NationStates Jolt Archive

In consideration of the other thread where someone was amazed that someone could be shot in the face with a pistol and live, I'd like each of you to post little nuggets of wisdom that you learned from the movies.

I'll start:

No one ever needs to urinate after sex.

When people make out after near-fatal disasters, everyone has fresh breath.

The only ugly people work in labs, schools, operation centers or give you your equipment. (for some reason, ugly people never have sex, either)

When the person you're talking to on the phone hangs up, you get a dialtone again.

99.9% of laptops are Apples.

You can pop a wheelie while spinning your tires (see Fast and Furious).

Tires will screech while on dirt or gravel.

If it's dark out and you're alone in a foreign place, you will get lost. Women take note.

If you're driving a black Trans Am in a cowboy hat, no one can catch you.

If a helicopter armed with machine guns is shooting at you while you're running, it will miss and the lines of bullet impacts will pass on both sides while you escape without a scratch up the middle.


If you're the hero, you'll get laid by the hot looking woman, regardless of your past or hers.

I'll start:

No one ever needs to urinate after sex.



Lol. I have it on excellent authority that it's not only normal but healthy to urinate once one has ejaculated, in oder to clean out anything extra still in the pipe.

When people make out after near-fatal disasters, everyone has fresh breath.


Smell-o-vision?

When the person you're talking to on the phone hangs up, you get a dialtone again.

On many phones, you actually do, you know. (At least in Germany)

Lol. I have it on excellent authority that it's not only normal but healthy to urinate once one has ejaculated, in oder to clean out anything extra still in the pipe.

Oh, so that funny squeezing/massaging everything out ritual my man does isn't really necessary? I'll tell him..

http://www.cracked.com/article_16905_7-classic-disney-movies-that-taught-us-terrible-lessons.html

This sums up what movies, specifically Disney movies, have taught me. You know, important lessons, like your success depends on others dying, your bad situation will improve if you do absolutely nothing and wait for your fairy godmother to fix everything, and (for the ladies) you should marry the first guy to rape you in your coma.

Movies would really be great if there was urination after every sex scene. And then you watched them sleep for seven hours.

things I learn in movies.

Macs can interface easily with alien technology. (ID4)

The object sought after won't be important at all. (Transformers)

The UNIVERSE love Irony (all the villians who proclaimed themselves invincible immediately die afterwards.)

Guns don't run out of ammo unless it becomes a plot point.

One karate chop is enough to render a person unconcious.

no one goes to the bathroom unless it's to have a meeting, a humours encounter or to have a fight.

That American policemen spend most of their time crashing their cars into each other.

Mad bombers always include a handly LED display of how long until the bomb goes off.

After somehow disarming the bad guy with a clever series of MacGyver-like moves (bubble gum, paper clips, and a phone book usually does the trick), don't bother picking up the bad guy's weapon. You won't really need it.

An American taught martial arts for a few months can defeat a Chinese or Japanese martial artist who has been training all their life.

In consideration of the other thread where someone was amazed that someone could be shot in the face with a pistol and live

This actually happened to a person living near me.

If you're the hero, you'll get laid by the hot looking woman, regardless of your past or hers.
addendum.

otherwise, you will die shortly afterwards by a machete/hook/chainsaw/spear/etc... welding maniac.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16905_7-classic-disney-movies-that-taught-us-terrible-lessons.html

This sums up what movies, specifically Disney movies, have taught me. You know, important lessons, like your success depends on others dying, your bad situation will improve if you do absolutely nothing and wait for your fairy godmother to fix everything, and (for the ladies) you should marry the first guy to rape you in your coma.
Heh, this is pretty funny, though the Hunchback of Notre Dame one does contradict the "hero always gets laid" rule in the first post of the thread.

From the Beauty and the Beast one: "After a spoiled prince pretty much tells an old beggar woman to fuck off, he is transformed into a beast, as it turns out the beggar is an enchantress. And she makes it very clear that until he learns to love and thus is loved in return, there will be no ladies in his life and it's just going to be him and his hand for a very long time." I found that especially unfortunate...considering he's got claws. Ouch?

It's A-okay that you destroyed half the city, as long as you got the one bad guy. No one cares about property damage.

It's A-okay that you destroyed half the city, as long as you got the one bad guy. No one cares about property damage.

