NationStates Jolt Archive

So I’m watching (well, listening to, really) Fox News this morning while I tidy up my apartment. They’re talking about recent Supreme Court decisions, and they mentioned something that caught my ear: Apparently, there has been a landmark medical malpractice decision handed down in this country.

According to the commentators, there was this guy down in Alabama admitted to the hospital and scheduled to have his left leg amputated. They didn’t say why he was getting his hoof lopped off; it was a 45 second fill-in on their way to another story, so they didn’t really make with the details. Anyways, while this guy is in the hospital, the hospital staff gets his paperwork mixed up, and the surgeon ends up amputating the wrong leg (which, ironically, is the right leg). Well, after this is discovered, well the original leg still has to go, so they amputate that one too. The patient involved is, understandably, a bit peeved and sues the surgeon, and the hospital, and the manufacturers of the saws, and really, anybody else he can think of. The hospital fights it, and the case goes all the way to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court deliberates, and hands down the aforementioned landmark ruling that the medical staff is, in fact, not at fault.

In their ruling opinions, Justices Scalia, Thomas, and Roberts defended their ruling and described how they really were forced to rule for the defendants, despite the unfortunate and tragic circumstances, because the plaintiff, well, it seems that poor guy just didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Thats seriously wrong. The surgeon may not be at fault, but the fact remains that someone is at fault for messing up the paperwork, meaning the Hospital, the body who employed the unknown person who messed the paperwork up and earned the poor man the handle "Torso Boy" should be held repsonsible.

Legally, he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Can't find it online. Joke? or Source?

Can't find it online. Joke? or Source?

Either that or he needed a better lawyer to give him a leg up.

It's a joke --- note the last sentence.

It's a joke --- note the last sentence.

I realised that eventually, thats why I have been trying to kick this thread into gear with some puns.

Either that or he needed a better lawyer to give him a leg up.

Yeah, I guess the opposition was head-and-shoulders above him.

Yeah, I guess the opposition was head-and-shoulders above him.

They had a running start.

They had a running start.


He just started off on the wrong foot.

He just started off on the wrong foot.

He might have been able to get a settlement if he wouldn't have let them drag him kicking and screaming into court.

He might have been able to get a settlement if he wouldn't have let them drag him kicking and screaming into court.

You have to cut the guy a little slack, though. I think any one of us, after emerging from that kind of trauma, might be excused for being half the man we had been.

The lawyer's fees cost him an arm and a leg.

We demand more puns per sentence.

The lawyer's fees cost him an arm and a leg.

Well, you have to know a lawyer is always going to take his pound of flesh.

Legally, he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

But he could get a new job stumping for a politician.

I can't think of any puns. I'm stumped. :(

I can't think of any puns. I'm stumped. :(

He could always find work as Leg-a-les in the next Lord of the Rings.

Maybe the lawyers took it all the way to the Supreme Court because they felt they were doing it for the little guy, giving him the chance to stand and be counted, like.

He could always find work as Leg-a-les in the next Lord of the Rings.

You have to be careful, though, you know what Hollywood is like, they'll praise you to the skies one moment, and cut the legs out from under you the next.

This had to be a joke. If this actually happened, the hospital in question would be successfully sued into oblivion.

See...this is why they use a sharpie to write "Not this one" on the good limb.

Well, you have to know a lawyer is always going to take his pound of flesh.

And the surgeon takes about thirty.

I doubt he lost his suit to the doctors, he probably just gave it to them after he realised it was over-endowed in the pants leg department.

We demand more puns per sentence.
Well, you could do something to help us get the show running. We're the ones doing all the leg-work here, and I, for one, am panting with exhaustion.

If I was that guy, I would kick the surgeon in th.. oh wait. Well I guess life would be too pointless, and I'd have to jump off a br.. FUUUUUUU

A trauma like that, he'd probably become reclusive, and lose touch with half the people he knew before. That's not the way to handle it, though. I tell you what, the last thing you want to do is cut yourself off.

A trauma like that, he'd probably become reclusive, and lose touch with half the people he knew before. That's not the way to handle it, though. I tell you what, the last thing you want to do is cut yourself off.

Bad pun... damn it... but I can't stop laughing. Bad girl!

Bad pun... damn it... but I can't stop laughing. Bad girl!

Take a deep breath, have a seat and prop your feet up.

Take a deep breath, have a seat and prop your feet up.

Or break a leg.

well.. he's no longer Hopping mad about the whole deal. at least he can't kick himself in the pants for the attempt.

but he defenately came up short on his legal battles.

This had to be a joke. If this actually happened, the hospital in question would be successfully sued into oblivion.
I remember reading a serious article about a doc who lost his licence to practice.

His patient had a knee problem that needed surgery. he operated on the wrong knee. After the hospital settled. they started marking the good leg with "not this one" and he still operated on the wrong leg. after settling that... the hospital implemented a new procedure. "Not this one" in red and "THIS ONE" in blue. and guess what...

the Hospital found it cost effective to terminate that doc's contract than to let him near another patient... :rolleyes:

He'll always have a job at a carnival :D

FOX really went out on a limb with this story.

Well, it was certainly an incomplete story. It only had maybe half the data it needed.

As Fox indicated: The courts ruling was quite fair. The man is now balanced.

He's trying to get his lawyers disbarred now, He claims for all the good they did, he might as well have been represented by a couple of empty suits

He'll always have a job at a carnival :D
"We accept him! We accept him! One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! One of us! One of us!"
Of course, he's still got one eye too many to be the human chicken . . .

"We accept him! We accept him! One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! One of us! One of us!"
Of course, he's still got one eye too many to be the human chicken . . .

Tod Browning...one of his best movies. Of course, it did have the inconvienent side effect of putting a major damper on his career.