NationStates Jolt Archive

Well who would win and why?

*edit*damnit my screen froze while making the poll but here are the options..

1. John McClane
2. Indiana Jones
3. James Bond
4. Jason Bourne
5. Jack Ryan
6. Mad Max
7. Frank Martin
8. Chuck Norris
9. John Rambo
10. The Terminator
11. Robocop (why not?)



(Warning: may be edited with no notice)

McClane, sans doubt. Any of the others fought on a plane wing? No.

Jason Statham. Apparently, we're supposed to be naming characters, but it isn't as if he played anyone other than his own sexy, sarcastic, cool self ever.

Jason Statham. Apparently, we're supposed to be naming characters, but it isn't as if he played anyone other than his own sexy, sarcastic, cool self ever.

I need to add that.

*edit* I added the transporter character.

Jason Statham. Apparently, we're supposed to be naming characters, but it isn't as if he played anyone other than his own sexy, sarcastic, cool self ever.
Good diver, mediocre actor.

John Rambo. He'd get all PTSD on their ass. And blow up a small town in the process.

John Rambo. He'd get all PTSD on their ass. And blow up a small town in the process.

LOL! I must be drunk if I didn't have rambo on the list.

Ash Williams
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ash_Williams

I need to add that.

*edit* I added the transporter character.
Bacon was my favorite role of his, but I guess Frank has been repeated enough to work.
Good diver, mediocre actor.
Driver or diver? He's got an aesthetic appeal too, and in some movies (LSaTSB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120735/), The Bank Job (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200465/)) he demonstrates an emotive and comedic capacity beyond that of the average plank.

Of those listed, I am only familiar with Bond, Bourne, Jones, and McClane. As far as they are concerned, my opinion is as follows, with the competitors rated from worst to best:

Jones:

Tough, good shot, but not superhuman in his abilities. He's merely a decent brawler/gunslinger from what I can recall.

Bond (I'm going with the Daniel Craig version for the purposes of this thread):

A tough and ruthless brawler, though not perhaps the most skilled hand to hand fighter. A decent shot. A good fighter in all catagories (and damn good pilot if Quantum of Solace is any indication), but not great.

Bourne (movie version):

A superb hand to hand combatant, I'd say he's an easy match in this category for either Bond or Jones. His fight in that apartment in The Bourne Ultimatum was a pretty impressive show of skill and thinking on his feet during a fight.

McClane:

I'm reluctant to rate him as number one, since I've only seen the most recent film. However, from what I can recall he is insanely tough, fairly inventive, and the kind of fights he survives are absurdly wanked.

That said, I'm haven't seen any of these guys in a movie recently enough or enough times to have more than a vauge idea. And really, Bourne could probably take McClane in hand to hand.

Edit: The T-1000 takes any of them in melee, obviously. Its stealth abilities also mean it will likely be able to get the jump on the others. If they know its coming after them though, its possible that they'll be able to lure it into a trap and destroy it, or bring it down with heavy weapons fire. But really, throwing a Terminator into the fray seems somewhat unfair.

Also, Batman should be on here, as should the original Terminator.

Driver or diver?
Diver. 12th best in the world in 1992.
He's got an aesthetic appeal too, and in some movies (LSaTSB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120735/), The Bank Job (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200465/)) he demonstrates an emotive and comedic capacity beyond that of the average plank.
Fair enough, yet to really see enough of him.

Bacon was my favorite role of his, but I guess Frank has been repeated enough to work.


If there were more than one of those films, It would have been bacon for sure...


Driver or diver? He's got an aesthetic appeal too, and in some movies (LSaTSB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120735/), The Bank Job (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200465/)) he demonstrates an emotive and comedic capacity beyond that of the average plank.

True, but in a fight to the death he needs some transporter, two-pistol action more than his comedic wit.

John Rambo. He'd get all PTSD on their ass. And blow up a small town in the process.
Oh, I forgot about him. The first Rambo was deliciously pointless in its nihilistic violence.
Still, in the most recent Rambo he goes all hippy-dippy.

Oh, I forgot about him. The first Rambo was deliciously pointless in its nihilistic violence.
Still, in the most recent Rambo he goes all hippy-dippy.

I never saw the new rambo....is it worth the rental?

Oh, I forgot about him. The first Rambo was deliciously pointless in its nihilistic violence.
Still, in the most recent Rambo he goes all hippy-dippy.

I haven't seen the latest Rambo, and I don't plan to. I just try to remember him by the first one. Some things are best left remebered the way they were, not the way they are. Kinda like Guns N' Roses.

I didn't think the first one was entirely pointless, either. It was a good social commentary on the treatment of veterans of an unpopular war. It also featured David Caruso getting his ass kicked; this alone makes it a winner.

I never saw the new rambo....is it worth the rental?
Absolutely.

I haven't seen the latest Rambo, and I don't plan to. I just try to remember him by the first one. Some things are best left remebered the way they were, not the way they are. Kinda like Guns N' Roses.

