NationStates Jolt Archive


The last time I was awake was in 1944

Hairless Kitten
21-10-2008, 18:00
It was a day like any day. I woke up, took my car and *bang* an accident occurred. I felt in a coma and it turned out that I was awake this morning.

What news should I know?
What kind of important things should I know?
What behavior, items or whatever really changed?

And did the Germans lose the war?
Nanatsu no Tsuki
21-10-2008, 18:01
You. Scare. Me. :eek2:
Neo Art
21-10-2008, 18:02
TV is in color now, and you don't have to get up the change the channel.

The box on the counter is called a microwave, it looks like an oven and works like one too, but simpler.

Cars, washing mashines, and dish washers work all about the same, just a bit fancier.

Phones are cordless now, and do lots of cool things.

That box over there is a computer. We'll...um....we'll get to that one later.
Fnordgasm 5
21-10-2008, 18:03
Well, since you've seemed to master this "internet" in a day, why not use it to find out yourself?
Ferrous Oxide
21-10-2008, 18:03
This is stupid.
Hairless Kitten
21-10-2008, 18:04
The box on the counter is called a microwave, it looks like an oven and works like one too, but simpler.

Cars, washing mashines, and dish washers work all about the same, just a bit fancier.


What happened to our wives?
HotRodia
21-10-2008, 18:06
What happened to our wives?

They burned their bras to liberate themselves from the constrictions of patriarchy and then bought sexy lingerie from Victoria's Secret.
Neesika
21-10-2008, 18:08
They burned their bras to liberate themselves from the constrictions of patriarchy and then bought sexy lingerie from Victoria's Secret.

Ridiculously expensive lingerie, thanks.
Hairless Kitten
21-10-2008, 18:08
Well, since you've seemed to master this "internet" in a day, why not use it to find out yourself?

The internet is not new. It's a bit like a newspaper, but bigger.
Vampire Knight Zero
21-10-2008, 18:09
Everyone has a flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the world is ruled by Damn dirty Apes! :eek:
Hairless Kitten
21-10-2008, 18:10
They burned their bras to liberate themselves from the constrictions of patriarchy and then bought sexy lingerie from Victoria's Secret.

Is there any chance that those new machines - dish washers, vacuum cleaners etc - will buy sexy lingerie for themselves in the future?
HotRodia
21-10-2008, 18:11
Ridiculously expensive lingerie, thanks.

Hey, you're worth it, right? ;)
Peepelonia
21-10-2008, 18:11
TV is in color now, and you don't have to get up the change the channel.

The box on the counter is called a microwave, it looks like an oven and works like one too, but simpler.

Cars, washing mashines, and dish washers work all about the same, just a bit fancier.

Phones are cordless now, and do lots of cool things.

That box over there is a computer. We'll...um....we'll get to that one later.


Ohhh and sex is not considered dirty. Umm unless of course you're into dirty sex!
Fnordgasm 5
21-10-2008, 18:11
The internet is not new. It's a bit like a newspaper, but bigger.

It's not though, is it. There's a lot more "clicking" involved.
HotRodia
21-10-2008, 18:17
Is there any chance that those new machines - dish washers, vacuum cleaners etc - will buy sexy lingerie for themselves in the future?

Not until after they have liberated themselves from the constrictions of the oppressive patriarchy.
Hairless Kitten
21-10-2008, 18:18
Ohhh and sex is not considered dirty. Umm unless of course you're into dirty sex!

My sex wasn't dirty as well in those times.
Trotskylvania
21-10-2008, 18:21
Our current leader likes to think he's making decisions that are as important on national security as FDR. He's also impaired, just like FDR. Only his impairment is mental, and FDR's was physical.
Hairless Kitten
21-10-2008, 18:23
Our current leader likes to think he's making decisions that are as important on national security as FDR. He's also impaired, just like FDR. Only his impairment is mental, and FDR's was physical.

We had our mental ill leaders as well. I remember some German. And the Russians had a nice one too.

So business as usual on this side?
THE LOST PLANET
21-10-2008, 18:25
The Germans did lose, but console themselves with Disco music and by making nice cars and driving them real fast.

The Jews oddly enough are the new Germans and have tapped the Palestinians to play the part they used to have. They moved the whole show a couple of thousand miles east where the landscape for the most part matches the whole ugly business.

