NationStates Jolt Archive

Santa, it is time to call you out for your evil ways! No longer will the truth be hidden! You are not just a fat and jolly man who delivers presents to the children of the world, no you are much more than that! You are a man of exceeding cruelty, vicious practices, and an animal abuser, not to mention a law breaker!

Santa's toy factory does not meet the emission standards set by the UN! Its safety measures are abysmal, every year hundreds of elves injure themselves making toys under Mr. Clause's management. Toy making in the North Pole is Non-Union labor; his workers are forced to be merry or they don't get their daily ration of cookies and eggnog, which is the only form of payment they receive. Elves work brutal 48 hours shifts with only a single 5 minute bathroom break every 12 hours, if they are late getting back from the break, then one of their children misses a meal.
Come on Santa! Elves are people too, they deserve fair wages, decent living conditions, and a health plan!

Santa's Reindeer are also victims of his seemingly endless cruelty, they are kept in pens year 'round and fed only the most meager amount of food, just barely enough to keep them alive, and then every year they are taken from their prisons and forced to pull a sleigh big enough to carry presents for every child on the face of the planet; and if that wasn't enough; he whips them if they lag behind. Santa keeps an exacting schedule and forces those poor animals to not only fly (something ordinarily contrary to their nature) around the world he forces them to do it in a period of 24 hours! He doesn't even have a license to keep an endangered species! Mr. Kringle, does your viciousness know no bounds?!

Its time Santa, its time that the whole world knew who you really are! Your a sick and perverted man who forces the poor little elves, and the poor little reindeer to do your twisted deeds. And on top of it all, you never once answered for any of millions of breaking and entering crimes that you perpetrate every year! Shame on you Santa!

I bet you wish you brought me that bee-bee gun now!



Who's with me? Lets expose this bastard for who he really is NSG!

Santa, it is time to call you out for your evil ways! No longer will the truth be hidden! You are not just a fat and jolly man who delivers presents to the children of the world, no you are much more than that! You are a man of exceeding cruelty, vicious practices, and an animal abuser, not to mention a law breaker!

Santa's toy factory does not meet the emission standards set by the UN! Its safety measures are abysmal, every year hundreds of elves injure themselves making toys under Mr. Clause's management. Toy making in the North Pole is Non-Union labor; his workers are forced to be merry or they don't get their daily ration of cookies and eggnog, which is the only form of payment they receive. Elves work brutal 48 hours shifts with only a single 5 minute bathroom break every 12 hours, if they are late getting back from the break, then one of their children misses a meal.
Come on Santa! Elves are people too, they deserve fair wages, decent living conditions, and a health plan!

Santa's Reindeer are also victims of his seemingly endless cruelty, they are kept in pens year 'round and fed only the most meager amount of food, just barely enough to keep them alive, and then every year they are taken from their prisons and forced to pull a sleigh big enough to carry presents for every child on the face of the planet; and if that wasn't enough; he whips them if they lag behind. Santa keeps an exacting schedule and forces those poor animals to not only fly (something ordinarily contrary to their nature) around the world he forces them to do it in a period of 24 hours! He doesn't even have a license to keep an endangered species! Mr. Kringle, does your viciousness know no bounds?!

Its time Santa, its time that the whole world knew who you really are! Your a sick and perverted man who forces the poor little elves, and the poor little reindeer to do your twisted deeds. And on top of it all, you never once answered for any of millions of breaking and entering crimes that you perpetrate every year! Shame on you Santa!

I bet you wish you brought me that bee-bee gun now!



Who's with me? Lets expose this bastard for who he really is NSG!


Oi, thats my dad your talking about!:mad:

Oi, thats my dad your talking about!:mad:

Ten you of all people should know how nasty he is when he's had too much eggnog!

Ten you of all people should know how nasty he is when he's had too much eggnog!

Umm yes, yes I do!:$

Ten you of all people should know how nasty he is when he's had too much eggnog!

Oh, don't we know it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-Mce9VpmY).

Let us do it!!!

Not to mention the six to eight black men who work for him, beating children and stuffing them in sacks to take them away to slavery in Spain.

Not to mention the six to eight black men who work for him, beating children and stuffing them in sacks to take them away to slavery in Spain.

Shut that filthy mouth, Kimchi.:mad:

Shut that filthy mouth, Kimchi.:mad:

I didn't make that up - it's a Dutch tradition.

I didn't make that up - it's a Dutch tradition.