I didn't think the first one was entirely pointless, either. It was a good social commentary on the treatment of veterans of an unpopular war. It also featured David Caruso getting his ass kicked; this alone makes it a winner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQI6a8BVPrY

Stallone deserved oscar for this....

Absolutely.

I am bumping it up on the netflix queue then..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQI6a8BVPrY

Stallone deserved oscar for this....

Maybe if the committee could've understood WTF he was saying, they would have nominated him. :D

Maybe if the committee could've understood WTF he was saying, they would have nominated him. :D

They should have at least given him best foreign film then...

I still think putting a Terminator on here is maybe just a little unfair.

Put it this way: McClane, Bond, etc are all mortal human men. Exceptionally tough, ruthless, and skilled perhaps, but at the end of the day simply men. The T-1000 is a shapeshifting robot with hands that turn into swords.

True, but in a fight to the death he needs some transporter, two-pistol action more than his comedic wit.
One-liners are more useful than body armor and combat ability, as any action hero knows.
I didn't think the first one was entirely pointless, either. It was a good social commentary on the treatment of veterans of an unpopular war. It also featured David Caruso getting his ass kicked; this alone makes it a winner.
Violence, murder, murder, cave-in scene, Stallone survives, gas station explodes, murder, scene in the Police Station, commentary, Stallone starts crying, credits, sequel, sequel again, sequel again again, sequel of the sequel of the, fuck it all who cares, people are dying? Pretty nihilistic to me.
I liked most of most of them, though. Don't get me wrong.

I still think putting a Terminator on here is maybe just a little unfair.

Put it this way: McClane, Bond, etc are all mortal human men. Exceptionally tough, ruthless, and skilled perhaps, but at the end of the day simply men. The T-1000 is a shapeshifting robot with hands that turn into swords.

If Sarah Connor can defeat the Terminator, then any other human being can too.

The shapeshifting robot is the T-1000 i believe.

*edit* I stand corrected I meant the terminator and not the t-1000. I will change the poll accordingly.

Violence, murder, murder, cave-in scene, Stallone survives, gas station explodes, murder, scene in the Police Station, commentary, Stallone starts crying, credits, sequel, sequel again, sequel again again, sequel of the sequel of the, fuck it all who cares, people are dying? Pretty nihilistic to me.
I liked most of most of them, though. Don't get me wrong.

I'm just saying it wasn't pointless. After all, they drew First Blood, Colonel, they drew First Blood. :p

If Sarah Connor can defeat the Terminator, then any other human being can too.

The shapeshifting robot is the T-1000 i believe.

*edit* I stand corrected I meant the terminator and not the t-1000. I will change the poll accordingly.

Fair enough. Though it took Connor and Reese to take the first one down, and that was with Reese filling in Connor on what she was facing, and being a soldier from a world used to dealing with Terminators. And it still almost won. If Reese hadn't been their, it would have blasted Connor in the face and that would have been that.

Its still better than throwing these guys in against the T-1000 though. Connor didn't beat that one.;)

I'm not saying they couldn't win against a Terminator. But unless they know what's coming after them they're probably screwed, and even if they do they're in for a hell of a time unless they can access heavy weapons. Connor had that vault full of guns. I don't remember some of the guys on your list ever packing anything beyond hand guns, and maybe a rifle or melee weapon, though I could be mistaken.

chuck norris
he would


A) spinkick them all in the face and send terminator and robocop crying to their futeristic mamas

B)talk rambo into killing himself thruogh post war syndrom

C) kick indiana jones in the nuts

Fair enough. Though it took Connor and Reese to take the first one down, and that was with Reese filling in Connor on what she was facing, and being a soldier from a world used to dealing with Terminators. And it still almost won. If Reese hadn't been their, it would have blasted Connor in the face and that would have been that.

Its still better than throwing these guys in against the T-1000 though. Connor didn't beat that one.;)



It would definitely be hard for even Chuck Norris to defeat the T-1000.


I'm not saying they couldn't win against a Terminator. But unless they know what's coming after them they're probably screwed, and even if they do they're in for a hell of a time unless they can access heavy weapons. Connor had that vault full of guns. I don't remember some of the guys on your list ever packing anything beyond hand guns, and maybe a rifle or melee weapon, though I could be mistaken.

And for that reason I added Robocop. :D

thats the liquid one right or is that the chick from the third?

either way chuck norris would either freez it with his zero degrees of tolerance of all machines not from texas or fry it with his red hot passion for killing robots

Chuck Norris couldn't even defeat his Total Gym..

thats the liquid one right or is that the chick from the third?

The T-1000 is the liquid metal Terminator.

The T-1000 is the liquid metal Terminator.

The chick from the third is what we like to call T-Douchenator

Bourne and the Terminator kill the others. Bourne then lures the Terminator on a chase that ends in an abandoned factory, where the Terminator falls into a pit of molten iron or something.

Then River Tam walks in and beats the crap out of him.

River wins.

You left out Batman, who would put an ass-whuppin' on everyone on that list.

Bourne for his intelligence combined with his skills and knowledge.

I'm another one who feels obliged to vote for Batman.

The Drunken Master.

