NationStates Jolt Archive


140 Year Old Lobster Recieves Pardon from Death Row

SaintB
10-01-2009, 13:20
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28589278/

George, the 20 pound (about 10kg) lobster who is estimated to be 140 years old was freed from captivity by "City Crab and Seafood" in New York; and will be free to live out the rest of his natural life in the Atlantic Ocean in a no trapping zone.

Doesn't it just warm your hearts?
SaintB
10-01-2009, 14:31
I know this is a hard case to crack, but with a little discussion we can get to the meat of what might be a stimulating debate.
No Names Left Damn It
10-01-2009, 14:38
Look at the size of his claws!
Tagmatium
10-01-2009, 15:39
I know this is a hard case to crack, but with a little discussion we can get to the meat of what might be a stimulating debate.
Gah, the puns!

I hope this doesn't lead to repeat of that pun-tacular "bloke sets his arm on fire to impress girlfriend" thread...

That made me sad.
Lunatic Goofballs
10-01-2009, 15:48
I wonder how the young and lively lobsters with long lives ahead of them feel about that. :tongue:
Katganistan
10-01-2009, 15:49
That big a lobster would be tough as leather anyhow -- may as well let him go.
Or send him to an aquarium...
Kryozerkia
10-01-2009, 15:53
What gets me is that if it was released back into the wild, it should have been sent back to whence he came. PETA is irresponsible by not having it released back in the area it was from.
Tagmatium
10-01-2009, 15:55
What gets me is that if it was released back into the wild, it should have been sent back to whence he came. PETA is irresponsible by not having it released back in the area it was from.
PETA are a bunch of dicks.
Katganistan
10-01-2009, 15:57
^ ^
This.
Lunatic Goofballs
10-01-2009, 15:58
What gets me is that if it was released back into the wild, it should have been sent back to whence he came. PETA is irresponsible by not having it released back in the area it was from.

Peta doesn't give a shit about animals.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
10-01-2009, 16:03
What gets me is that if it was released back into the wild, it should have been sent back to whence he came. PETA is irresponsible by not having it released back in the area it was from.
Canada, Maine, what's the difference?
Anyway, it would be pretty pointless to put him back in a trapping area, where the dumb thing would just get caught again.
Lunatic Goofballs
10-01-2009, 16:06
Canada, Maine, what's the difference?
Anyway, it would be pretty pointless to put him back in a trapping area, where the dumb thing would just get caught again.

It lasted 140 years without getting trapped the first time. I'd say it was either a fluke, it's getting old and senile or it wanted to be trapped. Maybe it consumed a bunch of mercury and was trying to poison a party of rich asshat New Yorkers. It's in Maine seawater right now going, "Fuck! Fuckin' PETA!"
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
10-01-2009, 16:18
It lasted 140 years without getting trapped the first time. I'd say it was either a fluke, it's getting old and senile or it wanted to be trapped. Maybe it consumed a bunch of mercury and was trying to poison a party of rich asshat New Yorkers. It's in Maine seawater right now going, "Fuck! Fuckin' PETA!"
That's what you think, but I know these lobsters. When you see one of them behind glass at that age, you can tell he's been in and out of the system for decades. Maybe he's been living under an assumed name, or maybe his record was sealed, but you can trust me, that ugly bastard has done time before.
Kryozerkia
10-01-2009, 16:26
It lasted 140 years without getting trapped the first time. I'd say it was either a fluke, it's getting old and senile or it wanted to be trapped. Maybe it consumed a bunch of mercury and was trying to poison a party of rich asshat New Yorkers. It's in Maine seawater right now going, "Fuck! Fuckin' PETA!"

And as usual, LG sums it up best. :D
German Nightmare
10-01-2009, 16:30
http://koew.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/zoidberg_christ.gif

WWZD?
Lunatic Goofballs
10-01-2009, 16:32
That's what you think, but I know these lobsters. When you see one of them behind glass at that age, you can tell he's been in and out of the system for decades. Maybe he's been living under an assumed name, or maybe his record was sealed, but you can trust me, that ugly bastard has done time before.

He's the Frank Morris of lobsters! :eek:
CthulhuFhtagn
10-01-2009, 16:34
Canada, Maine, what's the difference?
Anyway, it would be pretty pointless to put him back in a trapping area, where the dumb thing would just get caught again.

Maybe... that's what it wants.

On a related note I'd watch the shit out of a movie involving an armed lobster shooting people.
Lunatic Goofballs
10-01-2009, 16:36
Maybe... that's what it wants.