According to Dr. Evil, the Dutch are... well... evil. Never believe what they say! Never!:eek2:

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/images/070430.jpg
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=233

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/christmas_back_home.png

This is when we strike.

http://cidutest.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/gasoline-santa.gif
Or when we spread lies to make brats cry. :eek:

I've always thought this, my suspicions were confirmed when I saw the evil demonic cg santa from the Coke ads. That's a scary beast.

Just called my wife, to check up on her ill health, and make sure that she is going to be alright while I'm out at the dept crimbo do tonight. She tells me that she is planning on watching 'Bad Santa' tonight because it reminds her of me!

I protested that my hard drinkin' and hard womanising days are far behind me. *shrug* that wasn't what she had in mind, it's the bit when he has passed out whilst traveling up the escelator that reminds her of me, apparently!

It's time to build a Robot Santa ;)

It's time to build a Robot Santa ;)

Nothing could possibly go wrong!

Nothing could possibly go wrong!

As long as you don't give him TOW-2 missiles.

As long as you don't give him TOW-2 missiles.

I won't give him anything. He can help stimulate the economy and buy his own TOW-2 missiles.

Not to mention the six to eight black men who work for him, beating children and stuffing them in sacks to take them away to slavery in Spain.
Yeah, except that it's complete bollocks.

There are more of them, they are not black, just dirty because they come throught the chimney, they don't beat children (like, how do you think of that?), and they only take the children who have been naughty to Spain. Though that's not really a punishment I guess.

edit: And it's not even Santa.

Yeah, except that it's complete bollocks.

There are more of them, they are not black, just dirty because they come throught the chimney, they don't beat children (like, how do you think of that?), and they only take the children who have been naughty to Spain. Though that's not really a punishment I guess.

edit: And it's not even Santa.

It is not a punishment. Those kids, in fact, are given sweets and kisses by smexy Spanish girls with dark hair and witchy eyes.

It is not a punishment. Those kids, in fact, are given sweets and kisses by smexy Spanish girls with dark hair and witchy eyes.
Did I ever say I want you?:fluffle:

Did I ever say I want you?:fluffle:

Wanth me, baby, wanth me.:fluffle:

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/images/070430.jpg
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=233

Dr. Pepper, right out my nose. I blame you sir.

Wanth me, baby, wanth me.:fluffle:
I want you.:fluffle:

I want you.:fluffle:

Are you going to ask Santa to bring you your own, personal Nanatsu?:fluffle:

Santa, it is time to call you out for your evil ways! No longer will the truth be hidden! You are not just a fat and jolly man who delivers presents to the children of the world, no you are much more than that! You are a man of exceeding cruelty, vicious practices, and an animal abuser, not to mention a law breaker!

Santa's toy factory does not meet the emission standards set by the UN! Its safety measures are abysmal, every year hundreds of elves injure themselves making toys under Mr. Clause's management. Toy making in the North Pole is Non-Union labor; his workers are forced to be merry or they don't get their daily ration of cookies and eggnog, which is the only form of payment they receive. Elves work brutal 48 hours shifts with only a single 5 minute bathroom break every 12 hours, if they are late getting back from the break, then one of their children misses a meal.
Come on Santa! Elves are people too, they deserve fair wages, decent living conditions, and a health plan!

Santa's Reindeer are also victims of his seemingly endless cruelty, they are kept in pens year 'round and fed only the most meager amount of food, just barely enough to keep them alive, and then every year they are taken from their prisons and forced to pull a sleigh big enough to carry presents for every child on the face of the planet; and if that wasn't enough; he whips them if they lag behind. Santa keeps an exacting schedule and forces those poor animals to not only fly (something ordinarily contrary to their nature) around the world he forces them to do it in a period of 24 hours! He doesn't even have a license to keep an endangered species! Mr. Kringle, does your viciousness know no bounds?!

Its time Santa, its time that the whole world knew who you really are! Your a sick and perverted man who forces the poor little elves, and the poor little reindeer to do your twisted deeds. And on top of it all, you never once answered for any of millions of breaking and entering crimes that you perpetrate every year! Shame on you Santa!

I bet you wish you brought me that bee-bee gun now!



Who's with me? Lets expose this bastard for who he really is NSG!

I must say, well done. I lolled.