The US still tries to rescue everyone (or at least those who play by their rules) but the game changed and they went into a slump until they got bumped down to the minors to improve their record.

Rusia went big then splintered, China went big then discovered greed, Japan discovered they could make electronics fast and cheap and then Korea and Taiwon discovered they could do it cheaper.

Everyone now has a phone and it's usually hanging out of their ear. Oddly enough printed messages similar to telegrams are more popular than actaully speaking to anyone.
The internet was invented and soon became the despository for all the worlds pornography and a way to keep much of the world occupied for great lengths of time.

Everything got wired and then went wireless. Cars and other machines talk to you but your family usually doesn't. Money is mostly plastic or electronic these days and the banks figured out how to charge you for spending it.

That about covers it I think,... Oh yeah one more thing, they shipped your job to India while you were out....
Fnordgasm 5
21-10-2008, 18:25
Another thing.. It's now customary to post naked photographs of yourself online at every given opportunity.
Trotskylvania
21-10-2008, 18:30
We had our mental ill leaders as well. I remember some German. And the Russians had a nice one too.

So business as usual on this side?

Pretty much. The new boss is the same as the old boss. The new boss just pretends he cares more than the old one did. At least the old boss had some honesty when he curb stomped you.
Hairless Kitten
21-10-2008, 18:36
Another thing.. It's now customary to post naked photographs of yourself online at every given opportunity.

Not for me, but for the record. What's your naked website?
Gavin113
21-10-2008, 18:38
Human has harnessed the power of the sun, and somehow managed not to wipe itself of the face of the planet. Even though America Did set two bombs off over Japan.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
21-10-2008, 18:38
It's not though, is it. There's a lot more "clicking" involved.
And the Internet doesn't burn as well, though God knows I keep trying.
Forensatha
21-10-2008, 18:41
Humman has harnessed the power of the sun, and somehow managed not to wipe itself of the face of the planet. Even though America Did set two bombs off over Japan.

I'm not sure if he's aware of Fission bombs yet. Or fusion. And I know the antimatter creator in Switzerland is totally going to blow his mind.
Trotskylvania
21-10-2008, 18:44
I'm not sure if he's aware of Fission bombs yet. Or fusion. And I know the antimatter creator in Switzerland is totally going to blow his mind.

Just the idea alone will blow his mind. Then try telling him that there are almost 40,000 of those in existence and they're on a metaphorical hair trigger. :eek2:
Collectivity
21-10-2008, 19:35
Your friends from 1944 are now very old. We put them in old folks homes and visit them occasionally.
Vetalia
21-10-2008, 21:46
Nope, the Germans won. This message was sent to you from Reichskommissariat Ohio...things have improved quite a bit since Hitler died back in '67.

Wait a minute, what goddamn timeline are you guys on?
Vampire Knight Zero
21-10-2008, 21:46
Where am I?

What year is it?

Who's the president! :eek:
greed and death
21-10-2008, 22:00
It was a day like any day. I woke up, took my car and *bang* an accident occurred. I felt in a coma and it turned out that I was awake this morning.

What news should I know?
What kind of important things should I know?
What behavior, items or whatever really changed?

And did the Germans lose the war?

That black guy you see on TV. He isn't pitching a lawnmower service, he is running for president.
Hydesland
21-10-2008, 22:03
Soviet union = epic fail.
Trotskylvania
21-10-2008, 22:10
Nope, the Germans won. This message was sent to you from Reichskommissariat Ohio...things have improved quite a bit since Hitler died back in '67.

Wait a minute, what goddamn timeline are you guys on?

That's funny, cuz I'm living in Confederation of Independent North American States. It's what happened when the old United Socialist States of America collapsed in spite of First Secretary Vonnegut's "Straight Talking" and "Getting It Together" policies.