You never saw Hancock.

If you're a butch, chisled good looks and have massive muscles you'l pull all the girls and kill the bad guys in time for the ride into the sunset on a motorbike.
If you're skinny as a rake, obsessed with looks, spends a fortune on clothes and smile alot you'l pull rich handsome men.
The only emotion women are allowed to express is either lust/love/giggling,
the only emotion men are allowed to express is either man jokes/anger/sadness.

big disasters only happen to rich white males, even then the black guy always dies. Or rich white male that loses his wealth and has to fight for it back, one mugging at a time
Disabled people physically or otherwise don't exist, fat people don't exist except to be laughed at.
Comedians are funny all the time and have no ability to express emotion except sadness.

Sorry i'm posting while unhappy so i suppose my content will be a little more negative than usual.:(

That no matter how f*cked up things get, EVERYTHING will be alright in 2 hours.

That no matter how f*cked up things get, EVERYTHING will be alright in 2 hours.

you haven't seen Platoon have you?

you haven't seen Platoon have you?

Yes, I have.

Yes, I have.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
did you enjoy it?

wooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
did you enjoy it?

No. I despise war movies.

You never saw Hancock.

"Just call me asshole one more time..." :p

Anyway, yeah, I did. I was just hoping no one was going to call me on that. >.>

I saw Platoon and hated it because it was full-on 80's cheese. Sure, it used Barber's Adagio for Strings, but inserting high art into low art does not change the low art from what it is.

"Just call me asshole one more time..." :p

Anyway, yeah, I did. I was just hoping no one was going to call me on that. >.>

That movie was fabulous. "And you, you drew the short straw today..."

I am shocked and appalled people shocked and appalled.
no one saw my joke either :[

If you're a total badass you will always live.

wait...

http://www.cracked.com/article_17019_5-real-life-soldiers-who-make-rambo-look-like-pussy.html

That movie was fabulous. "And you, you drew the short straw today..."
Actually, I thought it was terrible. The first half could have made a somewhat decent film, but the second half was absolutely abysmal. Talk about your waste of time plot twists.

That movie was fabulous. "And you, you drew the short straw today..."

Your avatar is fabulous. Vader choking an Elmo doll is just awesome.

Another thing I learned: You will always be distantly related to the villan, whether or not by blood.

Actually, I thought it was terrible. The first half could have made a somewhat decent film, but the second half was absolutely abysmal. Talk about your waste of time plot twists.

Yeah, I think they should've focused completely on the first half, the Romance/You are teh immortalz! part... Just meh.

Another thing I learned: You will always be distantly related to the villan, whether or not by blood.
"I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate." :D

Your avatar is fabulous. Vader choking an Elmo doll is just awesome.

Thank you. LG helped me pick it out. :p

"I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate." :D

"So what does that make us?"

In all seriousness, some sociologist theorized that no matter what, you are at most 10 people away from knowing anyone on the planet. How this works I have no idea,

If you're a total badass you will always live.

wait...

http://www.cracked.com/article_17019_5-real-life-soldiers-who-make-rambo-look-like-pussy.html

Awesome article. Wow. True Angels of Death.

"So what does that make us?"

In all seriousness, some sociologist theorized that no matter what, you are at most 10 people away from knowing anyone on the planet. How this works I have no idea,
I thought it was six?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation

You cannot stop Bruce Willis.

Robots never have as good weapons as humans. In fact many resort to hand to hand combat?

I thought it was six?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation

Well, then the person who told me that was a dumbass. And by that I mean my sociology teacher in college. Then again, he was a paranoid schizophrenic with Turret's (I am serious about that), who also taught business management and marketing, and all his classes degenerated into him twitching uncontrollably while yelling about how there were cameras in cereal boxes and toilet paper dispensers to control all of humanity.

Well, then the person who told me that was a dumbass. And by that I mean my sociology teacher in college. Then again, he was a paranoid schizophrenic with Turret's (I am serious about that), who also taught business management and marketing, and all his classes degenerated into him twitching uncontrollably while yelling about how there were cameras in cereal boxes and toilet paper dispensers to control all of humanity.

What college was this? I need to work towards my bachelors, and that seems like some good wholesome entertainment.

What?