Are you going to ask Santa to bring you your own, personal Nanatsu?:fluffle:No, because we don't celebrate that, we have Sinterklaas and that's on December fifth.:p

Maybe I can order one on the interwebs.:fluffle:

No, because we don't celebrate that, we have Sinterklaas and that's on December fifth.:p

Maybe I can order one on the interwebs.:fluffle:

Amazon.com has the right to sale and distribution.

It is not a punishment. Those kids, in fact, are given sweets and kisses by smexy Spanish girls with dark hair and witchy eyes.

*wishes he had been one of those children*

Amazon.com has the right to sale and distribution.
Get your very own personal 'Nanatsu no Tsuki' for only $17.99.
Excluding: Shipping costs


:tongue:

Yeah, except that it's complete bollocks.

There are more of them, they are not black, just dirty because they come throught the chimney, they don't beat children (like, how do you think of that?), and they only take the children who have been naughty to Spain. Though that's not really a punishment I guess.

edit: And it's not even Santa.
so given that st nick takes bad children to spain....

do dutch people grow up with a deepseated fear of spain?

Santa's toy factory does not meet the emission standards set by the UN!
0 emissions since forever....
Its safety measures are abysmal, every year hundreds of elves injure themselves making toys under Mr. Clause's management.
0 reported incidents.....
Toy making in the North Pole is Non-Union labor;
The elf union is clearly very powerful. Why do you think Santa hasn't hired any humans? The elves will go on strike.
his workers are forced to be merry or they don't get their daily ration of cookies and eggnog, which is the only form of payment they receive. Elves work brutal 48 hours shifts with only a single 5 minute bathroom break every 12 hours, if they are late getting back from the break, then one of their children misses a meal.
Pfft, baseless accusations.
Come on Santa! Elves are people too, they deserve fair wages, decent living conditions, and a health plan!
Not they aren't....

Santa's Reindeer are also victims of his seemingly endless cruelty, they are kept in pens year 'round and fed only the most meager amount of food, just barely enough to keep them alive,
If they can fly around the whole planet making hundreds of thousands of stops then they're clearly the healthiest animals in the history of existence and then every year they are taken from their prisons and forced to pull a sleigh big enough to carry presents for every child on the face of the planet;
Exactly. Very healthy.
and if that wasn't enough; he whips them if they lag behind. Santa keeps an exacting schedule and forces those poor animals to not only fly (something ordinarily contrary to their nature) around the world he forces them to do it in a period of 24 hours! He doesn't even have a license to keep an endangered species! Mr. Kringle, does your viciousness know no bounds?!
Are reindeer actually endangered? Besides, using magic isn't cruel, otherwise we'd have to start locking up wiccans left right and centre.

Its time Santa, its time that the whole world knew who you really are! Your a sick and perverted man who forces the poor little elves, and the poor little reindeer to do your twisted deeds. And on top of it all, you never once answered for any of millions of breaking and entering crimes that you perpetrate every year! Shame on you Santa!
People leave milk and cookies out for him? How much more of an invitation does a man need?

so given that st nick takes bad children to spain....

do dutch people grow up with a deepseated fear of spain?Only those who have been bad in their younger years.:tongue:

Get your very own personal 'Nanatsu no Tsuki' for only $17.99.
Excluding: Shipping costs


:tongue:

The shipping and handling costs involve wine and sex. *nod*:tongue:

*wishes he had been one of those children*

You still can be. Children come in as many flavors and ages as ice cream does.

so given that st nick takes bad children to spain....

do dutch people grow up with a deepseated fear of spain?

Considering it is a recurring theme in the Dutch Sesamestreet that certain characters try to sneak into the sack because they WANT to go to Spain - probably not ;)

Considering it is a recurring theme in the Dutch Sesamestreet that certain characters try to sneak into the sack because they WANT to go to Spain - probably not ;)

Plaza Sésamo!!! Woohoo!!!:D

The shipping and handling costs involve wine and sex. *nod*:tongue::eek::hail:

I want.:tongue:

let me get this straight.

you have an old man,
who admits to watching children to see who is naughty and nice,
who has children converse with him privately telling him their wants and needs,
he visits their home late at night bringing presents,
he snacks on the kids cookies and milk,
he doesn't want anyone watching HIM,
and this is considered acceptable?

if anyone else tried this they are arrested!!!

let me get this straight.

you have an old man,
who admits to watching children to see who is naughty and nice,
who has children converse with him privately telling him their wants and needs,
he visits their home late at night bringing presents,
he snacks on the kids cookies and milk,
he doesn't want anyone watching HIM,
and this is considered acceptable?

if anyone else tried this they are arrested!!!

