NationStates Jolt Archive

What do you do?

You're out on a date with someone whom you're incredibly attracted to, and whom you've gotten along with famously so far. Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?

What's "incredibly racist"?

What's "incredibly racist"?

You find out that they belong to the KKK or Neo-Nazis?

What's "incredibly racist"?

Whatever you'd ordinarily consider over the top and offensive. I deliberately left it vague because the reaction is what's important.

If they are otherwise reasonable, I'd try and talk some sense into them first.

I'd punch them in the face.

What do you do?

You're out on a date with someone whom you're incredibly attracted to, and whom you've gotten along with famously so far. Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?

Well in my experience most racists are morons who can't be dealt with, I wouldn't even give her the chance, hasta la vista.

If they are otherwise reasonable, I'd try and talk some sense into them first.

I'd punch them in the face.

I like the difference.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BooHi2YcIXI&feature=related

I would try to talk to them but ultimately I am not attracted to racists, if they continue being one I will find someone I am attracted to

Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?If she's serious about the comment, it would inevitably lead to an argument. And if she can't see why she's wrong her level of attraction would quickly plummet to levels that can't support a relationship.

Seeing as I'm going to assume I wouldn't know this person that well (new information and all) I would likely not continue to go out with them. Though if I did know them fairly well and thought I could have an influence, I would try the discussion path. First instinct is to definitely stop dating though.

What do you do?

You're out on a date with someone whom you're incredibly attracted to, and whom you've gotten along with famously so far. Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?
Set them on fire.

I will start humming the Stephen Lynch song already mentioned.

Then discussion. If she does not enjoy that, byebye.

When I fall in love, I tend to forget everyhthng that may be a flaw in that person. I should probably stop doing that.

If she's serious about the comment, it would inevitably lead to an argument. And if she can't see why she's wrong her level of attraction would quickly plummet to levels that can't support a relationship.

Can almost always tell when someone is serious or not.

Be happy you could find a good racially aware girl in this goddamn society.

I tried to find a nice white power pumpkin at my local militia, and all I found was this shit:

http://militianetwork.homestead.com/Standards.html

Given I have a pathological hatred for racists, I would react... poorly to such a comment. I'd try to convince them otherwise, but if their opinions were strong, I would end the relationship.

Whatever you'd ordinarily consider over the top and offensive. I deliberately left it vague because the reaction is what's important.

Well my reaction depends on the specific situation.

In general though, she is simply no longer my romantic interest. There are some reconcilable differences and some irreconcilable ones. And then there are irreconcilable differences that remind me of how stupid she is.

Normally, stupidity is a major turn-off.

Whatever you'd ordinarily consider over the top and offensive. I deliberately left it vague because the reaction is what's important.

As a note, I should add that I do not consider being intolerant towards certain life philosophies "racist" if the other party can give decent arguments for them - even though I may vehemently disagree with the dislike.

What do you do?

You're out on a date with someone whom you're incredibly attracted to, and whom you've gotten along with famously so far. Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?

Hmm... I've tried talking to racists before, and in my experience there is generally very little point to that.
On the other hand, I've got a BF at home who will make the odd racist remark, thinking it's funny. I know he's trying to be ironic, but sadly he's just no Al Murray.
So I probably would hope that the guy's just joking, for a while. If I do find out he really thinks that way, he's history.

I would try to turn around their opinions by amicably discussing it.

I guess it depends. Is she hot?

Considering I'm Hispanic and Catholic, I think this is something that'd never happen.

Kick 'em to the curb, I suppose...

depends.

we would talk, and if she is hard set in her ways...
but if it's something she can 'control'...

I guess it depends. Is she hot?

No, she's a racist. Its impossible to be sexually appealing and racist.

No, she's a racist. Its impossible to be sexually appealing and racist.

Depends. If the body is good, a gag, length or two of rope, and some handcuffs will take care of the rest.

The gag is the most important part. Don't forget that.

Considering I'm Hispanic and Catholic, I think this is something that'd never happen.

Kick 'em to the curb, I suppose...

Oh, so Hispanics can't be racists too? Only white people? What, are you racist?

Oh, so Hispanics can't be racists too? Only white people? What, are you racist?
[sigh]

Fine. Yes I'm racist.

Eh depends on how deep rooted it is.

Oh, so Hispanics can't be racists too? Only white people? What, are you racist?
To further explain, my grandparents actually were racist, and brought us up teaching us that Whites weren't to be trusted because they were only out for themselves and took other peoples land.

History has backed up this belief, however [sic].

I'd probably.....

Finish the date. Tell her I'll call her, then not call her ever again.

fuck her one last time then fuck her...

fuck her one last time then fuck her...

Wouldn't that be two more times?

To further explain, my grandparents actually were racist, and brought us up teaching us that Whites weren't to be trusted because they were only out for themselves and took other peoples land.

History has backed up this belief, however [sic].

you bastard.

Wouldn't that be two more times?

No. That's the beauty of the word fuck. It means a lot of things.
In this instance, I could have used "make love to her one last time then forget about her" but that doesn't sound poetic enough...

