NationStates Jolt Archive

As some of you know, I died on March 2, 1982, leaving the world in the relatively safe hands of Reagan, Thatcher, and our proto-Taliban allies, all of whom would fight communism to the death.

However, having arrived in Heaven, I was disturbed to discover that the afterlife is quite boring. If you've seen one Bergman film, you've seen them all, and our categorical universal unity with the All of Being makes gossip and fucking pointless.

There is, however, one hobby that is widely followed, and that is sending messages to Gary Busey from the Spirit World.

We recently informed him that the word BIBLE stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. We also told him that he needs to start using money to "honor the homeless", and we're waiting to see whether he builds statues to them, gives them vellum certificates, or possibly some kind of jerky-based medal.

So, NSG, what say you? What "supernatural information" as he calls it should be given to Gary Busey?

You should tell him that he should become familiar with eminent 21st century philosophers Andaras Prime and Hammurab.

Oh, and give him a free Qur'an.

-_-

He needs to start coke up again, especially when riding a motorcycle,

heaven should tell him the secrets of the universe so that he can become the new prophet of god.

You should tell him that he should become familiar with eminent 21st century philosophers Andaras Prime and Hammurab.

Oh, and give him a free Qur'an.

-_-

Cool, we'll tell him "Gary, you need to read the Qur'an....it stands for Quit Urinating Randomly, American Nationals"

He needs to start coke up again, especially when riding a motorcycle,

Oh, hell yeah.

"Gary...God is using you as a conduit...he needs you to be more energetic, and get better gas mileage...thus, call Robert Evans for a new coke connection and have Tom Cruise loan you some motorcycles!"

heaven should tell him the secrets of the universe so that he can become the new prophet of god.

We tried that with Georg Cantor...he died farting in the bathtub in a mental institution.

Although Gary has shown the ability to remain relatively...uncontained...in human society, even under the maddening influence of the divine...

That 42 is the answer to everything. *nod*

That 42 is the answer to everything. *nod*

Be on the lookout for him being arrested at the next Fields Medal ceremony, tasered and dragged from the hall screaming "God says that's not the answer! 42 is the answer! 42! I have supernatural information!"

"Gary, that's powdered sugar you've got there."

"Gary, that's powdered sugar you've got there."

"Its God's sweetener, Gary. It raises your consciousness. It brings you closer to the Spiritual Realm and lubricates you as our conduit to the world! Besides, Coke equals Rehab equals At Least Some Press Coverage!"

I think Gary Busey is just the greatest actor ever to have lived and we are too dull to realize it.

The ultimate method actor is never out of character.

I think Gary Busey is just the greatest actor ever to have lived and we are too dull to realize it.

The ultimate method actor is never out of character.

Heh, you could be right...but if cognitive behaviour models are correct, by acting that way long enough...he'll actually just be freakin' nuts.

Small price to pay for greatness, I suppose.

After all, this man played Buddy Holly.

Heh, you could be right...but if cognitive behaviour models are correct, by acting that way long enough...he'll actually just be freakin' nuts.

Small price to pay for greatness, I suppose.

After all, this man played Buddy Holly.
A portion of Wickipedia on Gary Busey's Latest Brain State:

"In 2008, he joined the second season of the reality show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Per Gary's contract and VH1's press release, he was to be part of the mentoring team and not a patient. Dr. Drew has expressed a different opinion, saying that he can help by being in group meetings with others and is not part of the staff, but part of the patients of this second season. Busey was previously addicted to cocaine, but has been clean from cocaine for 13 years.

In a conversation with model Amber Smith, being treated for a pain killer addiction, he revealed several acronyms related to religion and sobriety, which he called "Busey-isms," and stated his intention to compile them into a book. These included "Gone: Getting Over Negative Energy," "Faith: Fantastic Adventures In Trusting Him," "Sober: Son Of a Bitch Everything's Real," "Fraud: Finding Relevant Answers Under Deception," and "Freedom: Facing Real Exciting Energy Developing Out of Miracles." In a talking head interview recorded later, Smith expressed appreciation for Busey's knowledge and enthusiasm, but also felt he was "crazier than [she] is."[12]

At Dr. Pinsky's recommendation, Busey was seen at the facility by psychiatrist Dr. Charles Sophy. Sophy suspected that Gary's brain injury has had a greater effect on him than realized. He described it as essentially weakening his mental "filters" and causing him to speak and act impulsively, as well as causing slow nerve action due to microcephalic hematoma. He recommended Gary take a medication called depakote, to which he agreed.[citation needed]"

I think Heaven should tell Mr. Busey, in a "Busey-ism," to "GAB-A-LOT"; i.e., "Get A Brain-And-Learn Other Thoughts"

How about this: "Never Understimate Tequila Shots" or "NUTS"??

Tell him to reveal to the world his most disturbing secret, that he and Nick Nolte are the same person.

"Gary Busey, This is The Lord Thy God, Tell them to stop putting flavoured shit in the Coffee!!"

(with a tip of the hat to Dennis Leary)

"Gary Busey, This is The Lord Thy God, Tell them to stop putting flavoured shit in the Coffee!!"

(with a tip of the hat to Dennis Leary)

ban sugar and cream in coffee while your at it too Busey !!

I can't think of anything he doesn't probably believe already. I'd say 'tell him he's wearing an invisible hat that grants immunity to head injury' but someone basically beat me to it.

"Gary Busey, This is The Lord Thy God, Tell them to stop putting flavoured shit in the Coffee!!"

(with a tip of the hat to Dennis Leary)

Aw, but that stuff's tasty. It's incidentally one of the most stolen items from Nestle's warehouses... the 50-lb sacks of it are worth several thousand dollars apiece, and they go missing regularly. Don't ask me how I know this.

Tell him to reveal to the world his most disturbing secret, that he and Nick Nolte are the same person.

And when Nick Nolte hears the announcement, he at first doesn't react, and spends twenty minutes trying to figure out if that actually sounds right...

"Wear a helmet." Oops! Too late!

Be on the lookout for him being arrested at the next Fields Medal ceremony, tasered and dragged from the hall screaming "God says that's not the answer! 42 is the answer! 42! I have supernatural information!"

With 42 he can't go wrong. *nod*

With 42 he can't go wrong. *nod*For the record, however, a towel *does not* suit every occasion. :(

For the record, however, a towel *does not* suit every occasion. :(

A towel?:confused:

A towel?:confused:Are you sh*tting me?
:confused:

Are you sh*tting me?
:confused:

You got me so confused right now.:confused: