NationStates Jolt Archive

What would you make it for? What would it be about? Would you use humor, sex, facts, a combination of any of these to sell what you advert? Who would be your target audience? And finally, can you come up with at least one commercial script?

I'm pulling strings out of the air and I draw out Soccer. I would do advertisements for World Cup Soccer aimed toward the general American public.

I'd get my message across using humor, because I am good at humor. My commercials would revolve around one of the central things that makes Soccer different from most common sports in the USA, a goalie; my slogan: "It's just better when there's a goalie."

Commercial Spot:
A man in golf get-up is standing on a putting green surounded by a crowed of totaly silent onlookers. Two announcers speak softly just as in the sport.

Announcer 1:"If Lion Metal makes this put he will have clinched the highest prize money winnings in the history of proffesional golf."
Announcer 2: "He's going to take his time here, and make sure that his shot is going to line up perfectly with the cup; the crowed is breathless with anticipation."

Finally the golfer swings his club, hitting the ball for the long putt, it travels perfectly and at just the right speed to fall into the hole...

Suddenly a man dressed in a generic yellow soccer jersey (perhaps even a famous soccer goalie) dives from seemingly out of nowhere, the tips of his fingers barely push the ball back and it rolls off to the side, stopping inches form the cup.

Announcer 1: "What a Bee-aaa-uuu-tiful save!"

The onlookers cheer loudly, cries of "Ol-ae, Ol-lae, O-lae, O-lae" break out.

Cut from the scene, all the cheering and chanting becomes that from an actual game as footage of some of the seasons most exciting moments flashes across the screen.

Anouncer 2: "Its just better when there's a goalie!"

End: Fade out to black screen displaying information on World Cup Soccer.

I always wanted to do spots for the American Le Mans Series.

The first would be someone showing up to an event in a BMW. As he gets out, the DINAN BMW drives by. Another guy in a Porsche parks, as he gets out the Flying Lizards Porsche goes by. Repeats with the Goodwrench Corvette, etc. Then the text, Real Cars. Real Racing. American Le Mans.

The next one would be the cars racing at dusk, it gets darker, the headlights come on. Real Headlights. Real Cars. Real Racing.

The next, various marques of the series meeting at a stop light, the drivers eyes meet. There are overlays of the years of rivalary, back to the drivers, they have helmets on, they are lined up on the track. Scores. Settled. Real Racing.

Eh a commercial where I just call everyone idiots. "You're an idiot" over and over. :D

Football kicker stands in the middle of a roaring stadium. Camera pans to shouting and cheering fans. An area in the bottom left corner denotes that the Home team is down to the Away team 20 to 22 and there are only 4 seconds left on the game clock.

"And it all comes down to this! If Bobby Booter can kick this 47 yeard field goal the Home Team will take the championship!"

Kicker calls hike, ball is snapped, ball holder sets it perfectly and the kicker hits the ball squarely. The football flies through the air high and fast, the crowd falls totally silent.

"The kick is up aaaaaaannnnnnndddd.... What a Bee-aaa-uuu-tiful save!"

As last time, at the last second a man dressed in a soccer uniform, this time with a bungie cord and harness jumps into the air and deflects the ball using his head.

Flash to scene, all the cheering and chanting becomes that from an actual game as footage of some of the seasons most exciting moments flashes across the screen.

Return, football kicker slowly wlaks off field, head down.

"It's just better when there is a goalie!"

How about a movie trailer...

Text: Two years ago, Los Angeles was sent to hell.

Visual: Los Angeles in Hell, demons near major landmarks.

Text: But a few still fight for good.

Visual: Angel riding his dragon.

Text: And soon...

Visual: Angel, Spike, Lorne, Wesley performing a ritual.

Text: A new force for good will arise

Visual: Faith steps out of the circle.

Faith: You called?

Visual: Images flash by - Faith and Angel fighting demons, looking at ritual items.

Wesley: This ritual can summon every Slayer on Earth to Los Angeles.

Spike: At which point...

Angel: We'll be able to restore Los Angeles to Earth.

Visual: Hundreds of teenage girls kicking ass

Text: From the creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

Text: Comes an adventure beyond all imagination

Text: David Boreanaz. Eliza Dushku. James Marsters. Alexis Denisof. Alyson Hannigan. And Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Title Card:
CITY OF DEMONS

Eh a commercial where I just call everyone idiots. "You're an idiot" over and over. :D
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/youare :D

And I'd do one for something fun like snow or something. AM HIGH ON SNOW TODAY FOLKS.

A 21st. century remake of the "Where's the beef?!" commercials.

A 21st. century remake of the "Where's the beef?!" commercials.
Hopefully as part of a "Come see scenic Pamplona" series of ads :D

I'd love to direct something to advertise the new Blood Bowl game coming out. It would mostly be ten-second spots where someone doing some everyday activity is tackled viciously by an orc or a lizard man. Just a tiny little link to the website and let the internet do the rest.

Apple Guy: Hi I'm a mac

PC Guy: And I'm a pc

Chick wearing a penguin costume comes out wearing a giant strap-on.

Linux Chick: I'm Linux Bitches!

Cut to pileup on floor Linux is penetrating PC Guy, PC guy penetrating Mac Guy.

Fade to white w/ text:

Why can't we all just get along.

Apple Guy: Hi I'm a mac

PC Guy: And I'm a pc

Chick wearing a penguin costume comes out wearing a giant strap-on.

Linux Chick: I'm Linux Bitches!

