NationStates Jolt Archive

The Australian Police is hunting for a guy who is kidnapping blow up dolls.

The guy is breaking into adult shops, searching for ‘Jungle Janes’ (he prefers this brand) and have sex with them. Later he is leaving them somewhere on the street.

The police are investigating the DNA and fingerprints and have real hope to arrest him soon.

So after all, your sex life isn’t that bad. Or isn't? :)


http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Burglar_stole_Jungle_Jane_blow_up_dolls_for_alleyway_sex_session&in_article_id=462988&in_page_id=2

http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2009/01/07/22431_local-news.html

Leave him alone. At least he isn't doing that to real women. :p

At least he's gettin' some...

Hah.. I just watched Lars and the Real Girl. In that movie the guy ain't so bad and the doll is cool too!

No one really has sex. Its a myth.

That dirty, sordid depravity doesn't happen. Now, you might ask, where do babies come from? When a couple really love each other the angels go to work in a factory in the sky, make a baby, and the stork brings it down, backed up by a heavenly choir to give an appropriate atmosphere of holiness to the occasion.

Well thats how it used to work. The whole process has now been privatized on the insistence of the IMF to cut God's costs after Heaven developed a huge and unsustainable budget deficit. Numerous mistakes are now made in the process leading to an abundance of stupid and ugly babies, and the widespread delivery of babies to heathen households wholly unsuited to bringing up children.

No one really has sex. Its a myth.

That dirty, sordid depravity doesn't happen. Now, you might ask, where do babies come from? When a couple really love each other the angels go to work in a factory in the sky, make a baby, and the stork brings it down, backed up by a heavenly choir to give an appropriate atmosphere of holiness to the occasion.

Well thats how it used to work. The whole process has now been privatized on the insistence of the IMF to cut God's costs after Heaven developed a huge and unsustainable budget deficit. Numerous mistakes are now made in the process leading to an abundance of stupid and ugly babies, and the widespread delivery of babies to heathen households wholly unsuited to bringing up children.

You always make me laugh.

Hah.. I just watched Lars and the Real Girl. In that movie the guy ain't so bad and the doll is cool too!

The movie rated a positive "meh" when I saw it with a special friend. Actually, I liked it, but she didn't, so I adopted that stance. :p

At least he's gettin' some...

This.



Also, are those dolls really that expensive that he has to steal them?

No one really has sex. Its a myth.

That dirty, sordid depravity doesn't happen. Now, you might ask, where do babies come from? When a couple really love each other the angels go to work in a factory in the sky, make a baby, and the stork brings it down, backed up by a heavenly choir to give an appropriate atmosphere of holiness to the occasion.

Well thats how it used to work. The whole process has now been privatized on the insistence of the IMF to cut God's costs after Heaven developed a huge and unsustainable budget deficit. Numerous mistakes are now made in the process leading to an abundance of stupid and ugly babies, and the widespread delivery of babies to heathen households wholly unsuited to bringing up children.

"Oh my god, the stork! Wait...where's the baby?"
(deep voiced stork)"You and me are going to make the baby."

when I googled 'Jungle Janes' this is what I got:
http://www.bigskyballoons.com/images/Balloons/Jungle_jane.jpg
that man has extremely bizarre tastes. But then, seeing as he's from Cairns it's too be expected.

Hah.. I just watched Lars and the Real Girl. In that movie the guy ain't so bad and the doll is cool too!

That was a suprisingly hysterical film. Lars' girlfriend was hot!

when I googled 'Jungle Janes' this is what I got:
http://www.bigskyballoons.com/images/Balloons/Jungle_jane.jpg
that man has extremely bizarre tastes. But then, seeing as he's from Cairns it's too be expected.

I'd do her. *nod*

I'd do her. *nod*

like I said, he has bizarre tastes.

I'd do her. *nod*

I'd do her and film it, then post that film here.

Good thing nobody lit a match. Can you imagine the confusion of the forensics team?

I thought the thread title was looking for examples rather than providing one. My first thought was prudes and conservatives. You know -- people who think sex is bad, usually because sex with them always is.

I thought the thread title was looking for examples rather than providing one. My first thought was prudes and conservatives. You know -- people who think sex is bad, usually because sex with them always is.

