NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, NSG, what's the most entertaining injury you've ever sustained? Entertaining to yourself (in retrospect) is preferable, though entertaining to others is also acceptable.

I caught a flying unopened soda can -- with my head -- two days ago. Led to a concussion, which I'm still working through.

It's already funny.

Lunatic Goofballs is needed here desperately

I jumped out of a car goin about 20 mph and broke my heel...

Sucked at the time, but, endless amount of jokes and laughs later though, lol

I once fell out of a tree but on the way down u got stuck upside down with a branch in my leg. My dad comes to pick me off and syas "Hey look a pear." Burst out laughing, for him the funniest injury ever.

When I was young, I rode in the back of a mudbogging pickup truck with a crazy friend being the wheel. I was tossed about quite vigorously until a sudden violent lurch later, I was thrown physically out of the back of the moving truck, bounced off a rock about the size of an ottoman and landed in a foot of mud. I broke two ribs.

Lunatic Goofballs is needed here desperately

I'm here. :)

I hyperextended my middle finger, which sounds a lot funnier than it really was.

I stuck my head out a window and almost got guillotined. No injury though.

Just two from me.

When I was in school I was late and missed the bus, but my mother agreed to give me a lift in with the car because I had an important test that I COULD NOT be late for. She drove over my foot.

I was late for the test.

The other was not that funny for me, but amused everyone else, which was the time I played rugby while blind drunk. Playing with a bit of a buzz was not a thing, but I overdid and could barely see, much less stand. I'm a weedy little runt, and was not good at rugby, so when a first team forward got the ball and ran straight for me, it was a recipe for disaster. I was out cold for like two minutes, apparently, but for some reason decided to keep playing, managing to dislocate the middle finger. When they finally persuaded me to go off the pitch, I made it to the touchline and then crashed out, landing face first on the concrete at the side of the pitch, in the process chipping my tooth, cutting my ear and biting a chunk into my tongue. Perhaps wisely, I never played rugby again.

Edit: Oh, and a third was breaking my toe by dropping a metal chicken on it.

Fell off of a chair in the middle of Health class. Sprained an ankle. It led to far too many lame jokes about how 'unhealthy' that health class was.

Not my own, but a friend broke his hand falling down a tree he was climbing when he was mashed on Mandy, which was hilarious.

I hyperextended my middle finger, which sounds a lot funnier than it really was.

Any injury that results in a need for keeping the middle finger elevated can lead to some awkward situations...

My best takes a minute to explain.

I was in Utah, skiing at Solitude mountain. I had just picked up a pair of demo skis to use for the day, and was testing their capabilities out rather vigorously. I am an expert skier, and, as such, was traveling at quite high speeds. The conditions were not too good that day, and the incline of the hill melted in with the horizon, making it hard to see how steep everything was. Unfortunately for me, this resulted in me flying off a ledge, completely bewildered by the fact that I was now a good 7 feet in the air, traveling forwards at at least 30 miles per hour. I do a great deal of ski jumping, so this would not normally have been a problem. Even more unfortunately, however, the demo people made a major mistake in matching the bindings to my skis. My left ski fell off, and I now found myself in approximately the same position as before, looking down at my single ski with a Wile-e-Coyote-like sense of terror. I uttered a single obscenity, in Spanish, I believe. A second later, I hit the ground, and had the poor luck to land directly on a sheet of ice. As can be expected from someone hitting a sheet of ice on one foot at 30+ MPH, I immediately fell over backwards, and hit the ground hard. That resulted in a broken tailbone. As this occurred, the back of my right ski hit the ground, came free from its binding, and flew up at high speed, smacking me solidly in the face. This resulted in a concussion, and a giant gash across the forehead. I was not out of the woods yet. Considering the speed at which I had hit the ground, and the consistency of the ice I had landed on, I continued down the mountain at a great velocity, bouncing occasionally on my already broken tailbone. Unfortunately, the trail I was on developed moguls at the bottom. Upon hitting the first mogul, I was again tossed into the air, this time landing rather hard on my stomach. This knocked the wind out of me, and resulted in a few bruised ribs. I continued bouncing this way down a good part of the remainder of the trail. Finally, to add insult to injury, I took one more leap off a small bump, and flew headfirst into a snowdrift, which took the next ten minutes to fully extract myself from in my injured condition. With the help of some kind gentlemen on the mountain, I recovered my equipment, and, bleeding, broken, freezing and wet, staggered back to my hotel room.

I broke my shoulder having sex once. It was plenty entertaining for the ER staff. Everyone working that shift came into my room separately "so, tell me exactly how you broke your shoulder" :rolleyes:

The first 3 people I thought it was that standard "tell me the same thing over again" thing they do at the ER, then after 7 I thought maybe they thought hubby was trying to hurt me, but then after people who didn't work in the ER came in......I kinda got annoyed.

It's kinda funny now. Having to call my friend to come watch the kids.

