NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

get high.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

Good advice: Talk it out with her. She's part of your relationship too and if you're a dangerous wacko, the sooner she finds out, the better. :)

Bad advice: Share her with your friends. :)

get high.

I don't rely on drugs, thank you.

That's a difficult one. Take a deep breath and drink a glass of water every time you feel panic coming up, maybe that helps you overcome your paranoia. Another thing you might want to try is to change your fearful thoughts by thinking about something that makes you happy. Don't let yourself be conquered by your lesser feelings.

Good advice: Talk it out with her. She's part of your relationship too and if you're a dangerous wacko, the sooner she finds out, the better. :)

That's actually very good advice, thank you. I shall speak with her about it in detail when I next have a chance. I hope she understands.

I don't rely on drugs, thank you.

I think we have found your problem.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

You need electric shock therapy. And, if you are into this sort of thing, ask your doctor if your girlfriend can be permitted to have some time operating the controls herself:)

ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and i love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different i panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am i so damn paranoid? How can i stop myself from being like this?

I know that if i don't bring myself under control, i could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and i spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can i bring myself under control before it is too late?

awwwwwwwwww

Replace your brain with a computer. You won't have any problems with things like emotions.


Of course, if this girl objects to getting pregnant asap you'll also see no reason to continue any kind of relationship with her.

Good advice: Talk it out with her. She's part of your relationship too and if you're a dangerous wacko, the sooner she finds out, the better. :)

Seriously, this. It seems like common sense but it's surprising how often it doesn't happen.

Be cool, calm, and collected. You're in control of yourself, you have to be confident in yourself. A majority of women I know consider confidence a huge factor in a relationship.

Expect, and accept, change.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

All I can say is: You are heading down a slippery path. Women/girls dislike insecurity and being smothered. Unfortunately, your paranoia is heading you in that direction.

Be yourself and be confident in yourself. Don't force something into working just for the sake of being in a relationship. This is the only way you will ever know if your girl loves the real you in return. If it doesn't work out, it may hurt in the short term, but it will spare you greater pain down the road.

And don't forget, it may not be you at all. Some women are just crazy ;)

*Sigh* I have not seen her this evening... but as soon as I can I will have a long chat with her about this.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?
Fluffles. Lots and lots of fluffles.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid?

Because you're in your first relationship, and you don't feel very confident.

How can I stop myself from being like this?

Only experience, and getting to know her better.

awwwwwwwwww

seconded.

this is the sweetest thing I've seen all day and I have a kitten:p

Why am I so damn paranoid?

[insert L word]

How can I stop myself from being like this?

lock her in the basement so she can never get away! (or like calm yourself down and stuff)

Yeah, I'm in love. I can't stand being away from her, I feel secure while she is with me, and it burns when she has to go.

Think about the ways you change as well. Realise it's a mutual development within a relationship. Trust each other enough to talk about it.

In all seriousness...did you ever see the movie "Something About Mary"? You could always..... and then you'd be cool.:D

If you do something to piss her off, she will not be cryptic about it.

Kill her and have her stuffed. That way you can never upset her and she can never leave you. WIN.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBbAZVw3_7A

Destroyer by The Kinks:
Met a girl called Lola and I took her back to my place
Feelin' guilty, feelin' scared, hidden cameras everywhere
Stop! Hold on. Stay in control

Girl, I want you here with me
But I'm really not as cool as I'd like to be
'Cause there's a red, under my bed
And there's a little yellow man in my head
And there's a true blue inside of me
That keeps stoppin' me, touchin' ya, watchin' ya, lovin' ya

Paranoia, the destroyer.
Paranoia, the destroyer.

Well I fell asleep, then I woke feelin' kinda' queer
Lola looked at me and said, "ooh you look so weird."
She said, "man, there's really something wrong with you.
One day you're gonna' self-destruct.
You're up, you're down, I can't work you out
You get a good thing goin' then you blow yourself out."

Silly boy ya' self-destroyer. Silly boy ya' self-destroyer

Silly boy you got so much to live for
So much to aim for, so much to try for
You blowing it all with paranoia
You're so insecure you self-destroyer

(And it goes like this, here it goes)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(Here it goes again)
Paranoia, the destroyer

Doctor, Doctor help me please, I know you'll understand
There's a time device inside of me, I'm a self-destructin' man
There's a red, under my bed
And there's a little green man in my head
And he said, "you're not goin' crazy, you're just a bit sad
'Cause there's a man in ya, gnawin' ya, tearin' ya into two."

Silly boy ya' self-destroyer.
Paranoia, the destroyer

Self-destroyer, wreck your health
Destroy friends, destroy yourself
The time device of self-destruction
Light the fuse and start eruption

(Yeah, it goes like this, here it goes)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(Here's to paranoia)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(Hey hey, here it goes)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(And it goes like this)

Paranoia, the destroyer
(And it goes like this.)

