NationStates Jolt Archive

In honour of the annual World's Biggest Liar competition
http://www.santonbridgeinn.com/liar/
let's see who can tell the biggest lie. Santon Bridge exclude lawyers and politicians but I think we can ignore that stipulation. Lies first then we can all choose our favourite.

I have been telling everybody here that I am now 40. I lied, I'm only 12!

Obama means change!

Obama means change!

Bwhahahahhaha! No wait, umm grrr!:eek2:

Caribou Barbie ain't a neocon.

Not only am I gay, I'm a bottom.

I'm from the earth's future. I have bent sent back in time ala Twelve Monkeys to warn humanity of its impending doom.

That website is not entirely too precious!

Mine. "I have better things to do than take part in a lying competition on NSG" :p

Mine. "I have better things to do than take part in a lying competition on NSG" :p

Hands up, your lie is the best so far!:fluffle:

Nah, I'm a terrible liar.

lol paradox

I'm not actually a Vampire. I'm a Super Vampire! :D

I'm a Texan.

I am Max Barry


Edit:

And while I'm at it...

Every 15 minutes someone reading an NSG thread undergoes a profound change of mind over religion, politics or sexuality thanks to the articulate, well-reasoned, and non-confrontational approach of most posters.

I'm a Texan.

Texas, where everything is bigger?

Texas, where everything is bigger?

Everything looked about the same size to me...

Everything looked about the same size to me...

Then that is also a lie.

The only psychology training I have is from a Psych 101 class.

I'm also a straight male from Alabama

I'm a man.

I'm a man.

Well, thats the best lie I've seen so far. :D

I'm a cake

I'm a man-cake.

I'm really Nanatsu no Tsuki's fiance.

George W Bush is the best president we've ever had as evidenced by his respect for the US constitution; and the fact that he kept terrorists from attacking on US soil by going to war with Iraq and stopping their WMD program which was already well underway.

I don't lie. Except for now.

*Head asplodes*

Im a really nice guy who is terrified of confrontation.

Nobody likes Nanatsu, on NSG in particular.

I have several young women tied up in an underground dungeon in the middle of an empty field in central Ohio.

Oh! It's time to go feed them.

I never hijack threads.

The economy is fundamentally sound.

Of course I love you. Now take off your pants.

I did not write this post or make this statement.

Nobody likes Nanatsu, on NSG in particular.

That is not a lie.

That is not a lie.

This statement is false!

Ok, my lie:
"I am NOT a Ninjutsu-educated hypnotist enrolled at a Private Military College hoping to become a Navy Chaplain."
Suck on that!

Wyoming.

I think George W. Bush is a good president.

LIE

That's about the biggest lie I can get here, without resorting to too much trickery. :D

LIE

That's about the biggest lie I can get here, without resorting to too much trickery. :DI've been had! :eek:

You're all a steaming pile of cod-faced, bile-spewing, iris-gouging, lily-livered rat-finks!

The cake.

The statement below is true
The statement above is a lie

PARADOX!

I'm a Communist.

The statement below is true
The statement above is a lie

PARADOX!

Only one of those is a lie for the paradox to be resolved.

I'm a Communist.

Thats not a lie. Everyone would be a communist if they saw the world accurately. People only think they're not because of false consciousness resulting from the hegemony of capitalist ideas.

I'm not being serious. Or maybe I am. That first statement might have been a lie. CONFUSION ENSUES

There has been a president at some point in US History that was worse than George W. Bush.

I went to an all-girl college...Before my sex change operation...

religion is good

MDK officially stands for "Murder, Death, Kill"

This is a meaningful thread.

religion is good

:rolleyes:

Originally Posted by Wilgrove
The statement below is true
The statement above is a lie
PARADOX!

Only one of those is a lie for the paradox to be resolved.
Wrong. Suppose the first one is a lie. That means the second one is not true. That means the first one is not a lie.

Or suppose the second one is a lie. That means the first one is not a lie. That means the second one is true.