I'd probably join in, depending on how serious she was getting. My current g/f is pretty racist actually, hasn't bothered me much except when she goes over the top.

No. That's the beauty of the word fuck. It means a lot of things.
In this instance, I could have used "make love to her one last time then forget about her" but that doesn't sound poetic enough...

Plus, if you're gonna fuck her and then really forget about it, you might as well skip straight to the forgetting.

Tbh I wouldnt have gone on a date if I didnt know quite a lot about them and presumably if they were....regularly (dunno if thats the right word) ...racist surely it would have come up in conversation before.


if it hadnt then id probly finish the date but stop returning his calls....unless it happned more than once in the date then im out of there

Plus, if you're gonna fuck her and then really forget about it, you might as well skip straight to the forgetting.

I got needs, man.

If they're clearly serious, I smile politely, finish the date, and then never see the dumbass again. Stupidity is a huge turn-off.

I'd probably get into an argument with them, or a discussion, depending on how they reacted to my objections.

And I'd be generally amicable for the rest of the date. But there most likely would not be a second one.

I will of course try to change her mind, but if it will be not possible I will try to tolerate it. Love is too important to throw it away just because your beloved one has stupid views. But if she is an active member of some Nazi gang and regularly beat or even murder people than I will not know what to do. Probably it will be wise to run away and love her from afar.

you bastard.
Glad to see I'm still making people happy...

you do know what sarcasm is, right?

If they're clearly serious, I smile politely, finish the date, and then never see the dumbass again. Stupidity is a huge turn-off.

Oh, thank god. I thought you preferred Neo Art to me because of the job.

Oh, thank god. I thought you preferred Neo Art to me because of the job.

Nah, what I'd really prefer is both of you at once.










....making jokes on the forum. Geez, people, get your minds out of the gutter! :tongue:

Depends. If the body is good, a gag, length or two of rope, and some handcuffs will take care of the rest.

The gag is the most important part. Don't forget that.

Why do you need handcuffs and rope?

To further explain, my grandparents actually were racist, and brought us up teaching us that Whites weren't to be trusted because they were only out for themselves and took other peoples land.

History has backed up this belief, however [sic].

So the Spaniards and Portuguese who conquered all of South and Central America, and committed genocide on many races were nice people then?

Why do you need handcuffs and rope?

I knew someone would ask.

Well, quite simply, you want to handcuff the hands over her head, where a single mounting point is sufficient.

However, her feet should be tied to opposite ends of the footboard (or headboard, depending how you roll) so that you have clear and easy access to the appropriate sections of the body. This requires either two lengths of rope, or a length of rope that's excessively long in order to tie both ankles to different mounting points. This, however, is unwieldy, and it's preferable to have two shorter ropes (in my opinion).

This happened to me with a girl once. It didn't let it get to me, because I'm morally gray.

So the Spaniards and Portuguese who conquered all of South and Central America, and committed genocide on many races were nice people then?

Um.....isn't their non-niceness precisely his point? :confused:

So the Spaniards and Portuguese who conquered all of South and Central America, and committed genocide on many races were nice people then?

Spaniards and Portuguese aren't white now?

Spaniards and Portuguese aren't white now?

Spanish =/= Hispanic now?

I knew someone would ask.

Well, quite simply, you want to handcuff the hands over her head, where a single mounting point is sufficient.

However, her feet should be tied to opposite ends of the footboard (or headboard, depending how you roll) so that you have clear and easy access to the appropriate sections of the body. This requires either two lengths of rope, or a length of rope that's excessively long in order to tie both ankles to different mounting points. This, however, is unwieldy, and it's preferable to have two shorter ropes (in my opinion).

... Okaaay then.

Spanish =/= Hispanic now?

yeah, but you said Spaniards and Portuguese...and I don't know if Hispanic = White or not.

While the Spaniards and Portuguese did /(do?)commit many atrocious acts against the natives (especially in South and Central America), they do appear to have intermarried and accepted the Native Americans more than those who colonized North America. One such example is that several Latin American countries use a bilingual system (Spanish and a native language.) Granted, these attempts obviously do not make up for genocide...

... Okaaay then.

If you any questions, please see my assistant and she will demonstrate proper bondage technique with you as a subject.

What do you do?

End it then and there.

I've never personally dealt with this particular situation, although I have had friends who turned out to be racist. The way I handled it is something like how I'd handle the hypothetical in the OP:

If the relationship were otherwise solid, I'd probably start trying to talk to her and change her mind. Even if the progress is gradual it would be worth it. After all, not only do I get to keep dating her but that will be one less racist in the world if I'm successful.

One thing I definitely couldn't do is just ignore it. After all, if things get serious enough that we wind up married, I wouldn't want her to pass it along to the kids.

The think to keep in mind is that racist =/= stupid. People are brought up to believe what they're brought up to believe. Sure, the more intelligent the person the easier it is to get them to change, but I don't think I'd give up on her off the bat.

