NationStates Jolt Archive

Sitting in school (because I am in school at the moment) I found my mind wandering (well, it is school) and what I found myself thinking abo9ut was the king of all comedy; Monty Python.
Yes, Monty Python, Then I found myself thinking: What would life be like if it was a Monty Python Sketch (Aside from the fact that the BBC Would rule the world—which it already does
Well, Britain anyway. Don't be fooled, The PM does not run the country. The BBC does!)

So what would the world be like if life was a Monty Python sketch?

Well, aside from being a lot sillier, there would probably be a break down in society uncaused by inefficient legal systems, the ministry of silly walks being over-funded, and drastic increase in chartered accountants.

Men would dress as middle aged housewives. The Spanish inquisition could burst into your house and subject you to tortures such as “The soft pillows” and you may be forced to give live organ donations.

The army would focus more on stopping people being too silly and making sure their slogans are not abused than on actual defence and the BBC will randomly conscript you into their TV shows and Milkmen will be psychiatrists.

On the other hand, crime would rise but become inefficient, what crime there is would be made up of gangs of old ladies, inefficient mafia and bank robbers gong into lingerie shops. people will have slightly more freedoms as no-one seems to take anything very seriously.

I had asked a few people what they think life would be like if it was like a Monty Python sketch and these are the replies:

“Well, I think it would be good, it’s quite sarcastic really”

“It would be mad wouldn’t it?”

And more.

But what exactly am I getting at, what is the point in all this? Well boredom relief mainly, but also this:

What do you think life would be like as a Monty Python sketch?

Response?

You'd be a bit buggered if you didn't like Monty Python that much.

*hides lumberjack shirt*

People would keep quoting real life at me, and I'd have to scream things like, "Oh my god, go away! Why won't you go away!?" a lot more often.

Hes a luber jack and hes ok, he sleeps all night and he works all day.
He cuts down trees he wears high heels supenders and a bra, he puts on womens clothing and hangs around in bars...

Well, now that is out the way, yes. If you don't like monty python a giant weight would fall on your head. Oh and a knight would hit you over the head with a rubber chicken

Mods would have really big feet.

Well, now that is out the way, yes. If you don't like monty python a giant weight would fall on your head. Oh and a knight would hit you over the head with a rubber chicken
I like Monty Python as done by Monty Python, not by the nerds I knew in High School.
This comic expresses my viewpoint pretty well (http://xkcd.com/16/).

What do you think life would be like as a Monty Python sketch?

Response?

Rabbits would be considered extremely dangerous animals and small, hand carried explosive devices with timed fuses would be considered holy relics.

Hes a luber jack and hes ok, he sleeps all night and he works all day.
He cuts down trees he wears high heels supenders and a bra, he puts on womens clothing and hangs around in bars...

Well, now that is out the way, yes. If you don't like monty python a giant weight would fall on your head. Oh and a knight would hit you over the head with a rubber chicken

http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/python.gif

http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/python.gif

*steps on LG*

*steps on LG*

*squeaks*

Everyone would expect The Spanish Inquisition. *nod*

Everyone would expect The Spanish Inquisition. *nod*

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Even more spam! :o

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Oh dear....

Oh dear....

You very obviously misquoted, as I said "Nobody" rather than "No one". I pity you, silly little child.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

No no no. Because if life was a Monty Python sketch, then people would indeed expect the Spanish Inquisition.:tongue:

There would be a waiting period and a background check before you were allowed to purchase fruit.

Cheese shops would be empty.

Penguins would randomly explode.

The albatross would learn to fear game day.

Finally, receiving a box of chocolates would quickly lose some of its appeal.

Number 1, the larch. The larch.

Oh and don't forget pet shop owners - bane of the land, the miser of all commerical establishments, needing to be squeezed for any refund or replacement. Never mind the Spanish Inquisition here cometh ze seely accaunted Freanch army. Zay wood be a larf!

Any pet you wanted would be readily available-in an hour or so

So what would the world be like if life was a Monty Python sketch?


Wait. You mean that OUR lives aren't a Monty sketch already?

What do you think life would be like as a Monty Python sketch?

"Something Completely Different".

You mean life isn't a Monty Python sketch? :eek:

You mean life isn't a Monty Python sketch? :eek:

Apparently so.:eek2:

Apparently so.:eek2:

No way. Just yesterday someone knocked at my door and asked if I had signed for organ donation. I saw The Meaning Of Life. I told them to get the fuck off my door.

I DO expect the Spanish Organ Donation Collectors!

If real life was like a Monty Python sketch, then Jesus would indeed be a very naughty boy.
:P

There would be abuse clinics, and I would apply for the job.

No way. Just yesterday someone knocked at my door and asked if I had signed for organ donation. I saw The Meaning Of Life. I told them to get the fuck off my door.

I DO expect the Spanish Organ Donation Collectors!

:D
That just made me laugh.

There would be abuse clinics, and I would apply for the job.

Oh my, the Argument Room - what a classic!.. "This isn't an argument!"... "Oh yes it is!"
;)

Oh my, the Argument Room - what a classic!.. "This isn't an argument!"... "Oh yes it is!"
;)

No it isn't! It's just contradiction!