Cut to pileup on floor Linux is penetrating PC Guy, PC guy penetrating Mac Guy.

Fade to white w/ text:

Why can't we all just get along.

I'm confused. Are you making a commercial to market transgender furries?

Hopefully as part of a "Come see scenic Pamplona" series of ads :D

Asturias, sweetie, Asturias. And in that case, it should be in Spanish: Dónde está la carne?!.

*utterly wrongcock fetishes*
Erm?

Asturias, sweetie, Asturias.
I was referring to the whole El Running De Los Bulls :p

I was referring to the whole El Running De Los Bulls :p

In that case, I wouldn't be in the commercial.:(

"Corrida de toros", fyi.

A 21st. century remake of the "Where's the beef?!" commercials.

I say we exhume the body of the original actress, put the t shirt on her and just train the camera on the ghastliness for 30 seconds.

"It's not fast food, it's... oh God, I think she moved!"

I say we exhume the body of the original actress, put the t shirt on her and just train the camera on the ghastliness for 30 seconds.

"It's not fast food, it's... oh God, I think she moved!"

Brainsssss!

In that case, I wouldn't be in the commercial.:(
I thought women could do the whole encierro thing :confused:
"Corrida de toros", fyi.
I was just trying to delight and amuse with my engspañol *sighs*

I thought women could do the whole encierro thing :confused:

Oh, they do. Those with severe brain damage or a huge case of "air headedness" do so. You wouldn't caught me dead doing an "encierro".

I was just trying to delight and amuse with my engspañol *sighs*

I rather like it if you would use your superior English accent.:fluffle:

An advert for a house brick would be difficult to make.

I doubt anyone could get that excited by a house brick.

Brainsssss!

And also a baked potato and some mandarin oranges.

Oh, they do. Those with severe brain damage or a huge case of "air headedness" do so. You wouldn't caught me dead doing an "encierro".
Fair enough.
I rather like it if you would use your superior English accent.:fluffle:
:fluffle:

Although I do find it a bit easy to impress foreign women with an RP accent and "How do you do?" as a greeting.

I have always wanted a commercial for a van - typical white van man one like a Ford Transit - that uses a play on words of the Double Impact strapline

"Twice the damn van"

And also a baked potato and some mandarin oranges.

Dirty.

Although I do find it a bit easy to impress foreign women with an RP accent and "How do you do?" as a greeting.

You can make me swoon with a nice, English accent. Then again, I've been told my accent makes foreign men swoon too.

You can make me swoon with a nice, English accent. Then again, I've been told my accent makes foreign men swoon too.
It's the whole protestant/catholic "forbidden fruit" thing, srsly.

It's the whole protestant/catholic "forbidden fruit" thing, srsly.

Must be that.

An advert for a house brick would be difficult to make.

I doubt anyone could get that excited by a house brick.

Pffft! Easy. Shot of Hitler. Shot of Brick. Voiceover by Stephen Fry "Brick. It's better than Hitler."

Pffft! Easy. Shot of Hitler. Shot of Brick. Voiceover by Stephen Fry "Brick. It's better than Hitler."
:D

That would be spot on.

Apple Guy: Hi I'm a mac

PC Guy: And I'm a pc

Chick wearing a penguin costume comes out wearing a giant strap-on.

Linux Chick: I'm Linux Bitches!

Cut to pileup on floor Linux is penetrating PC Guy, PC guy penetrating Mac Guy.

Fade to white w/ text:

Why can't we all just get along.

Epic Win!

I have another idea.

You see a quiet meadow, with some trees and a river. It's a nice spring day, and then you pan over to the right, to see a van. and then it fades to white with the text. "Living in a van, down by the river." :D

"You probably switched to this channel to watch a programme. Maybe a music video, well tough luck sucker, you have to sit through minutes of adverts about crap that you don't want!"

Making sure to purchase the first slot in the break, of course.

Epic Win!

I have another idea.

You see a quiet meadow, with some trees and a river. It's a nice spring day, and then you pan over to the right, to see a van. and then it fades to white with the text. "Living in a van, down by the river." :D

In a related bloggy note: I once lived in a car by the ocean. It was awesome (at least for a while). I even had WiFi.

Eh a commercial where I just call everyone idiots. "You're an idiot" over and over. :D

That's not quite as funny as a hidden advert for cigarettes spliced in.
Smoke

mine would be for the need to have a conscience for there to continue to be a planet we could live on. i'm not the one to write it though. or at least not right this moment.

many of my favorite interesting little sub details of that come to my mind as well.

those having to do with promoting alternative transportation and energy being my fondest.

i did design a bumper sticker once, although having it BE a bumper sticker is perhaps a bit hypocritical,
(hypocritical, but potentially effective considering the context):

in the upper half it had the words;"if this country had a real transportation system", superimposed over the outline of a hight speed train, the lower half the words:"we would not be stuck in traffic" superimposed over an overhead drawing of a traffic jam.

mine would be for the need to have a conscience for there to continue to be a planet we could live on. i'm not the one to write it though. or at least not right this moment.

many of my favorite interesting little sub details of that come to my mind as well.

those having to do with promoting alternative transportation and energy being my fondest.

i did design a bumper sticker once, although having it BE a bumper sticker is perhaps a bit hypocritical,
(hypocritical, but potentially effective considering the context):

in the upper half it had the words;"if this country had a real transportation system", superimposed over the outline of a hight speed train, the lower half the words:"we would not be stuck in traffic" superimposed over an overhead drawing of a traffic jam.

I like it! Are you smoking yet?