You know whats worse than that?

You know whats worse than that?

Probably not, but I'm sure you'll tell us. :p

I thought the thread title was looking for examples rather than providing one. My first thought was prudes and conservatives. You know -- people who think sex is bad, usually because sex with them always is.

Maybe is the doll f*cker that prude and conservative to have sex with real women that he's forced to follow the doll path.

Added to profile:

* Conservative
* Prude

Probably not, but I'm sure you'll tell us. :p

You are correct in your assumption.

Those aforementioned prudes and conservatives are likely to be having better sex than I am.

The Australian Police is hunting for a guy who is kidnapping blow up dolls.

The guy is breaking into adult shops, searching for ‘Jungle Janes’ (he prefers this brand) and have sex with them. Later he is leaving them somewhere on the street.

The police are investigating the DNA and fingerprints and have real hope to arrest him soon.

So after all, your sex life isn’t that bad. Or isn't? :)


http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Burglar_stole_Jungle_Jane_blow_up_dolls_for_alleyway_sex_session&in_article_id=462988&in_page_id=2

http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2009/01/07/22431_local-news.html

dunno... is a bad sex life better or worse than no sex life?

To me this shows a man with a need to

1) Commit a crime in the course of his sexual exploits
2) View women as cheap merchandise
3) Leave their bodies on the street after he's got his pleasure

The fact that so far, he's only targeting blow-up dolls doesn't change these facets which, IMO, make him a prime candidate for future serial rapist/serial killer material.

I'd do her and film it, then post that film here.

That's hawt.

Doesn't this guy know that sex with all those blowup dolls is only going to make more Scientologists. Everytime you hump a blowup doll, a Scientologist starts forming within its womb.

This is why Anpu wants them banned. If Zepland ever wants to win the war against Xenuland, Zepland has to keep more of those Scientologist bastards from being born.

*snip*

that man has extremely bizarre tastes. But then, seeing as he's from Cairns it's too be expected.


Maybe it's Rotovia or Neu Leo? They're from Qld.

At least he's gettin' some...
You know of course that a little effort needs to be employed to get some. It usually doesn't just fall into your lap, figuratively speaking.

You are correct in your assumption.

Those aforementioned prudes and conservatives are likely to be having better sex than I am.

That does suck... need a hand? ;)

That does suck... need a hand? ;)

I've got two already, it no longer satisfies my needs. ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwNVE37BGVE

when I googled 'Jungle Janes' this is what I got:
http://www.bigskyballoons.com/images/Balloons/Jungle_jane.jpg
that man has extremely bizarre tastes. But then, seeing as he's from Cairns it's too be expected.

Me Make Snoo-Snoo!? lol

I've got two already, it no longer satisfies my needs. ;)

Clearly it's time to try a new hand.

To me this shows a man with a need to

1) Commit a crime in the course of his sexual exploits
2) View women as cheap merchandise
3) Leave their bodies on the street after he's got his pleasure

The fact that so far, he's only targeting blow-up dolls doesn't change these facets which, IMO, make him a prime candidate for future serial rapist/serial killer material.

Don't forget

4) Targets victims explicitly unable to cry out for help, much less report the crime to local authorities.
5) Does not use protection, thus may be a carrier for numerous VDs.

This twisted freak needs to be stopped before he moves on to animated sex toys.

Don't forget

4) Targets victims explicitly unable to cry out for help, much less report the crime to local authorities.
5) Does not use protection, thus may be a carrier for numerous VDs.

This twisted freak needs to be stopped before he moves on to animated sex toys.

That last bit's more serious than it sounds. Ever heard the term "escalating fetishist?" I believe their was one story I heard about a guy who started out stealing shoes (it apparently turned him on), and ultimately ended up killing women. I'll try to find the book where I read it.

This guy is clearly sick and needs help. I hope they catch him fast, in case he's on his way to bigger and uglier things.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwNVE37BGVE

Sounds like a teenage anthem.

Clearly it's time to try a new hand.

I would like to try something other than a hand again. My hands have been a Jack, 7, offsuite.

If this thread is looking for examples of people with bad sex lives then consider me. I've never even had a sex life.