NationStates Jolt Archive

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

*feels left out*

*but was also loved the best*

*...by default* :/

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?
Yes, my dad likes my sister better because she's a bit more ruthless and good at science than me and my mum likes me better because I'm well-read. I can tell this just by their general demeaner, but then again I get on better with my dad now that I have to pay bills and stuff. Although I'm a bit pissed off that my sister's getting a private education for her A-Levels when I went to college, but there we go.

i dont know about my dad but my brother paul was my mother's favorite. he was the most personable and funny.

I may have been the favorite. But I also often got less attention, if that makes sense.

I definitely frustrated my parents less. And my mother prefers me to my brother now. I can tell because of how much she doesn't want him around - probably because he steals from her and is completely unappreciative of her help.

*feels left out*

*but was also loved the best*

*...by default* :/

I was an only child until I was 9 and then my mother married someone with grown children so I really don't understand the whole sibling thing at all.

I think my dad might barely love me a bit more, but only because he knows I am capable of doing what ever it is that I want to, and I don't need anyone to hold my hand. My siblings are still trying to find their place in life. When I was their age, I had already found my niche.

My brother and I always argued that the other was loved best/favored so --- no, I guess not.

Did your parents have a favorite? Yes, my little brother. How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?They told me that he was the favorite. Remained the same.

I have a younger sister; I'd say in our mother's eyes I was the favorite, at least until she got a dog. :rolleyes: I was less likely to rebel, and need approval more than my sister.

As for our father or stepfather, it's anyone's guess. I think Dad feels he understands my sister better. Our stepfather pretty clearly considered us both pains the ass.

Nah, I don't think so.

I was the middle child so it was rather easy to tell; the oldest child was the pride and joy of the family and her accomplishments were the standard to be measured against while the youngest got off easy because the parents were rather concerned about the middle child's progress as compared to that of the oldest. At least that's how it was when I was 13, self-centered and rather immature.

All my siblings and I have fucked up before and gotten that 'we're your parents and we love you but you just did something rather stupid and we're calling you on it' treatment. Right now it's my little brother's time to shine. But none of us got preferential treatment over the others.

Did your parents have a favorite?

Yes.

How could you tell?

They treated us differnet.

Did it change over the years or stay the same?

Yes, it actually reversed once we both came of age.

I had a little sister and a Half Brother....

I dont think they ever really showed a favorite....well, Until recently, but thats just because my Sister has a tendency to be a bitch on occasion, she's getting better though, lol...

I'm not really sure. There is of course on occasions that parents like children better, or have different opinions because of incidents, but overall they seem to like all.

But the question is, does Smunkee have a favourite?

How does a parent justify loving one child more than the other, btw?

How does a parent justify loving one child more than the other, btw?

Because one was a dick and wouldn't eat their vegetables and so, doesn't deserve love?*




*sarcasm if anybody didn't notice

How does a parent justify loving one child more than the other, btw?

It's probably not a conscious choice.

How does a parent justify loving one child more than the other, btw?
having a favorite doesnt mean that you love one more than the rest, it means that you LIKE one more than the rest.

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

I knew my brother was the favorite of the two of us. My parents never had any problem with him, he was the perfect child, and he now has the perfect life. Meanwhile I'm more or less the polar opposite.

I'm sure my parents loved us both, but I could tell he was the favorite by the way they treat him vs. me.

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

Me, my brother and my sister always guessed there was a favorite, we could never figure out who it was though. Just when you thought our mother was on board with just one of us, she would jump ship to another. Very confusing.

Me, my brother and my sister always guessed there was a favorite, we could never figure out who it was though. Just when you thought our mother was on board with just one of us, she would jump ship to another. Very confusing.

Flip Flopper! :P

What...I haven't heard anyone use it since 2004.

Flip Flopper! :P

What...I haven't heard anyone use it since 2004.

But recently my mother has became a devoted presbyterian...so we just say now that her new favorite son is jesus.

