NationStates Jolt Archive

We have the question about etiquette on the first date (still going strong!). But what about divorce/separation etiquette. You really don't like him/her much anymore. You're not in the same bed, probably not even in the same house anymore. You've both agreed it's going nowhere - fast. But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

I don't think ex-sex is right, so probably not. Might make the pain worse.

But seeing as i've no problems right now, this topic don't affect me. :D

Surely that's an individual decision one makes based on all kinds of independent and other variables. Does it matter what anyone else but the people involved think?

Find another woman.

Find another woman.

Doesn't help if you're a heterosexual woman.

Doesn't help if you're a heterosexual woman.
Man it is.

But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

Not exclusively.

Should you have sex with your ex?

If you both want to, sure.

How is this etiquette-related? If you want to, yes. If you don't, no.

I don't think this is an etiquette question so much as a question of whether or not engaging in sexual activity with someone you have an emotional history with is, overall, a beneficial and/or healthy thing to do for you as an individual. Obviously, there will be several factors: how badly the break-up went, each individual's personalities and emotional tendencies (some people can have sex without an emotional attachment, others can't), what kind of relationship they shared in the first place, whether or not there's still any level of trust/respect between the partners...

It's a decision that needs to be made on a situation-by-situation basis. For myself, I could never do it; I still love my ex too much, and I'd just be damaging myself mentally and emotionally.

I think it could potentially screw things up, but it depends on the relationship.

How is this etiquette-related? If you want to, yes. If you don't, no.

It could be an etiquette question in the "How do you bring it up to your ex that you want it in the pooper again?" way.

I'd have sex with any of my ex's, no questions asked. But they were all clean break-ups, and we've always been friendly afterwards. This goes with one night stands as well. I always lay it out beforehand though, this doesn't mean we're getting back together, I have no attachment blahblahblah.

Weird, I know.

It could be an etiquette question in the "How do you bring it up to your ex that you want it in the pooper again?" way.
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h303/usa732/its-a-trap.jpg
Wow, already 100% return on that one.

We have the question about etiquette on the first date (still going strong!). But what about divorce/separation etiquette. You really don't like him/her much anymore. You're not in the same bed, probably not even in the same house anymore. You've both agreed it's going nowhere - fast. But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

If you both want to, and you can keep it as just sex, why the hell not?

We have the question about etiquette on the first date (still going strong!). But what about divorce/separation etiquette. You really don't like him/her much anymore. You're not in the same bed, probably not even in the same house anymore. You've both agreed it's going nowhere - fast. But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

No, FUCK NO, FUCKING HELL NO!

No, FUCK NO, FUCKING HELL NO!

Why?

I don't think this is an etiquette question so much as a question of whether or not engaging in sexual activity with someone you have an emotional history with is, overall, a beneficial and/or healthy thing to do for you as an individual. Obviously, there will be several factors: how badly the break-up went, each individual's personalities and emotional tendencies (some people can have sex without an emotional attachment, others can't), what kind of relationship they shared in the first place, whether or not there's still any level of trust/respect between the partners...


Pretty much what she says... I take that back, almost exactly what she said <.< >.>

Why?

1. There are better people to have sex with than an ex that you just broken up with. Hell most countries have industries that deals with our "needs". They're called prostitutes.

2. While there are some people who can have sex and not have it mean anything, there are other who can't separate their emotions from sex. If your ex is one who cannot separate emotions from sex, then that's just going to make things worse. Because then they'll be wondering if y'all are going to get back together etc.

3. Why not have sex with someone new? Why even go back to the ex?

*Comes in hoping for delicious kinkiness*

*looks around, confused*

*stays anyway*


I don't think sex with your ex is bad etiquette really, but I don't think it's a good idea. It sounds like it would over-complicate things.

But then, who am I to say? I've never had an ex, let alone had sex with one.

We have the question about etiquette on the first date (still going strong!). But what about divorce/separation etiquette. You really don't like him/her much anymore. You're not in the same bed, probably not even in the same house anymore. You've both agreed it's going nowhere - fast. But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

The lack of moral sense here intrigues me.

The lack of moral sense here intrigues me.

"Moral sense"? I wasnt aware your morality was an absolute.

We have the question about etiquette on the first date (still going strong!). But what about divorce/separation etiquette. You really don't like him/her much anymore. You're not in the same bed, probably not even in the same house anymore. You've both agreed it's going nowhere - fast. But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

I have had sex with an ex boyfrined once, but it's never that good, and you have nothing to talk about.

I think it's better if you move on. It can leave you in a really akward place.

The lack of moral sense here intrigues me.

Troll?

1. There are better people to have sex with than an ex that you just broken up with. Hell most countries have industries that deals with our "needs". They're called prostitutes.

At least you wouldn't have to worry about the akward conversation.

The lack of moral sense here intrigues me.

Your lack of understanding about your morals being yours and yours alone doesn't intrigue me at all. It's far too common. It's more annoying than anything else.

It's an individual decision, no?