You're out on a date with someone

Never do.

whom you're incredibly attracted to

Doesn't happen.

and whom you've gotten along with famously so far.

Happens on rare occassions.

Now do I really need to explore this imposthetical situation any further? :p

The think to keep in mind is that racist =/= stupid. People are brought up to believe what they're brought up to believe. Sure, the more intelligent the person the easier it is to get them to change, but I don't think I'd give up on her off the bat.

Well, within reason. A racist 6-year-old raised by neo-Nazis is certainly not necessarily stupid. A racist college freshman may still have the potential to become a sensible person with a lot of pushing. A racist 35-year-old who's had plenty of exposure to other viewpoints is kinda responsible for his own dumbass beliefs at that point.

As long as she's hot, and as long as it isn't my race, I'm pretty sweet

What's "incredibly racist"?

You know, like wanting to sterilize an entire select population.

I'd eat them. Pure Aryans are highly nutritious

You know, like wanting to sterilize an entire select population.

At least you can laugh at yourself.

At least you can laugh at yourself.

More than I can say for most people on here.

What do you do?

You're out on a date with someone whom you're incredibly attracted to, and whom you've gotten along with famously so far. Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?

Not care. If I like her for everything else, then what would I let some comments get to me for?

Besides, isn't being tolerable the point of anti-racism?

Spanish =/= Hispanic now?

You obviously don't know the distinction. Spanish= Spanish. Hispanic is someone who lives in Latin America.

You obviously don't know the distinction. Spanish= Spanish. Hispanic is someone who lives in Latin America.

Gas Panic is a sweat bar in Japan.

You obviously don't know the distinction. Spanish= Spanish. Hispanic is someone who lives in Latin America.
id ammend that to "the americas" as the united states has many hispanics.

i dont know what term is used in canada though.

Well in my experience most racists are morons who can't be dealt with, I wouldn't even give her the chance, hasta la vista.
My girlfriend has two degrees, can speak 3 languages fluently and absolutely despises the Chinese. Hates them with a passion. Part of this came from the year she spent there at University where she was attacked and almost raped (she managed to fight the attacker off and run away). When she reported the attack to the police, they told her that there is no rape in China and that as a foreigner she was obviously 'wanting' it and refused to investigate further. A couple of the police even made crude jokes about her. She then had to put up with all sorts of crude comments and unpleasantness from the rest of the students who decided that she must be a whore and, for having the audacity to complain about a local, all turned against her and treated her like absolute shit.
When I lived in China, I found much the same sort of attitudes, either towards foreign women or towards local women who dated foreign men. They were, by an overwheming majority of the local populace, viewed - and treated - as sluts and whores.
Not all racists are morons. Some have excellent reasons for disliking with a passion a particular race.

id ammend that to "the americas" as the united states has many hispanics.

i dont know what term is used in canada though.

The real nice Mexican fella there, eh?

What do you do?

You're out on a date with someone whom you're incredibly attracted to, and whom you've gotten along with famously so far. Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?

Politely end the date as quickly as possible and never contact that person again.

You find out that they belong to the KKK or Neo-Nazis?

Assuming we were at a bar or at a restaurant, I'd pay my bill (and only my bill), leave and cancel that person from the list of my interests.

I'd eat them. Pure Aryans are highly nutritious

Nah, they're low on proteins.

Wait, or was that Veget-Aryans?

Nah, they're low on proteins.

Wait, or was that Veget-Aryans?

Oh, dear god.

im old (and not dating). i dont have time to hang out with idiots. as soon as he said something shocking (in a bad way), racist or not, the date would be over.

Oh, dear god.

If you were hoping for better humour at 02.45, after some idiot tried to steal my car (a 18-years-old and quite battered Polo! I was going to substitute it next week anyway)... well, you're a real optimist. Sorry, it's the best I can do now.

If you were hoping for better humour at 02.45, after some idiot tried to steal my car (a 18-years-old and quite battered Polo! I was going to substitute it next week anyway)... well, you're a real optimist. Sorry, it's the best I can do now.

Yeah, but its out there, now...it will never die.

Veget-Aryans.

It will grow. People will post about how Hitler was vegetarian. The white supremacists will stop eating beef. They'll get healthy...they'll eat kale and drink carrot juice.

They'll start hanging out at agricultural co-ops owned by hippy Jews, and they'll stand there in line with their environmentally friendly hemp re-usable shopping bags, with SS bolts tatooed on their necks and swastikas between their eye brows and they'll ask if the gluten free pretzels use kosher salt and it will really fucking awkward for everybody.

Good job, jerk.

Not all racists are morons. Some have excellent reasons for disliking with a passion a particular race.

Understandable != excellent, reasonable, logical

Her reasoning is essentially: some Chinese people in China did bad things, therefore the entire Chinese race is bad.

Is it understandable? Sure it is, it's only natural to vent emotion/anger like that, although I can't imagine what it would be like to be in her position. That is no reason to deem any racist attitudes as an acceptable one or as you describe, excellent.

