural. But I just wanted to say that, as the person who ends up comforting my friend while she sobs about how people think she's horrible and dirty, it would really be nice if people could manage to articulate things like, "I really, really like you, and it's totally not your fault, but I'm not prepared to risk getting a disease with no cure even to get to sleep with someone as sexy as you. Can we still be friends? Because you really are awesome." (It's also sensible as far as rational self-interest goes, because the more people act like dicks to her about it, the more she finds herself bitterly questioning if being honest with them before they ever make it to the bedroom is worth it. She's a genuinely good person, so I know she'll never stop telling potential partners the truth, but there are plenty of people less nice out there.)

I suppose that how you find out about would really frame the reaction a lot. The OP suggested finding out at the last minute in the bedroom.

There is no known cure for herpes. You can lower the rate of outbreaks, which does somewhat lower the risk of contagion (it's easier to catch it when exposed to the sores themselves) but it can neither be cured nor made impossible to spread.

We can cure a few STDs, but at least three, herpes, HPV, and HIV, remain uncureable.

And they'd have to be some seriously masochistic freak to even want to have sex while their genitals are full of blisters.

Well considering about a fourth of all women have it hmm…..

And they'd have to be some seriously masochistic freak to even want to have sex while their genitals are full of blisters.

according to the planned parent events on my campus, people when really drunk often spread it.

This is closest to my answer. Herpes isn't a deal-breaker, but it's enough of an issue that I really wouldn't want to risk sexual activity with them without some pretty damn serious commitment first - it wouldn't necessarily have to be marriage, for me, but it would have to be a good deal more than "you're cute, let's make out." Getting their herpes would render me comparatively undateable, so I'd better not need to go on any more dates afterward.

That said, to all of you who'd "run for the hills" and such, may I just ask you, if the situation ever comes up, to do so nicely and to make it very clear that it's the herpes you're running from, not your potential partner. One of my best friends has herpes, and she's been very hurt by people being dicks about it. It's bad enough for her having a lot of people she likes reject her without some of them acting like she is tainted goods while they're doing so.

Oh, absolutely. Even being polite about it, I'd feel pretty bad about it, but, well, I just don't think I would want to risk it, even in a committed relationship.

Well considering about a fourth of all women have it hmm…..

Hearing stuff like that makes me appreciate being married.

Oh, it's not unnatural. But I just wanted to say that, as the person who ends up comforting my friend while she sobs about how people think she's horrible and dirty, it would really be nice if people could manage to articulate things like, "I really, really like you, and it's totally not your fault, but I'm not prepared to risk getting a disease with no cure even to get to sleep with someone as sexy as you. Can we still be friends? Because you really are awesome." (It's also sensible as far as rational self-interest goes, because the more people act like dicks to her about it, the more she finds herself bitterly questioning if being honest with them before they ever make it to the bedroom is worth it. She's a genuinely good person, so I know she'll never stop telling potential partners the truth, but there are plenty of people less nice out there.)

I really don't know how I'd react to someone I was interested in telling me that they have herpes. I would probably, at the least, put off sexual contact for a longer period of time - to be sure that I wanted to risk it.

I can say that the honesty of someone telling me before it was yet an issue - so that I could make that decision in a well-informed manner - would only increase my respect for them.

Now, if my husband found out that he had herpes (you can be asymptomatic for years and I don't know for certain if he's been specifically tested for that one), I think we'd want to take extra precautions, particularly when any outbreaks occurred, but I wouldn't break off a marriage. And, I suppose, it would obviously be a consideration when we decide to have kids.

You've met a great person, and at some point, you're discussing getting hot and heavy with them - and then you find out they have genital herpes (we're assuming you don't here).

What's your next step?

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/Kill_it_with_fire_scorpio.gif

never been a problem. only sleep with virgins.

It doesnt matter. You can get herpes from a public washroom.

Fuck G.Herpes - if she's got it, I don't want it!

You've met a great person, and at some point, you're discussing getting hot and heavy with them - and then you find out they have genital herpes (we're assuming you don't here).

What's your next step?

Well, obviously, get hot and heavy with someone else instead. Being a great person doesn't affect the quality of orgasm; being a hot babe does (and, no, sores aren't hot). Plenty of hot babes out there without herpes.
If they're a great person, we can talk and chat and all that.


However, there is a solution (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teledildonics) soon to hit the market that will solve the issue, allowing people to have sex with STD carriers without risk of infection.

Warning: the following site doesn't contain porn, but it does include images of sex equipment; if that's a problem, don't follow.

http://www.slashdong.org/

Ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

you wear condoms when you are kissing girls? ewww (am I the only non-dirty mind out there who just thought of cold sores:()Safety first, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YFC0O393DQ

But no, I wouldn't use a condom when kissing girls (except when other co-occurring activities call for it). However, pulling a condom over your head would still reduce the risk of transmission of herpes; if only by decreasing the likelihood of being kissed at all :P

It doesnt matter. You can get herpes from a public washroom.I don't think that's true.
Not unless you do some very, very kinky things with the fixtures (and someone else did the same before you).

Oh Hotwife... I'll miss you and your herpes...