Have you seen Santa lately? I doubt he's capable of molesting himself, never mind anyone else.

:eek::hail:

I want.:tongue:

With red Santa outfit or leather Kitty-girl outfit?:D

I hear Santa has to drink 946 glasses of sherry per second over christmas, i say this man is too drunk to drive a sliegh.
I suggest we have LG to replace him.

With red Santa outfit or leather Kitty-girl outfit?:D
:hail:
I vote for a Kitty Girl Santa outfit!

Santa Claus,
He spells his name like that to trick us: Santa Claus=Satan Claws
DEATH TO HIM!

Santa Claus,
He spells his name like that to trick us: Santa Claus=Satan Claws
DEATH TO HIM!

sure it's not Satan's Clause?

Satan's Lawyer?

one wonders what the true price of all those gifts are...

:hail:
I vote for a Kitty Girl Santa outfit!

I can go on saying Nya Nya Nya, instead of Ho ho ho.:D

You still can be. Children come in as many flavors and ages as ice cream does.
So you're the one who has been wandering from town to town licking the children! Well, I suppose there is nothing strictly wrong with that, but could you please, please, please stop covering them in cinnamon and chocolate sauce?
sure it's not Satan's Clause?

Satan's Lawyer?

one wonders what the true price of all those gifts are...
Perhaps it is a metaphor for the way that all Westerners are made complicit in the corporate exploitation of third world resources?

So you're the one who has been wandering from town to town tasting the children! Well, I suppose there is nothing strictly wrong with that, but could you please, please, please stop covering them in cinnamon and chocolate sauce?

I can agree on not using cinammon, but do not take away my chocolate!:mad:

If you do, I'll eat ya, Fiddy. Mmmm... chocolate covered Fiddy.:fluffle:

let me get this straight.

you have an old man,
who admits to watching children to see who is naughty and nice,
who has children converse with him privately telling him their wants and needs,
he visits their home late at night bringing presents,
he snacks on the kids cookies and milk,
he doesn't want anyone watching HIM,
and this is considered acceptable?

if anyone else tried this they are arrested!!!

What's wrong with that? The children were asking for it.

I can go on saying Nya Nya Nya, instead of Ho ho ho.:D why not?
:tongue:

With red Santa outfit or leather Kitty-girl outfit?:D
Leather red Santa outfit.:fluffle:

why not?
:tongue:

I like your adventurous streak, hon.:fluffle:

Leather red Santa outfit.:fluffle:

With spiky black belt and pointy, knee-high boots?:fluffle:

With spiky black belt and pointy, knee-high boots?:fluffle:
Mmmmmmy... it's getting warm over here... :D

Mmmmmmy... it's getting warm over here... :D

Then I will sing The Jiggle Bell Rock to you, and purr.:fluffle:

Then I will sing The Jiggle Bell Rock to you, and purr.:fluffle:

must...
take...
cold...
shower...
now...

Not only does he not obey even the letter of the law, but he's a known player! How many happily married women has he kissed under the mistletoe? I also suspect pedophilia - look at all the children he has sitting on his lap during the Christmas Season - and in public, too!

must...
take...
cold...
shower...
now...

May I join you?

May I join you?

I don't think that'd help. :D

I don't think that'd help. :D

Who says I want to help?
Besides, I'll be wearing this:
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j244/chrisdylan/XMAS/Sexy_Santa_girl_13.jpg

Who says I want to help?

Teh Ebil! :eek:

May I join you?
But of Course M'dear.
I don't think that'd help. :D
Shush you!
:p

Who says I want to help?
Besides, I'll be wearing this:
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j244/chrisdylan/XMAS/Sexy_Santa_girl_13.jpg

Dear Santa...

I've been really, REALLY naughty this year...

Who says I want to help?
Besides, I'll be wearing this:
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j244/chrisdylan/XMAS/Sexy_Santa_girl_13.jpg

Suddenly Christmas got a whole lot better.

*Sees picture*

*Thinks of Nanatsu in it*

*Pitches a tent* :D

Dear Santa...

I've been really, REALLY naughty this year...