Understandable != excellent, reasonable, logical

Her reasoning is essentially: some Chinese people in China did bad things, therefore the entire Chinese race is bad.

Is it understandable? Sure it is, it's only natural to vent emotion/anger like that, although I can't imagine what it would be like to be in her position. That is no reason to deem any racist attitudes as an acceptable one or as you describe, excellent.

When it was every chinese person she knew who turned against her and treated her terribly for the attack - not just the would-be rapist and a couple of racist cops but every chinese person on campus - where do you draw the line from, "Oh, it's just a few bad eggs and not representative of the culture as a whole" and "this is endemic of their culture and way of thinking"?

When it was every chinese person she knew who turned against her and treated her terribly for the attack - not just the would-be rapist and a couple of racist cops but every chinese person on campus - where do you draw the line from, "Oh, it's just a few bad eggs and not representative of the culture as a whole" and "this is endemic of their culture and way of thinking"?

:rolleyes:



There is no reasonable way to argue this issue without knowing more information and seeming presumptuous.

When did this happen?
What Chinese university did she go to?

Did she ever display sexual openness?
Did she ever display cultural insensitivity during her stay?
Have other Chinese people raped her outside of China?

Has she ever went to therapy?
Has she shown any effort in de-radicalizing her prejudice?

Is she hostile in her attitudes, or is she like the docile racist grandma that is amusing to watch?
Does she agree with white nationalist/neo-Nazi ideals?
Is she a part of a white nationalist/neo-Nazi group?


I am not saying that she is wrong. I have seen racism in China too, which was even in the 21st century. Racist attitudes are improving, but they are still very much significant in less developed parts of the world.

I was going to reply, but when I saw these three bits:

Did she ever display sexual openness?
Did she ever display cultural insensitivity during her stay?
I realised there's absolutely no point in debating anything with you. ever.
I mean, sure, her 'displaying sexual openess' (whatever the fuck that means), her possibly showing any cultural insensitivity meant she was just 'asking' for it, right?
here, have a :rolleyes: back at you. Then go away and think over just what you've written. Come back when you've matured a little, okay?

Id try to change their mind through discussion, no sense in at least not trying...

However, its likely that this relationship wont last long, because Im the kind of person that picks at things like that until either they give up, or they leave, lol...

I mean, sure, her 'displaying sexual openess' (whatever the fuck that means), her possibly showing any cultural insensitivity meant she was just 'asking' for it, right?

Now who's the one being presumptuous and immature? Never once did I say the two things are justified in raping anybody.

Of course it isn't justified, and many rural authorities in China are known to be corrupt. But if she was indeed "slutty" and established that among her foreign peers/friends, they would be less inclined to sympathize with her, especially if it was during a time of xenophobia and cultural closedmindedness. They are not right in doing so, nor was she wrong for acting in that manner, but that is an extremely unfortunate sociological issue that is not representative of an entire race of people.


However you are impartial and highly emotional on this issue anyway, like the mother who cries "but I know my son, he is a good boy."

Now who's the one being presumptuous and immature? Never once did I say the two things are justified in raping anybody.

Of course it isn't justified, and many rural authorities in China are known to be corrupt. But if she was indeed "slutty" and established that among her foreign peers/friends, they would be less inclined to believe her being a rape victim, especially if it was during a time of xenophobia and cultural closedmindedness.


However you are impartial and highly emotional on this issue anyway, like the mother who cries "but I know my son, he is a good boy."

I need a roadmap for this thread.

I need a roadmap for this thread.

I apologize for the derail. As for Zombie, I hope you will come to terms with your own irrational fear of the Chinese.


I answered the second choice. A lot of racism I've seen in my own school was a result of their first-generation immigrant parents implanting their racist views on their children. That kind of racism is the easiest to "talk out of".

When it was every chinese person she knew who turned against her and treated her terribly for the attack - not just the would-be rapist and a couple of racist cops but every chinese person on campus - where do you draw the line from, "Oh, it's just a few bad eggs and not representative of the culture as a whole" and "this is endemic of their culture and way of thinking"?

You know, it is possible for a person of Eastern European, African, Muslim or Jewish descent to come to the very same conclusion when living in a Western European country - that the entire society somehow despises and abuses them without a reason. I've witnessed this often enough. Some friends of mine are Polish and many people would assume them to be car burglars or prostitutes just by noticing their Polish background. Another friend of mine is Jewish and lives in Greece, and he often keeps that to himself because he doesn't want to hear hostile remarks.
I had some bad experiences myself when I moved to Berlin and met Eastern Germans on a regular basis for the first time, and most of them shockingly fitted into the common stereotypes.
That being said, it would be wrong to say that Western Europeans, Eastern Germans, Greeks etc. are nasty in general. Often people just go through unlucky coincidences and bad experiences. I know many people who have made good experiences with Eastern Germans and I'm sure there are plenty of people (both male and female) who spent some time in China and loved it there. I don't think that their opinion is somehow inferior to that of your GF (As I said, it is also possible for people to live in the West and learn to hate it because of the natives' hostility towards them).
I guess it's safe to say that authoritarian societies are in general more likely to be xenophobic and backwards minded than liberal ones. But to conclude from the behaviour of certain elements of a society to a whole people and to assume that nastyness and rudeness are somehow an inseparable part of it's existence, is just irrational.