EDIT: The serious side of this post is that these are common feelings. Enough so that many hit songs have been written about them.

You could always break up with her

You could always break up with her

<_< Hmph.

No chance. I love her.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

talk to her

Look, it is a much longer life these days then say, oh, the dark ages, when most people were lucky to make it past thirty. It is your first great relationship, it will likely end some day, don't let that throw you. Everything begins and eventually ends.
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. If things go south you will find another woman who will make you feel wonderful eventually. It happens.
Enjoy what you have while you have it and don't try to hold on so hard. The tighter you try to hold on to someone they more likely you will push them away.
I had the same problem when I was younger. Drove away three really wonderful women in five years because I didn't communicate, keep calm, be understanding and accept that everything ends -- jobs, love, our lives. Remember that an ending isn't really an ending just a chance to change and you will be ok. To let you know I have been with my wife (My fourth great love) for 13 years, we have occasional fights but it looks like it will keep going. If it fails I'll change and get on with things.
Believe me it has all happened before, one way or another, and it will all happen again. The destination is of no consequence just enjoy the ride.

Get drunk. Really drunk. Blackout drunk.

She'll probably claim that you called her crying and asking her why she doesn't love you, but I assure you, she's just lying. If you can't remember it, it clearly never happened. Even if your call log says otherwise.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

LOL. Relax...

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

Get a blog.

/irony

Get a blog.

/irony

Out of everyone, I knew it would be YOU to say that. :p

Out of everyone, I knew it would be YOU to say that. :p

Jesus did say treat others the way they treated you....Or was that Jose.... hmmm

VKZ, you need to riegn in your nerves. People are infinatly deep and as your relationship pogresses you will discover more about yourself as well as her. If you are constantly being paranoid you will push her away, the exact opposite of what you want. Do be open, and let her know you havn't done this before and are on unfamiliar ground... maybe she can ermm.. ease the transition. Reign in your fight or flight response and face things rationally.
I have caused endless trouble in more than one other person's relationships in a bar/party when the jealous (thats just another form of paranoia) guy would get aggresive with me for talking to 'his girl' with the simple words, "If you have to fight so hard for her she must not really be yours."
Thats pretty much my philosphy when it comes to relationships. Don't be paranoid; don't try to fight every percived threat because trust is the most important aspect of any relationship and the best part of being in love is discovering new things about that which you love.

Oh yeah.. people are emotional too, sometimes you might make each other angry; you just need to overcome it and learn from your mistakes. Above all, compromise as often as possible.

I'm no love guru (Hell all my relationships have ended in ruin) but 90% of the women I have had a romatic interlude with try to come back for seconds. So I do something right :)

Get a blog.

/irony

Wil no baka... hontou ni. :rolleyes:

Thank you for your advice, everyone. I think everything is going to be ok now.

Expect, and accept, change.

How vague :p

Yea i think its a normal thing- i was pretty nervous about everything i was doing in my first relationship- am i going too fast, am i going too slow, do i say the right stuff?

The first two arent a big deal and a good girl will prob. be understanding and even helpful while you figure that out.

And as for the last one, there is no 'right stuff' it's all gotta come from in here *points to heart* ;)

Wil no baka... hontou ni. :rolleyes:

....Did you just ask me if I wanted to marry a goat?

Thank you for your advice, everyone. I think everything is going to be ok now.

Take it from me, Zero-kun. Unless you know you´ve done something wrong to her, her mood changes or absences have nothing to do with you. You´re a wonderful guy and if this girl has you, she´s a lucky woman. Relax, as many have said. If she loves you, and I´m sure she does, she will talk to you about this fear. Openness is the best course of action. Let her know how you feel so you can work something out. It´ll be alright.:wink:

....Did you just ask me if I wanted to marry a goat?

Baka implies stupidity...

....Did you just ask me if I wanted to marry a goat?

No, I called you an idiot in Japanese.:wink:

No, I called you an idiot in Japanese.:wink:

Ahh, well I can respect that. *passes you a bottle of beer*

Take it from me, Zero-kun. Unless you know you´ve done something wrong to her, her mood changes or absences have nothing to do with you. You´re a wonderful guy and if this girl has you, she´s a lucky woman. Relax, as many have said. If she loves you, and I´m sure she does, she will talk to you about this fear. Openness is the best course of action. Let her know how you feel so you can work something out. It´ll be alright.:wink:

As always my dear friend, you give the best advice. Thanks, Yuki-Chan. ;)

Ahh, well I can respect that. *passes you a bottle of beer*

*toasts*:wink:

Eat her soul.

Eat her soul.

With tabasco sauce. *nod*

With tabasco sauce. *nod*

No no, Soul goes best with Soy Sauce!

No no, Soul goes best with Soy Sauce!

No no Wil, tamari sauce´s more robust.