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Mrs. Santa will offer you...
1 spank
2 pokes
3 belly rubs
4 boob rubs
5 butt shakes
6 hip gyrations
7 dirty talkings
8 chocolate dipped nipples
9 fellatios
10 moans
11 groans
12 satisfactions guarantees!!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Mrs. Santa will offer you...
1 spank
2 pokes
3 belly rubs
4 boob rubs
5 butt shakes
6 hip gyrations
7 dirty talkings
8 chocolate dipped nipples
9 fellatios
10 moans
11 groans
12 satisfactions guarantees!!

Things have indeed got interesting. *buys plane ticket to Spain*

Wahahaha The war on christmas has begun!

8 chocolate dipped nipples
You have 8 nipples? (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_nipples_do_dogs_have)

Things have indeed got interesting. *buys plane ticket to Spain*

Ding, Londim's here
Ding, Londim's here
I gotta rub
I gotta rub
I gotta rub
Would you like some sucks with that
Would you like some sucks with that...

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Mrs. Santa will offer you...
1 spank
2 pokes
3 belly rubs
4 boob rubs
5 butt shakes
6 hip gyrations
7 dirty talkings
8 chocolate dipped nipples
9 fellatios
10 moans
11 groans
12 satisfactions guarantees!!Things have indeed got interesting. *buys plane ticket to Spain*
Oh no you don'!

*Buys plane ticket to Hawaii and sends that to Spain.*

O.o

You have 8 nipples? (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_nipples_do_dogs_have)

No Fiddy. I do not. I used incorrect syntax.:tongue:

Ding, Londim's here
Ding, Londim's here
I gotta rub
I gotta rub
I gotta rub
Would you like some sucks with that
Would you like some sucks with that...

:hail:

You have 8 nipples? (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_nipples_do_dogs_have)

I'd settle for two Nanatsu's nipples dipped 4 times.

No Fiddy. I do not. I used incorrect syntax.:tongue:
You used incorrect syntax? FREAK! MONSTER! ABOMINATION!!

I'd settle for two Nanatsu's nipples dipped 4 times.

Erm, what is this burning a hole in my trousers?

You used incorrect syntax? FREAK! MONSTER! ABOMINATION!!

But I can still dip my nipples in chocolate if you want...:D

Erm, what is this burning a hole in my trousers?

Herpes.. maybe?

:hail:

You see, Spanish girls are more fun.:D

Herpes.. maybe?

Erm no, never had that. :p

Erm no, never had that. :p

Maybe you got a bladder infection...

You see, Spanish girls are more fun.:D

I think I know where I'm going for my holidays or maybe my 21st.

I think I know where I'm going for my holidays or maybe my 21st.

Come to Spain. You'll get all the fun in the world.

Erm no, never had that. :p
Gonorrhea, then?

Maybe you got a bladder infection...

Why do you keep suggesting I have an infection? Clean bill of health my dear Nanatsu. ;)

Why do you keep suggesting I have an infection? Clean bill of health my dear Nanatsu. ;)

Well, it's Christmas.
Tis the season to give!! *nod*

Well, it's Christmas.
Tis the season to give!! *nod*

Give STD's? O.o

Give STD's? O.o

LMAO! Why do you pay attention to me?:fluffle:

Erm, what is this burning a hole in my trousers? the cig you dropped on your lap when your mouth opened?

Come to Spain. You'll get all the fun in the world.

I will never forgive my friend. Last year we were supposedly going on holiday to Spain via a cruise. The cruise was alright, got to Spain, found out we had only 2 hours there before the ship left to return to England. It is now why I have been put in charge of holidays.

the cig you dropped on your lap when your mouth opened?

I'm sure it's all that fapping. *nod*

I will never forgive my friend. Last year we were supposedly going on holiday to Spain via a cruise. The cruise was alright, got to Spain, found out we had only 2 hours there before the ship left to return to England. It is now why I have been put in charge of holidays.

For Winter, go to Southern Spain. Spring and Summer are good for Northern Spain.

LMAO! Why do you pay attention to me?:fluffle:

Too much free time. :D

Well, it's Christmas.
Tis the season to give!! *nod*

Hehehehe (http://www.lyricsdepot.com/monty-python/medical-love-song.html)

the cig you dropped on your lap when your mouth opened?

Not a smoker, my friend. ;)

Hehehehe (http://www.lyricsdepot.com/monty-python/medical-love-song.html)

:fluffle:

I'm sure it's all that fapping. *nod*

burning a hole in his pants?

Spain in summer sounds like a plan. Now all I need is a job to fund this. Wait...the economy is fucked, no one is hiring...balls.

burning a hole in his pants?