Call a cab.

I'd still sleep with her as long as she's not Jewish.

I'd probably join in, depending on how serious she was getting. My current g/f is pretty racist actually, hasn't bothered me much except when she goes over the top.

Can you really be... under the top? "I hate the Jews, but I don't want to set fire to their children"?

Well, within reason. A racist 6-year-old raised by neo-Nazis is certainly not necessarily stupid. A racist college freshman may still have the potential to become a sensible person with a lot of pushing. A racist 35-year-old who's had plenty of exposure to other viewpoints is kinda responsible for his own dumbass beliefs at that point.

A racist 80-year-old that makes comments about how wrong interracial couples are because she knows your boyfriend is black is an asshole. Even if she's your grandmother.

I'd eat them. Pure Aryans are highly nutritious

Not care. If I like her for everything else, then what would I let some comments get to me for?

Besides, isn't being tolerable the point of anti-racism?

...what? I can be against racism and still intolerable. Many people are unable to tolerate me for a variety of other reasons.

My girlfriend has two degrees, can speak 3 languages fluently and absolutely despises the Chinese. Hates them with a passion. Part of this came from the year she spent there at University where she was attacked and almost raped (she managed to fight the attacker off and run away). When she reported the attack to the police, they told her that there is no rape in China and that as a foreigner she was obviously 'wanting' it and refused to investigate further. A couple of the police even made crude jokes about her. She then had to put up with all sorts of crude comments and unpleasantness from the rest of the students who decided that she must be a whore and, for having the audacity to complain about a local, all turned against her and treated her like absolute shit.
When I lived in China, I found much the same sort of attitudes, either towards foreign women or towards local women who dated foreign men. They were, by an overwheming majority of the local populace, viewed - and treated - as sluts and whores.
Not all racists are morons. Some have excellent reasons for disliking with a passion a particular race.

I'd say in that case it sounds more like she hates China than the Chinese. It's an important distinction, because racism assumes that race is a defining characteristic--people of a certain race are a certain way simply by dint of heritage. That same attitude toward a nation or group, while perhaps bigoted, isn't necessarily racist. It isn't even necessarily bigoted. As a smallish middle-class white woman, there are places in the Bay I don't go--many parts of Oakland and SF, anywhere in Richmond, parts of San Jose, etc. My race and gender make those places unsafe for me (well, more unsafe--they're not safe for anyone) and, yes, I do make assumptions about the people living in those places because that's necessary for my safety. I don't think it has anything to do with their race or gender, though--I think it has to do with rape/murder rates and the mentality of those very poor, crime-ridden areas. There's nothing about the people themselves physically, genetically, whatever that makes them "bad".

Most often I find that foreigners in China who have issues with racism do not realise how utterly condescending they are towards Chinese people.

I find it hard to believe that an entire university would turn against someone with whom they've built relations, beyond that, foreigners often receive special treatment from the authorities simply due to their foreign status.

The Chinese can certainly be considered racist in some senses, a country that calls itself the Middle Kingdom speaks to the regard in which they hold themselves, yet at the same time they're inordinately curious about other countries and it doesn't take much reaching out to have them gabbling away and treating you much like family.

I'm certainly not assuming anything in this case, it sounds a horrible experience but I'm surprised that so much vitriol was aimed at your girlfriend and wonder how integrated she was in the Chinese community. I've known of similar cases where Chinese have gone to extraordinary lengths to help deal with authorities.

Foreigners can act like ghosts in their own small society in China, I suppose in any country, but the fact that they also have added privileges and take advantage of those can add to the resentment.

Even US-born Chinese can have difficulties entering compounds, for example, whereas foreigners sail through with nary a question.

All I'm saying is that I've found the Chinese to be extremely open when one treats them as equal, too often foreigners see themselves as having special rights.

Just my 2c.

Stupidity is my biggest turn-off. It takes a lot of stupidity to be incredibly racist.

I'd finish the date. Then not go out with him again.

I doubt we could continue our relationship with them hating my friends because of their race. I try to be respectful of other people's views but I don't think I could tolerate someone who hates my friends for a very petty reason.

I'd get angry. Argue with her. Then probably do things to her, hopefully.


...Of course in saying this I am picturing Fairuza Balk in American History X.

She'd cut my throat in my sleep, afterwards, having found all my Commie literature, mind, but I'm sure I really don't care.

Okay, I have to add, the girl I'm talking to in the next window said, in answer to the OP, simply, "Buy a hood."

in answer to the OP, simply, "Buy a hood."

I don't understand this.

I don't understand this.

The guy to whom she is really attracted turns out to be racist. She is ashamed... but **** it, he's hot. So she wears a hood so nobody sees her with him.



...unless she was trying to tell me that she's joining the Klan.