EDIT: wait, now I see, Exilia and Colonies was telling a lie, by saying the paradox was resolved!

Nah, I'm a terrible liar.

lol paradox

Lulz.

"Oh, I was..... it was nothing..... I wasn't actually..... we're just friends?"

A new age is dawning in America. There are those who speak of an American dream, but I do not: I see an American reality approaching. With you, the people, helping me, I will bring peace, freedom, and prosperity to the United States of America. Love will be our strength, and happiness will be our goal. My fellow Americans, the future is so incredible, that the past will only be remembered as a vague Dark Age. To destiny!

There has been a president at some point in US History that was worse than George W. Bush.

Andrew Jackson? Harry S. Truman?

andrew jackson? Harry s. Truman?

JFK? Darn you Jolt! It's a name!

I'm a good Catholic. I just came from confession.

Andrew Jackson? Harry S. Truman?

As if any of these were worse than President Skeletor...

I'm Jesus, Mohammed, Krishna and Buddha all rolled into one....with superpowers....and a Silver surfboard....and I have a holy hand grenade...

I wrote this. You see, the best lie in a thread where you are supposed to be lying is the truth, since people automatically assume it's a lie, they lie to themselves. Since you know they will do this, you are lying to them in a grander fasion then you would be if you were actually lying. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IKnowYouKnowIKnow)

I'm not a teacher. I'm actually a forty year old guy living in a double wide in Alabama, and I like to post in the nude. None of the other mods know this, because they've never met me.

I'm not a teacher. I'm actually a forty year old guy living in a double wide in Alabama, and I like to post in the nude.

Kat missed the point of the thread.

:rolleyes:

Kat missed the point of the thread.

:rolleyes:
There are no women on the internet?

Kat missed the point of the thread.

:rolleyes:

http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l311/unknown_exception/gaf/fry-see-what-you-did-there.jpg

http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l311/unknown_exception/gaf/fry-see-what-you-did-there.jpg

Tee hee. :)

There's nothing worse than raw toast!

JFK? Darn you Jolt! It's a name!

The statement below is not a lie.

Youre pretty consistant at showing you know very very little about JFK's presidency.

http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l311/unknown_exception/gaf/fry-see-what-you-did-there.jpg
I am quite happy to see this image, and do not at all believe that it is overused.

Everything I post is a lie

The statement below is not a lie.

Youre pretty consistant at showing you know very very little about JFK's presidency.

But if this is a thread on lying, is the top statement a lie, as well as the bottom statement?

I am lying at this very moment.

There are no women on the internet?And kids are the FBI.
Damn, I forgot the rest of it. :p

I used to work as a male stripper called Thor the Mighty Hammer God; my tag line was "Come feel the power of Mjolnir".

My archaeologist parents were obsessed with Sparta. When I was a child they abandoned me in the New Forest to fend for myself. As a consequence for several years I was raised by squirrels.

I know where you live.

Its not your fault we are breaking up, its mine.

I am a radical right winger and devoutly Christian.

Then that is also a lie.

Truthfully though, really surprised you had nothing to say about my other lie.

Truthfully though, really surprised you had nothing to say about my other lie.

What lie? It is the truth. You're really my fiancé. <_<

NSG is a community of delightful, non sheepish free thinkers, who will look at every issue without bias or influence from groupthink.

I'm not 14, and Finnish. I'm a 38-year old merc, currently working for a PMC in Iraq.

I'm Spartacus.

I'm Spartacus.

No I'm Sparticus!

No I'm Sparticus!

I'm Brian Blessed! HELLOOO!

I'm Brian Blessed! HELLOOO!

Did someone order a LARGE HAM?!

Did someone order a LARGE HAM?!

Gordon's ALIIIVE? :D

Gordon's ALIIIVE? :D

The above post is a lie.

The Internet is a series of tubes.

Gordon's ALIIIVE? :D

Well, Freeman and Alyx are definetly alive.

Ronald Reagan was a saint.

I know where you live.
Well, duh, we've only been sharing the same apartment for almost 2 years.