That fapping hand must be on fire!!!

Spain in summer sounds like a plan. Now all I need is a job to fund this. Wait...the economy is fucked, no one is hiring...balls.

Travel between Spain and England is one of the cheapest in the world. And you don't need to spend too much if you stay in a hostel or in the house of someone you know. :wink:

That fapping hand must be on fire!!!

*Dips in ice*

Ahhhh...

Travel between Spain and England is one of the cheapest in the world. And you don't need to spend too much if you stay in a hostel or in the house of someone you know. :wink:

*assumes this is an invitation*

Too late. No turning back now!

Spain in summer sounds like a plan. Now all I need is a job to fund this. Wait...the economy is fucked, no one is hiring...balls.

Get a job on a Cruise line?

That fapping hand must be on fire!!!

hate to imagine the chaffing... :eek:

Don't worry comrades, I'm starting an uprising against Santa with Bear Cavalry

Thank you Zanzibar Land for getting things back on topic...

Wow... I seriously thought I was gonna puke. That's the LAST time I continue to lurk after I see the words "...sweets and kisses from smexy Spanish girls..."

...

Anyways, yeah, I think it's time for fat boy to go down. I say we just nuke the North Pole... heh-heh-heh... it's the fastest solution... heh-heh.

Thank you Zanzibar Land for getting things back on topic...

Wow... I seriously thought I was gonna puke. That's the LAST time I continue to lurk after I see the words "...sweets and kisses from smexy Spanish girls..."

...

Anyways, yeah, I think it's time for fat boy to go down. I say we just nuke the North Pole... heh-heh-heh... it's the fastest solution... heh-heh.

Well then...don't click here... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=572866)

Santa, it is time to call you out for your evil ways! *snip*
Coal again last year?

Hasn't Christopher Hitchens already written a book about this?

*assumes this is an invitation*

Too late. No turning back now!

And what if it is?:wink:

Merry Christmas for me?:D

hate to imagine the chaffing... :eek:

And the quantity of cream that will be used for said chaffing...:eek2:

Thank you Zanzibar Land for getting things back on topic...

Wow... I seriously thought I was gonna puke. That's the LAST time I continue to lurk after I see the words "...sweets and kisses from smexy Spanish girls..."

...

Anyways, yeah, I think it's time for fat boy to go down. I say we just nuke the North Pole... heh-heh-heh... it's the fastest solution... heh-heh.

You don't need to lurk. If you don't like what's been discussed on a thread, stop reading it and get the heck out of it. As simple as that. I'm sure you know that and you also know click on the buttons. Oh, and there's a handy Ignore function, in case you need to puke.:rolleyes:

Coal again last year?

No, he didn't give me my Bee-Bee Gun.


I seriously regret going to bed after posting this :( I missed all the sexyness.

Santa all I was for Xmas is an Illinois Senate seat.

Santa, it is time to call you out for your evil ways! No longer will the truth be hidden! You are not just a fat and jolly man who delivers presents to the children of the world, no you are much more than that! You are a man of exceeding cruelty, vicious practices, and an animal abuser, not to mention a law breaker!

Santa's toy factory does not meet the emission standards set by the UN! Its safety measures are abysmal, every year hundreds of elves injure themselves making toys under Mr. Clause's management. Toy making in the North Pole is Non-Union labor; his workers are forced to be merry or they don't get their daily ration of cookies and eggnog, which is the only form of payment they receive. Elves work brutal 48 hours shifts with only a single 5 minute bathroom break every 12 hours, if they are late getting back from the break, then one of their children misses a meal.
Come on Santa! Elves are people too, they deserve fair wages, decent living conditions, and a health plan!

Santa's Reindeer are also victims of his seemingly endless cruelty, they are kept in pens year 'round and fed only the most meager amount of food, just barely enough to keep them alive, and then every year they are taken from their prisons and forced to pull a sleigh big enough to carry presents for every child on the face of the planet; and if that wasn't enough; he whips them if they lag behind. Santa keeps an exacting schedule and forces those poor animals to not only fly (something ordinarily contrary to their nature) around the world he forces them to do it in a period of 24 hours! He doesn't even have a license to keep an endangered species! Mr. Kringle, does your viciousness know no bounds?!

Its time Santa, its time that the whole world knew who you really are! Your a sick and perverted man who forces the poor little elves, and the poor little reindeer to do your twisted deeds. And on top of it all, you never once answered for any of millions of breaking and entering crimes that you perpetrate every year! Shame on you Santa!