Flip Flopper! :P

What...I haven't heard anyone use it since 2004.

They always use it to describe politicians over here. Usually accompanied by the obligatory pair of jandals (flip-flops to you).

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?Yup. Me. Then the divorce, and it was my sisters.
For one of my parents it stayed the same. Actually, both, come to think of it.

My favourite child is whichever one isn't currently at home, doesn't want to borrow money from me and isn't learning to drive or having hissyfits over an assignment.

On a short-term basis, my favourite child is the one who has most recently washed up, cooked a meal or taken out the bin.

My father's favourite child was whichever one wasn't currently causing trouble, usually my brother. My mother's was whichever child was causing trouble she could fix, usually me.

My favourite child is whichever one isn't currently at home, doesn't want to borrow money from me and isn't learning to drive or having hissyfits over an assignment.

LOL that would explain my mothers favorite choice was changed so much.

Father likes my younger sister and me about equal I´d say,
but mother likes my sister more.
It has always been that way,
probably because I am like father and my sister like mother.
So when they split up,
I went with father and she stayed.

When father moved 50 miles away,
I had to move in with mother again.
Looking back it was not the best moment in my life exactly.

There's never been a favorite in my family...my parents love, respect, and like each of us equally for who we are. That said, there is a definite double standard. I am the son...my mom babies me, while my dad expects me to handle everything without help. The exact reverse is true for my sister.

After this year, I think that has changed alot...the year was hell on the entire family, and I think my parents came to realize that, while we handle the pain very differently, we are both heavily independent and neither needs to be babied.

How does a parent justify loving one child more than the other, btw?

What does justification or even logic have to do with anything?

I'd lose all respect for my parents if they even liked me. I don't even like myself, despite having every incentive. I was purchased after my parents' first-born died, by my dad, for my mother, in the same way you buy your kid a puppy when his or her old pet dies. A poor substitute. My parents' feelings toward me should be the definition of 'buyer's remorse' if they have any sense.

My sister and I are quite close in age (16 months) so my mom always tried her level best to treat the both of us equally. It didn't work out too well though. Since I was taller and stronger, I got to do all the chores that required more strength, but was rewarded the same as my sister who got the easier stuff, which I hated. On the other hand, since I was slightly older and less likely to get into trouble, I was allowed to stay out later and had a bit more freedom than my sister, which she hated.

Pretty much we both felt the other was getting away with murder and hated each other till we both started college, then we found out that, assuming we could go back to our own homes and not see each other for a while, we liked each other after all.

As for my step-father, I think he liked my sister a wee bit better. He never could understand me and my interests, but knew about raising intelligent, smart ass girls so he was a bit more comfortable with my sister as opposed to his step-son who was into sci-fi, anime, computers, and viewed cars as mere vehicles.

I'd say the favorite is my older brother. He did a lot of crappy stuff back in the day.Pointed at me,and I got the blame. I remember one time going to the store and buying myself a soda and he punched me in the face for not buying him anything (with MY money). I told my mom and she told me to shut up and give him the soda.

Nowadays,she just got done giving him 17 grand (to pay off a credit card),and when I asked for some to pay a bill..she threw a fit and told me I needed to learn to budget better.

Yeah..he's definitely the favorite there.

I think I'm probably my dad's favourite... because I was his "first little baby girl" when my parents thought they wouldn't be able to have kids. Really, though, I think it's just that my dad and I have so much in common, and he never thought he wanted to be a dad until I came along, then he fell in love with the job. There are four of us now, and my parents love us all... but my dad and I still have an extra-special bond.

And as for the people who ask how a parent can justify having a favourite, don't you have a favourite parent? In the smallest sense? I love and adore both my parents and can't imagine life without either one of them, but I am also very much my daddy's little girl, and in that way, he's my "favourite". Doesn't mean I don't love my mom more than I can say. It's just... I don't know, something.

