NationStates Jolt Archive


Poetry Time?

Slythros
27-01-2009, 04:33
So chaps, I'm thinking it's time for a poetry thread. Post your favorite poems, and we can discuss them. If you're of a poetic bent, post stuff you've written and we can discuss that too. To start us off, I'll post something I've written recently. In return, I hope you fellows will delight us with your works.




I believe in everything that doesn't exist
and I go through every item on the list
and strive for my moment of epiphany
but the deafening cacophony of idiocy
is far beyond my capacity for understanding
so I gently come down for the landing, and end my out of body experience
with a quiet beep of discovery
I emerge from the shrubbery and set fire the flowers
to cleanse the garden with ashes
soap might have worked better
I become more and more pretentious
as I increase my powers of retention
to the point of no collapse
I fall back and hastily attempt to destroy the healthy order of my life
but it is too late, and I live happily ever after
until I run out of self to devour and collapse
or that may have been the carbon monoxide
either way
the sun will explode eventually
and the bright new day will be over at last
one of these days
I'm going to have to write something about that
one of these days
I'm going to have to stop
I can only hope that nothing works out as it should
if contradiction could join with incoherence
then add the outer appearance of genius
you would achieve a masterfully pretentious work
of nothing
but
if nothing is real
then we are enveloped by it
consumed, ecstatic in the glory of our deliverance
and meanwhile, we neglect our obeisance towards our rightful overlords
the glands and the neurons, the sparks and chemicals that rule us and abuse us at their whims
as we realize we cannot swim in a sea of gold and silver
the sliver of thought remaining informs us of the imminent departure of our God
we break free from the land of the insane
and we are alive

Edit: Time for some more

Last night I had a dream
I was being eaten alive from the inside
And breaking apart at the seams

I don’t know what it means
I don’t think it means anything
I wish I had more dreams
I don’t think that means anything


I used to enjoy
My dreams
Now I just prefer them
To my reality


Last night I had a dream
Where everything was exactly as it seemed


There used to be a time
And a place for everything
I missed mine


I can’t remember
How to live
I don’t know if I ever knew


I’m finished with dreams
I break through the screen
And face the cold light
Of myself

I wish I had more dreams
Where I was eaten alive from the inside
And breaking apart at the seams
King Arthur the Great
27-01-2009, 04:51
Poetry Time?

No.
Ryadn
27-01-2009, 04:53
no.

iawtc.
Slythros
27-01-2009, 04:54
No.

I suppose I walked into that one.
Ancient and Holy Terra
27-01-2009, 04:57
Good stuff, except the ending is rather dramatic.
Slythros
27-01-2009, 05:00
Good stuff, except the ending is rather dramatic.

Thanks
Truly Blessed
27-01-2009, 05:16
Not bad. Has potential. Needs more flowery language.

To the critics let's see you do better.
Ancient and Holy Terra
27-01-2009, 05:18
Oh, I could hardly do better. I just know to avoid dramatic, predictable language as an ending.

It was legit. <3
Truly Blessed
27-01-2009, 05:35
Unsettled and alone
The whispers come like crows at dawn
Gnawing at your insides
Shatter into inky pools on a stone floor

Ancient word softly spoken
Like the sun passing from behind a cloud
All at once the spell is broken
The song birds return from their winter retreat
Children play in the street
Spring has returned at last
Slythros
27-01-2009, 05:49
Not bad. Has potential. Needs more flowery language.

To the critics let's see you do better.

thanks

Unsettled and alone
The whispers come like crows at dawn
Gnawing at your insides
Shatter into inky pools on a stone floor

Ancient word softly spoken
Like the sun passing from behind a cloud
All at once the spell is broken
The song birds return from their winter retreat
Children play in the street
Spring has returned at last

Excellent, I enjoy this a lot
Yootopia
27-01-2009, 05:53
Internet Poetry
Is usually so very pish
Stop the hurting now.
Ryadn
27-01-2009, 05:59
Needs more flowery language.

>_<

I'm sorry, but that's some of the worst writing advice I've ever seen.
One-O-One
27-01-2009, 05:59
Dear Shakespeare
I do not like your stuff
so stuff it
Yootopia
27-01-2009, 05:59
>_<

I'm sorry, but that's some of the worst writing advice I've ever seen.
Quite.
Ancient and Holy Terra
27-01-2009, 06:01
Quite.Depends on the genre he/she enjoys, in my opinion. I hate all of that florid crap, but it's acceptable at times.
Maraque
27-01-2009, 06:06
I'm in a poetry class in college.

I've never done poetry in my life.

I'm so screwed.
Yootopia
27-01-2009, 06:09
Lots of three-liners,
But not enough good haikus.
Sure sign of weakness.
Ryadn
27-01-2009, 06:12
Depends on the genre he/she enjoys, in my opinion. I hate all of that florid crap, but it's acceptable at times.

Even if you like florid crap, "use more flowery words" is still crappy advice. I mean, hell, why not "use more words that start with 'g'" or "use more words with seven letters"?
Ryadn
27-01-2009, 06:13
I'm in a poetry class in college.

I've never done poetry in my life.

I'm so screwed.

Are you kidding? There's nothing in the world easier to fake than poetry.

That said, there's nothing in the world that's as difficult to craft as good poetry.
Neo Art
27-01-2009, 06:15
Are you kidding? There's nothing in the world easier to fake than poetry.

That said, there's nothing in the world that's as difficult to craft as good poetry.

Funny...I heard the same thing about orgasms...
Yootopia
27-01-2009, 06:16
Funny...I heard the same thing about orgasms...
Myself with parenting.
Slythros
27-01-2009, 06:32
Time for more

#1
As you wheel over the landscape you can hear

The final cries of a lost and dying generation

Fallen like flies to the apathy that suffocates

And degenerates all it encounters, locking them beyond closed doors

Away from the ground floors as they pay no attention

To the world as it explodes around their feet, they eat raw meat

And pretend that nothing is wrong as the buzzards circle their graves

And pretend to be happy as they work as their own slaves

Never considering a world they have never seen

Never thinking about a person they have never been

As they sit behind closed doors in apathetic isolation

And suffocate


#2

In the deadening silence of the new world order

The fools and the liars gather round to compound

The mistakes made by the cheats and the fakes

As the ashes of a world pile up outside their door

They move to a higher floor, they play their games

And never suspect that the cause of all their joy

Is the ever-present pain, and so they sit there

Isolated and ostracized, and wait for the day

When they collect their pay and run into the sky

Until it finds them, and the ashes of a world

And the memories of a new world order

Are all that is left

And the fakes and the cheats and the liars and the fools

Make a pyre for all of their own rules

And all who are left run from the vengeance

of an earth gone mad,

and there is nothing left.
Elves Security Forces
27-01-2009, 06:38
As a lover of poetry and occasional writer myself, I have one piece of advice,

RUN AWAY!!!

NSG will kill your soul!