NationStates Jolt Archive


Embarrassing Medical Conditions

Galloism
07-01-2009, 18:48
Ok, please tell me that The Sun in Britain is like The Weekly World News here in the states. Stories like this are just... well, horrifying.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2105253.ece

Mirela Gradinaru, 37, arrived at the clinic in Arad, western Romania, in agony, begging docs to help.

But she refused to tell surgeons how the can came to be lodged in her rear even after a successful operation dislodged the canister.

‘ This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray ’

Mirandolina Prisca, a doctor at the clinic, explained: "We had X-rays done to localise the object and then we carried out the operation. The patient was fine after it.

"She was very embarrassed. She was clearly in a lot of pain, however it got there."

"This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray," said one hospital worker.

Now, I know quite a few medical techs and they have regailed me with stories of things that women have put up their... hooha... but this is huge, and up the bum?

Also, share funny medical stories you've had/heard :)
Yootopia
07-01-2009, 18:50
lol :D
No Names Left Damn It
07-01-2009, 18:51
Sun, Daily Mirror and the Daily Fail are all crappy lying tabloids.
Wilgrove
07-01-2009, 18:51
See, this is why you should stick to vibrators or butt plugs people!
Yootopia
07-01-2009, 18:52
Sun, Daily Mirror and the Daily Fail are all crappy lying tabloids.
This is quite hilarious, though.
Galloism
07-01-2009, 18:58
This is quite hilarious, though.

I'm sure she came in to the hospital saying "I accidently an entire hairspray bottle!" "The WHOLE thing?"
Dumb Ideologies
07-01-2009, 19:00
She must have just sat on it from a funny angle. I can't think of any other way or reason for it to have got up there.
Troglobites
07-01-2009, 19:04
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eghL7ORV1lg
Kryozerkia
07-01-2009, 19:07
No one else sees this as foreplay gone horribly wrong? :D
Wilgrove
07-01-2009, 19:10
No one else sees this as foreplay gone horribly wrong? :D

Which is why I said "This is what vibrator and butt plugs are for"
Galloism
07-01-2009, 19:11
No one else sees this as foreplay gone horribly wrong? :D

We *all* do. We just didn't want to say it.
Pure Metal
07-01-2009, 19:11
she probably fell on it by accident. what's the big problem? it can happen to anyone..... :$:$

*winces at non-memories*

Sun, Daily Mirror and the Daily Fail are all crappy lying tabloids.

yup
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
07-01-2009, 19:52
Stop, 90's Reference Time:

Have you ever *met* a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. *Plant* yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they *stuck* something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one." - Kramer
Ferrous Oxide
07-01-2009, 19:55
Sun, Daily Mirror and the Daily Fail are all crappy lying tabloids.

But they have topless girls on the third page.
Dempublicents1
07-01-2009, 20:02
Apparently, guys often end up seeking medical attention for various things they lose inside their urethras. The book I'm reading listed reported cases including a rat's tail, a stick from a Christmas tree, and one guy with 3 sets of forceps.
Myedvedeya
07-01-2009, 20:08
http://www.explosm.net/comics/1496/
Kryozerkia
07-01-2009, 20:44
Which is why I said "This is what vibrator and butt plugs are for"

How tame... ;) They might've been feeling... adventurous.
The Brevious
08-01-2009, 08:37
See, this is why you should stick to vibrators or butt plugs people!And only on occasion those giant Crayola coin banks!
The Brevious
08-01-2009, 08:38
Stop, 90's Reference Time:

Have you ever *met* a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. *Plant* yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they *stuck* something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one." - Kramer
Holy crap!
I actually predicted YOU mentioning this!
*sobs*
The Brevious
08-01-2009, 08:39
Absolute travesty that JuNii hasn't posted much here.
South Lorenya
08-01-2009, 12:07
I was born as part of a scaleless, wingless, tailless species (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human). :(
SaintB
08-01-2009, 12:18
That's bad...