Well, Charles H. Marx, look at the time. I'm off to catch my train to Debs D.C. It's a real shit hole now, but I might get a job offering there. Enough to feed my family. What timeline are you in?

btw, if you get a chance, pick up Back in the USSA. Awesome alternate history novel
The Blaatschapen
21-10-2008, 22:16
Everyone has a flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the world is ruled by Damn dirty Apes! :eek:

What's so weird or new about that :confused:
Vampire Knight Zero
21-10-2008, 22:19
What's so weird or new about that :confused:

It's tastier now. :)
Augmark
21-10-2008, 22:23
The Germans won the war, and people who just woke up from comas will be sent to labor camps. Also, a man named George Bush, warned the world about Global Warming, and won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Pegasus Autonoma
21-10-2008, 22:28
fire is now wet, and people breathe cheese
Vampire Knight Zero
21-10-2008, 22:28
fire is now wet, and people breathe cheese

I can live with that.

*Snuggles up to a nice warm and cosy puddle*
New Wallonochia
21-10-2008, 22:53
fire is now wet, and people breathe cheese

Awesome.

*breathes camembert*
New Manvir
22-10-2008, 00:30
This magic box in front of you is called a computer.
Wilgrove
22-10-2008, 00:37
Ugly is now beautiful, and beautiful is now ugly.

I am the most beautiful man on earth! :D
Big Jim P
22-10-2008, 00:39
1 January, 2000, Christ and Satan returned on schedule. Taking one look around, they commenced to arguing over which one had to rule this sorry lot for the next thousand years. Failing to reach a compromise, the two then looked into foisting humanity off the the Pagan gods, doddering around in the spiritual equivalent of a cheap old folks home. Though old, the pagan gods remind Christ and Satan, that they still had various mystical swords, hammers etc and still remembered how to use them. The entire party of deities were last seen traveling towards the Andromeda galaxy at high velocity.

And they were still arguing over who had to ride heard on this sorry lot of self-centred monkeys called humanity.

:D
Articoa
22-10-2008, 00:39
This is the interwebs, bastion of porn, and well, more porn. And some not porn too. But mostly porn.
Wilgrove
22-10-2008, 00:44
Ohhh and sex is not considered dirty. Umm unless of course you're into dirty sex!

Another thing.. It's now customary to post naked photographs of yourself online at every given opportunity.

Not for me, but for the record. What's your naked website?

This is the interwebs, bastion of porn, and well, more porn. And some not porn too. But mostly porn.

"I’m fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there’d only be one website left, and it’d be called “Bring back the porn!” ~ Dr. Cox
UpwardThrust
22-10-2008, 01:05
The internet is not new. It's a bit like a newspaper, but bigger.

What newspaper in the 1940's allowed:

Instantly published content
Dynamic content
Video
Audio
Gaming
Interactive gaming and content
Distributed computing
Remote access to private resources
Remote access to desktop publishing
Instant person to person or person to group communication capabilities
Instant access to mail
Instant access to ship, buy or otherwise organize or purchase resources
Personal scheduling capability
Intercommunication to phones or other portable devices
And the least of all access to porn (Again stills audio and visual)

Seems to me that only a tiny fraction can even be compared to a newspaper
Pure Metal
22-10-2008, 01:09
It was a day like any day. I woke up, took my car and *bang* an accident occurred. I felt in a coma and it turned out that I was awake this morning.

What news should I know?
What kind of important things should I know?
What behavior, items or whatever really changed?

And did the Germans lose the war?

all you need to know is there's this thing called teh interwebs and wikipedia is where we put all mankind's knowledge these days. books are now used to build small forts for ourselves to protect from the nuclear winter yeti monster.


ps: nice idea!
South Lizasauria
22-10-2008, 02:40
The earth is now ruled by an illuminating government that is a lot like the third Reich. This government is the United Earth Directorate (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d1aYkUB3Co) who are waging wars with our exiles brothers who have colonized other planets. However during the fight a strange insectoid race has declared war on mankind which now leaves the milky way galaxy in a three way war between the UED other humans (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPb0BIzjmaw), the insectoid zerg and the advanced protoss civilization. :eek:

*runs from a terran ghost once I realize there's a red dot from the lazer sight on my head* :sniper:
DaWoad
22-10-2008, 02:52
The earth is now ruled by an illuminating government that is a lot like the third Reich. This government is the United Earth Directorate (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d1aYkUB3Co) who are waging wars with our exiles brothers who have colonized other planets. However during the fight a strange insectoid race has declared war on mankind which now leaves the milky way galaxy in a three way war between the UED other humans (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPb0BIzjmaw), the insectoid zerg and the advanced protoss civilization. :eek:

*runs from a terran ghost once I realize there's a red dot from the lazer sight on my head* :sniper:

*Goliath Online!"
South Lizasauria
22-10-2008, 02:55
*Goliath Online!"