Hrrrm.

...what? I can be against racism and still intolerable. Many people are unable to tolerate me for a variety of other reasons.

So if everyone is equal, then it's OK to no tolerate anyone that is a racist?

Someone goes nuts with the racism when I'm on a date, the date is over...

Geez, people, get your minds out of the gutter! :tongue:

Pfft...don't ask for the impossible. :tongue:

You obviously don't know the distinction. Spanish= Spanish. Hispanic is someone who lives in Latin America.

lol, I always love people who refer to Spanish people as "Latin", it is like referring to the British as Aussies

I don't know, it'd depend on what she said, and if it was a joke, or if she was serious. I'm not going to ditch a girl I like just for one stupid comment, anymore than I would for her liking rap music or watching MTV.

To further explain, my grandparents actually were racist, and brought us up teaching us that Whites weren't to be trusted because they were only out for themselves and took other peoples land. History has backed up this belief, however [sic].

It's not our fault, y'all wanted it so badly, you should have fought harder.

lol, I always love people who refer to Spanish people as "Latin", it is like referring to the British as Aussies

What an odd thing to say.

[Scratches head]

If you're a native speaker of a Romance language, it's not necessarily inapproriate for you to be called Latin. If you're Spanish, chances are you're a native speaker of a Romance language. You can in at least some cases/circumstances be called Latin.

If you're British, chances of you being Aussie are, while existent, slim, and certainly not absolute, as above.

What an odd thing to say.

[Scratches head]

If you're a native speaker of a Romance language, it's not necessarily inapproriate for you to be called Latin. If you're Spanish, chances are you're a native speaker of a Romance language. You can in at least some cases/circumstances be called Latin.

That's not correct. Yes, Spaniards speak a Romance language, Spanish, but Latin or Latino is the correct way of referring to people in Latin America, not Spain. If anything, you can call the Spanish Iberians. The former is a silly assumption.

Gas Panic is a sweat bar in Japan.

*grabs Hammie-kun and stuffs him in a cute cage*
You are officially addopted. Narf!

id ammend that to "the americas" as the united states has many hispanics.

i dont know what term is used in canada though.

That is, indeed, the correct way of referring to your side of the world. The Americas: North, Central and South America.

Depends. If the body is good, a gag, length or two of rope, and some handcuffs will take care of the rest.

The gag is the most important part. Don't forget that.

But what if I want oral?

But what if I want oral?

You remove the gag at the proper time.

My girlfriend has two degrees, can speak 3 languages fluently and absolutely despises the Chinese. Hates them with a passion. Part of this came from the year she spent there at University where she was attacked and almost raped (she managed to fight the attacker off and run away). When she reported the attack to the police, they told her that there is no rape in China and that as a foreigner she was obviously 'wanting' it and refused to investigate further. A couple of the police even made crude jokes about her. She then had to put up with all sorts of crude comments and unpleasantness from the rest of the students who decided that she must be a whore and, for having the audacity to complain about a local, all turned against her and treated her like absolute shit.
When I lived in China, I found much the same sort of attitudes, either towards foreign women or towards local women who dated foreign men. They were, by an overwheming majority of the local populace, viewed - and treated - as sluts and whores.
Not all racists are morons. Some have excellent reasons for disliking with a passion a particular race.

I hate to break it to you but hating an entire race of people for what some members of it do is disgusting. If she hates every individual Chinese person she meets she is wrong.

I'd try to get through to them for a while! Especially if I see some good in them, some racists are just racists because thats how they were raised or brought up to think by there folks (especially this generation). Then we would watch the movie Glitter ( great movie and way under-rated, very touching!!!) If not, then I would probably do her while I've got Biggie or 2Pac playing... then I'd kick her ass to the curb!!!:D

That's not correct. Yes, Spaniards speak a Romance language, Spanish, but Latin or Latino is the correct way of referring to people in Latin America, not Spain. If anything, you can call the Spanish Iberians. The former is a silly assumption.

Or, you know, words can have more than one meaning...

I'm not sure I'm attractive enough to be picky, but even I would have a problem with blatant racism. If they kept it to themselves then fair enough - I have to tolerate my parents' views, after all - but constantly bringing it up would erode their appeal to the point where I'd have to jump ship. I'd be sure to raise that point so they know exactly where they stand, as I'd never bring up any views of mine with somebody who might find them uncomfortable (a believe in evolution with a Creationist, for example).

If it seemed easy to change their mind then maybe I'd argue the point, but in my experience changing such a person's mind is difficult verging on the impossible, and it's really not a pleasant discussion to have in the first place.

That is, indeed, the correct way of referring to your side of the world. The Americas: North, Central and South America.

Or not at all, depending on where you learned geography. In Canada, there is only one America.

Continents are so complicated :$

Or not at all, depending on where you learned geography. In Canada, there is only one America.

Continents are so complicated :$

Pity, Canada should, I don't know, teach their students America is divided in 3parts: North (Canada included), Central (*clears throat* where Mexico is, just in case) and South America.:wink:

Or, you know, words can have more than one meaning...