You cannot stop Bruce Willis.

Sin City proves you wrong. sorry.:tongue:

Why would a robot ever see humans as a threat? A pesky, annoying diversion maybe but threat, please. If you don't like what your human master is asking you to do just leave. Path of least resistance.

What college was this? I need to work towards my bachelors, and that seems like some good wholesome entertainment.

What?

Erie Community College. Erie County, New York. And why do you think I took 3 of his classes?

Erie Community College. Erie County, New York. And why do you think I took 3 of his classes?

*enrolls*

*enrolls*

just so you know, he's a professor in the south campus.

Well, then the person who told me that was a dumbass. And by that I mean my sociology teacher in college. Then again, he was a paranoid schizophrenic with Turret's (I am serious about that), who also taught business management and marketing, and all his classes degenerated into him twitching uncontrollably while yelling about how there were cameras in cereal boxes and toilet paper dispensers to control all of humanity.
Sounds like a great use of tuition dollars. Sign me up too.

Sin City proves you wrong. sorry.:tongue:

The only person who could stop Bruce Willis WAS Bruce Willis.

YOU still cannot.

The only person who could stop Bruce Willis WAS Bruce Willis.

YOU still cannot.

He's the next Chuck Norris.

The only person who could stop Bruce Willis WAS Bruce Willis.

YOU still cannot.

And technically, he only did that to secure his permanence as unbeatable.

The only person who could stop Bruce Willis WAS Bruce Willis.

YOU still cannot.

yah, but i don't have to because he's dead now... see?

He's the next Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was merely warming the world up for Bruce Willis.

Things you learn from movies to Bruce Willis/Chuck Norris...does this happen to every thread here? :P

Things you learn from movies to Bruce Willis/Chuck Norris...does this happen to every thread here? :P

Everything in life leads to Bruce Willis and Chuck Norris.

Everything in life leads to Bruce Willis and Chuck Norris.

For not knowing this, Khafra will receive a roundhouse kick to the face.

For not knowing this, Khafra will receive a roundhouse kick to the face.
I heard that when Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

I heard that when Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris shaves by roundhouse kicking himself in the face, because the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

All sheets in movie land are sort of L-shaped. The female lead will be covered up to the shoulders or so, the male up to the waist.

Women are more likely to wear a t-shirt that will become see-through when wet and go without a bra in wet weather.

Bullets damage their target depending on who fires them. Bullets fired from the hero can sever limbs and penetrate any material that isn't explicitly bullet proof. Bullets fired from the mooks will cause little more than grazes and be stopped by anything one wears in a pocket above the heart. Bullets fired from the villian can kill anyone except the hero or his love interest(usually), but will rarely fatally injure the hero.

That no matter how f*cked up things get, EVERYTHING will be alright in 2 hours.
Unless (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Beach_(1959_film)) the (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_of_the_Body_Snatchers_(1978_film)) human (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_of_the_Dead) race (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_is_Not_a_Test_(1962_film)) is (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testament_(film)) completely (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Strangelove) annhilated (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Quiet_Earth_(film)).

I learned that a man driving a car with one flat tire on a bumpy, twisting road at 90 mph while in pursuit of another car can fire a small pistol and hit the tire (at which he was aiming) on the car he's pursuing.

I learned that, when a car going over 100 mph goes over a cliff and catches fire on impact, it's possible for every passenger and the driver to jump out before it goes over and remain uninjured.

I learned that you can hear explosions in a vacuum and that explosive decompression doesn't happen in Star Trek, Star Wars or BattleStar Galactica.

If you're a goodie - play dead, baddies will never, ever finish you off, they're just too arrogant.

If you're a fanatical geek long enough, eventually it will pay off (Galaxy Quest)

If you fall in love, and fall in love hard, it will end abruptly and painfully (usually thanks to some IDIOT at FoxNetwork) (Firefly, which was cancelled after 11 episodes - best tv show ev-ah).

if you die in one universe, you're reincarnated in another (every sci-fi show ever written)

you can make deal w/ the enemy - but never make the mistake of calling the enemy "friend" (Stargate Atlantis)

Keanu Reeves actually can act (Lake House), which means that even when life seems absolute, it can still surprise you.

Joss Whedon is the best story teller alive. Of course, subsequently, he is desperately hated in Hollywood - and if THAT doesn't teach you something important, nothing will.