I'm actually not that awesome.

There has been a president at some point in US History that was worse than George W. Bush.

Yeah, his name was Franklin Pierce and who is/was an ancestor of you guessed it. See here for more information. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Bush#Early_life)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, lying has never been my strong suit. Besides, I have other more practically skills that are more useful then the ability to tell a good lie. Not to mention, I believe in honesty even if it means telling someone something that don't want to hear.

But, before I go I'll leave you all with something to ponder that I heard many many years ago.

"A good lie is one that can't be separated from the truth”.

My penis is from Texas

I'm from Kazakhstan and I am retard brother Bilo of Borat.

Given my flexibility, dashing charm and wolf-like instinct for profit, it's no wonder that I'm one of the few investment bankers that is still making more money than he knows what to do with. I am proud to say that the downfall of others is my gain. If massive government interventions hadn't occurred, we would have been one step closer to the glorious ideal of a truly libertarian world. Alas, it was not to be... for now. One day libertarianism shall rule the world, it is inevitable.

The below statement is true
The above statement is false

The below statement is true
The above statement is false

Nobody has said that one yet :rolleyes:

EDIT: wait, now I see, Exilia and Colonies was telling a lie, by saying the paradox was resolved!

Yes. Thats exactly what I was doing.

Gorbachev was a GREAT leader.

President Obama, the President who will never lie to you, lol. The candidate of change you can believe in, lol. His own very clever campaign slogan. Change can mean many different things to many persons. The change you get will be whatever President Obama considers change. Especially Independent voters. I tried to tell you all but many of you did not listen. The change you get may not be the kind of change you voted for.

Nobody has said that one yet :rolleyes:
The sarcasm emitnating from this man has given me a boner

I am not a puppet.

Every 15 minutes someone reading an NSG thread undergoes a profound change of mind over religion, politics or sexuality thanks to the articulate, well-reasoned, and non-confrontational approach of most posters.
I like this one. The best lies are the ones we all secretly believe.

EDIT: That wasn't a lie, by the way, I was simply commenting on someone else's lie.
EDIT EDIT: That wasn't a lie, either.
EDIT EDIT EDIT: Aw, nuts...

Ive had sex

In honour of the annual World's Biggest Liar competition
http://www.santonbridgeinn.com/liar/
let's see who can tell the biggest lie. Santon Bridge exclude lawyers and politicians but I think we can ignore that stipulation. Lies first then we can all choose our favourite.

Here's the winner (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14239998&postcount=1)

here's the winner (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14239998&postcount=1)
LOSE!
Meaningful text that is easily visible. Full sentence.

How can you tell when a politician is lying? (You can see his lips move):

Mission Accomplished - George

This is my last territorial demand - Adolf

I did not have sex with that woman - Bill

The very first thing a man notices about a woman... is her stunning.. eyes.

Here's the winner (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14239998&postcount=1)

No fair, that wasn't even entered! And I went to the trouble of posting my first lie while keeping a straight face and not vomiting . . .

How can you tell when a politician is lying? (You can see his lips move):

Mission Accomplished - George

This is my last territorial demand - Adolf

I did not have sex with that woman - Bill

+ President Obama, I will never lie to you, Change you can believe in, lol.

I really value, appreciate, and enjoy the opinions of other people.

I really value, appreciate, and enjoy the opinions of other people.

*falls out of his seat laughing*

I have cake.

Oh, the irony. It burns.

I have cake.

Oh, the irony. It burns.

The cake is a lie.:rolleyes:

Tothe is really a Guantanamo Bay prison interrogator known as "Mr. Pliers" to the inmates. And he thinks Bush is a demigod.

The cake is a lie.:rolleyes:[Off-topic] I actually do have cake, but, as we all know, the cake is a lie. So, I have some sort of strange substance that is totally not cake, but, nonetheless, looks like the mythical subject that has never existed because it is a lie.[/off-topic]

Jehovah exists.

*falls out of his seat laughing*

I aim to please.