NationStates Jolt Archive

Hello boys and girls *giggles like Barney*

*immediately tackled*

Anyway... for the first time in a long time I've become unemployed. Now, I have never had a formal resume` before, being hired by word of mouth pretty much up until now.

Can anyone tell me how to write a resume that catches peoples' attention?

Well that depends. What field of work are you in, what education do you have and which country are you in?

United States
High school edumication :)
And I was a state trooper, but now I'm looking into private security.

Well It sounds like you have skills related to the field. My GF's dad was a cop (in Bulgaria) - he managed to get a job as a driver for some greek millionaire and then he moved on to insurance. As for resume I can't help you with specifics - but I would recommend a very very clean and boring style - 2 pages, lots of white space and use a sans serif font.

Write it onto cookies. *nod*

United States
High school edumication :)
And I was a state trooper, but now I'm looking into private security.

Considering the quality of the people I know who've worked in private security, I think a post it note with "I use to be a cop" should work just fine for you to get a top position with whoever is hiring.

But then, I am probably over simplifying.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/681/01/

And was that Rubble, or the Dinosaur?

Carve your resume in the body of the previous security guard; the one you killed without anyone noticing. That should show your qualifications, and it doesn't even really matter if you have much to carve. Just make sure your spelling's right.

And was that Rubble, or the Dinosaur?

I'm sorry for this.





http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s179/Wheeljak/Blog/Barney.jpg

NO WAY.
What would he see in those bald apes?

NO WAY.
What would he see in those bald apes?

When the only other survivors of your genus are a twelve-year-old boy and his infant sister, you learn to make do with what's available.

NO WAY.
What would he see in those bald apes?

You get turned down by Barney too?

DOOM 2 had a Barney Mod.....


LOL. I still remember going at him with the chainsaw.

LOL. I still remember going at him with the chainsaw.

Always been a personal fantasy of mine.

1 page, use present tense verbs, print it on nice paper, don't forget to proof read and include your contact information.

I'd suggest fuck the resume and take your time as a state trooper and sell it to the highest bidder. Nothing oozes awesome like working for the criminal underworld.

I'd suggest fuck the resume and take your time as a state trooper and sell it to the highest bidder. Nothing oozes awesome like working for the criminal underworld.

I'm no longer a trooper. I'm unemployed.

Also, I wouldn't even then.

United States
High school edumication :)
And I was a state trooper, but now I'm looking into private security.

I'd suggest these guys. I used to see them all the time, in a part of Iraq with very few explody things along the road.

http://www.tmg-security.com/

edit: I've also heard good things about Armour Group.

United States
High school edumication :)
And I was a state trooper, but now I'm looking into private security.
how long were you a trooper?

surely you can just call up any security company and get a job.

how long were you a trooper?

surely you can just call up any security company and get a job.

About a year and a half.

You would think so, but the economic downturn has hit all of us, I'm afraid.

About a year and a half.

You would think so, but the economic downturn has hit all of us, I'm afraid.
well ok

IF they are hiring, why wouldnt they hire a former trooper? who has better training?

And don't forget to sell yourself, List your good Qualities and experiences empress them don't kiss ass, get your foot in the door and show up a little early Be Neat and well groomed first impressions is a plus depending on the Job.

Do you have any special skills, like the ability to suck chrome off a trailer hitch? That should go high in your resume.

Ok Galloism, since nobody seems to be too serious I will be uncharacteristically serious and offer some tips.

When I write a resume, I usually try to keep it to a single page, I use a crisp easy to read font such as sans serif or arial and break down information into bolded subgroups. I start with my contact information: name, address, all that crap and then list my education; I list any particular courses I took that I think are relevant.


Education
Pimple Faced Punk Jr/Sr High School 1997-2003
Address (optional)
Number (optional)
Courses: General Education, How to Chase and Beat Down Trespassers (I'm sorry I can't completely take the jokes out of it..)

The of course job history, only use the ones that are flattering to you, and anything else you think might be relevant to get your job. I write a new resume for every single position I apply for.

It's quite simple. First, draw Satanic symbols on yourself with randomly colored markers. Trust me, it's for luck. Put a few facts about yourself and previous problems with employers, such as harassment and the sort. Put on an easily ripped suit. Then, go into a business, any business, and ask the first employee you see if he wants to see your resume. Ignore his answer, in the business world, they love people with initiative! Then, rip off your suit and parade every inch of your marked body in front of their face. Don't be afraid to be unconventional, stand up on the table if you have to. If you're dragged away by security, remember to kick and scream, they like a man who fights to the end! And remember, for every moment you spend in that cell, it becomes ten times more likely that they'll call you back for another interview!

U are an ex-state trooper. What you should do is make up a story about the governor being a kiddy-fiddler and sell it for $500,000. Then just retire to Belize, where you can live on the beach for $20 a day under an assumed name.