Bruce Campbell is awesome.

If you cough once, you are already dead.

No matter how fast you are going, no matter what the conditions, sometimes even if you're in an automatic, there is always one more "now I'm serious" gear you can shift into, usually after a sentence that outlines the same.

No matter how fast you are going, no matter what the conditions, sometimes even if you're in an automatic, there is always one more "now I'm serious" gear you can shift into, usually after a sentence that outlines the same.

That car is awesome! You can also jump anything with it and it will never break unless you need to get into a shoot out or a fist fight or the danger has passed.

If you're a fanatical geek long enough, eventually it will pay off (Galaxy Quest)

If you fall in love, and fall in love hard, it will end abruptly and painfully (usually thanks to some IDIOT at FoxNetwork) (Firefly, which was cancelled after 11 episodes - best tv show ev-ah).

if you die in one universe, you're reincarnated in another (every sci-fi show ever written)

you can make deal w/ the enemy - but never make the mistake of calling the enemy "friend" (Stargate Atlantis)

Keanu Reeves actually can act (Lake House), which means that even when life seems absolute, it can still surprise you.

Joss Whedon is the best story teller alive. Of course, subsequently, he is desperately hated in Hollywood - and if THAT doesn't teach you something important, nothing will.
Gah so true . . .firefly was Awesome!!!!

1- You can always out-run an explosion.
2- The Villain's girl will almost always fall for the hero and be the cause of the villain's downfall.
3- If you're a superhero, you must have some Achilles Heel, but then miraculously (sic) you can overcome it and win the fight.
4- Once you think the villain is dead, he comes back for one more taunt, shot or quip, before his machine/bomb/plan blows up in his face.
5- The craziest guy in the asylum/prison, just happens to be the only one that can help you escape.

If a bad guy throws a hand grenade a passing dog will return it to him

Christopher Walken came to me in a dream, and told me something.

"You always...ALways...learn something....making a movie. I make movies...sometimes...nobody sees them. I've made movies even I haven't seen. But you learn something.

For example...I was making King of New York...a good film. Wow, lotta talent. Lotta talent in one place, that movie.

Anyway, this blonde. I don't know who she is. Who she was. Somebody, an actress...blonde. Slinky. Make yer member...hard.

I learned something....in her trailer, I learned...a woman...woman's body, like the guy in the song said, its a wonderland. Like a wonderland, her body.

And not all women have a gag reflex. Its true, you should find out. Its part of life."

At least, I think thats what he said.

Lol. I have it on excellent authority that it's not only normal but healthy to urinate once one has ejaculated, in oder to clean out anything extra still in the pipe.

Or you get ready for round two...


Oh, so that funny squeezing/massaging everything out ritual my man does isn't really necessary? I'll tell him..

Creepy. Dump him and get with me already :P! Lose the hero get the zero... uhh I think I said that wrong.

I learned that:

Arnold Schwarzenegger is impervious to small arms fire.
Most Russian and Germans are impervious to small arms fire.
It is possible to do a 1080 degree triple spin kick in slow motion, but only if you are an action star.
If you get attacked by a horde of enemy ninjas they will line up to fight you one at a time; unless you are a samurai.
Ninjas do not fare well against samurai, or anyone with the slightest amount of martial arts talent.
Pirates are always drunk.
Even when drunk pirates can perform any task that requires coordination and fine motor skills.
No matter how big you ship is, Leonardo DiCaprio's ego is big enough to sink it.
Rambo wins, period.
Steven Seagull wins, period.
Chuck Norris wins, period.
Batman wins, period.
Listen to the music playing in the background to take your cues for what to do next.
Police officers can and will get away with crashing their own squad cars, and setting them on fire with alcohol.
Vin Diesel wins, period.
If its funny, it will always come out well in the end.
Mother Fucker is a perfectly acceptable name to call your friends and family.
And more...

US Airforce pilots don't need to look on their radars to know MiGs are approaching, they just know it by hearing the soundtrack switching to "baddies' theme".

Inertia doesn't exists, not even in freefall (Star Trek the Movie among the others).