On a related note I'd watch the shit out of a movie involving an armed lobster shooting people.

Maybe a lobster that kills, boils and eats humans, but just the hands and asses. *nod*
JuNii
10-01-2009, 19:04
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28589278/

George, the 20 pound (about 10kg) lobster who is estimated to be 140 years old was freed from captivity by "City Crab and Seafood" in New York; and will be free to live out the rest of his natural life in the Atlantic Ocean in a no trapping zone.

Doesn't it just warm your hearts?

er... no, it doesn't warm my heart. why?

Resturant 'tanks' don't care about the longevity of their seafood. only that they are alive. many crustaceans kept in those conditions are actually worse off, sporting internal injuries that most often times are fatal, they are starved, kept in water that, in most cases, are dangerous in both Acidity as well as batcerialogical, in overcrowded conditions and let's not forget any injuries sustained during capture and transport.

I don't give this guy alot of chances surviving in the wild.
JuNii
10-01-2009, 19:15
Maybe... that's what it wants.

On a related note I'd watch the shit out of a movie involving an armed lobster shooting people.

been done. Muppet Show. the Lobster that was rescued by his gun toting compadres.
Luna Amore
10-01-2009, 19:39
PETA and the restaurant guessed George's age at about 140, using a rule of thumb based on the creature's weight.Does anyone else doubt that this lobster is really 140 years old?
Celtlund II
10-01-2009, 19:49
Probably not a bad idea as the meat might be a little tough. However, this has been done before and the lobster did not survive. It would have warmed my heart even more if the chef had made lobster thermador http://recipegal.com/seafood/Lobster-Thermador.htm and invited me to eat a double portion for free. :)
Celtlund II
10-01-2009, 19:51
PETA are a bunch of dicks.

I'm a member of PETA.
Prefer Eating The Animals. :D
Celtlund II
10-01-2009, 19:58
Maybe a lobster that kills, boils and eats humans, but just the hands and asses. *nod*

They would if they could.

Lobstermen scoff at the notion that lobsters deserve pity. The common American lobster, known to scientists as the Homarus Americanus, is a cannibal that they say pulls the legs off of crabs before devouring them.

"Rest assured, if the shoe was on the other foot, Mr. Lobster wouldn't hesitate to dine on your pancreas," said Greg Griffin, a 42-year-old Cape Elizabeth, Me., lobsterman who started trapping when he was 10 years old. "If you could see the lobster on the ocean floor, it would make a beautiful star in a horror movie."

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C0DE4D71239F932A05751C1A963958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=2
Ancient and Holy Terra
10-01-2009, 20:24
I wrote a story about my roommate's Crayfish and its attempts to murder us.

We were saved by the intervention of the FDA's Special Operations Division and Captain Sig Hansen. :D
greed and death
10-01-2009, 20:26
stupid Peta stunt.
King Zhaoxiang of Qin
10-01-2009, 20:33
I bet 5 minutes after they released it it got eaten by an octopus.
Christmahanikwanzikah
10-01-2009, 20:36
It would taste awful, anyway.
JuNii
10-01-2009, 20:57
I wrote a story about my roommate's Crayfish and its attempts to murder us.

We were saved by the intervention of the FDA's Special Operations Division and Captain Sig Hansen. :D

can I read that?
CthulhuFhtagn
10-01-2009, 21:02
I bet 5 minutes after they released it it got eaten by an octopus.

Which would be pretty damn shocking, what with octopodes not being big on eating lobsters, at least full-grown ones.
JuNii
10-01-2009, 21:04
Which would be pretty damn shocking, what with octopodes not being big on eating lobsters, at least full-grown ones.

unless the lobster was in no condition to adequetly defend itself.
The Scandinvans
10-01-2009, 21:23
Which would be pretty damn shocking, what with octopodes not being big on eating lobsters, at least full-grown ones.It was more likely consumed by a chicken of the sea.
Ifreann
10-01-2009, 21:40
Maybe a lobster that kills, boils and eats humans, but just the hands and asses. *nod*
The asses are the best bits.
er... no, it doesn't warm my heart. why?

Resturant 'tanks' don't care about the longevity of their seafood. only that they are alive. many crustaceans kept in those conditions are actually worse off, sporting internal injuries that most often times are fatal, they are starved, kept in water that, in most cases, are dangerous in both Acidity as well as batcerialogical, in overcrowded conditions and let's not forget any injuries sustained during capture and transport.