Embarrassing medical stories.. when I was a kid skin started to grow inside my urethra and close it off, I had to have a bypass done where they created a new opening on the head of my penis... :$
Forsakia
08-01-2009, 12:20
I did the whole, nearly strangle yourself with the umbilical cord thing. I blame it for a pessimistic outlook on life.
Domici
08-01-2009, 12:31
No one else sees this as foreplay gone horribly wrong? :D

I'm sure she just found out that the lining of the intestines contains millions of hair-like structures and she decided that she needed to style them.
Bouitazia
08-01-2009, 13:51
When I was young I had water in my scrotum,
so I had to undergo some surgery to remove/drain it.

My biggest fear today is that it somehow made me sterile,
which I certainly hope that it did not.
It didn't..right?

It might also explain why no one has seen me naked since I was about 5.

*blushes furiously, and hopes everyone will forget I ever said anything*
SaintB
08-01-2009, 13:53
When I was young I had water in my scrotum,
so I had to undergo some surgery to remove/drain it.

My biggest fear today is that it somehow made me sterile,
which I certainly hope that it did not.
It didn't..right?

It might also explain why no one has seen me naked since I was about 5.

*blushes furiously, and hopes everyone will forget I ever said anything*

Its about as embarrassing as mine.
Zombie PotatoHeads
08-01-2009, 15:34
I see your 'woman with an aerosol can up her butt' and raise you with a 'vicar with a potato up his arse':

Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom
A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.


Last Updated: 2:55PM GMT 31 Oct 2008

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in

Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield's Northern General Hospital, said: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed."

She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.
LInky~ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html)
I do like how she said she wouldn't question his 'explanation' then went right into a warning about sticking things up one's butt for sexual jollies.
Ifreann
08-01-2009, 15:40
I was born as part of a scaleless, wingless, tailless species (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human). :(
Furry Failure :tongue:
I did the whole, nearly strangle yourself with the umbilical cord thing. I blame it for a pessimistic outlook on life.
Emo baby.
When I was young I had water in my scrotum,
so I had to undergo some surgery to remove/drain it.

My biggest fear today is that it somehow made me sterile,
which I certainly hope that it did not.
It didn't..right?

It might also explain why no one has seen me naked since I was about 5.

*blushes furiously, and hopes everyone will forget I ever said anything*
*saves post forever*
I see your 'woman with an aerosol can up her butt' and raise you with a 'vicar with a potato up his arse':

LInky~ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html)
I do like how she said she wouldn't question his 'explanation' then went right into a warning about sticking things up one's butt for sexual jollies.

Man, even I don't love potatoes that much, and I'm Irish.
One-O-One
08-01-2009, 15:40
she probably fell on it by accident. what's the big problem? it can happen to anyone..... :$:$

*winces at non-memories*



yup

Damn, beat me to it. But really, that carrot...I was hanging curtains, I happened to be naked and I slipped on the ladder!
Ifreann
08-01-2009, 15:42
Damn, beat me to it. But really, that watermelon...I was hanging curtains, I happened to be naked and I slipped on the ladder!

Fixed.
Ashmoria
08-01-2009, 15:49
back when we were living in town, the neighbor banged on the door in the middle of the night.

the husband answered the door (thank god) and eventually threw some clothes on to take the guy to the hospital.

turns out the guy had been having some solo sex fun. he had put on a cock ring but after a while ....well his erection wouldnt go down and he couldnt get the damned thing off. the husband didnt want to take him but the guy was in a bit of a panic.

i dont remember if he didnt have a car or if he couldnt drive himself.....
Lunatic Goofballs
08-01-2009, 15:52
There are few experiences more mortifying than having a doctor physically examine your swollen aching testicles for damage. Not only do you have swollen aching testicles, but you now have some old fuck rolling them around in his latex gloved hands looking for ruptures.

Of course, some people pay extra for that...
South Lorenya
08-01-2009, 17:43
Furry Failure :tongue:

Now, now -- scaly failure is more accurate.
The Brevious
09-01-2009, 06:25
Man, even I don't love potatoes that much, and I'm Irish.
*insert Winner of Thread link here*
VirginiaCooper
09-01-2009, 07:01
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw1BUGRwRv0&feature=PlayList&p=C12E4F8F065F32CD&index=0&playnext=1

I cannot believe no one put Scrubs up!
Boonytopia
09-01-2009, 14:34
A medical student friend of my told me of a story where a patient had presented with a sauce bottle up his bum. Apparently his story was that he had slipped & fallen on it while he was climbing naked through the window.