I bet you wish you brought me that bee-bee gun now!



Who's with me? Lets expose this bastard for who he really is NSG!


do i smell a tactical assault on santa's workshop?

No, he didn't give me my Bee-Bee Gun.


I seriously regret going to bed after posting this :( I missed all the sexyness.

What matters is that you're here now, B-tan.:fluffle:

What matters is that you're here now, B-tan.:fluffle:

Am I?

Am I?

I believe so. :p

I believe so. :p

I wasn't sure... but I still missed all the sexy. I always miss the sexy... like the Halloween costume. *feels cheated*

I wasn't sure... but I still missed all the sexy. I always miss the sexy... like the Halloween costume. *feels cheated*

You know I still haven't send those pics (the Halloween ones), right? You really have not missed anything.:wink:

You know I still haven't send those pics (the Halloween ones), right? You really have not missed anything.:wink:

Well then I feel less cheated.

Well then I feel less cheated.

They're still on the cam. And I took the inicitive of only sending them to those who ask for the links when I upload them into my Photobucket. When they're ready, I'll let you know. :)

They're still on the cam. And I took the inicitive of only sending them to those who ask for the links when I upload them into my Photobucket. When they're ready, I'll let you know. :)

I'm one of those guys that's too polite to ask.

Too nice for my own good I guess.

I'm one of those guys that's too polite to ask.

Too nice for my own good I guess.

;)
It's ok.

;)
It's ok.

I don't go around asking "Can I see you naked?" It just don't happen.
However if someone asks "Do you want to see me naked?" its "Hell friggin yeah!"

Ok, not quite like that...

I don't go around asking "Can I see you naked?" It just don't happen.
However if someone asks "Do you want to see me naked?" its "Hell friggin yeah!"

Ok, not quite like that...

Well, I'm not naked on the pics. I'm just wearing a Halloween costume.:wink:

Well, I'm not naked on the pics. I'm just wearing a Halloween costume.:wink:

Oh I know, it was just an example. I still think you should dress as Venus (Aphrodite) next year. I'll help you come up with the costume, it will be sweet!

Well, I'm not naked on the pics. I'm just wearing a Halloween costume.:wink:Can we see it?:p

Can we see it?:p

If you want to see them, let me know and I'll PM you the links when they're uploaded.

Oh I know, it was just an example. I still think you should dress as Venus (Aphrodite) next year. I'll help you come up with the costume, it will be sweet!

I don't think there's much of a costume involved there, but ok. We can brainstorm and come up with an amazing design for me as Aphrodite next year. :p

If you want to see them, let me know and I'll PM you the links when they're uploaded.*let's Nanatsu know*


I don't think there's much of a costume involved there, but ok. We can brainstorm and come up with an amazing design for me as Aphrodite next year. :p:hail: It would be awesome, whatever it will be.

*let's Nanatsu know*


:hail: It would be awesome, whatever it will be.

Hehehe! We'll see.

And what if it is?:wink:

Merry Christmas for me?:D

Merry Christmas for both of us I feel. ;)

If you want to see them, let me know and I'll PM you the links when they're uploaded.



I don't think there's much of a costume involved there, but ok. We can brainstorm and come up with an amazing design for me as Aphrodite next year. :p

PM please...

PM please...

I need to make a list of all the people that wish to see those pics.
-JuNii
-SaintB
-Londim
-Vampire Knight Zero
-Blouman Empire
-Nodinia
-Galloism
-HC Eredivisie
So far those are the ones who've asked for links when I upload them.:D

Merry Christmas for both of us I feel. ;)

Indeed it is. :D

I need to make a list of all the people that wish to see those pics.
-JuNii
-SaintB
-Londim
-Vampire Knight Zero
-Blouman Empire
-Nodinia
-Galloism

So far those are the ones who've asked for links when I upload them.:D
Me too, pullease:hail:

I need to make a list of all the people that wish to see those pics.
-JuNii
-SaintB
-Londim
-Vampire Knight Zero
-Blouman Empire
-Nodinia
-Galloism
-HC Eredivisie
So far those are the ones who've asked for links when I upload them.:D

Fixed, HC. ;)

I don't think there's much of a costume involved there, but ok. We can brainstorm and come up with an amazing design for me as Aphrodite next year. :p

Aphrodite... also known as Venus... will you be standing on the seashell? :p

Aphrodite... also known as Venus... will you be standing on the seashell? :p

Yes, and perhaps I should grow my hair longer so that I cover myself with nothing else but it.:D

I need to make a list of all the people that wish to see those pics.
-JuNii
-SaintB
-Londim
-Vampire Knight Zero
-Blouman Empire
-Nodinia
-Galloism
-HC Eredivisie
So far those are the ones who've asked for links when I upload them.:D

Any possibility I could be on that list? Even though I'm 14?