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

Would, nay could, never have noticed.
Noticing things like that simply isn't in my brain wiring...

And since I don't have more than some anecdotal childhood memories (some of which may not even actually be mine), there's no way to analyze it now.

I don't think so. I think my mum considers me an intellectual equal, but I don't think that translates to her having favourites.

I have half-siblings. I didn't grow up with them, in fact, I didn't meet them until my father's funeral when I was 39 years old - my sister was 55 and my brother 50.

But I still got the feeling that my father would have sold me into white slavery in Japan if it would have made my brother straight.

I was my mother's only child, but I still wasn't her favorite - that was reserved for my cousins.

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

Yep, my mom adores my youngest brother, always did and still does.
She claims he's most like her. I don't think he is really, but he's sort of keeping up the act because it's easiest for him.

My sister has always been my dad's favourite, whereas I was my mum's favourite. But recently it seems to have switched so that they both like my sister more. Which I can understand I suppose.

I'm not sure the word 'favourite' is always the best way to describe it. A parent may socially get on better with one of their children, but this isn't an indication that they prefer that child over the other(s), and is dependent upon the child returning the socialisation. Favouritism would be blatant money spending, choosing group activities that the one likes best, and general behaviour towards one.

You could say myself and my twin were 'favouritised' as our parents probably spent more money on us, but this ignores that my parents were in a better financial situation during their third (and fourth) pregnancy than their first and second. Between us we were treated equally. Regarding pure social connection, I would say my dad's favourite is my elder sister, and my elder brother is neither parent's favourite, though, conversely, my brother lives much nearer (walking distance) to my parents than my sister (4 hour drive).


And a reversed question: children, which was your 'favourite' parent?

And a reversed question: children, which was your 'favourite' parent?

My mom. I still hate and despise my father, after not having seen him for decades.

My little sister is the absolute favourite as she is the baby of the family and then it generally alters between myself and my younger brother.

I'd lose all respect for my parents if they even liked me. I don't even like myself, despite having every incentive. I was purchased after my parents' first-born died, by my dad, for my mother, in the same way you buy your kid a puppy when his or her old pet dies. A poor substitute. My parents' feelings toward me should be the definition of 'buyer's remorse' if they have any sense.
That's pretty bad. How do you mean, "purchased"?

My two older sisters and I are from my mother's first marriage and my younger brother and two younger sisters are from my mother's second marriage.

My father died when my mother was pregnant with me and I was named after him. I think it is generally assumed by my siblings (and by myself) that she liked me the best as a child living at home. Sadly, I have probably been the most disappointing of her children so I'm not sure I'm still her favourite.

My stepfather hated me for obvious and not-so-obvious reasons. So, any special treatment from my mother meant hell for everyone.

My mom. I still hate and despise my father, after not having seen him for decades.

Consider yourself lucky. You met him.

Consider yourself lucky. You met him.

I'm not too sure... if I hadn't met him, I would have the option to pretend he would have been a kind and loving person.

I'm not too sure... if I hadn't met him, I would have the option to pretend he would have been a kind and loving person.

Actually, as a kid I often sought consolation by telling myself that he wasn't my real father.

I get emotional reading books or watching movies or documentaries about adopted people searching for their biological parents. I have the advantage over them in that I know who my father was and what he did. They have the advantage over me in that they still have the possibility of meeting their father.

Anyway, sorry about the crack. I can't possibly know the grief you have suffered.

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

I have a brother and, for the longest time, he was my father's favorite. With my mom, I'm her favorite. With time, my father stopped caring, but I'm still my mom's favorite on the sole fact that I always did what I was told until I graduated college and started living on my own.

I have a brother and, for the longest time, he was my father's favorite. With my mom, I'm her favorite. With time, my father stopped caring, but I'm still my mom's favorite on the sole fact that I always did what I was told until I graduated college and started living on my own.

