NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25108653-5013560,00.html

VIVID Entertainment has made a $US1 million ($1.54 million) offer to Nadya Suleman to make a pornographic video.

In an offer letter obtained by TMZ.com, the president of the pornography studio and distributor Steven Hirsch says the company would release the film under their "Vivid-Celeb imprint, which has released titles starring such personalities as Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian, and most recently, former Miss USA Kelli MCarty."

The site also reports that the company is offering her family dental and health care if she agrees to star in a series of films.

Suleman, 33, known as "Octomom" after giving birth to octuplets earlier this year, has reportedly not replied to the request.

Isn't that considered a legitimate offer of employment thereby making her welfare benefits from here out null and void?

Better practice up for the 8 way gang bang, octomom.....


And now for some dry humor...

Did you hear that Denny's is offering the "Nadya Suleman" breakfast plate?

14 eggs, no sausage and the check goes to the next table.Wink

poll added

Well, shit, why not? At least she'd be a somewhat productive member of society instead of a parasite.

Did you hear that Denny's is offering the "Nadya Suleman" breakfast plate?

14 eggs, no sausage and the check goes to the next table.Wink

I LOLed

I LOLed

Me too. :tongue:

If she accepts it, she pays for the babies.
If she doesn't, innocent taxpayers pay for the babies.

Your petard (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petard#.22Hoist_with_his_own_petard.22) calls, Nadya.

I hope not, just so I don't have to think about it.

After 14 kids, hotdog down a hallway comes to mind.

Pity 'Octopussy' is already taken as a film name. :(

After 14 kids, hotdog down a hallway comes to mind.

No, a Cadillac Escalade through the Lincoln Tunnel

Pity 'Octopussy' is already taken as a film name. :(

How about Eight is Never Enough?

Damn, a cool million for that, not bad, I guess depending on what they want her to do... But still a million fucking dollars! That's almost enough to pay the hospital bill, no?

How about Eight is Never Enough?

that's awesome, although I feel like I've seen a film like that already :)

How about Eight is Never Enough?

Hairy Pooter and the Baby Cannon.

why are they calling her octomom
shouldn't she be called

tetradecamom? she does have 14 kids

why are they calling her octomom
shouldn't she be called

tetradecamom? she does have 14 kids

Doesn't roll off the tongue so easily.

How about "Fantastic 14"?

After 14 kids, hotdog down a hallway comes to mind.

A hotdog down the grand canyon.

She's not on welfare proper, she gets disability for her back, for one kid's autism, for one kid's speech delay and I can't remember what is wrong with the other kid but she gets a check for another one.

She gets state insurance which I don't know how it works in her state but our state has an insurance program that they run that if you don't qualify for medicare (like if you have a job) you can get insurance for your kids and you as long as you have "family planning needs" which ....yeah.

The only thing any of this money she's raking in would affect would be her food stamps, but reports are that she's already taken in over $400K plus TLC might make a T.V. show with her.... which would be more money.

After 14 kids, hotdog down a hallway comes to mind.

They were delivered via scheduled Caesarean.

She's not on welfare proper, she gets disability for her back, for one kid's autism, for one kid's speech delay and I can't remember what is wrong with the other kid but she gets a check for another one.

She gets state insurance which I don't know how it works in her state but our state has an insurance program that they run that if you don't qualify for medicare (like if you have a job) you can get insurance for your kids and you as long as you have "family planning needs" which ....yeah.

The only thing any of this money she's raking in would affect would be her food stamps, but reports are that she's already taken in over $400K plus TLC might make a T.V. show with her.... which would be more money.

Doesn't TLC already have a show with 8 kids or so? Asian guy and a goofy looking white girl and a whole pack of kids.

Doesn't TLC already have a show with 8 kids or so? Asian guy and a goofy looking white girl and a whole pack of kids.

Yeah, and the other one where they have 18 kids as well.

This would be a bit different since she's a single mom.

Doesn't Vivid make this offer to every woman who finds herself in tabloid headlines? I wonder what percentage of people take them up on it.

Welfare Scam Cram?

Butbut... Think of the children !

Seriously. Would you have wanted your mom to be in porn movies ?
Once they all hit 18 or so - go for it though.

Butbut... Think of the children !

Seriously. Would you have wanted your mom to be in porn movies ?
Once they all hit 18 or so - go for it though.

If she didn't have them in the first place, she wouldn't be in a spot where that porn money might be just what she needs to raise even half of them properly.

If she didn't have them in the first place, she wouldn't be in a spot where that porn money might be just what she needs to raise even half of them properly.

If she didn't have them in the first place, she wouldn't HAVE that porn offer. :p

If she didn't have them in the first place, she wouldn't HAVE that porn offer. :p

But she wouldn't need the money to raise them either.

:tongue:

But she wouldn't need the money to raise them either.

:tongue:

But she wouldn't have the offer to get money she needs to raise them...

(YAY! Let's hijack the thread into a circular reasoning! :D)

If she didn't have them in the first place, she wouldn't be in a spot where that porn money might be just what she needs to raise even half of them properly.

Ugh... can you imagine knowing that the only way your mother was able to raise you was through the porn industry.

God, I hope it pays enough for the therapy.

Ah, shit. She could almost cover the medical costs for having thirty kids a million weeks early.*

*hyperbole

Ugh... can you imagine knowing that the only way your mother was able to raise you was through the porn industry.

God, I hope it pays enough for the therapy.

