NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm sure this has been suggested before, somewhere, by somebody. Like any truly good idea, it just can't lay down and die.

We need an American Foreign Legion. The French make it work. You accept applicants from all over the world, pick the best, and use them for non-sensitive trigger work around the world.

We've done great by brain-draining the world...surely, the world has a supply of tough, brave dudes willing to cash an American pay check under an assumed name. It would be cheaper than PMCs like Blackwater, and foreigners don't have American families that would go on TV upset when their son died.

And if they lose it and do something monstrous, and a journalist happens to see it, no harm, no foul. We just say "Well...that guy was Serbian. You know how they are."

Tell me this wouldn't work (and why).

They already do. It's called the US Army.

Service guarentees citizenship and all that.

They already do. It's called the US Army.

Service guarentees citizenship and all that.

I mean one that is for exclusively foreigners, or Americans willing to take an alias and pretend to be Canadian.

The US Army is full of people with US Families, who get sad when their dad/son/brother is killed.

I mean one that is for exclusively foreigners, or Americans willing to take an alias and pretend to be Canadian.

The US Army is full of people with US Families, who get sad when their dad/son/brother is killed.

Good? :confused:

Good? :confused:

No, bad.

People who have lost their loved ones to war get upset, and sometimes they get upset in the media. Then everybody gets upset.

But a foreign legion would be composed of elite trained foreigners, with no family beyond the legion itself. They would be mourned by their comrades, but not on television.

And the detachment works both ways. If they get caught doing some atrocious, we could say "Well, you know how foreigners are."

I'll tell you why it won't work. The Communists...remember them? Group of bearded folks, they were huge until the 1990s before they split? A bit too keen on the vodka? No? Well, anyway, why it wouldn't work is that it would be infiltrated by all the people now unemployed in Eastern Europe since communism stopped providing everyone with jobs by getting twelve to do the job of one.

They reach a critical mass where their ideology begins to dominate the whole organization. What you've now got is an organization with 'America' in its title, going round spreading ideas of equality and atheism. Quite frankly, thats going to be a bit embarrassing. I'll admit I'm not entirely sure how this works, but this plan would also make the terrorists win. Mutual alliance based on silly beards? Who knows?

No, bad.

People who have lost their loved ones to war get upset, and sometimes they get upset in the media. Then everybody gets upset.

But a foreign legion would be composed of elite trained foreigners, with no family beyond the legion itself. They would be mourned by their comrades, but not on television.

And the detachment works both ways. If they get caught doing some atrocious, we could say "Well, you know how foreigners are."

Yeah but the possibility of crying families on their doorstep is a good incentive for US politicians not to send people to their deaths.

It's ok, the rest of the world looks at American atrocities and says "What a bunch of backward foreigners" anyway.

This would be a slippery slope to bestiality and necrophilia.

I'll tell you why it won't work. The Communists...remember them? Group of bearded folks, they were huge until the 1990s before they split? A bit too keen on the vodka? No? Well, anyway, why it wouldn't work is that it would be infiltrated by all the people now unemployed in Eastern Europe since communism stopped providing everyone with jobs by getting twelve to do the job of one.

They reach a critical mass where their ideology begins to dominate the whole organization. What you've now got is an organization with 'America' in its title, going round spreading ideas of equality and atheism. Quite frankly, thats going to be a bit embarrassing. I'll admit I'm not entirely sure how this works, but this plan would also make the terrorists win. Mutual alliance based on silly beards? Who knows?

Shit, that's too bad...ex-Spetsnaz and other high end slavic ass kickers would have filled it out nicely. Are you sure they can't just be bought?

I mean, give 'em good food, money, citizenship after 3 years, they'll come to love our American way!

I could just see an Al-Queda member in Afghanistan saying "Why are we fighting Russians again?"

This would be a slippery slope to bestiality and necrophilia.

That's what you said about my debate-for-charity idea.

And my New York Get Together idea.

And my run for moderator.

And tort reform...

That's what you said about my debate-for-charity idea.

And my New York Get Together idea.

And my run for moderator.

And tort reform...

And tell me - was I wrong? There is nothing slippery than that slope which has a sheep and a dead guy at the bottom of it.

And tell me - was I wrong? There is nothing slippery than that slope which has a sheep and a dead guy at the bottom of it.

That's so true. We should add it to the Bible.

Shit, that's too bad...ex-Spetsnaz and other high end slavic ass kickers would have filled it out nicely. Are you sure they can't just be bought?

I mean, give 'em good food, money, citizenship after 3 years, they'll come to love our American way!

I could just see an Al-Queda member in Afghanistan saying "Why are we fighting Russians again?"