Awww..........

He has a human side. I never knew.

No no Wil, tamari sauce´s more robust.

Hmm true. Now, what's the best way to prepare the soul?

Awww..........

He has a human side. I never knew.

LIES, LIES AND SLANDER!

I do not have a human side.

Awww..........

He has a human side. I never knew.

We all have a Human side, Bel.

We all have a Human side, Bel.

I know. I'm just happy that your happy.

I know. I'm just happy that your happy.

Thats very nice of you Bel.

Humanity is for the weak.

Hmm true. Now, what's the best way to prepare the soul?

Deep fried.

Deep fried.

I was thinking more of a Bar-B-Que, medium rare to medium.

I was thinking more of a Bar-B-Que, medium rare to medium.

Oh no, covered in tempura chips and deep fried, dipped in tamari sauce... Mouth watering soul!:D

Its odd.. the OP was so serious that I can't make any jokes o.O

Oh no, covered in tempura chips and deep fried, dipped in tamari sauce... Mouth watering soul!:D

Mmmm....dammit, now I want some deep fried soul. Damn you good ma'am!

Its odd.. the OP was so serious that I can't make any jokes o.O

Sure you can, you just have to try harder.

Its odd.. the OP was so serious that I can't make any jokes o.O

SaintB, unable to make jokes?!:eek:

Its odd.. the OP was so serious that I can't make any jokes o.O

Yes you can. You just have to try harder.

Yes you can. You just have to try harder.

Copycat....*writes down something in a book titled "Hit list"*

No, seriously, just have sex with her right then and there, no matter where you are or what you are doing. That should make you feel better. And her as well. Maybe.

No, seriously, just have sex with her right then and there, no matter where you are or what you are doing. That should make you feel better. And her as well. Maybe.

KoL, like... don´t give Zero any ideas. >.>

No, seriously, just have sex with her right then and there, no matter where you are or what you are doing. That should make you feel better. And her as well. Maybe.

The man speaketh the truth.

Ok ok... So a horse walks into a bar... no wait thats not what I was trying to do here. An old man and a young man... gah!


I prefer my souls baked, with a spicy maranara (I know I spelled THAT wrong) sauce and topped off with Mozzerella Cheese. For side dishes I always prefered candied plums. If your going to eat the soul of your one true love make it a meal you'll never forget and will savor the flavor of for hours to come.

KoL, like... don´t give Zero any ideas. >.>

Oh he's a guy, he already had that thought, trust me.

No, seriously, just have sex with her right then and there, no matter where you are or what you are doing. That should make you feel better. And her as well. Maybe.

I'll wait until she's ready for that.

I'll wait until she's ready for that.

Or y'all could wait till you're both ready. I mean she may be ready, but what about you?

Ok ok... So a horse walks into a bar... no wait thats not what I was trying to do here. An old man and a young man... gah!

I´z getting a RhynoD flashback!!!:eek:

prefer my souls baked, with a spicy marinara (I know I spelled THAT wrong) sauce and topped off with Mozzerella Cheese. For side dishes I always prefered candied plums. If your going to eat the soul of your one true love make it a meal you'll never forget and will savor the flavor of for hours to come.

That´s why I want mine Japanese-style, sir.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

I'm probably the last person you'd want relationship advice from because I haven't reached the sixth month mark with any of my ex-girlfriends... Many of them, I barely reached two months.

Relationships never stress me out for one reason, laissez-faire (yes, it applies to more things than economics), friend. You just gotta learn how to chill and go with the flow. There's no sense stressing out over a relationship when there are so many more worth while things to be stressed out about. Worrying too much about if you upset your girlfriend only makes it easier for you to become whiped (and miserable)... If you end up breaking up, it's not a big deal... There are plenty of single women out there. Besides, being single is better than being in a relationship anyway (at least in my opinion) because you have by far more freedom.

Other than that, I suggest you do what I do when I'm stressed... Smoke plenty of Camel Filters and down several shots of straight Jack Daniel's or Canadian Club. Bare in mind, I do this when I'm stressed about grad school, not girlfriend issues.

SaintB, unable to make jokes?!:eek:

I have always made it a point to eat my lovers?

(Take that however you wish people)

I have always made it a point to eat my lovers?

(Take that however you wish people)

I like you, I like you a lot.:D

if your paranoid now wait until you get married...my advice would be stay out of relationships.Maybe you should just get a dog.

if your paranoid now wait until you get married...my advice would be saty out of relationships.Maybe you should just get a dog.

WOAH kid! We're not that deep in yet!

WOAH kid! We're not that deep in yet!

It'd be less stressful to own a dog than to be in a relationship though, that much is true.

It'd be less stressful to own a dog than to be in a relationship though, that much is true.

That's what you think - i'm happier with my cat.

if your paranoid now wait until you get married...my advice would be stay out of relationships.Maybe you should just get a dog.