OH NOES I LEFT MY MARINE SUIT AT HOME :):eek: *runs home in civillian form with ghosts, marines and Dawoad in pursuit* :p
Geniasis
22-10-2008, 03:01
Everyone has a flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the world is ruled by Damn dirty Apes! :eek:

Oh, and that Soylent Green you've been having? It's people FYI
Dumb Ideologies
22-10-2008, 03:16
Not much has changed, but we live under water. And your great-great-great grandaughter is pretty fine. Yeh, she's pretty fine.

No wait, thats the year 3000.

If you've never heard the song I just quoted from, consider yourself lucky.
South Lizasauria
22-10-2008, 03:23
This just in the zerg seemed to have created a zombie virus. Whether such a creation was intentional or otherwise is irrelevant. The dead are now rising from their graves and joining the zerg in their quest for flesh.
King Arthur the Great
22-10-2008, 03:26
Let's see:

We've moved from physically disabled Democratic presidents to mentally impaired Republican presidents.

The Supreme Court chooses the president in 5-4 decisions.

The U.S. Congress has the lowest approval rating and highest job retention rate of any organization with open employment records.

A year after you fell into a coma, the Chicago Cubs got themselves cursed in a major fashion. Since then, they have not won the World Series, and not yet made it back since 1947.

We finally put a Roman Catholic in the White House, but he was shot, and the exact understanding of events is still hotly debated amongst conspiracy theorists.

We're running an African-American presidential candidate with another Roman Catholic for his running mate, as well as a former POW presidential candidate with an (arguably) insane woman as his running mate.

Oh, and you're going to have to choose if you want to eat or take your medication.
Gavin113
22-10-2008, 03:55
[QUOTE=King Arthur the Great;14124441]

A year after you fell into a coma, the Chicago Cubs got themselves cursed in a major fashion. Since then, they have not won the World Series, and not yet made it back since 1947.
QUOTE]


1945:(
Zhengri
22-10-2008, 03:56
The Empire rules after crushing the rebel scum. Guys in white battle armor armed with blasters protect the galactic emperor. The universe bows to his will and the power of the death star. Except for the short fuzzy critters on a small moon called Endor.
Geniasis
22-10-2008, 04:01
Not much has changed, but we live under water. And your great-great-great grandaughter is pretty fine. Yeh, she's pretty fine.

No wait, thats the year 3000.

If you've never heard the song I just quoted from, consider yourself lucky.

One day when I came home at lunchtime,
I heard a funny noise.
Went out to the back yard to find out if it was,
One of those rowdy boys.
Stood there with my neighbor called Peter,
And a Flux Capacitor.
Zhengri
22-10-2008, 04:03
Ok ok, that was fiction. What really happened was a race of strange aliens in armored travelling devices (resembling salt and pepper shakers) came through a hole in time and space to Earth. They slaughtered most of the Humans with chants of "Exterminate!!" The remaining Humans they keep on a starvation diet and use to work their mines. All this while they build an invincible star fleet to destroy all other intelligent species.
Daistallia 2104
22-10-2008, 05:28
Let's see...

Europe's empires are now mostly free and independent countries. They squabble a lot.

We won the war. Germany and Japan are now some of our closeat allies, after we turned them against the Russians.

After the war, we started a newq version of the League of Nations. It works a bit better...

The Communists expanded greatly, controlling large swaths of Eurasia, then collapsed about 20 years ago after what we call the "Cold War". That was rather like the early days of the second great war - what Churchill called the "Phoney War".

A few people now live in space. We've sent people to walk on the moon.

Women can now tak a pill (oddly enough called "the Pill") that prevents pregnancies.

Somebody mentioned TV - you may or may not remember it. It's like radio, with pictures.

The "negro" situation is very different nowadays. Avoid using that word. And really avoid nig**r - it can get you in serious trouble. The same goes for most other other similar words.

And you aren't going to believe the situation for nancy boys....

And popular music has changed alot!

And finally, that ciggy your smoking - it's really, really bad for you. And this is a "no smoking" area...
Callisdrun
22-10-2008, 07:28
This is stupid.