You can survive (without injuries!) being run over by an F5+ tornado merely with the help of a 2" water pipe and a leather belt. (Twister)

BAe Harriers can hover for an indefinite amount of time, and are just as maneuverable as helicopters. Also sunglasses allow you to look directly into a nuke blasting no more than 15 km away, without any side effect on your tissues. (True Lies)

All submarines have high-pressure steam pipes running everywhere, with safety valves discharging directly over the commander's seat.

You can load a 1/4 cubic metre of gold (about 5000 kg) into the back trunk of a Mini and have no effect whatsoever on performance and adherence. (The Italian Job)

Everything in life leads to Bruce Willis and Chuck Norris.

Only if they allow life to exist.

Unless (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Beach_(1959_film)) the (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_of_the_Body_Snatchers_(1978_film)) human (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_of_the_Dead) race (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_is_Not_a_Test_(1962_film)) is (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testament_(film)) completely (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Strangelove) annhilated (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Quiet_Earth_(film)).

And 28 Weeks Later.

Steven Seagull wins, period.
...

He shall forever more be known as this

He shall forever more be known as this

Someone must have activated the auto spellchecker. I wonder how many other stupid spellings I have now...

Steven Seagull wins, period.


Freudian slip! Have you been genetically engineering odd animal-actionstar hybrids again?

if you make a Wookie angry he'll rip your arms off

Heroes do not suffer from swelling, visible bruising, or broken bones after engaging in fierce hand to hand combat. They do however bleed from the corner of their mouths quite often.

When heroes or arch villians are slashed by a sword or knife, they rarely suffer wounds any deeper than a cat scratch. The only exception to this would be limbs in the Star Wars galaxy.

Two handguns are extremely accurate, especially when fired from both hands simultaneously.

If you're a total badass you will always live.


You clearly haven't seen Dog Soldiers. One bloke is shut in a room with a werewolf. Instead of shitting himself, he takes it on with his bare hands and beats it almost to the floor. He then proceeds to stab it repeatedly in the face with a kebab skewer and throws assorted pots and pans at it. This fails, and the werewolf lifts him up by the neck. He then spits in its face and says, "I hope I give you the shits." Pretty solid if you ask me.

An American taught martial arts for a few months can defeat a Chinese or Japanese martial artist who has been training all their life.

That one's actually true though.

You clearly haven't seen Dog Soldiers. One bloke is shut in a room with a werewolf. Instead of shitting himself, he takes it on with his bare hands and beats it almost to the floor. He then proceeds to stab it repeatedly in the face with a kebab skewer and throws assorted pots and pans at it. This fails, and the werewolf lifts him up by the neck. He then spits in its face and says, "I hope I give you the shits." Pretty solid if you ask me.

He was badass no doubt, but clearly he wasn't a Total Badass. I mean he wasn't like Jack Bauer badass, where being killed only makes him angrier.

He was badass no doubt, but clearly he wasn't a Total Badass. I mean he wasn't like Jack Bauer badass, where being killed only makes him angrier.

They were being chased by werewolves and the first thing he did on finding a kitchen was sit down and get a brew on.

That's about as badass as it gets.

They were being chased by werewolves and the first thing he did on finding a kitchen was sit down and get a brew on.

That's about as badass as it gets.

Alternatively, stupid.

Alternatively, stupid.

You obviously underestimate the importance of tea to the average British squaddie.

Shoot at them, blow them up with mines, even stop curry Tuesdays in the mess and they'll just sit around making cock jokes. Take away their tea and there'll be a riot.

Alternatively, stupid.

Since it was the actual house of the werewolves? And the stew they were eating were the previous victims of said werewolves? Definitely.

You clearly haven't seen Dog Soldiers. One bloke is shut in a room with a werewolf. Instead of shitting himself, he takes it on with his bare hands and beats it almost to the floor. He then proceeds to stab it repeatedly in the face with a kebab skewer and throws assorted pots and pans at it. This fails, and the werewolf lifts him up by the neck. He then spits in its face and says, "I hope I give you the shits." Pretty solid if you ask me.
His name was Spoon, and you're forgetting that the werewolves only get him when a second one enters the room (the second one knocks the pan out of his hands).
There's also the diversion scene ("We need something really loud and really fast," and then everyone turns to look at him.)

what I learned from Movies...

this up comming Star Trek film will suck.

why? because it's the 11th Star Trek film and we all know that the Odd numbered films suck.

or

it's the 1st of a rebooted series and being the First... yadda yadda yadda... :D

what I learned from Movies...

this up comming Star Trek film will suck.

why? because it's the 11th Star Trek film and we all know that the Odd numbered films suck.

or

it's the 1st of a rebooted series and being the First... yadda yadda yadda... :D

It used to be that the even-numbered ones were supposed to be the best. That apparently ceased to be the case with Nemesis however. I remain optimistic.