*lying on the therapy couch* "...and then there was 'Bring Your Child To Work' day. I still have nightmares..."

But she wouldn't have the offer to get money she needs to raise them...

(YAY! Let's hijack the thread into a circular reasoning! :D)Circular reasoning is always good: because circular reasoning is always good.

Circular reasoning is always good: because circular reasoning is always good.

A=A dammit!

This reminds me of a running gag on South Park about Cartman's mom being on the cover of crack whore magazine.

*lying on the therapy couch* "...and then there was 'Bring Your Child To Work' day. I still have nightmares..."

:hail:

Jesus Christ. It'd be like a windsock after 14 kids.

After 14 kids, hotdog down a hallway comes to mind.
that's being generous. I was thinking more a cocktail weiner down a highway tunnel. Unless they do anal. It's a good bet she hasn't done much of that, if any. I mean, if she had, she wouldn't have 14 kids right?
She'd certainly be able to do a VDP. Heck, get a few indian rubbermen contortionists in and she could probably do a VTP.

Also, those of you constantly saying "It'd be like a windsock" and other such pithy phrases, you DO know that its muscles involved there, right? They return to their normal size after being stretched. They don't stay stretched, not even with this much work on them.

Also, those of you constantly saying "It'd be like a windsock" and other such pithy phrases, you DO know that its muscles involved there, right? They return to their normal size after being stretched. They don't stay stretched, not even with this much work on them.

She had C-sections, nothing got stretched.

She had C-sections, nothing got stretched.

Except the forces of reason. ;)

She had C-sections, nothing got stretched.

With that much baby in there, she could easily have a prolapsed bladder or cervix, and that doesn't heal up like a wish, even with surgery.

Her cervix could be hanging out between her labia as we speak, sniffing the living room sofa for old Cheetos.

She had C-sections, nothing got stretched.
with 8 kids inside her, I think quite a bit of her got stretched. Imagine the stretchmarks she must have!

with 8 kids inside her, I think quite a bit of her got stretched. Imagine the stretchmarks she must have!

meh.

Women birth the children and then they never get laid again because men are dicks. Typical.

meh.

Women birth the children and then they never get laid again because men are dicks. Typical.
meh.
women contrive to find fault with everything a man says and use it against them. Typical.

meh.

Women birth the children and then they never get laid again because men are dicks. Typical.

Don't worry Smunkee.

I'm telling you, pregnant women are sexy! :hail:

Don't worry Smunkee.

I'm telling you, pregnant women are sexy! :hail:

My husband thought so. :) Although he's a little bit more grown up than "eww she might have a stretch mark or 80".

meh.

Women birth the children and then they never get laid again because men are dicks. Typical.

Most of the strippers in my area have c-section scars. I'd still totally bang any of them.

I used to be concerned about the tightness of women, until I realized I have a tiny penis, so it doesn't really matter anyway...

My husband thought so. :) Although he's a little bit more grown up than "eww she might have a stretch mark or 80".

I'm still a juvenile in body, but a wrinkled old man in mind. Where does that leave me?

Most of the strippers in my area have c-section scars. I'd still totally bang any of them.

I used to be concerned about the tightness of women, until I realized I have a tiny penis, so it doesn't really matter anyway...

I wanted to respond to this, but I went completely blank.

I wanted to respond to this, but I went completely blank.

I've been trying that "Male Enhancement" pill, but the seizures just aren't worth it.

I've been trying that "Male Enhancement" pill, but the seizures just aren't worth it.

Ok, tip of the day:

First, to "enhance" something, you need to first have something to enhance. If you don't have it in the first place, you can't enhance it.

I'm still a juvenile in body, but a wrinkled old man in mind. Where does that leave me?

Choking muppets? :p:tongue:

Choking muppets? :p:tongue:

Walked into that!

Most of the strippers in my area have c-section scars. I'd still totally bang any of them.
How nice of you. Charity begins at home eh?

I used to be concerned about the tightness of women, until I realized I have a tiny penis, so it doesn't really matter anyway...
Well, there's always appliances for that.

Ok, tip of the day:

First, to "enhance" something, you need to first have something to enhance. If you don't have it in the first place, you can't enhance it.

Its not the size of the boat, its being thankful for having a small enough wang that the Tijuana prostitutes in price range will let me go back door.

Its not the size of the boat, its being thankful for having a small enough wang that the Tijuana prostitutes in price range will let me go back door.

Ok, the other guys here at work just looked over at me really puzzled when I started laughing hysterically.

I have no response to this. I surrender this match.

Ok, the other guys here at work just looked over at me really puzzled when I started laughing hysterically.

I have no response to this. I surrender this match.

Victory is mine.

I shall have my tiny phallus bronzed and put somewhere prominent...maybe with some backlighting, so you can make it out...

She would do great in porn, what after having cosmetic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie and all.

She would do great in porn, what after having cosmetic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie and all.
Which is prob more the reason why they want her in the pron industry than the number of sprogs she's had.

She would do great in porn, what after having cosmetic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie and all.

The lips bother the hell out of me, to be perfectly frank.

She should definitely hit up the offer as soon as possible, afterall I find it unlikely she'll ever reach her goal of morphing into Oprah, lol...

I'd watch it.

8 kids, 1 cup

Butbut... Think of the children !

Seriously. Would you have wanted your mom to be in porn movies ?


Why not? I don't think porn is 'humiliating' for its employees. There are many jobs I'd have to say are more humiliating than porn

Bit like tossing a sausage down a hallway at this point, isn't it?