NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm just ridiculously unhappy about the way my life is going. Everything I do just seems pointless, boring, and futile.

I'm 16 and a freshman at college, just finishing my first semester. Being more or less incapable of any kind of social interaction (I'm painfully shy, to the point where I can barely answer if someone says hi) I haven't made any friends. I hung out exclusively with 3 people for the first two weeks before my awkwardness and boring personality became too obvious for them to tolerate. Now they barely acknowledge my presence when I walk past them in a hall, and I don't blame them. I mean, when we were eating lunch I'd just sit there silently staring into the middle distance.

It's obvious that I'm going to fail half of the classes I took – I deluded myself that I would just put in a little bit more effort next week, and before I knew it classes were over. With the finals being next week I don't have any chance at redeeming myself academically. Worse, my family is paying for my college, and I don't know how I'll explain things... “Sorry, but I'm lazy” just won't cut it.

I like to call myself a misanthropist, because then at least I can explain why it is that a consistent theme in my life is friendlessness and a fundamental inability to connect to other people. I somehow feel disgusted by humans – all the misery and pain we've ever inflicted on one another – and yet isolating myself only makes me feel worse.

I've never had a girlfriend – I could count how often I've kissed someone with the fingers of one hand. It's not like I don't want a girlfriend either, it's just that I'm actually incapable of getting one.

I'm depressed all the time, so I sit alone and drink until I can't stand up, every single day. I've started smoking heavily – I guess to stand out or set myself apart from everyone else or something – and spend my free time sleeping or fantasizing about violence. I'm really disturbed about that last bit – I'm a devoted pacifist, but all day long I think about either shooting the place up or killing myself.

I'm also completely unconvinced that I have any kind of future in anything. My passion is – was – for history, and a year or two ago I thought I wanted to work as a professor, but I can't see how I'll ever accomplish that now that my grade point average has been so thoroughly destroyed. Furthermore my professors all hate me, and rightly so: I never turn in any work except when it's been past due for 2 weeks. Considering the way academia works I'd say that I've permanently ruined that as a career path.

Anyways, sorry to have wasted this bandwidth with my pathetic little sob-fest.

See a Therapist. I have for a week and it has done wonders for me already.

16? and in college? god i could barely handle high school.

take SaintB's advice. it will do wonders.

Where I come from 16 is a ridiculously young age to start college. Try taking a year off.

i thought i was young when i started at 17.....

At 16, you should be feeling this awkward in high school, then getting over it by senior year.

Follow SaintB's advice. See a therapist. Take a year or two off, regroup, and go from there. Yes, your GPA at that particular school is shot. That by no means is to say that your entire life ahead of you is gone. Just give it some time.

I've never had a girlfriend – I could count how often I've kissed someone with the fingers of one hand. It's not like I don't want a girlfriend either, it's just that I'm actually incapable of getting one.

You are 16. Start worrying about being unable to get kissed when you hit 25 or so - assuming the situation has not changed by then. That the MTV type media wishes to convince everyone they should have their first shag 10 seconds after they hit puberty does not mean they are right - far from it.

Besides, your current personality will die in the next few years. It is called "growing up".

I'm 16 and a freshman at college

i've located the problem. too old to get by doogie-style, too young to even attempt to fit in. drop out and join a rock and/or band.

I've never had a girlfriend – I could count how often I've kissed someone with the fingers of one hand. It's not like I don't want a girlfriend either, it's just that I'm actually incapable of getting one.

I'd be willing to bet that your problem there is two-fold...

1) you're 16 and in college, so presumably the girls that you are trying to pick up are older than you and a lot of girls (at that age) aren't particularly interested in younger men.
2) Lack of self-confidence

Just give it time and try not to stress about it, it'll happen.

1) you're 16 and in college, so presumably the girls that you are trying to pick up are older than you and a lot of girls (at that age) aren't particularly interested in younger men.

He could go to a highschool and pick up girls that like saying they date a college freshman ;)

Are you in school because your parents told you to or because you chose to? Are you going to a 4-year college or a community college?

If your parents don't object and the laws in your area don't require you to go to school, take a year off from school. Get a job, find out a little about yourself. You might try a stint in the military (I think the lowest age limit is 16 with parental consent) - something like the Air Force or the Navy where the emphasis is on being intelligent (and, of course, there's always the GI Bill when you get out).

Seriously, if you were doing the kind of work that gets you into college by the age of sixteen, you were probably pretty stressed, you need time to assess yourself. Talking to a good counselor/therapist wouldn't hurt either.

He could go to a highschool and pick up girls that like saying they date a college freshman ;)

true, the more important one was #2 anyways

Woah, if I were 16 and were capable of going to college, I'd take two years off. Probably spend that time accumulating money and relaxing, not necessarily in that order...

In the US, you'd graduate before you're legally old enough to drink. In college, that's enough for a good "FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"