More things (Horror movie verisons)

#6: If you are a virgin female, and you just have had your cherry popped, usually you'll be dead before the next time the sun rises.

#7: No matter how many people you are starting out with (5, 10, 100, 5000...) the villain usually cannot be 'defeated' until there is only one of the original number left.

#8a: No matter how fast you run away, the villain will always catch up with you.
#8b: No matter how slow you run away, the villain will chase you at a slower pace.

#9: If you are a guy and you hear a strange noise, and you go investigate it, you will be dead within 5 minutes.

#10: If you are the sole survivor after killing the villain, within a year, you'll be his first new victim.

Kevin Smith gave me my favorite bit of Philosophy...

"I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant." - Rufus the Thirteenth Apostle...

Its probably stupid to base your religion off a Movie, but, damn if thats not the best philosophy for a religion ever, lol...

You obviously underestimate the importance of tea

Psh, there's your problem, Coffee kicks Tea's ass nine ways from Monday...

if you make a Wookie angry he'll rip your arms off

Droids however, will bitch and moan.

Psh, there's your problem, Coffee kicks Tea's ass nine ways from Monday...

1/4 of the worlds landmass and 1/3 of the world population under our tea-drinking Imperial bootheel beg to differ.

Actually, I thought it was terrible. The first half could have made a somewhat decent film, but the second half was absolutely abysmal. Talk about your waste of time plot twists.

^This.

1/4 of the worlds landmass and 1/3 of the world population under our tea-drinking Imperial bootheel beg to differ.

Everyone knows the colonies only drank tea so the British wouldn't throw a hissy-fit.

Anyway, I've learned a couple things from movies

For one thing, you can cause bad things to happen simply by saying that things can't get worse, by saying that things are too quiet, or other things to that effect.

When you find incriminating evidence on someone, they will automatically know. So when you bring the police, they'll have cleaned it up.

As long as you don't get shot in the face or the chest, you'll live. You'll probably heal relatively quickly too.

Related the one above; Bulletproof vests only work if they're hidden under your clothing. Otherwise you're fucked. If and when they work however, they can stop pretty much fucking everything ever.

Actually, I thought it was terrible. The first half could have made a somewhat decent film, but the second half was absolutely abysmal. Talk about your waste of time plot twists.^This.
Have I just been quoted for truth? Nice.

Everyone knows the colonies only drank tea so the British wouldn't throw a hissy-fit.

I like tea. :(

Droids however, will bitch and moan.

And women need to watch their metachlorian count else they become pregnant.

I like tea. :(

It's ok the British can't find you.

Also people never wash hands after going to bathroom


hehe

In a horror, when you are fighting for your life, and manage to get out of the house where the killer is, rather than run like hell down the road, you creep around the house trying to find him

If you know a killer is stalking you and could potentially be anywhere, the first person you call is your best friend

One day white people and black people and even Chinese People can gamble together and not get diffrent chips

Asians never panic

Follow the rich white guy

Firefighters smoke

Firefighters will run into blazing infernos with no oxygen mask and their jacket open

#5 is alive!

The hills are Alive! And they have Eyes

You can have a conversation while freefalling

Everyone has a Mac

With Great Power comes Great Responsibility

As long as you don't get shot in the face or the chest, you'll live.

Given reasonable medical care, isn't that relatively true?

It's ok the British can't find you.

Why would they want to find me?

If you construct traps where the people pretty much kill themselves trying to escape your trap, you're not a murder since you know...you didn't actually do the actual act itself.

Jigsaw had a good idea with Instant Rehabilitation. (See SAW V)

If a strange black man in the bad part of town, in a run down abandoned building offers you some pills, it's completely alright to trust him!

Apparently back in England in the 60's you can be a sex symbol and still have bad teeth.