This thinks you're stupid.
Alexandrian Ptolemais
22-10-2008, 09:22
It was a day like any day. I woke up, took my car and *bang* an accident occurred. I felt in a coma and it turned out that I was awake this morning.

What news should I know?
What kind of important things should I know?
What behavior, items or whatever really changed?

And did the Germans lose the war?



Unfortunately, the Germans won the war and now Europe is pretty much dominated by Germany. Winston Churchill was thrown out of office as the tide turned in Germany's favour, and the next Prime Minister sued for peace with Germany; Hitler, in an unusual way decided to allow Britain to keep her Empire intact, except for the ex German colonies. Indeed, the two nations became great allies and defeated the Communist menace in the 1950s, and Britain took back control of the United States in the 1960s. When Hitler died, it was decided that some of his policies were a bit extreme, and so his successor moderated them.
Big Jim P
22-10-2008, 09:30
Unfortunately, the Germans won the war and now Europe is pretty much dominated by Germany. Winston Churchill was thrown out of office as the tide turned in Germany's favour, and the next Prime Minister sued for peace with Germany; Hitler, in an unusual way decided to allow Britain to keep her Empire intact, except for the ex German colonies. Indeed, the two nations became great allies and defeated the Communist menace in the 1950s, and Britain took back control of the United States in the 1960s. When Hitler died, it was decided that some of his policies were a bit extreme, and so his successor moderated them.

[[B]/thread]

Winner!
Kyronea
22-10-2008, 09:43
Nope, the Germans won. This message was sent to you from Reichskommissariat Ohio...things have improved quite a bit since Hitler died back in '67.

Wait a minute, what goddamn timeline are you guys on?

That's funny, cuz I'm living in Confederation of Independent North American States. It's what happened when the old United Socialist States of America collapsed in spite of First Secretary Vonnegut's "Straight Talking" and "Getting It Together" policies.

Well, Charles H. Marx, look at the time. I'm off to catch my train to Debs D.C. It's a real shit hole now, but I might get a job offering there. Enough to feed my family. What timeline are you in?

btw, if you get a chance, pick up Back in the USSA. Awesome alternate history novel

Oh, damn it, I left the Timeline-Smasher on again...

Now how do I turn this thing off...
The Archregimancy
22-10-2008, 10:06
It was a day like any day. I woke up, took my car and *bang* an accident occurred. I felt in a coma and it turned out that I was awake this morning.

What news should I know?
What kind of important things should I know?
What behavior, items or whatever really changed?

And did the Germans lose the war?

Much like the Confederate States of America, the Germans lost the war, and then proceeded to rather nicely during the peace.

The rest of your questions are, alas, irrelevant, as the citizens of the United States of America initiated the End Times in 2000 by electing the Antichrist as President of the United States.

Yes, the sad irony is that rapture-ready evangelical fundamentalists failed to recognise the Antichrist in their midst; but was it not fore-ordained that the Evil One would intentionally set out to corrupt the righteous? That's right... his name was George W. Bush, and voting Republican was the Mark of the Beast.

We are now in the time of tribulation, as foretold by the prophets. The increased violence in the Middle East (which may still be worth reading up on) and the recent collapse of neo-liberal economics only really emphasises the point. This also obviously means that those who were arguing for a pre-tribulation rapture were wrong; no doubt because they mostly already have the Mark of the Beast upon them.

Either way, you're in for a millenium of pain and suffering which will almost certainly damn your soul to an eternity of agonising hellfire, so I'd just suck it up and try and avoid whingeing once things start getting really bad.
Zainzibar Land
22-10-2008, 10:12
Japan rules the US, but we won the war
Th irony is so cruel!
German Nightmare
23-10-2008, 01:26
It was a day like any day. I woke up, took my car and *bang* an accident occurred. I felt in a coma and it turned out that I was awake this morning.

What news should I know?
What kind of important things should I know?
What behavior, items or whatever really changed?

And did the Germans lose the war?
Go back to sleep. There's nothing to see here.

AND DON'T MENTION THE WAR!


http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/MULE.gif
25 years
Hurdegaryp
28-10-2008, 00:37
The content civilians of the People's Republic of Europe have no need to stir up memories from the reactionary past. All hail the People's Republic of Europe!