I don't give this guy alot of chances surviving in the wild.
Hey, he managed for 140 years. At least, according to PETA..........
I wrote a story about my roommate's Crayfish and its attempts to murder us.

We were saved by the intervention of the FDA's Special Operations Division and Captain Sig Hansen. :D
Damned homicidal crustaceans.
stupid Peta stunt.
Quite
I bet 5 minutes after they released it it got eaten by an octopus.

It would taste awful, anyway.

Poor octopus.
JuNii
10-01-2009, 21:45
Hey, he managed for 140 years. At least, according to PETA..........

that's 140 years out in the ocean. but 10 days in a resturant's tank can do alot of damage.
King Zhaoxiang of Qin
10-01-2009, 21:46
It was more likely consumed by a chicken of the sea.

Tunas eat lobsters?

Wow.

Did not know that.
CthulhuFhtagn
10-01-2009, 21:47
Tunas eat lobsters?

Wow.

Did not know that.

Tuna are about twelve feet long. They'll eat anything.
Ifreann
10-01-2009, 21:50
Tuna are about twelve feet long. They'll eat anything.

"Don't fool yourself Timmy, if a co...tuna got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you love"
Ferrous Oxide
10-01-2009, 21:59
Tuna are about twelve feet long. They'll eat anything.

Ahh, tuna. They're one of those animals that represents intense, unrelenting stupidity. Along with the dodo, the sloth and the human.
Ifreann
10-01-2009, 22:00
Whats so stupid about tuna?
JuNii
10-01-2009, 22:00
Ahh, tuna. They're one of those animals that represents intense, unrelenting stupidity. Along with the dodo, the sloth and the human.

like a lobster?

They'll eat almost anything.
Ferrous Oxide
10-01-2009, 22:12
Whats so stupid about tuna?

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2006/07/16/world/16tuna_600x306.jpg

I dare you to not laugh.
JuNii
10-01-2009, 22:14
Not Laughing.
*thinks about all that sashimi*
Drooling yes, laughing no.
Ferrous Oxide
10-01-2009, 22:15
Come on! They're the Beakers of the sea!

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2006/07/16/world/16tuna_600x306.jpg
http://thetimetube.com/wp-content/uploads/Ugliest%20People/lyle_beaker.gif
Ifreann
10-01-2009, 22:17
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2006/07/16/world/16tuna_600x306.jpg

I dare you to not laugh.

They don't look terribly funny. Hammerhead sharks, now they're funny.
JuNii
10-01-2009, 22:23
Come on! They're the Beakers of the sea!

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2006/07/16/world/16tuna_600x306.jpg
http://thetimetube.com/wp-content/uploads/Ugliest%20People/lyle_beaker.gif

realise that it's Beaker who does all the experimentations under the direct guidence of Dr Bunson Honeydew. so it's not Beaker who's stupid, but Dr Honeydew.

and the fact that Tuna schools are being depleated at an alarming rate...

Still... sashimi... *drools*
JuNii
10-01-2009, 22:26
They don't look terribly funny. Hammerhead sharks, now they're funny.

these guys are also funny.
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/animals/images/primary/anglerfish.jpg

http://www.dpi.nsw.gov.au/__data/assets/image/0012/164001/flounder.jpg
Ifreann
10-01-2009, 22:37
Coelecanths also amuse me. Lulz, lern2evolve, nubs.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
10-01-2009, 22:59
Coelecanths also amuse me. Lulz, lern2evolve, nubs.
Evolution is all a big scam. What did we need spines and lungs for anyway? I know I'd be happier if I had an excuse to lay around in the bathtub all day.
Celtlund II
10-01-2009, 23:46
that's 140 years out in the ocean. but 10 days in a resturant's tank can do alot of damage.

That's why he should be eaten instead of returned to the wild where he will die because of the trama. No sense in wasting good food.

http://www.jorbanco.com/lobster.jpg
The Emmerian Unions
10-01-2009, 23:59
Gah! I seriously hate PETA! I wish that the UN would BAN them form the universe.
JuNii
11-01-2009, 00:03
That's why he should be eaten instead of returned to the wild where he will die because of the trama. No sense in wasting good food.

http://www.jorbanco.com/lobster.jpg

The trauma isn't soo bad. as long as therapy is given. say time spent in a properly maintained tank with Good nutritious meals for a couple of days then shipped out into the ocean.

the problem is the physical damage done when caught, shipped and while in the tank. :(
The Emmerian Unions
11-01-2009, 00:16
I'm going to find a PETA convention, take a cow, shotgun, katana, a Samurai-type person, a barbeque grill, some charcoal, and have myself a VERY nice steak from the cow!
Celtlund II
11-01-2009, 00:26
the problem is the physical damage done when caught, shipped and while in the tank. :(

A large pot of boiling water can solve that problem. :D
Lunatic Goofballs
11-01-2009, 00:30
I'm going to find a PETA convention, take a cow, shotgun, katana, a Samurai-type person, a barbeque grill, some charcoal, and have myself a VERY nice steak from the cow!