No it isn't!

See you just contradicted me!

No I didn't!

1. When making a complaint in a store concering the quality of a product one needs to be eloquent.
2. One does not use Hungarian dictionaries.
3. Spamming is fine if you are dressed like a viking.
4. Horses will be replaced by coconuts.
5. One needs to answer 3 questions to be allowed to cross a bridge.
6. The Soviet Union would be run by Dennis.
7. Very rich fat people would not be allowed in restaurants
8. The Olympics would be far more interesting ;)

1. When making a complaint in a store concering the quality of a product one needs to be eloquent.
2. One does not use Hungarian dictionaries.
3. Spamming is fine if you are dressed like a viking.
4. Horses will be replaced by coconuts.
5. One needs to answer 3 questions to be allowed to cross a bridge.
6. The Soviet Union would be run by Dennis.
7. Very rich fat people would not be allowed in restaurants
8. The Olympics would be far more interesting ;)

9. Mounties would be disgusted with our all-important lumber harvesting industry.
10. The Spanish Inquisition will replace the rack with pillows.

9. Mounties would be disgusted with our all-important lumber harvesting industry.
10. The Spanish Inquisition will replace the rack with pillows.

OMG your sig has a link to Monty Python!

if life were monty python i wouldnt be typing this because my arms would have fallen off.

I think it would be a bit sillier, but it might get dangerous from time to time. It would be expected for people to breach the rules of discourse, and places that didn't would get more customers because of it. Besides, wars would become less serious as certain weapons would change the way they are waged...



































...oh, screw this.

I never wanted to be here, prattling on and on about strange what-if scenarios in an Internet forum!

I always wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK! LEAPING FROM TREE TO TREE AS THEY FLOAT DOWN THE MIGHTY RIVERS OF BRITISH COLUMBIA! THE LARCH! THE FERN! THE MIGHTY SCOTS-PINE! WITH MY BEST BELOVED BY ME SIDE! WE'D SING! SING! SING!

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?
Suspendies...and a bra?

...He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

...He's/I'm a lumberjack and he's/I'm OK
He/I sleep all night and he/I work all day.

*Exits.*

...oh, screw this.

I never wanted to be here, prattling on and on about strange what-if scenarios in an Internet forum!

I always wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK! LEAPING FROM TREE TO TREE AS THEY FLOAT DOWN THE MIGHTY RIVERS OF BRITISH COLUMBIA! THE LARCH! THE FERN! THE MIGHTY SCOTS-PINE! WITH MY BEST BELOVED BY ME SIDE! WE'D SING! SING! SING!

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?
Suspendies...and a bra?

...He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

...He's/I'm a lumberjack and he's/I'm OK
He/I sleep all night and he/I work all day.

*Exits.*

Dear Sir,
I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the song which you have just broadcast, about the lumberjack who wears women's clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks and only a few of them are transvestites.
Yours faithfully,
Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.)
PS I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times.

You mean life isn't a Monty Python sketch? :eek:

It is. These folks here have largely been desensitized silliness and absurdity.

No no no. Because if life was a Monty Python sketch, then people would indeed expect the Spanish Inquisition.:tongue:

and everytime they came in, they would step on someone's toes!

and everytime they came in, they would step on someone's toes!

Amen to that.:D

if life were monty python i wouldnt be typing this because my arms would have fallen off.

and everyone in Australia would be named Bruce
Women wouldn't have that many speaking parts
Mrs Pepperpot would be the norm.


and the world would be saved by Bicycle Repairman!

And of course, there would be no shortage of organ donors.

10. The Spanish Inquisition will replace the rack with pillows.

no, Whips would be replaced by the soft cushions and the Rack would be replaced by...

:eek:
*The COMPFY CHAIR!*
[Dramatic music]
:eek:

NO, Not the comfy chair!

Anyway, hospitals will make their patients do hard labour and vigorous exercise (especially the very ill/seriously injured ones)

One thing I would do if Life was a Monty Python Sketch...

make "Sit on my Face" my national anthem!

no, Whips would be replaced by the soft cushions and the Rack would be replaced by...

:eek:
*The COMPFY CHAIR!*
[Dramatic music]
:eek:

That also makes you wonder to which type of "racks" is he/she referring to.:tongue:

I'm guessing these have already been covered, but...

1. For no apparent reason, the world would randomly shift to a 2-D cartoon every now and then.
2. One could be taunted by one's foe even after lopping off his limbs and head
3. We'd know exactly what the Romans have done for us
4. Rabbits would be a bit scarier
5. Spam!
6. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
7. Lumberjacks would have a slightly different reputation
8. LG would rule the world

I like Monty Python as done by Monty Python, not by the nerds I knew in High School.
This comic expresses my viewpoint pretty well (http://xkcd.com/16/).

It does? So your viewpoint is that remembering good comedy is best done by drawing a pretentious cartoon that was neither silly nor surreal? How...droll?

8. LG would rule the world

I dispute this. Monthy Python would rule the world. With an iron feather. LG would be one of his minions.