Hello boys and girls *giggles like Barney*

*immediately tackled*

Anyway... for the first time in a long time I've become unemployed. Now, I have never had a formal resume` before, being hired by word of mouth pretty much up until now.

Can anyone tell me how to write a resume that catches peoples' attention?

No more than two pages, and always, always taylor your CV(thats what we call it over here) for the job you are planning to intervier for. Yes that means a bit of a re-write for each and every company that you apply to.

1 page, use present tense verbs, print it on nice paper, don't forget to proof read and include your contact information.

This, though I would say two pages is okay. The proof reading is important - if I am shortlisting people for a job a CV with obvious spelling and grammar mistakes goes straight into the bin.

Include a package of fortune cookies with your resume. Each cookie should have a factoid about you and for extra credit, they should be in proper chinese fortune format. By that, I mean that the fortune becomes much more amusing by adding the words 'in bed' to the end of it. Some examples:

Galloism's hobbies include composing poetry, animal husbandry and wrestling. (in bed)

or

Galloism is an expert marksman. (in bed)

:D

No more than two pages, and always, always taylor your CV(thats what we call it over here) for the job you are planning to intervier for. Yes that means a bit of a re-write for each and every company that you apply to.

And especially proof-read those bits that were rewritten!

There can be plenty of examples of resumes found online. I noticed that the standards for CVs and resumes varies from country to country, though... American example resumes generally look rather alien to me, so I cannot give any further advice...

Galloism
123 Main Street
Miami Beach, Florida
phone: (555)555-1234
Cell: (555)555-2345
galloism@somewhere.com



Seek the Challenging Position of Security Guard

A highly talented Security Guard with huge experience in providing personal, equipment, and real property security in assigned areas; providing information, directions, and escort service as needed.

Summary of Qualifications

# More than one year of experience in Law Enforcement with So and So Police department.
# Great skills in utilizing building security and lock systems and procedures.
# Excellent ability to detect problems and report information to appropriate personnel.
# Exceptional ability to drive motor vehicles.
# Remarkable ability to understand and follow safety procedures.
# Strong ability to understand and follow specific instructions and procedures.
# Profound ability to resolve customer complaints and concerns.
# Immense skills in providing protection services to individuals on campus.
# In-depth ability to gather data, compile information, and prepare reports.
# Uncommon knowledge of federal, state, and local traffic laws and regulations governing the operation of a commercial passenger vehicle.
# Profound ability to communicate effectively, both orally and in writing.

Professional Experience

Here you may want to add other jobs that may have something to do with getting hired as a security guard

New StoreHouse Inc., Tarrytown, NY
2000 - Present

Security Guard

* Patrolled assigned areas on foot or in a vehicle to ensure personal, building, and equipment security.
* Examined doors, windows, and gates to determine that they are secure.
* Informed and warned violators of rule infractions, such as loitering, smoking, or carrying forbidden articles.
* Provided escort services for visitors, students, staff, faculty, and individuals responsible for transportation of monies to or from StoreHouse's depositories as required.
* Provided public assistance, including lockout services and information.
* Watched for and reported irregularities, such as fire hazards, leaking water pipes, and security doors left unlocked; sounded alarm during fire outbreak and the presence of unauthorized persons.
* Performed periodic checks of emergency call boxes and street lights to ensure proper functioning; reported malfunctions as required.
* Prepared routine, standardized reports.
* Drove company's vehicle, providing safe and efficient transportation of company's goods and personnel.
* Performed miscellaneous job-related duties as assigned.


Education and Professional Training

Valid motor vehicle operator's license issued by New York State

Community School, Tarrytown, NY
High School Diploma (1999)

Under education list any cool course you took as a State Trooper, firearms training, health and safety related courses.

Basically you are just providing talking points for the interview. That is where you knock them out of their socks.

And especially proof-read those bits that were rewritten!

There can be plenty of examples of resumes found online. I noticed that the standards for CVs and resumes varies from country to country, though... American example resumes generally look rather alien to me, so I cannot give any further advice...

Yep indeed, or get somebody else to do that for you.

Under education list any cool course you took as a State Trooper, firearms training, health and safety related courses.

Basically you are just providing talking points for the interview. That is where you knock them out of their socks.

Thanks. I appreciate your help.

apply for some shitty job in the meantime (factory though bars will love you)

lie so hard you suffer third degree burns with the added interview skill of dressing yourself correctly (ironed creases down the leg if you please)

I'm looking into private security.

this is a mistake

if you can, stick with the public sector as your in it now (be a fireman or some gay shit like that)

nice paper

mmm strawberry flavored paper :)

SNIP

*is so tempted*

don't kiss ass

do this on your cover letter.

SNIP

<.< >.> copy's for future reference

use heavy paper, if you can get an off colored one, then do so. but no neon or dark colored paper. (Helps your resume to stand out without being obnoxious)
as others said, no more than two pages.
keep a list of references handy (Have at least three references on your resume, if it will stay within the two page limit.)