Don't know how true it is, but you've got to love the "mysterious foreign object lodged up the arse" stories.
Hotwife
09-01-2009, 16:39
I wonder if there's such a thing as uncontrollable seizures of the rectum...
Bouitazia
09-01-2009, 16:52
I wonder if there's such a thing as uncontrollable seizures of the rectum...

Something similar to the Brown note (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_note) perhaps?
Netherwood
09-01-2009, 17:12
Nothing could ever be as bad as that one video I saw on the internet last week, some dude shoving a glass jar up his ass and then it snaps and breaks into a thousand pieces... there was blood and glass splinters coming out of his ass like crazy, it looked like some kind of thick tomato sauce or something so there might have been pieces of meat in there too. He tried to peel some pieces out but failed, so he got up and I could hear the pieces of glass grinding against each other inside him and he screamed out loud when he tried to walk to the phone...

that video scarred me for life
Risottia
09-01-2009, 17:30
No one else sees this as foreplay gone horribly wrong? :D

I wonder, if this was FOREplay, what did they plan to do as -let's say- the main event.
Partybus
09-01-2009, 17:49
So I am not sure if this is an urban legend, but, I heard tell of a gent who entered the emergency room because, he decided to see if his pet horse loved him as much as he loved the horse...So when the guy attempted to be felated by him, the horse mistook the dingle for a carrot:eek:...That IMO is worth a shudder at least...Until, a week later when the same fellow returned to the ER because his stitches had burst (do I even need to say how?)...Honestly, this is almost too stupid, behavior-wise to be anything but true...:p
JuNii
09-01-2009, 19:44
Absolute travesty that JuNii hasn't posted much here.

Sorry, but with HIPPA in effect, I'm kinda limited to myself...

Diverticulitis is not an Embarrassing Medical Condition. however, should any of the inflamations within the intestine burst...

... don't know how many men want to admit their asshole is bleeding...

and from some of the stuff I've read about being stuck up the rama-lama-ding dong, a can of hairspray is mild.
Sarkhaan
09-01-2009, 19:49
Sorry, but with HIPPA in effect, I'm kinda limited to myself...

Diverticulitis is not an Embarrassing Medical Condition. however, should any of the inflamations within the intestine burst...

... don't know how many men want to admit their asshole is bleeding...

"For the love of god, and all that is holy, my anus is bleeding!"
The Brevious
10-01-2009, 08:44
Sorry, but with HIPPA in effect, I'm kinda limited to myself...

Diverticulitis is not an Embarrassing Medical Condition. however, should any of the inflamations within the intestine burst...

... don't know how many men want to admit their asshole is bleeding...

and from some of the stuff I've read about being stuck up the rama-lama-ding dong, a can of hairspray is mild.Mild? So .... better example? Giant Crayon coinbank? Cactus? Lightbulbs?
The Brevious
10-01-2009, 08:45
"For the love of god, and all that is holy, my anus is bleeding!"Sig?
JuNii
12-01-2009, 10:06
Mild? So .... better example? Giant Crayon coinbank? Cactus? Lightbulbs?

live animals (http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2003-09.html)?

Alcohol (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-13.html)?

a weapon (http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2000-02.html)?
Rotovia-
12-01-2009, 10:34
Always keep hold ladies, always keep hold
Querinos
12-01-2009, 10:41
Don't know how true it is, but you've got to love the "mysterious foreign object lodged up the arse" stories.

Sounds like its time the Mythbusters get cracking.:D
The Brevious
13-01-2009, 06:43
live animals (http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2003-09.html)?

Alcohol (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-13.html)?

a weapon (http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2000-02.html)?
I knew you wouldn't let me down!
:hail:
The Brevious
13-01-2009, 06:44
Sounds like its time the Mythbusters get cracking.:D
I want to contribute. And I want Kari, and Kari alone, to confirm with/for me.
The Brevious
13-01-2009, 06:44
he had put on a cock ring but after a while ....well his erection wouldnt go down and he couldnt get the damned thing off.Been there. Not fun.