NationStates Jolt Archive

So for those who are married, or in a committed relationship, or have a long term sex partner. What are some of the faults that your partner have? Does this fault make you love them, or want to be with them more or less? Also, how do you overlook this fault and still be in the relationship?

I don't have a gf, so I can't really comment.

I have so many faults that my husband puts up with I'm willing to put up with the few of his that actually annoy me.

I am such a bitch that I appreciate the fact he puts up with it. So, in payment, I put up with some of his BS.

how do you overlook faults? By the recognition that your partner is a human being.

how do you overlook faults? By the recognition that your partner is a human being.

I can already tell you some of my biggest fault.

There are people who are too damn clingy, they have to be around their partner all the damn time. Which is annoying. However, I am on the opposite end of that specturm. I am very independent. From 2002 to today, I really haven't had a committed relationship. Yes I dated, but they never became serious. As a result, I became this guy who just does whatever he wants, however he wants, and doesn't really take other people's feelings or opinions into consideration. Which needs to change, I know. Because no one wants to be with someone who is ultra-clingy, and no one wants to be with someone who's ultra-independent.

My other big problem is that I am inconsistent. I don't always take my meds when I'm susspose to (It's only antibiotics anyways) and when I try to improve myself, and make myself into a better person, I slip up once in awhile.

Everyone has faults, loving someone means accepting those faults. There's no magic formula for what's a dealbreaker. Either you can get past it or you can't. If you find yourself questioning or wanting to change the other person maybe it's time to step back and reconsider things.

So for those who are married, or in a committed relationship, or have a long term sex partner. What are some of the faults that your partner have? Does this fault make you love them, or want to be with them more or less? Also, how do you overlook this fault and still be in the relationship?

I don't have a gf, so I can't really comment.

I predict a plethora of the same type of response.

I have manyy faults as does my wife, we each put up with each other's because we love each other.

how do you overlook faults? By the recognition that your partner is a human being.

That's making an awfully large assumption for this crowd.

That's making an awfully large assumption for this crowd.

Ummm I don't thing we have any non-humans here! Do we?:D

Ummm I don't thing we have any non-humans here! Do we?:D

Not the posters here, but their partners.

You consider the composite entity, not the individual. I personally find my girlfriend's capacity to get along with anybody, and ineffable, unqualified faith in human nature, a little grating at times, just as she finds my apparent cynicism and machiavellian turn of mind irritating. However, these are counteracted by the fact we understand each other on a more fundamental level than others do, the intellectual and emotional stimulation we offer the other, and the simple reality we make each other happy.

...(It's only antibiotics anyways)...
Wait, wait, what? I'm sorry, but you taking antibiotics is less about you and more about you not training bacteria to be resistant against them. Take your friggin meds, for all our sakes.

Rule one of being in a long term relationship: You don't go around complaining about them. They will find out, and then you won't be in a long term relationship any more.

(especially when their google-fu is strong)

This post reads like it was written by someone who breaks down values into numerical catagories and decides based on that. "good kisser, +5". "doesn't pick up socks, -2". "smells like cheese, -4" "does that thing with her tongue I really like, +9".

Human relationships don't work that way. We don't empirically categorize everything into "good" and "bad". Relationships are about seeing the person, in totality, not reducing them to a few pros and cons.

This post reads like it was written by someone who breaks down values into numerical catagories and decides based on that. "good kisser, +5". "doesn't pick up socks, -2". "smells like cheese, -4" "does that thing with her tongue I really like, +9".

Human relationships don't work that way. We don't empirically categorize everything into "good" and "bad". Relationships are about seeing the person, in totality, not reducing them to a few pros and cons.

You might append to that the irrationality of love.

Sometimes my hand gets a little dirty, so I have to wash him from time to time. Can get a little annoying.

This post reads like it was written by someone who breaks down values into numerical catagories and decides based on that. "good kisser, +5". "doesn't pick up socks, -2". "smells like cheese, -4" "does that thing with her tongue I really like, +9".

Human relationships don't work that way. We don't empirically categorize everything into "good" and "bad". Relationships are about seeing the person, in totality, not reducing them to a few pros and cons.

Hehehehe.

And yes, I'd say that's entirely accurate. I've never been in a relationship where my partner had no faults, or never annoyed me - but those faults were part of who they were, and I liked who they were. I don't think I could love a perfect person - people's flaws are what make them people. So, to take the ex I thought I was going to marry - I can't exactly say that I liked his back hair, or his tendency to forget that he'd already told me a given stupid joke a dozen times, or how cooking anything more complicated than a peanut butter sandwich scared him, or how he needed to preen and show off around his male friends, and so on and so forth, but they were parts of who he was, and if they'd changed, he wouldn't have been himself, the guy I'd fallen in love with, anymore.

(That's not to say everyone should necessarily be accepted "just the way they are" - there are, of course, flaws that are deal-breakers. The same ex also hit me in anger, for example, and that I would have changed in a heartbeat.)

Wait, wait, what? I'm sorry, but you taking antibiotics is less about you and more about you not training bacteria to be resistant against them. Take your friggin meds, for all our sakes.

