Zombie PotatoHeads
13-11-2008, 13:25
...oh you have? Not surprising - it's at least 16 Centuries old!
Dead Parrot sketch ancestor found
An ancestor of Monty Python's famous Dead Parrot comedy sketch has been found in a joke book dating back to Greece in the 4th Century.
Philogelos: The Laugh Addict, which has been translated from Greek manuscripts, contains a joke where a man complains that a slave he was sold had died.
"When he was with me, he never did any such thing!" is the reply.
The 265 jokes in Philogelos are attributed to a pair of jokers called Hierocles and Philagrius, about whom very little is known.
The book has been translated by William Berg, an American professor of Classics.
"The text of Philogelos comes to us from several manuscripts ranging from the 11th to the 15th Centuries," Berg said.
"All of them trace back to an earlier original, probably - judging from the content and language - from the 4th Century."
Other jokes in the book include:
• Someone needled a well-known wit: "I had your wife, without paying a penny". He replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?"
• An Abderite sees a eunuch talking with a woman and asks him if she's his wife. The guy responds that a eunuch is unable to have a wife. "Ah, so she's your daughter? "
• A misogynist is attending to the burial of his wife, who has just died, when someone asks: "Who is it who rests in peace here?". He answers: "Me, now that I'm rid of her!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7725079.stm
Some other more erudite Latin scholars can agree or correct me here: Philogelos basically translates as, "Laughter Lover".
Here's some more I found online:
No. 187: An ill-tempered astrologer cast the horoscope of a sick boy, promised his mother that he would live for a long time, then demanded his fee. "Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you then." "But what happens to my fee if he dies in the night?"
No. 201: On returning from a trip, someone asked a charlatan prophet how his family was. "They are all well, especially your father." "But my father’s been dead for ten years!" "Ah, clearly you do not know your real father."
No. 202: Having cast a boy’s horoscope, a charlatan prophet predicted that he would be first a lawyer, then a city prefect, and finally a provincial governor. But the boy died. His mother came back and remonstrated, "My son has died, the one you said would be a lawyer and prefect and governor." "I swear by his memory," responded the prophet, "he would have been all of those things had he lived!"
No. 203: Someone went to a charlatan prophet and inquired if his rival would come back from a voyage. The prophet promised that he could not. But the man found out a few days later that he had come back. "Well," said the prophet, "how shameless can you get?"
No. 204: A charlatan prophet cast a client’s horoscope and told him he could never have children. "But I’ve already got seven!" "Then you’d better take good care of them!"
No. 205: A charlatan prophet was captured by the enemy, and confessed his trade. Now it so happened that they were about to fight a battle. "You’ll win it," he promised them, "as long as the enemy don’t see the hairs on the back of your heads."
248. A misogynist was sick, at death's door. When his wife said to him, "If anything bad happens to you, I'll hang myself," he looked up at her and said: "Do me the favor while I'm still alive."
27. An intellectual, falling sick, had promised to pay the doctor if he recovered. When his wife nagged at him for drinking wine while he had a fever, he said: "Do you want me to get healthy and be forced to pay the doctor?"
197. An incompetent schoolteacher was asked who the mother of Priam was. Not knowing the answer, he said: "It's polite to call her Ma'am."
51. An intellectual caught sight of a deep well on his country-estate, and asked if the water was any good. The farmhands assured him that it was good, and that his own parents used to drink from that well. The intellectual expressed his amazement: "How long were their necks, if they could drink from something so deep!"
proof there are no new jokes.
Post your favourite old joke. y'know the one that makes everyone physically cringe when they hear it!
Dead Parrot sketch ancestor found
An ancestor of Monty Python's famous Dead Parrot comedy sketch has been found in a joke book dating back to Greece in the 4th Century.
Philogelos: The Laugh Addict, which has been translated from Greek manuscripts, contains a joke where a man complains that a slave he was sold had died.
"When he was with me, he never did any such thing!" is the reply.
The 265 jokes in Philogelos are attributed to a pair of jokers called Hierocles and Philagrius, about whom very little is known.
The book has been translated by William Berg, an American professor of Classics.
"The text of Philogelos comes to us from several manuscripts ranging from the 11th to the 15th Centuries," Berg said.
"All of them trace back to an earlier original, probably - judging from the content and language - from the 4th Century."
Other jokes in the book include:
• Someone needled a well-known wit: "I had your wife, without paying a penny". He replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?"
• An Abderite sees a eunuch talking with a woman and asks him if she's his wife. The guy responds that a eunuch is unable to have a wife. "Ah, so she's your daughter? "
• A misogynist is attending to the burial of his wife, who has just died, when someone asks: "Who is it who rests in peace here?". He answers: "Me, now that I'm rid of her!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7725079.stm
Some other more erudite Latin scholars can agree or correct me here: Philogelos basically translates as, "Laughter Lover".
Here's some more I found online:
No. 187: An ill-tempered astrologer cast the horoscope of a sick boy, promised his mother that he would live for a long time, then demanded his fee. "Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you then." "But what happens to my fee if he dies in the night?"
No. 201: On returning from a trip, someone asked a charlatan prophet how his family was. "They are all well, especially your father." "But my father’s been dead for ten years!" "Ah, clearly you do not know your real father."
No. 202: Having cast a boy’s horoscope, a charlatan prophet predicted that he would be first a lawyer, then a city prefect, and finally a provincial governor. But the boy died. His mother came back and remonstrated, "My son has died, the one you said would be a lawyer and prefect and governor." "I swear by his memory," responded the prophet, "he would have been all of those things had he lived!"
No. 203: Someone went to a charlatan prophet and inquired if his rival would come back from a voyage. The prophet promised that he could not. But the man found out a few days later that he had come back. "Well," said the prophet, "how shameless can you get?"
No. 204: A charlatan prophet cast a client’s horoscope and told him he could never have children. "But I’ve already got seven!" "Then you’d better take good care of them!"
No. 205: A charlatan prophet was captured by the enemy, and confessed his trade. Now it so happened that they were about to fight a battle. "You’ll win it," he promised them, "as long as the enemy don’t see the hairs on the back of your heads."
248. A misogynist was sick, at death's door. When his wife said to him, "If anything bad happens to you, I'll hang myself," he looked up at her and said: "Do me the favor while I'm still alive."
27. An intellectual, falling sick, had promised to pay the doctor if he recovered. When his wife nagged at him for drinking wine while he had a fever, he said: "Do you want me to get healthy and be forced to pay the doctor?"
197. An incompetent schoolteacher was asked who the mother of Priam was. Not knowing the answer, he said: "It's polite to call her Ma'am."
51. An intellectual caught sight of a deep well on his country-estate, and asked if the water was any good. The farmhands assured him that it was good, and that his own parents used to drink from that well. The intellectual expressed his amazement: "How long were their necks, if they could drink from something so deep!"
proof there are no new jokes.
Post your favourite old joke. y'know the one that makes everyone physically cringe when they hear it!