Latin- it has 2 meanings: the language of Rome, mother-tongue of 5 major languages we know in modern times (Italian, Spanish, French (widely spoken in your native Canada), Portuguese and Romanian), and gentilicium used to refer to people from Latin America.

Do you see any reference there to Spaniards and how they should be called? No. :wink:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin

Pity, Canada should, I don't know, teach their students America is divided in 3parts: North (Canada included), Central (*clears throat* where Mexico is, just in case) and South America.:wink:
Two things: 1- Mexico is genrally considered to be part of North America
2- Spain should, I don't know, teach their students America is aone big continent divided in 3parts: North (Canada included), Central (*clears throat* where Mexico is, just in case) and South America. just like eurasia is one big continent divided into europe and asia.

My point is: your way is NOT the only way.


Latin- it has 2 meanings: the language of Rome, mother-tongue of 5 major languages we know in modern times (Italian, Spanish, French (widely spoken in your native Canada), Portuguese and Romanian), and gentilicium used to refer to people from Latin America.

Do you see any reference there to Spaniards and how they should be called? No. :wink:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin
Why yes I see it: Spaniards, just like French are people of latin heritage so they can be refered as such under certain circumstances. I'm not saying it's frequent. What you're saying, however, is that it'S never happening. That is a silly assumption.

Two things: 1- Mexico is genrally considered to be part of North America
2- Spain should, I don't know, teach their students America is aone big continent divided in 3parts: North (Canada included), Central (*clears throat* where Mexico is, just in case) and South America. just like eurasia is one big continent divided into europe and asia.

My point is: your way is NOT the only way.

Not where I come from, it is not. Mexico is considered part of Central America. And you must always remember that there's a big culture and language divide too. The Americas have this idiosincracy. What's more, the Latino are very proud to be called by the gentilicium of their respective countries, even those born of immigrant parents in the United States. A Mexican will always tell you he/she is Mexican, even he was born and raised in New Mexico.

Why yes I see it: Spaniards, just like French are people of Latin heritage so they can be refered as such under certain circumstances. I'm not saying it's frequent. What you're saying, however, is that it'S never happening. That is a silly assumption.

It is never happening. Not where I live. If anythig, at one point, Spain was considered part of Africa. There's a Latin heritage, but Spain, or any of the countries with a Romance language aren't called Latin, in Europe or elsewhere. Assuming otherwise IS silly.

You're out on a date with someone whom you're incredibly attracted to, and whom you've gotten along with famously so far. Things are really looking great when suddenly he/she makes a remark that reveals them to be incredibly racist toward some particular group (or many.) What do you do?

I would ask questions to discover what the individual really believes. I might have mistaken regarding the context of the remark.

I'll admit that racism is a turn-off, but I would still try not to let that count as the only important detail about a person. Perhaps it is just a quirk that doesn't manifest itself in any harmful way. Maybe it is something the other will grow out of with time, especially with my good influence. Who knows?

Not where I come from, it is not. Mexico is considered part of Central America. And you must always remember that there's a big culture and language divide too. The Americas have this idiosincracy. What's more, the Latino are very proud to be called by the gentilicium of their respective countries, even those born of immigrant parents in the United States. A Mexican will always tell you he/she is Mexican, even he was born and raised in New Mexico.



It is never happening. Not where I live. If anythig, at one point, Spain was considered part of Africa. There's a Latin heritage, but Spain, or any of the countries with a Romance language aren't called Latin, in Europe or elsewhere. Assuming otherwise IS silly.

And there is where assuming that where you don't live it isn't done is silly.
'Cause I can talk about latin people with my french friends and mean Italian-Spanish-Portugese and be undesrtood quite easilly.

Let's chalk it all up to a difference of education.:fluffle:

Nah, what I'd really prefer is both of you at once.


that can be arran-

....making jokes on the forum. Geez, people, get your minds out of the gutter! :tongue:

oh :(

Pity, Canada should, I don't know, teach their students America is divided in 3parts: North (Canada included), Central (*clears throat* where Mexico is, just in case) and South America.:wink:


Everybody has their own way I guess. My dad, who grew up in Ecuador, was taught there were only 5 Continents. Antarctica didn't count, and North/South America was considered all one Continent.

...Which is strange to me because it still kept Europe and Asia separate.

And there is where assuming that where you don't live it isn't done is silly.
'Cause I can talk about latin people with my french friends and mean Italian-Spanish-Portugese and be undesrtood quite easilly.

Let's chalk it all up to a difference of education.:fluffle:

D'accord. We'll chalk it up to a difference in education. :fluffle:

Already been on the wrong end of that stick - twice, depending on your PoV.

1st time was a Japanese lass who's family objected to her dating a whity.

Second was a Japanese lass who's mother objected to my religion. Her husband was a Buddhist. If you're a Xian married to a Buddhist, why the freak would you object to your daughter dating a Buddhist???

Already been on the wrong end of that stick - twice, depending on your PoV.