"I broke my shoulder"
"doing what?"
"um.......it hurts really bad, can you come watch the kids?"
"yeah, but what happened?"
"um....I fell"
"how?"
"um........"
"what?!"
"um.......we.....um.......can you please come watch the kids?"
:p

I've had a few humorous bedroom-related injuries, though nothing serious. Probably the funniest serious injury was when I broke my wrist as a child when I fell off a slide.

It should perhaps be mentioned that I was trying to climb up the slide in question.

In my socks.

And I was supposedly a genius child. Apparently not that day. :p

My injuries were all boring...

The other day I messed up my hand pretty good trying to open a glass jar, which shattered...



Another one is when I slipped off of the top of an APC[getting on it..] O.o

Well, one of them isn't really an injury, but I have 2.

The first one was when I cycled down the hill for the 102th time. But this one was different. I lost control and I was scared that I might crash into a tree. But no, this was worse. I evacuated at full speed in my fear, and fractured my left arm. Also my grandpa died in the same hour. :eek: Freaky.

The second one was when I was trying to catch a ball in PE. I ran and closed my eyes for a bit. Then the ball bounced off my head, and like a cartoon, I paused in the position I was in when I was hit. Much lulz was to be had.

I done blowed myself up one time.

Seriously - it was pretty funny.

Ooohhh I remember. When I was 10 I hit a tree while sledding... I fell off the sled and rolled all the way down the hill. I built up so much momentum rolling (because I was out of wind and couldn't stop myself) that I hit the ramp me and my brother had built, flew perhaps 7 feet into the air, and crashed onto the PAVEMENT below. All I did was sprain my wrist.

Earlier this evening, I was sort of dozing on the subway. So, in a desperate effort to maintain consciousness, I punched myself in the head. Not so funny, except that I promptly said, "Ow," and in a pretty whiny voice too.
My friend who was with me laughed for about 20 minutes, but he wasn't all that sober either. Now he's unconscious on the floor.

Funnier still, my grandfather (according to family legend) sprained his penis. He doesn't talk about it, but his children certainly do.

I've done quite a variety of things that should end with me being injured but I always end up fine. Like getting towed down the highway in the middle of winter on my stomach.

Then I do normal everyday things and wind up getting hurt and it isn't the least bit funny. Like going for a walk and breaking my neck... I guess that could be entertaining although I was rather miffed about it.

Ooh, I know! I jumped a car of mine off a cliff with some buddies and because we hadn't planned on the jumping off of the cliff I didn't bother to take all the dangerous stuff out of the car like a leaky car battery, the spare tire, empty beer bottles, etc... Needless to say, when we came to that sudden stop at the bottom off the cliff all that nasty stuff "shifted" a little ways. I caught the spare tire in the back of the head and spilled my beer while my buddy (who probably prevented further injury by doing up my seat belt prior to launch) sliced his hand open on the sill of the door. That was entertaining for the two of us in the car, everyone else thought we were dead.

I have a scar through my eyebrow where I was hit by flying samba band instruments.

Not really any major injury, but I'm told that me walking into a lamppost while trying to choose a song to play on my ipod was quite amusing

A couple of weeks ago I was helping out out at a volleyball workshop. We were knocking the ball round a bit before we got underway. Someone mishit the ball and it went off in some random direction. I decided to charge after it and try to hit it back. A combination of sprinting and having to reach very low caused me to tumble. Ended up hitting my foot off the floor and my head off the wall. I knocked myself out and fractured my toe.

i fel from my bike and had a elbow injury the first day of christmas vacation that was pretty funny we are still laughing with it the rest of the vacation was boring

One summer in my youth, I worked on a dairy farm and got kicked in the balls by a cow I was trying to milk. Everybody's laughing as I'm rolling on the ground. Once I'm able to produce coherent noise again, the first thing I do is laugh too. It's my curse that despite the pain, I find getting struck in the groin just as funny when it's my own groin as somebody else's. That laughter reflex has encouraged so much violence to my testicles, I'm amazed I actually had kids.

I broke a finger by hitting someone once.

I got two...

While on vacation with friends I accidentally ran head-long into one of them, knocking us both over. I got up first and was leaning over him to see if he was okay when he rose suddenly, causing the back of his head and my right eye to meet suddenly and painful, which promptly put us both back down again. He had a nice big bump there and I got a black eye from the experience. After a while I got tired of everyone asking how I sustained such an injury and just said "You should see the other guy!"

Also, one Christmas when I was about eight I was sliding across the wooden floor in my PJs when a massive splinter broke off...in my right ass cheek. Hurt like all hell, but my parents managed to get it out after they recovered from being paralyzed by laughter.

I have fallen UP a flight of stairs :p

I have fallen UP a flight of stairs :p

That's always a good time!

I broke my nose while chasing a rabbit in science class.

Lol.