Bring Soylent Green. Offer them some. :)
JuNii
11-01-2009, 00:43
A large pot of boiling water can solve that problem. :D

hence why I Kinda agree with 'it just should've been eaten' suggestion.
Lunatic Goofballs
11-01-2009, 00:58
I think lobster and most meats would be a lot more appetizing and interesting if they were lethally toxic unless prepared with skilled precision, like fugu.

Wouldn't that cheeseburger taste a lot better if you knew that your life rested in the hands of the seventeen year old zit-factory behind the McDonald's counter that prepared it? :D
CthulhuFhtagn
11-01-2009, 02:06
Coelecanths also amuse me. Lulz, lern2evolve, nubs.

Seriouspost: The surviving coelocanth has actually evolved drastically. Popular conception is that it's remained unchanged, but it hasn't.
The Scandinvans
11-01-2009, 02:17
Tuna are about twelve feet long. They'll eat anything.Even this guy, gal, selfish looking thing?

http://ambassador.rit.edu/bca/images/stories/blogs/sja8657/super_lobster.jpg
Boonytopia
11-01-2009, 07:17
Look at the size of his claws!

Impressive!
SaintB
11-01-2009, 11:55
er... no, it doesn't warm my heart. why?

Dude, sarcasm :)
Blouman Empire
11-01-2009, 12:04
What gets me is that if it was released back into the wild, it should have been sent back to whence he came. PETA is irresponsible by not having it released back in the area it was from.

Well that is PETA for you.

It lasted 140 years without getting trapped the first time. I'd say it was either a fluke, it's getting old and senile or it wanted to be trapped. Maybe it consumed a bunch of mercury and was trying to poison a party of rich asshat New Yorkers. It's in Maine seawater right now going, "Fuck! Fuckin' PETA!"

I lol'ed
Celtlund II
11-01-2009, 20:09
Wouldn't that cheeseburger taste a lot better if you knew that your life rested in the hands of the seventeen year old zit-factory behind the McDonald's counter that prepared it? :D

Like the one who spits on every hamburger he makes? :eek:
Ifreann
11-01-2009, 21:22
Like the one who spits on every hamburger he makes? :eek:

He has to, otherwise you'll die!
Call to power
11-01-2009, 21:49
talk about old meat!

Wouldn't that cheeseburger taste a lot better if you knew that your life rested in the hands of the seventeen year old zit-factory behind the McDonald's counter that prepared it? :D

actually you will find that you do :eek2:
Gauthier
12-01-2009, 01:31
Well that is PETA for you.

PETA is the activist version of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders. They'll talk the talk and condemn others for not living up to "ethical standards" and behavior that most often, they themselves will completely ignore at leisure.

They've gassed cats and dogs they take out of animal shelters under the lie of finding them a home, and keep their corpses in walk-in freezers to use for propaganda later on.

Their chairthing Ingrid Newkirk makes plenty of remarks like calling the slaughter of chickens for food "Worse Than The Holocaust" I kid you not, and she's made it clear she opposes using animals for medical purposes. Even though she's a diabetic who uses bovine-based insulin to keep her sorry ass alive.
Knights of Liberty
12-01-2009, 01:38
PETA is the activist version of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders. They'll talk the talk and condemn others for not living up to "ethical standards" and behavior that most often, they themselves will completely ignore at leisure.

They've gassed cats and dogs they take out of animal shelters under the lie of finding them a home, and keep their corpses in walk-in freezers to use for propaganda later on.

Their chairthing Ingrid Newkirk makes plenty of remarks like calling the slaughter of chickens for food "Worse Than The Holocaust" I kid you not, and she's made it clear she opposes using animals for medical purposes. Even though she's a diabetic who uses bovine-based insulin to keep her sorry ass alive.


I have a friend who goes on this exact same rant, almost word for word, regularly. Its uncanny.