1st time was a Japanese lass who's family objected to her dating a whity.

Second was a Japanese lass who's mother objected to my religion. Her husband was a Buddhist. If you're a Xian married to a Buddhist, why the freak would you object to your daughter dating a Buddhist???

I had something like that happen to me once. When I was in high school I had the hots for this beautiful Iranian girl. The feeling was mutual so I asked her out. I managed to get one trip to a local park with her, mom chaperoning, but that was it. After that if we got together, like at a dance at school, she couldn't tell her parents she was coming to see me.

I would try to talk some sense into her, and figure out why she holds such views, if it didn't work, then goodbye.... It also depends on the definition of "racist", if she had some controversial views on race, then I would try to work with her, but I would defnitely not date a neo-Nazi or someone similiar to that philosophy.

Can you really be... under the top? "I hate the Jews, but I don't want to set fire to their children"?

Basically, yes. I don't really find racism that repugnant as some do.

Not only that but a lot of people harbor SOME degree of racism, even when they're aware of it and are working on it. So yeah, they can be "under the top."

After all, there's a big difference between "Man I wish those ragheads would just shut up" and "The only solution to the Middle East crisis is complete genocide of all Arabic people. Can't you see that?"

Both are inappropriate, but obviously one is in a whole different ballpark.

Not only that but a lot of people harbor SOME degree of racism, even when they're aware of it and are working on it. So yeah, they can be "under the top."

After all, there's a big difference between "Man I wish those ragheads would just shut up" and "The only solution to the Middle East crisis is complete genocide of all Arabic people. Can't you see that?"

Both are inappropriate, but obviously one is in a whole different ballpark.

But both are unnacceptable, no matter how you look at them.

Racism is, true, something that seems to be in our genetic code, although I'm sure there are exceptions to this.

But both are unnacceptable, no matter how you look at them.

unacceptable in terms of staying with that person, or unacceptable, work to change it way, cause you seemed to agree with the premise that all people are racist, it'd mean you couldn't date anyone.

Racism is, true, something that seems to be in our genetic code, although I'm sure there are exceptions to this.

I think it is a logical extension of the way our brains work, to see a pattern in experience and extend it to other scenarios (in this case people).

unacceptable in terms of staying with that person, or unacceptable, work to change it way, cause you seemed to agree with the premise that all people are racist, it'd mean you couldn't date anyone.

It's unnacceptable. But if the parties involved are willing to sit down and work the issue out, more power to them. And yes, I am of the mind that people are racist in some way. That, however, doesn't mean that compromises can't be achieved.


I think it is a logical extension of the way our brains work, to see a pattern in experience and extend it to other scenarios (in this case people).

I had a hard time stomaching Mexicans, because I grew up with parents that were quite racist towards Mexicans, in general. Of course, that all changed when I fell in love and got engaged to a Mexican for 3 years. And eventhough that engagement went sour, it changed my perspective towards them. It taught me to respect them.

When it was every chinese person she knew who turned against her and treated her terribly for the attack - not just the would-be rapist and a couple of racist cops but every chinese person on campus - where do you draw the line from, "Oh, it's just a few bad eggs and not representative of the culture as a whole" and "this is endemic of their culture and way of thinking"?

"Every Chinese person she knew" is a far cry from "every Chinese person." As such, it is irrational to assume that all Chinese people are like the ones she knew.

And I doubt she was close enough to "every Chinese person on campus" to know how they viewed it - or how they might have reacted if given her side of the story.

Until she has met, and been mistreated by, every single Chinese person on the planet, there is no reason for her irrational hatred of the Chinese in general. It might, as others pointed out, be understandable. However, that does not make it rational or even justified.

I think it is a logical extension of the way our brains work, to see a pattern in experience and extend it to other scenarios (in this case people).

Some day, race will be as significant as hair color (ala Star Trek).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1DkVljeRfM&feature=PlayList&p=B702E6462BBA970D&playnext=1&index=41

Pretty much spells it out for me.

I'm not sure I'm attractive enough to be picky, but even I would have a problem with blatant racism. If they kept it to themselves then fair enough - I have to tolerate my parents' views, after all - but constantly bringing it up would erode their appeal to the point where I'd have to jump ship. I'd be sure to raise that point so they know exactly where they stand, as I'd never bring up any views of mine with somebody who might find them uncomfortable (a believe in evolution with a Creationist, for example).

If it seemed easy to change their mind then maybe I'd argue the point, but in my experience changing such a person's mind is difficult verging on the impossible, and it's really not a pleasant discussion to have in the first place.

Two questions:

1) Isn't there a difference between associating with family (who you were brought up by/with regardless of your own choices) and voluntarily associating with someone new?

2) Would you pursue a long-term relationship with someone when you felt the need to make certain topics off-limits?

Two questions:
2) Would you pursue a long-term relationship with someone when you felt the need to make certain topics off-limits?

Hmmm maybe. I'm not allowed to discuss Jessica Alba around my wife :p

try and change their mind about it?
poke them with a sharp stick ?
perhaps both