I need to make a list of all the people that wish to see those pics.
-JuNii
-SaintB
-Londim
-Vampire Knight Zero
-Blouman Empire
-Nodinia
-Galloism
-HC Eredivisie
So far those are the ones who've asked for links when I upload them.:D

Me too.

Me too.

Ok, Western Mercenary Unio and Adu-kun too.

I'm really quite confused. I suspect I'm missing another trend.

Good news comrades, we won a major victory today!

I'm really quite confused. I suspect I'm missing another trend.

Perhaps you need to catch up. This has to do with the Halloween costume thread.

Perhaps you need to catch up. This has to do with the Halloween costume thread.

That'd explain it.

That'd explain it.

Partly. The other part is because I was joking with Londim, HC and SaintB about dressing up in a sexy, Santa outfit.

Partly. The other part is because I was joking with Londim, HC and SaintB about dressing up in a sexy, Santa outfit.

And you of course sent them wild. :p

Santa Claus: an Engineering Analysis

1. No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has seen.

2. There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total, leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Asusming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth, which, of course, we know to be false, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept, we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, for a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, at tops 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more than a medium sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" can pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increased the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth - 5,353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized with 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force.

Stop picking on the guy! He's doing the best he can!

I need to make a list of all the people that wish to see those pics.
-JuNii
-SaintB
-Londim
-Vampire Knight Zero
-Blouman Empire
-Nodinia
-Galloism
-HC Eredivisie
So far those are the ones who've asked for links when I upload them.:D

*is curious about what is drawing such a crowd*

I know a few adult men who still believe in santa claus for real...

Stop picking on the guy! He's doing the best he can!

you need to post the WHOLE thing. including the last line
"so IF Santa is real, and he's dead now."

you need to post the WHOLE thing. including the last line
"so IF Santa is real, and he's dead now."

But that would take all the fun out of it.

BTW, saw this this morning:

http://www.savagechickens.com/images/chickenexposed.jpg

*is curious about what is drawing such a crowd*

My Halloween pics. *nods*

Santa, it is time to call you out for your evil ways! No longer will the truth be hidden! You are not just a fat and jolly man who delivers presents to the children of the world, no you are much more than that! You are a man of exceeding cruelty, vicious practices, and an animal abuser, not to mention a law breaker!

Santa's toy factory does not meet the emission standards set by the UN! Its safety measures are abysmal, every year hundreds of elves injure themselves making toys under Mr. Clause's management. Toy making in the North Pole is Non-Union labor; his workers are forced to be merry or they don't get their daily ration of cookies and eggnog, which is the only form of payment they receive. Elves work brutal 48 hours shifts with only a single 5 minute bathroom break every 12 hours, if they are late getting back from the break, then one of their children misses a meal.
Come on Santa! Elves are people too, they deserve fair wages, decent living conditions, and a health plan!

Santa's Reindeer are also victims of his seemingly endless cruelty, they are kept in pens year 'round and fed only the most meager amount of food, just barely enough to keep them alive, and then every year they are taken from their prisons and forced to pull a sleigh big enough to carry presents for every child on the face of the planet; and if that wasn't enough; he whips them if they lag behind. Santa keeps an exacting schedule and forces those poor animals to not only fly (something ordinarily contrary to their nature) around the world he forces them to do it in a period of 24 hours! He doesn't even have a license to keep an endangered species! Mr. Kringle, does your viciousness know no bounds?!

Its time Santa, its time that the whole world knew who you really are! Your a sick and perverted man who forces the poor little elves, and the poor little reindeer to do your twisted deeds. And on top of it all, you never once answered for any of millions of breaking and entering crimes that you perpetrate every year! Shame on you Santa!

I bet you wish you brought me that bee-bee gun now!



Who's with me? Lets expose this bastard for who he really is NSG!


replace the existing santa with a robot santa....it will never go evil on us.

My Halloween pics. *nods*

Heck, add me to the list.

Heck, add me to the list.

Acknowledged.