That's an image that's going to last...

I like you, I like you a lot.:D

One of the cheap tricks I learned while doing stand up was that double meanings are always crowed pleasures.

That's what you think - i'm happier with my cat.

Yea, Amelia is awesome.

Ok so yeah, i'm in my first relationship, and I love her to bits. But everytime she acts a little different I panic and think i've done something to upset her. Why am I so damn paranoid? How can I stop myself from being like this?

I know that if I don't bring myself under control, I could lose her for real. That frightens me the most. I really had an outburst of paranoia last night after work, and I spent the evening apologising for my panic.

How can I bring myself under control before it is too late?

Here's what you do:

Buy some weights off of Craigslist or something. Every time you feel paranoid and insecure, work out for half an hour. When you're done, you'll feel much better, and eventually you'll develop awesome muscles. Your totally bitchin' biceps will help convince her to forgive your panic attacks and stick around.

Bonus: Get her involved with the excercise. You'll spend quality time together doing healthy activities, and she'll also eventually get that sleek, toned body the Bowflex commercials are always going on about.

Also: Learn Jeet Kune Do. Just because.

yea, amelia is awesome.

lmao!

I'll wait until she's ready for that.

Fag.

Fag.

*Sigh* There's always one. :p

*Sigh* There's always one. :p

Well I was kidding.

Well I was kidding.

I knowz KoL, you old salt. ;)

*Sigh* There's always one. :p

I think KoL desires you, Zero-kun. And I´m all for it, cuz I´m a hopeless ”moe”!! KYA KYA KYAAAAA!!!:D

I knowz KoL, you old salt. ;)

I know it, and you know it, but Im sure that if I hadnt said I was kidding anyway, some random bystander would freak the fuck out over it.

I know it, and you know it, but Im sure that if I hadnt said I was kidding anyway, some random bystander would freak the fuck out over it.

True - people misread what you say often. :D

I think KoL desires you, Zero-kun.

I knowz KoL, you old salt. ;)

I know it, and you know it, but Im sure if I hadnt I would freak the fuck out.

:D

One love!

:D

One love!

.....the fuck?

I fubared... uno momento?

Fixed it :).

.....the fuck?

Yes, there will be plenty of that. :D

I fubared... uno momento?

Now it makes (slightly) more sense.

Now it makes (slightly) more sense.

I forgot to paste the first parts... and with a little fix to what you said it was funny as hell to me.

Also, something else: be happy you're in a relationship with the person to whom you're attracted, tenuous or otherwise.

Some of us can't claim such fortune.

Also, something else: be happy you're in a relationship with the person to whom you're attracted, tenuous or otherwise.

Some of us can't claim such fortune.

True, but if you're in a relationship and not happy, then why not get out of it?

True, but if you're in a relationship and not happy, then why not get out of it?

Loyalty? Love?

My friends certainly make me happy, but I'm not sure I would simply end my friendships if they ceased to increase my happiness.

I fubared... uno momento?

Fixed it :).

I LOLZ´d.:D

Loyalty? Love?

My friends certainly make me happy, but I'm not sure I would simply end my friendships if they ceased to increase my happiness.

If you're not happy in a relationship, or a friendship, then why stay in it? You have loyality to yourself as much as you do to your boyfriend or friends.

I mean I may love my wife, but if she's a drug addict, who steals from me to support her habit, I may not stay with her. It doesn't mean I don't love her less, it just means that I can't be with her in her current state, because it's unfair to me.

If you're not happy in a relationship, or a friendship, then why stay in it?

Because there are more important things than happiness.

You have loyality to yourself as much as you do to your boyfriend or friends.

And it would be a betrayal of myself to infringe upon my own principles by abandoning those in whom I have invested loyalty.

I mean I may love my wife, but if she's a drug addict, who steals from me to support her habit, I may not stay with her. It doesn't mean I don't love her less, it just means that I can't be with her in her current state, because it's unfair to me.

Right. I'm not required to be servile. If my friends or the people with whom I am in relationships actively mistreat or abuse me, certainly my own self-respect should get me out (though not without at least making a reasonable attempt to address the situation first.)

It is a different case, however, if for whatever reason developments in the nature of our friendship cause it no longer to be a happy matter. If my friend suffers a horrible catastrophe and my friendship gets me to rather unpleasantly spend much time and effort helping him, the mere fact of the unpleasantness is not a good reason to suddenly say, "We are no longer friends."

:D

One love!

I wanted to do some sort of Little Jacob(from GTA IV) reference, but I cuoldn't think of any.

I wanted to do some sort of Little Jacob(from GTA IV) reference, but I cuoldn't think of any.

I wasn't even trying to make a reference... just a common phrase in Jamaica.

I wasn't even trying to make a reference... just a common phrase in Jamaica.

Pass the douchie!:p