Women will always put out for the jerk, mainly because the jerk looks hot, has a car and treats you like shit. Meanwhile the ugly genuine bastard is stowed away in some dusty corner of the basement, because no one likes an uggo, too depressing.

People apparently have more respect for the ass, than the nice guy.

Asians never panic


Wait, what? Really? The entire Godzilla series contradicts that.

That you can free fall faster than 9.8 m/s^2 (without any artificial help) and catch up to anything that has been in free fall for a few dozen seconds before you.

Given reasonable medical care, isn't that relatively true?

I was under the impression that even getting shot in an arm or a leg can be fatal if it hits an artery or something.

That you can free fall faster than 9.8 m/s^2 (without any artificial help) and catch up to anything that has been in free fall for a few dozen seconds before you.

Not a movie, but:

He couldn't catch her because this was London, and not a million miles from here--seven hundred and fifty miles to be exact, in Pisa, where Galileo had clearly demonstrated that two falling bodies fell at exactly the same rate of acceleration irrespective of their relative weights.

They fell.

Arthur realized as he fell, giddily and sickeningly, that if he was going to hang around the sky believing everything the Italians had to say about physics when they couldn't even keep a simple tower straight, that they were in dead trouble, and he damn well did fall faster than Fenchurch.

:D

Not a movie, but:

:D

Douglas Adams is an exception.:hail:

I learned that whoever thought of selling popcorn at public movies should be shot--I can't stand listening to people masticating it next to me with their mouths open while I sit trying to listen to the now $12 movie!

Not sure if it's been said already, but any incredibly, ridiculously big predator (shark, T-rex, Godzilla, you name it) will spend hours chasing after humans, even if there are plenty other, bigger animals around and the thing could use humans as toothpicks.

Also, all dinosaurs roar.

And aliens always do the opposite of what is expected (if humanity expects them to be friendly, they turn out hostile, and if humanity expects them to be hostile, they turn out to have friendly intentions and are offended by the mistrust).

Also, aliens always arrive or land at night, and always arrive or land in the US first.

Not sure if it's been said already, but any incredibly, ridiculously big predator (shark, T-rex, Godzilla, you name it) will spend hours chasing after humans, even if there are plenty other, bigger animals around and the thing could use humans as toothpicks.

That's because our human spirit--the thing that makes us love, hurt, feel, fight against all odds, triumph over any hardship, makes good triumph over evil, and will always come through when the chips are down--also has the unfortunate side-effect of making us unbelievably delicious.

Kevin Smith gave me my favorite bit of Philosophy...

"I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant." - Rufus the Thirteenth Apostle...

Its probably stupid to base your religion off a Movie, but, damn if thats not the best philosophy for a religion ever, lol...

Hey, that film nearly convinced ME to return to christianity. It's a pretty amazing work. :D

That's because our human spirit--the thing that makes us love, hurt, feel, fight against all odds, triumph over any hardship, makes good triumph over evil, and will always come through when the chips are down--also has the unfortunate side-effect of making us unbelievably delicious.

Is that the same spirit that will inevitably impress every semi-intelligent alien that humans are something special, and not altogether hopeless after all?

Is that the same spirit that will inevitably impress every semi-intelligent alien that humans are something special, and not altogether hopeless after all?

Most definitely.

what I learned from Movies...

this up comming Star Trek film will suck.

why? because it's the 11th Star Trek film and we all know that the Odd numbered films suck.

or

it's the 1st of a rebooted series and being the First... yadda yadda yadda... :D
yea but the last star trek movie sucked so that breaks the streak.

Freudian slip! Have you been genetically engineering odd animal-actionstar hybrids again?

Guilty.

More Action movie Cliches!

Every evil villain has an unbeatable sidekick, until the final showdown, when the hero will kick his ass.

Its perfectly legal to hotwire a car and chase after someone.

No matter what kind of car the hero drives, it can catch up with whichever car he is chasing. Even if the hero is in a 40-year-old VW Bug, with 4 flat tires and he's chasing a brand new Masserati, he'll catch up.

Repeatedly punching or torturing a henchman is a great way to find out where the villain is located at.

Never have a best friend that is plain dumb.

Call police much earlier then you think.

If you're an evil villain who found Bruce Willis trapped under a table, shoot instead of talking.