I'm afraid not. Afraid not...hmm...that reminds me of a joke I was once told involving a rope. But thats for later. But no, you cannot buy the Russians. They don't like money, What they really like is working twenty-five hours a day producing a shit-load (thats a technical unit) of steel, for the equivalent of less than one of your dollars, the silly currency that that is, with its references to God and other strange quirks. Although, I've just had a thought which might save the situation. Promise them after ten years service (pay should be in vodka bottles, this is, I feel, the unofficial currency of the Russians) a permanent job in a steel factory with a complementary weekly whipping by a Stalin lookalike. At slave labour wages, even American entrepreneurs can make money out of this and not have to run to the government begging for some package to stimulate them (Oo-er, missus)

I'm afraid not. Afraid not...hmm...that reminds me of a joke I was once told involving a rope. But thats for later. But no, you cannot buy the Russians. They don't like money, What they really like is working twenty-five hours a day producing a shit-load (thats a technical unit) of steel, for the equivalent of less than one of your dollars, the silly currency that that is, with its references to God and other strange quirks. Although, I've just had a thought which might save the situation. Promise them after ten years service (pay should be in vodka bottles, this is, I feel, the unofficial currency of the Russians) a permanent job in a steel factory with a complementary weekly whipping by a Stalin lookalike. At slave labour wages, even American entrepreneurs can make money out of this and not have to run to the government begging for some package to stimulate them (Oo-er, missus)

Wait...I don't understand....just the bottles, or does the Vodka still have to be in them? Because I think they'll want the Vodka, too.

I don't ike this idea at all. It will take you away from me, same as Jhah did by joining the French Legion. I know he's really in Tijuana, drinking tequila and exchanging dollars for pesos with STD ridden prostitutes who only want to be close to him because Jhah's Jhah, no matter how one looks at it.

That's what you said about my debate-for-charity idea.

And my New York Get Together idea.

And my run for moderator.

And tort reform...

and my penis.

Well, ok, that one might not be far off.

and my penis.

Well, ok, that one might not be far off.

Or your lawyer bod in a catsuit...

Wait...I don't understand....just the bottles, or does the Vodka still have to be in them? Because I think they'll want the Vodka, too.

Well, you might be able to get away with it without the Vodka. Its probably for the best not to try it, though it really depends. Some of the folks from Siberia, bless them, their minds are so addled by the cold, they just put the bottle to the lips, make a gulping noise and assume the vodka is there. Imagine that! In some ways these are perfect soldiers, simple-minded enough that they won't complain whatever the danger or stupid pointlessness of the task (see: the recent conflict in Iraqistan). But, you know, all it takes is one bearded man ranting about the proletariat and seizing the means of production and, my word. Their behaviour, well, I've heard stories - and I'm not going to lie to you - how their behaviour turns. It's simply revolting. But, then again, what is capitalism based on if not taking ridiculous risks, hoping it'll turn out okay, while shredding all the documents so you can't be blamed when it all goes the way of the pear?

...Americans willing to take an alias and pretend to be Canadian.

The proud Americans, always proud to wear the Canadian flag wherever they go! IMHO we should change it again - your all so clueless about Canada I'm sure it'll take a couple years for you to catch on.

The US Army is basically just that. Personally in my tank crew I had 1 Armenian, 1 Mexican and myself and another somewhat white guy. The Armenian was a former Soviet Tanker of all things.

It's easier than a Foreign Legion. Just give money and guns to anyone who wants to do the dirty work, and will do what the CIA wants without having to be directly ordered to.

Then when it's done, you designate them as terrists and blow crap out of them. It works out cheaper than paying them a military pension ...

Or your lawyer bod in a catsuit...

The new meme has taken hold of NSG :tongue:

The new meme has taken hold of NSG :tongue:

Indeed it has.:tongue:

Well as others have stated there are already foreigners serving in the military, and the CIA already uses foreigners to fight proxy wars.

An American Foreign legion does have a certain appeal however, but also a danger. Read up on the Foederatti (sp?) of the later Western Roman Empire. An American Foreign Legion could turn out to become a knife at our throats in the long run.

Shit, that's too bad...ex-Spetsnaz and other high end slavic ass kickers would have filled it out nicely. Are you sure they can't just be bought?

I mean, give 'em good food, money, citizenship after 3 years, they'll come to love our American way!

I could just see an Al-Queda member in Afghanistan saying "Why are we fighting Russians again?"


Spetsnaz are the last people you want, if you want to minimize civilian casualties. They usually become mercs afterwords, so I guess it's a moot point :confused:


Also, Afghans came to Chechnya to die in the mountains like their "brothers"

Tell me this wouldn't work (and why).
Wouldn't work, the US doesn't have former colonies to recruit from. You'd get a bunch of Canucks, Mexicans and the odd Korean. That's about it.

You'd get a bunch of Canucks, Mexicans and the odd Korean. That's about it.
Zerg rush! KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Instead of the "American Foreign Legion" they should call it the Imperial Guard.

And they should get lasrifles.

See, the actual US Army doesn't work the same, because it also has Americans in it, and when they get killed, s'bad.

I want a segregated unit of foreigners, so that any and all casualties incurred by the element are foreigners.

Hell Fucking Yeah! This is a great idea along with sending convicted felons to fight in wars! Seriously this is awesome!

Zerg rush! KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Zerg rush Iraq. Hydralisks make short work of insurgents. Infested Terrorist Training camps?

Zerg rush Iraq. Hydralisks make short work of insurgents. Infested Terrorist Training camps?

Basically the same unit, anyway.

The new meme has taken hold of NSG :tongue:

*high-fives Gravlen*

Our little baby meme is all grown up! *wipes tear*