You see there was this giant mudpile in 10 degree weather. Mud is wet. Water is cold. I fell cut across my face lost both shoes and a sock and had to walk back to the house like that. Had minor frostbite in both feet and a hand. Plus a giant cut. All my idea haha.

I broke my shoulder having sex once. It was plenty entertaining for the ER staff. Everyone working that shift came into my room separately "so, tell me exactly how you broke your shoulder" :rolleyes:

The first 3 people I thought it was that standard "tell me the same thing over again" thing they do at the ER, then after 7 I thought maybe they thought hubby was trying to hurt me, but then after people who didn't work in the ER came in......I kinda got annoyed.

Now I'm curious... however, be advised that by spreading such... er... details among themselves... they (the nurses) are now violating your right to patient privacy. ;)

no real embarrassing injuries... except for the fact that as a child I used to sleep... er... run. and we had these thick glass doors...

so at night my parents would hear "patta-patta-patta-BAM!" as I would run into these sturdy doors at night.

Fortunately, I wasn't big enough nor strong enough to break the glass doors... but after several nights of this, they started to decorate all their glass doors with stickers so that I could 'see' them. it must've worked cus after that I somehow started avoiding those invisible barriers.

I think the one injury that got most comments from the ER staff was when I broke a glass while doing the dishes. Two of those ribbed IKEA glasses were wedged together and I somehow managed to break them in such a way that I jammed one pointy part into my right ring finger.

This being a university town and hence many, many households are equipped with exactly the same kind of glasses, apparently the doctor had seen this happen on more than one occasion before. When I told her that I was only doing the dishes, she rightly guessed "IKEA glasses? You're not the only one who's had a problem with those."

Other than that, from the odd cut or concussion, nothing really entertaining has happened. *knocks on wood*
I really don't like being injured or injuring myself.

I think the one injury that got most comments from the ER staff was when I broke a glass while doing the dishes. Two of those ribbed IKEA glasses were wedged together and I somehow managed to break them in such a way that I jammed one pointy part into my right ring finger.

This being a university town and hence many, many households are equipped with exactly the same kind of glasses, apparently the doctor had seen this happen on more than one occasion before. When I told her that I was only doing the dishes, she rightly guessed "IKEA glasses? You're not the only one who's had a problem with those."

Other than that, from the odd cut or concussion, nothing really entertaining has happened. *knocks on wood*
I really don't like being injured or injuring myself.

Oh, "those" Ikea glasses. Yes, I know which ones you are talking about. I've managed to keep all my fingers with those ones. The wine glasses they make are even more dangerous.

I hyperextended my middle finger, which sounds a lot funnier than it really was.

Lol, WIN!!

Oh, also, in high school gym class, I made the mistake of pairing off with the other worst tennis player in the class besides myself to practice. She promptly hit the tennis ball straight into my face (she was aiming ten feet to my left). I had one heck of a bloody nose and a badly swollen and split lip.

I also had my nose broken in gym class a few years earlier when this stupid girl headbutted me in a game of kickball, and have since rebroken it in a variety of stupid ways, the most ridiculous one being when I was merely washing my face and somehow managed to nudge my nose just right to snap the stupid thing again.

the most ridiculous one being when I was merely washing my face and somehow managed to nudge my nose just right to snap the stupid thing again.
:eek: More soap, less scrubbing!!!

:eek: More soap, less scrubbing!!!

I wasn't even scrubbing particularly hard! I just kinda went, "la la la, rinsing off my face, la la SNAP what the hell?"

I once ran into a French Window. As in, sprinted, head first. I bounced off the glass ^_^
Other than that, I once fainted in technology and cracked my head on the corner of a vice. Oh, and while playing musical chairs, I headbutted someone in the mouth and snapped his tooth in half diagonally.

Oh, "those" Ikea glasses. Yes, I know which ones you are talking about. I've managed to keep all my fingers with those ones. The wine glasses they make are even more dangerous.
Never touched their wine glasses. I did, however, manage to break all of those glasses one or two at a time. I've switched to mugs and plastic since then.
I wasn't even scrubbing particularly hard! I just kinda went, "la la la, rinsing off my face, la la SNAP what the hell?"
:eek::eek2::eek: That's even worse than I pictured it.

About a week ago in the parking lot of a grocery store I flung myself into my car, clocked my head against roof just above the door opening, and knocked myself onto my ass and almost passed out.

I've also knocked my head into the shelf of a closet while leaning forward to get something at the back, and swung a pendant on a chain around and around until it smacked me in the forehead.

The best though, just for sheer theatrics, was probably when I cut my thumb open on the lid of a tin of pineapple I was eating while extremely intoxicated, because I noticed the blood and was like, OMG!, and kind of threw my hands up because I was startled, thereby creating a streak of blood across the ceiling. Later I tried to help my friend clean the blood off the floor, but I was using the hand that was hurt to wipe it up, so it just made it worse until he convinced me to stop.