Heres the dirty little secret about antibiotics, baterica will become resistant to them sooner or later. I usually have to change every two years or whenever the one I'm on become ineffective. Last time I changed, they changed me to one that caused me to have vomiting and diarreha. I appericated the spring cleaning of my body, but I didn't want to go through that everytime I took it.

So for those who are married, or in a committed relationship, or have a long term sex partner. What are some of the faults that your partner have? Does this fault make you love them, or want to be with them more or less? Also, how do you overlook this fault and still be in the relationship?

I don't have a gf, so I can't really comment.

My partner's too damn sexy for his own good, and forces me to try to take advantage of him in public. He wears these tight, whorish shirts. Totally provocative. Slut.

This post reads like it was written by someone who breaks down values into numerical catagories and decides based on that. "good kisser, +5". "doesn't pick up socks, -2". "smells like cheese, -4" "does that thing with her tongue I really like, +9".

Human relationships don't work that way. We don't empirically categorize everything into "good" and "bad". Relationships are about seeing the person, in totality, not reducing them to a few pros and cons.

I try not to do that whenever I'm with someone. I tend to look at the whole person, and I try to see if I have real feelings for her. However, I guess sometimes a person have faults that I simply cannot overlook and must discontiune the relationship.

I do know alot of people who do what you're describing though Neo, and I just have to wonder if they're doing it because they're afraid of committed relationship, if they're afraid of getting close to someone, etc.

You dig who you dig, and you come up with excuses about it later to try and explain why.

"Do you love me because I prefect,or am I perfect because you love me?"

Love doesn't care what annoys you or how much you hate their flaws. Realtionships on the otherhand...

It's easy to overlook minor faults in your S.O.; just imagine ways in which it could be much worse - also look at your own faults and be thankful that they are putting up with you.

Ummm I don't thing we have any non-humans here! Do we?:D

You forgot me.

So for those who are married, or in a committed relationship, or have a long term sex partner. What are some of the faults that your partner have?Too many to list.

Does this fault make you love them, or want to be with them more or less?Depends on the fault. Most are neutral, a couple are more, but the biggest ones are less.

Also, how do you overlook this fault and still be in the relationship?By not making it a priority to end the relationship.

She thinks I am a good catch seems to be her biggest fault.

So for those who are married, or in a committed relationship, or have a long term sex partner. What are some of the faults that your partner have? Does this fault make you love them, or want to be with them more or less? Also, how do you overlook this fault and still be in the relationship?
I'm not exactly married, but we're living in the same house (my father's house, technically), so it should sort of counts.

Faults... There sure are, but I'm afraid I can't find a good phrasing. And I'd better not, since she also occasionally posts on this forum, from this very account.

In a sense, I could say the "fault" is being at times a lot more independent than in most relationships, and treating me for what I am. I'm sure most people would consider that mistreatment and grounds for divorce. We usually expect our friends and 'family' to be flattering and comforting us, not telling the bad things others don't notice, playing jokes on us, or putting us into our place.
Does that make me love her? Not at all, the first thing we have clear, none of us loves each other, we just consciously and rationally understand that we won't find as good a relationship elsewhere. Because while there are dark sides, at least we understand each other, and we know we're worth each other. Both in our good sides and our bad sides.

But somehow these issues aren't grounds for breaking up. I suppose, we all seek in our close relationships what we lack outside them. At my position in life, I mostly deal with subordinates or superiors rather than equals, and so people are rarely honest with me, very few are ever aggressive towards me, I rarely meet competition, and while I have a lot to worry about, there are always plans B, C and D. Not a common situation, but that's the way it is. And so, no matter what happens at work, I can always count on some instability at home.

What are some of the faults that your partner have?

one of those sick fucks who puts things like peanut butter in the fridge also unaffectionate and boring not forgetting lazy

Does this fault make you love them, or want to be with them more or less?

less on most but the lazy housewifery

Also, how do you overlook this fault and still be in the relationship?

mutual love of drinking

I became this guy who just does whatever he wants, however he wants, and doesn't really take other people's feelings or opinions into consideration. Which needs to change, I know.

no it doesn't. don't be a vagina

My other big problem is that I am inconsistent. I don't always take my meds when I'm susspose to (It's only antibiotics anyways) and when I try to improve myself, and make myself into a better person, I slip up once in awhile.

you scare me

Of course my wife has faults, and I complain about them from time to time (And tease her about them the rest of the time), and so do I, which she very rarely passes up an opportunity to point out.

The thing is, having lived across the ocean from each other for a few years due to circumstances, I found out that I actually missed her faults and being annoyed by them along with the rest of her. It's a package deal after all, you get one with the other.

I don't think that, in a committed relationship, you put up with them as much as you learn to accept them. If you're putting up with them, there will come a time when you get tired of putting up with them and they become the proverbial straw to break your camel's back. Acceptance though, that leads to a stronger relationship.

no it doesn't. don't be a vagina

Hmm, lets see, take other people's feelings and thoughts into consideration, and have friends and maybe be in a long term committed relationship again. Or, contiune down this road, and end up alone.