The only "etiquette" I can apply here are the rules

1) No sex without both partners knowing the other's motivation

2) No sex if it isn't clear whether the partners can deal with the other having differing motivations

3) No sex that is putting one or more of the involved in danger

So, if you both feel that it's only physical, or (and I cannot really imagine this) the one with emotional attachment is somehow fine with it only being physical for the other, and re-entering that part of the relationship does not pose anyone at (physical) risk, I guess you're fine - which doesn't mean you *should* do it, but that you could, IMHO, if you felt like it.

We have the question about etiquette on the first date (still going strong!). But what about divorce/separation etiquette. You really don't like him/her much anymore. You're not in the same bed, probably not even in the same house anymore. You've both agreed it's going nowhere - fast. But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

If you have gone through a divoce why would you want to?

Not usually a great idea, but I've done it a few times. It can be hard to resist. You feel like a shag. You know where you can get one. Once it's over, you're reminded why you stopped in the first place.

Sex is not equal to love, but depending on the purpose you broke up, why would you want to go to an ex for a piece? It's generally not worth it and the emotional strain that comes along with it. There's a reason one should move on after the relationship dies and honestly, I'm sure you could do better. It's difficult, but it's better in the long run.

Sex is not equal to love, but depending on the purpose you broke up, why would you want to go to an ex for a piece? It's generally not worth it and the emotional strain that comes along with it. There's a reason one should move on after the relationship dies and honestly, I'm sure you could do better. It's difficult, but it's better in the long run.

Agreed.

We have the question about etiquette on the first date (still going strong!). But what about divorce/separation etiquette. You really don't like him/her much anymore. You're not in the same bed, probably not even in the same house anymore. You've both agreed it's going nowhere - fast. But, you still have ... needs. Should you have sex with your ex?

I've had sex with my exes...but I would never have sex with my current ex, who I lived with for nearly 11 years. The level of antipathy I hold towards him so absolutely kills any attraction I may have once had that the very thought of having sex with him now makes me want to tear my fucking larynx out and EAT it.

Which would be hard to do...

I've had sex with my exes...but I would never have sex with my current ex, who I lived with for nearly 11 years. The level of antipathy I hold towards him so absolutely kills any attraction I may have once had that the very thought of having sex with him now makes me want to tear my fucking larynx out and EAT it.

Which would be hard to do...

It would keep falling out as you tried to swallow it?

I've had sex with my exes...but I would never have sex with my current ex, who I lived with for nearly 11 years. The level of antipathy I hold towards him so absolutely kills any attraction I may have once had that the very thought of having sex with him now makes me want to tear my fucking larynx out and EAT it.

Which would be hard to do...

OM NOM NOM

Painful and difficult. You'd have to chew fast.

Hmm...so I have a question along the same line of thought.

Let's say you and your ex break up, and you don't speak for seven years. Y'all talk again, catch back up, and you both get horny and want to get freaky. Seven years has pass, is it ok to have sex with the ex?

Just remember not to have sex with your ex before killing him/her. That's how you get caught. DNA and all that. In fact, don't have sex with your ex after killing him/her either.

Try to space the sex with your ex approximately a week to ten days before the killing. *nod*

Just remember not to have sex with your ex before killing him/her. That's how you get caught. DNA and all that. In fact, don't have sex with your ex after killing him/her either.

Try to space the sex with your ex approximately a week to ten days before the killing. *nod*

But what if you use a condom?

Try to space the sex with your ex approximately a week to ten days before the killing. *nod*

Why not after?

Just remember not to have sex with your ex before killing him/her. That's how you get caught. DNA and all that. In fact, don't have sex with your ex after killing him/her either.

Try to space the sex with your ex approximately a week to ten days before the killing. *nod*

Is ten days after killing safe too, or do you need to wait longer?

But what if you use a condom?

It's too risky. Not to mention the 'ewww' factor of having to carry that thing to a safe disposal location afterward.

Why not after?

Is ten days after killing safe too, or do you need to wait longer?

Depends how discrete the coroner is. *nod*

It's too risky. Not to mention the 'ewww' factor of having to carry that thing to a safe disposal location afterward.

Please, all you have to do is flush it down the toilet.

Please, all you have to do is flush it down the toilet.

You can't trust it to flush properly or to not get stuck in the trap. There is a good reason why no clowns have been caught since John Wayne Gacy. *nod*

You can't trust it to flush properly or to not get stuck in the trap. There is a good reason why no clowns have been caught since John Wayne Gacy. *nod*

Because they know better than to bury the bodies on their own property, or has a huge vat of acid on hand?

What is the proper way to dispose a condom anyways?

I found sex with the ex fun at the time, but fraught with guilt afterwards. Your mileage may vary.

Because they know better than to bury the bodies on their own property, or has a huge vat of acid on hand?

What is the proper way to dispose a condom anyways?

I just put them in the trash. I thought that's what everybody did.

What is the proper way to dispose a condom anyways?

Leave it inside the girl where it slipped off.

Or, if you like her, throw it in the trash.

Because they know better than to bury the bodies on their own property, or has a huge vat of acid on hand?

What is the proper way to dispose a condom anyways?

Drop it in a public park so they can't differentiate between yours and all the others. *nod*

Drop it in a public park so they can't differentiate between yours and all the others. *nod*

Brilliant!