7. Frank Martin
Better than Martin would be Chev Chelios (from Crank). This is the guy who was poisoned, but kept himself alive for an entire day through sheer, he-man bloody-mindedness. He only died at the end of the first one because he was thrown out a helicopter several hundred feet in the air.
And since they made a sequel, even falling all that distance and smashing into the pavement wasn't enough to kill him.

Rambo would win, hand down. Unless Indy hid in a fridge, which turns him invincible, so I don't know.

McClane, sans doubt. Any of the others fought on a plane wing? No. he fell off.

the Terminator fought with his spine broken, after surviving an exploding tanker, and he became teh Govenor of California.

Bourne and the Terminator kill the others. Bourne then lures the Terminator on a chase that ends in an abandoned factory, where the Terminator falls into a pit of molten iron or something.

Then River Tam walks in and beats the crap out of him.

River wins.

^this^

Sgt. B.A. Baracus.

He can throw helluva far.

yah know... after everythings said and done... as the last victor stands triumphant... you know he'ld get fragged by Ellen Ripley!

At first, I misread "John McClane" as "John McCain".

yah know... after everythings said and done... as the last victor stands triumphant... you know he'ld get fragged by Ellen Ripley!Only when they're infected with an Alien. If not, it'll be Mr. Rogers in a blood stained sweater.

And B.A. will throw him helluva far.

The Drunken Master.

Give me Pak Mei anyday

yah know... after everythings said and done... as the last victor stands triumphant... you know he'ld get fragged by Ellen Ripley!

Not River. Ellen Ripley is good, but not as good as River Tam. She can kill you with her brain.

Not River. Ellen Ripley is good, but not as good as River Tam. She can kill you with her brain.

ah, but Ripley is now half alien. and it's been implied that the aliens have some telepathic abilities. so it might end up with River fighting along side Ripley!

Not River. Ellen Ripley is good, but not as good as River Tam. She can kill you with her brain.
River Tam got pwned by Network executives. How lame can one get? Plus, she gets captured all the time.

Oh, well. It's all moot anyway.

See, the moment River Tam got involved, the boundaries between film and TV collapsed.

Cue Buffy Summers wasting EVERYONE.

Oh, well. It's all moot anyway.

See, the moment River Tam got involved, the boundaries between film and TV collapsed.

Cue Buffy Summers wasting EVERYONE.

ah, but River was in a movie.

and So was Buffy (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103893/).

just not the buffy you know. :p

So I SERIOUSLY doubt Buffy's ability to waste anyone... really. :D

ah, but River was in a movie.

and So was Buffy (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103893/).

just not the buffy you know. :p

So I SERIOUSLY doubt Buffy's ability to waste anyone... really. :D

No, I meant that River was also in a TV show, hence her involvement opens the gates for TV heroes to get involved.

At least we're restricting involvement to action heroes. The last thing we want is Dark Willow or Sylar to show up.

http://tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:RRihIYYB-buagM:http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/yippie-ki-yay.jpg

Definitely gonna have to go with John McClane on this one, Ive learned to stop doubting the Awesomeness of Bruce Willis, lol...

McClane most likely dies to Robocop, Batman, possibly the T-1000 depending on knowledge, prep time and weather he has heavy weapons, and maybe Bourne.

Better than Martin would be Chev Chelios (from Crank). This is the guy who was poisoned, but kept himself alive for an entire day through sheer, he-man bloody-mindedness. He only died at the end of the first one because he was thrown out a helicopter several hundred feet in the air. And since they made a sequel, even falling all that distance and smashing into the pavement wasn't enough to kill him.

They made a sequel? That's a movie I gotta see.

...So, nobody is going to complain about the misspelling in the title, I presume? :p

Diver. 12th best in the world in 1992.

This makes him the next Tarzan, though I don't feel like explaining why...

This makes him the next Tarzan, though I don't feel like explaining why...

Jonny Weissmuller, five-time Olympic diving gold medalist, also played Tarzan in, I think, twelve different B&W movies in the '30's and 40's. Man, I loved those movies. That's pure late late show goodness there.

What I want to know is, Where's Samuel L. Jackson on this list?

Mace Windu, Jules Winnfield? he could totally take these guys...

He'd be all, Where's my weapon? Its the one that says Bad Motherfucker on it!!!

What I want to know is, Where's Samuel L. Jackson on this list?As long as you take out Snakes On A Plane, we're alright.

Sgt. Blain from Predator.

He ain't got time to bleed.

As long as you take out Snakes On A Plane, we're alright.

Get that Motherfuckin Movie, off my Motherfuckin List! lol (I couldnt resist, lol)

Get that Motherfuckin Movie, off my Motherfuckin List! lol (I couldnt resist, lol)I know! That movie was terrible.

Almost like Seven Pounds. Dude, wtf?

Ace Hunter, bitch
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/video/stills/m/megaforce.flv.jpg
Deeds not Words!
http://i3.iofferphoto.com/img/1162540800/_i/15167585/1.jpg






I'll just...I'll just go...

The Sigourney Weaver character from the Alien movies - she kicked butt.
Sarah Connor

God, I can't believe you left out some of the tough bitches.