Mad hatters in jeans
21-12-2008, 19:22
I decided to show you guys a few quotes from "Life's little instruction book" 511 suggestions, observations and reminders on how to live a happy and rewarding life. by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I got this as a Christmas present from my Granny for last year, now fair enough it's the thought that counts, and it's nice she remembers me and get's me a present.
So this is more a critique of the sheer poor content, so without further ado...
From the book de shit
1 Compliment three people every day
2 Have a dog
3 Watch the sunrise at least once a year
4 remember other people's birthdays
5 overtip breakfast waitresses
6 Have a firm handshake
7 look people in the eye
8 say thank you a lot
9 say please a lot
10 learn to play a musical instrument
11 sing in the shower
12 Use the good silver
13 Learn to make great chilli
14 plant flowers every spring
15 Own a great stereo system
16 be the first to say hello
17 live beneath your means
18 Drive inexpensive cars but own the best house you can afford
19 buy great books even if you never read them
20 Be forgiving of yourself and others
21 Learn clean jokes
22 Wear polished shoes
23 Floss your teeth
24 drink champagne for no reason at all
25 Ask for a raise when you feel you've earned it
26 if in a fight, hit first and hit hard (the sucker punch tactic is sure to piss off the other person)
27 Return all things you borrow
28 teach some kind of class
29 be a student in some kind of class
30 never buy a house without a fireplace
31 buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front gardens
32 once in your life own a convertible
33 Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
34 Learn to identify the music of Chopin, MOzart and Beethoven
35 Plant a tree on your birthday
36 Donate two pints of blood every year
37 Make new friends but cherish the old ones
38 Keep secrets
39 Take lots of snapshots
40 Never refuse homemade biscuits (???)
41 Don't postpone joy
42 Write thank you notes promptly
43 Never give up on anybody miracles happen every day (debatable actually)
44 show respect for teachers (depends who it is)
45 Show respect for police officers and firefighters
46 Show respect to military personnel
47 Don't waste time learning the 'tricks of the trade'. Instead learn the trade.
48 Keep a tight rein on your temper
49 Buy vegetables from farmers who advertise with hand-lettered signs
50 Put the cap back on the toothpaste
51 take out the rubbish without having to be told
52 Avoid over-exposure to the sun
53 Vote
54 Surprise loved ones with little unexpected gifts.
55 Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
56 Never mention being on a diet (why???)
57 make the best of bad situations (well duh)
58 Always accept an outstretched hand
59 Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity they think of you. (what if i don't want to have children?)
60 Admit your mistakes (NEVER!)
61 Ask someone to pick up your mail and daily paper when you're out of town. Those are the fist two things potential burglars look for.
62 Use your partner to amuse not abuse
63 Remember that all news is biased.
64 Take a photography course. (what? why?)
65 Let people pull in front of you when you're stopped in traffic.
66 Support a school orchestra or band. (how's about no?)
67 Demand excellence and be willing to pay for it.
68 Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
69 Whistle (no it's irritating)
70 hug children after you discipline them. (even when they aren't my own?)
71 learn to make something beautiful with your hands. (..must resist obvious joke...)
72 Give charity all the clothes you haven't worn for three years.
73 Never forget your anniversary. (and who am i married to?)
74 Eat prunes.
75 Ride a bike.
76 Choose a charity in your community and support it generously with your time and money
...
and the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
I gave up on it at about 266 i only read it because i was immensly bored.
But i'll leave you with one momentous one i just flicked open on
459 Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. (i know i know the irony is killing me)
So i thought i'd show you guys to get a laugh out of it.
agree with any of them, want some more?
I got this as a Christmas present from my Granny for last year, now fair enough it's the thought that counts, and it's nice she remembers me and get's me a present.
So this is more a critique of the sheer poor content, so without further ado...
From the book de shit
1 Compliment three people every day
2 Have a dog
3 Watch the sunrise at least once a year
4 remember other people's birthdays
5 overtip breakfast waitresses
6 Have a firm handshake
7 look people in the eye
8 say thank you a lot
9 say please a lot
10 learn to play a musical instrument
11 sing in the shower
12 Use the good silver
13 Learn to make great chilli
14 plant flowers every spring
15 Own a great stereo system
16 be the first to say hello
17 live beneath your means
18 Drive inexpensive cars but own the best house you can afford
19 buy great books even if you never read them
20 Be forgiving of yourself and others
21 Learn clean jokes
22 Wear polished shoes
23 Floss your teeth
24 drink champagne for no reason at all
25 Ask for a raise when you feel you've earned it
26 if in a fight, hit first and hit hard (the sucker punch tactic is sure to piss off the other person)
27 Return all things you borrow
28 teach some kind of class
29 be a student in some kind of class
30 never buy a house without a fireplace
31 buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front gardens
32 once in your life own a convertible
33 Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
34 Learn to identify the music of Chopin, MOzart and Beethoven
35 Plant a tree on your birthday
36 Donate two pints of blood every year
37 Make new friends but cherish the old ones
38 Keep secrets
39 Take lots of snapshots
40 Never refuse homemade biscuits (???)
41 Don't postpone joy
42 Write thank you notes promptly
43 Never give up on anybody miracles happen every day (debatable actually)
44 show respect for teachers (depends who it is)
45 Show respect for police officers and firefighters
46 Show respect to military personnel
47 Don't waste time learning the 'tricks of the trade'. Instead learn the trade.
48 Keep a tight rein on your temper
49 Buy vegetables from farmers who advertise with hand-lettered signs
50 Put the cap back on the toothpaste
51 take out the rubbish without having to be told
52 Avoid over-exposure to the sun
53 Vote
54 Surprise loved ones with little unexpected gifts.
55 Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
56 Never mention being on a diet (why???)
57 make the best of bad situations (well duh)
58 Always accept an outstretched hand
59 Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity they think of you. (what if i don't want to have children?)
60 Admit your mistakes (NEVER!)
61 Ask someone to pick up your mail and daily paper when you're out of town. Those are the fist two things potential burglars look for.
62 Use your partner to amuse not abuse
63 Remember that all news is biased.
64 Take a photography course. (what? why?)
65 Let people pull in front of you when you're stopped in traffic.
66 Support a school orchestra or band. (how's about no?)
67 Demand excellence and be willing to pay for it.
68 Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
69 Whistle (no it's irritating)
70 hug children after you discipline them. (even when they aren't my own?)
71 learn to make something beautiful with your hands. (..must resist obvious joke...)
72 Give charity all the clothes you haven't worn for three years.
73 Never forget your anniversary. (and who am i married to?)
74 Eat prunes.
75 Ride a bike.
76 Choose a charity in your community and support it generously with your time and money
...
and the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
I gave up on it at about 266 i only read it because i was immensly bored.
But i'll leave you with one momentous one i just flicked open on
459 Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. (i know i know the irony is killing me)
So i thought i'd show you guys to get a laugh out of it.
agree with any of them, want some more?