1. All mints would be wah-fer thin.
2. All blocks of flats would have abattoirs instead of lobbies.
3. You could tell where any dead bishop was from by consulting the tattoo on the back of their neck.
4. You wouldn't dare cross Lemming of the B.D.A.
5. You'd be able to dispose of dead relatives in interesting ways.
6. Your tomatoes would be harbingers of collisions.
7. You'd have to wash your glove after hitting "rewind" on certain tape recorders.
8. You'd be glad you didn't mention the dirty knife.
9. Every mattress salesman would have a bag over his head.
10. You'd be careful around anyone named Mrs. ******-Baiter.

I dispute this. Monthy Python would rule the world. With an iron feather. LG would be one of his minions.

No, that'd be exactly what LG would WANT you to think

My sperm is sacred :(

No no no. Because if life was a Monty Python sketch, then people would indeed expect the Spanish Inquisition.:tongue:

I am sorry Dear but you are wrong. In Monty Python sketches, nobody expects the Inquisition.

I bet you weren't expecting the inquisition.

Would be bad news for Germans when the Funniest joke is read out to them :(

Another great Viking victory, was at the Green Midget Cafe in Bromley (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE)

You people have no idea how long I have waited to put this on a forum.

If the world were a Monty Python skit I would be a Lion Tamer (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XMOmB1q8W4Y)

The only thing I fear about life as a monty python sketch, is being in an Upper class moron of the year contest. Worst of all, I fear winning one.

The only thing I fear about life as a monty python sketch, is being in an Upper class moron of the year contest. Worst of all, I fear winning one.

That's the Upper Class Twit of the year ;), and if you are smart enough to use a computer I don't think you come anywhere near qualifying for the competition.

That's the Upper Class Twit of the year ;), and if you are smart enough to use a computer I don't think you come anywhere near qualifying for the competition.

Been awhile since I seen the skit. :(

Anyways, it seems I have nothing too fear short of a random thing crushing me to death.

The existence of God wouldn't really be questioned any more.

The existence of God wouldn't really be questioned any more.

Certainly not.

I am sorry Dear but you are wrong. In Monty Python sketches, nobody expects the Inquisition.

I bet you weren't expecting the inquisition.

But I do expect it. I am it!:eek:

But I do expect it. I am it!:eek:

And you can Inquisite me any day.

And you can Inquisite me any day.

Then drop down, I'm going to question you!
http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f353/coffee99bean/emotes/purple-whip-smiley.gif

And you can Inquisite me any day.

That's the old Monty Python Inquisition. The new Monty Python Inquisition just makes you watch things like this (http://vimeo.com/2809991)

*consults translation book*
I would like you to rub my bum.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/funny-pictures-this-cat-has-a-crazy-walk.jpg

*consults translation book*
I would like you to rub my bum.

Oh yes, past the post office, 200 yards down, and then left at the light.

It does? So your viewpoint is that remembering good comedy is best done by drawing a pretentious cartoon that was neither silly nor surreal? How...droll?
Oddly enough, I don't find the joke funny either, but the second box ("Does anyone else find it funny that decades later, people are still quoting . . . a group loved for their mastery of shock, the unexpected and defiance of convention?"), rings true for me. Taken on it's own, it is a clever observation of society; the anecdote in the mouseover text (about 10 minutes of out of context Monty Python quoting substituting conversation) provides an effective justification for the comment.
It also would have been a much better way to stage a gag that would have made his point. Unfortunately, as you pointed out, we have Randall Munroe at the helm. So an interesting premise is buried under stick figures, a lame attempt at non sequitur, and a non-punchline.

Well, I'd probably have to form the Ministry of Normal Walks.

I would have a lot of fun when I conduct interviews.

Apartment blocks would by built with hypnosis and motor-ways by characters from paradise Lost

My sperm is sacred :(Every sperm is sacred.

But I do expect it. I am it!:eek:
but the last person you'll expect would be yourself! :eek:

but the last person you'll expect would be yourself! :eek:

Not really. I have a very twisted sense of self so I would, indeed, expect my own self.:D

This is what your work would be:
Wake up 11:30 pm
Eat cold poison
Work 27 hours a day at mill AND pay tax
Dad kills you and dances about on your grave.

Yes, a bit bad.

This is what your work would be:
Wake up 11:30 pm
Eat cold poison
Work 27 hours a day at mill AND pay tax
Dad kills you and dances about on your grave.

Yes, a bit bad.

Luxury.

Oddly enough, I don't find the joke funny either, but the second box ("Does anyone else find it funny that decades later, people are still quoting . . . a group loved for their mastery of shock, the unexpected and defiance of convention?"), rings true for me. Taken on it's own, it is a clever observation of society; the anecdote in the mouseover text (about 10 minutes of out of context Monty Python quoting substituting conversation) provides an effective justification for the comment.
It also would have been a much better way to stage a gag that would have made his point. Unfortunately, as you pointed out, we have Randall Munroe at the helm. So an interesting premise is buried under stick figures, a lame attempt at non sequitur, and a non-punchline.

Fair enough.











PRAWN SALAD, Ltd.

Yorkshire would still be the third world.

And of course spam, spam, spam.

And being Australian my name would be Bruce.