Does she know about your second life as a total forum hotty?:tongue:

Does she know about your second life as a total forum hotty?:tongue:

Hehehe. Yeah, she does and has browsed here ocassionally when I come sign in on her house.

As horrible as it feels to admit it, I'm probably the favorite of the family. My little sister has screwed off enough in school to drive blood pressures through the roof. I think the last straw was when she decided to spend New Years in Houston with a couple of cousins, despite the fact that my dad gets to see her for perhaps a month per year due to his occupation.

She got into a four year college a few days ago, though! Divine intervention, perhaps, but maybe this will be the turning point for her! <3

Yeah, my parents prefer my younger brother. Not much I can do about it. *shrugs*

Yeah, my parents prefer my younger brother. Not much I can do about it. *shrugs*Well, there are things you can do about it.

They're just not very good ideas. :D

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

When we were in school my brother was the favorite. He always did well, and I couldn't be bothered. As adults I'm the favorite as I work for a living and he's a worthless mooch.

Consider yourself lucky. You met him.
Yeah, not always a great thing. I'm not sure who my father's favorite kid is, he's got seven or eight. I know I'm the youngest, but I've never met them all.

When i was young i got more attention (language problems) but was generally overshadowed in respect by my older sister who was and is bossy as hell, my other smarter sister and my younger sis...yeah middle child syndrome and all that and being the only brother in the family was shit. Really folks if you have kids make the split even, it's like being an only child except i got less stuff than i should have...
*is bitter*

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

Well I wouldn't call it faveritism, but my sister didn't get beat as much as her brothers did.

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?
No, they didn't. And they also made sure that both their kids were instilled with a sense of fairness and sharing. Whenever my sister or I got something, we made sure that we both received equal. It's like that to this day.

Why do you ask?

Did your parents have a favorite? How could you tell? Did it change over the years or stay the same?

I used to be the favorite, cause I was a quiet kid and I gave less trouble. Now things changed, cause my brother gets better grades and I have a more abrasive personality.

And I still haven't been forgiven for pulling straight Cs one year in MIDDLE SCHOOL (Middle school grades matter even less than high school grades!) You can tell I have a lot of issues with my parents, can't you?

And a reversed question: children, which was your 'favourite' parent?
Probably my mum, but I get on a lot better with my dad after living away from home for some months than I used to.

And a reversed question: children, which was your 'favourite' parent?

My mom.

I've never really thought about it. I have three siblings, and even though we can on occasion be treated differently, I think they like us equally much. I agree with the previous poster saying how in the world you would justify liking one of your children more than the other. I was definitely the one who has been beaten up the most though (by my brother, not my parents).

I obviously like both my father and mother equally much, but even though I prefer not to speak to them at all, there are some things I rather speak to my mother about. We usually just discuss the weather or football, which we all prefer.

I'm not sure the word 'favourite' is always the best way to describe it. A parent may socially get on better with one of their children, but this isn't an indication that they prefer that child over the other(s), and is dependent upon the child returning the socialisation. Favouritism would be blatant money spending, choosing group activities that the one likes best, and general behaviour towards one.

You could say myself and my twin were 'favouritised' as our parents probably spent more money on us, but this ignores that my parents were in a better financial situation during their third (and fourth) pregnancy than their first and second. Between us we were treated equally. Regarding pure social connection, I would say my dad's favourite is my elder sister, and my elder brother is neither parent's favourite, though, conversely, my brother lives much nearer (walking distance) to my parents than my sister (4 hour drive).

Agreed. Very good points there.

And a reversed question: children, which was your 'favourite' parent?

Both. My dad is my dad, he taught me how to work on cars and stand up for myself, the kind of stuff dads do. It also helps we get along really well and tend to torture my mom with a twisted sense of humor. But then my mom is my mom, she cooks awesome food and is great person to talk too about getting life in order.

And a reversed question: children, which was your 'favourite' parent?

Father.