Yea I think I'll be changing paths.

you scare me

Yea, I do that. :D

A complete inability to understand the concept of time, boarding at times on the inconsiderate. That, and she can be rater lazy (I do most of the work around here).


Oh well. That just means shes human.

I find that her faults make me love her even more. I could never critisize anything about her.

I find that her faults make me love her even more. I could never critisize anything about her.

Ok that's it. *starts beating Vampire Knight Zero over the head with the shovel*

Ok that's it. *starts beating Vampire Knight Zero over the head with the shovel*

If you don't like my romantic side, No one is forcing you to listen. ;)

If you don't like my romantic side, No one is forcing you to listen. ;)

It's just that your romantic side is as sickening as the Olsen Twins on Full House. I can litterly hear the "awww" sound track when I read your post.

Jeez, be human for once, name one thing you'd change about your gf. It can't be anything cute or loveable either. It has to be a real answer.

Ok that's it. *starts beating Vampire Knight Zero over the head with the shovel*

Oe, minna. Quit it. I know you two really abhor each other, but you´re putting a damper in an already pathetic thread.

It's just that your romantic side is as sickening as the Olsen Twins on Full House. I can litterly hear the "awww" sound track when I read your post.

Sounds to me like you've never felt love. Try it sometime.

Jeez, be human for once, name one thing you'd change about your gf. It can't be anything cute or loveable either. It has to be a real answer.

I am human, and the fact is, I see nothing wrong with her. I don't care what you think.

Sounds to me like you've never felt love. Try it sometime.



I am human, and the fact is, I see nothing wrong with her. I don't care what you think.

Zero, don´t feed the troll anymore.

Zero, don´t feed the troll anymore.

Oh, he's eaten enough. ;)

Oh, he's eaten enough. ;)

Mattasta yo, Zero.

Mattasta yo, Zero.

Gomen Asai.

*Exits thread*

I find that her faults make me love her even more. I could never critisize anything about her.

That will last for about a month.


Trust me, you wont love her any less, youll just start to realize that just because she gets on your nerves doesnt mean you arent in love.

That will last for about a month.


Trust me, you wont love her any less, youll just start to realize that just because she gets on your nerves doesnt mean you arent in love.

We shall see. But thank you for the honest and impartial advice.

*Exits thread again*

mutual love of drinking

Ahh, the secret to any relationship, drink the problems away.

Some of my faults?

I analyze everything, and usually far too much at that, oftentimes without adequate information. It leads me down some really weird roads which are entirely inaccurate.

I'm also too defensive, and just plain sensitive in general. Oftentimes--though, thankfully, in recent times only when I'm not feeling well--I'll take a criticism of anything I am even remotely connected to--say, for example, a link to something I might find neat--as an attack on my person, and will often concoct wild defenses to try to stop the attacker, even to the point of making claims I know are false. (Such as, for example, claiming something to be extremely well researched, when I know nothing of the sort.)

I have been told I am occasionally too nice. That is, I'm much more willing to forgive faults and mistakes and outright cruelty or what have you and emphasize with just about anyone regardless of who they are, what they've done, what they want, or whatever other category you might choose. Personally I tend to think of this as a good thing rather than a fault, but some don't see it that way.

I have also been told I am occasionally too clingy. Because of my emotional sensitivity--and out of sheer habit from twenty-one straight years of living with my parents--I tend to need a lot of physical contact. Hugs and such, and will--I assume--probably try to snuggle too much. (I don't actually know whether I would be overwhelming in this regard or not...the one non-long-distance relationship I've had doesn't seem to suggest that, but one sample is hardly adequate.)

I can fly off the handle too easily, when my "That's bad!" flag or whatever you want to call it gets triggered, and I sometimes don't stop to really think about what's just been said or written and actually look at it, and as a consequence I can be a bit too aggressive at times.

I don't have as much confidence in myself as I would like. I have far more than I ever used to, but still not anywhere near as much I probably should, and I tend to overdo it when I try to avoid insulting someone with a joke or something like that.

Hmm...

I THINK that's it.

I THINK that's it.You think? Oh, no! :(

On topic:
What are some of the faults that your partner have? My former partner (My relationship only lasted for two years. Not sure on your definition of "long-term".) was very...eccentric. She had all sorts of odd tastes and ideas. It wasn't a fault, but it did get to be really annoying at times.

Oh, wait, the question was about our PARTNERS?

Umm...

I don't have one. That's a fault, right?

Oh, wait, the question was about our PARTNERS?Surprise! :D

I don't have one. That's a fault, right?

Yeah, non-existence is a pretty significant fault. I would break up with my partner because of it, but, well....

There are a number of things my bf does that are annoying... he's often (very) late for instance... and while I'm fine with arrival times being within half an hour of predicted arrival times, there have been instances where we have left several hours after we were supposed to be somewhere (which is an issue when you're talking about going to a different city). He can be very disorganized, sometimes keeps me from being productive and he sometimes waits until I'm way too tired to have sex before he initiates anything. He's also trying to get me to move to a place where no jobs exist for me and the winters are brutal.

And if not for the complete absence of careers, I would totally go.