NationStates Jolt Archive

Hearkening back to a few weeks ago...


If your on the pot and the toilet paper is gone... what do you do?!

If your on the pot and the toilet paper is gone... what do you do?!

If I were Bush? Declare war on North Korea based on them stealing toilet paper from the White House.

I'm a lady. I wait for my knight in shining armour to rescue me.

Seriously, I'm really glad you posted this, since it is an etiquette question that has fascinated me for a long damn time.

Yell for my BF to get some toilet paper in here, and then yell at him for using the last bit up and not replacing the roll.

Seriously, I'm really glad you posted this, since it is an etiquette question that has fascinated me for a long damn time.

Yes, it's one of the unasked questions of the ages.

I have...

1. Used my boxer shorts and thrown them in the bin after
2. Tiptoed to another cubicle holding up my trousers as delicately as I can

This is when away from home, which is also the only time it's truly bothersome.

However, having lived in Asia for a while, I simply always check beforehand now.

The real problem is that if you're not in a hurry, you probably check, it's when you're racing to get there on time that you don't think twice about looking.

Alas, that tends to also be the time when the output is most messy.

what do you think newspapers are for?

Waddle to the cupboard and get another roll out?

I lived in a residential college for a year and grew the habit of checking. Turns out that 18/19 year old males think its good fun to throw toilet paper around when they can't find a ball or something.

I have had to call out though. Or hold it until I get home because there is none.

The other day at work I was told that there was no toilet paper in the womens. Which was great fun considering the bloke that is meant to organise that is offsite.

I check public restrooms for toilet paper before I commit and I'm always stocked at home.

Hearkening back to a few weeks ago...


If your on the pot and the toilet paper is gone... what do you do?!

Shout for the wife or children to bring me more.

A friend was recounting -why? Beer I suppose- a story along these lines to me not so long ago. He was at the airport, I gather, using the toilets before heading out to have a look at Australia, and realised -when it was too late, of course- that there was no paper. He knew someone was in the next cubicle and asked, "Mate, could you spare some toilet paper?" prompting a groan and an, "Ah, shhhit..."

He ended up tearing a poster off the back of the door and making do, but when he went back out to the lounge to meet his mate they over-heard the other guy's friend telling him that he stank of shit, so presumably he decided it'd be okay to just do nothing.

...My god, Thursday is boring the life out of me.

Uhm... just reach into the bag next to the toilet and get out a new roll... Seriously, what do people have against keeping a store of toilet paper in the bathroom?

Uhm... just reach into the bag next to the toilet and get out a new roll... Seriously, what do people have against keeping a store of toilet paper in the bathroom?
Can you please tell me bloody housemate that..
bloody women and their "Toilet paper is stored in the cupboard" crap...

Can you please tell me bloody housemate that..
bloody women and their "Toilet paper is stored in the cupboard" crap...
I keep in in the cupboard... under the bathroom sink, about a foot from the commode. And usually, if I'm having friends over/a party and I think the roll might run out, I put a couple out on top of the radiator (right next to the commode) so no one has to shout "where do you keep it?"

I make sure that when I am down to my last three rolls, I go buy another. This way, no matter HOW SICK I get, there's ALWAYS a roll handy.

As for what to do if there's none at all and you're home... well, come on, there's tissues and at absolute worst, you DO have a sink and soap and water. Geez.

I keep in in the cupboard... under the bathroom sink, about a foot from the commode. And usually, if I'm having friends over/a party and I think the roll might run out, I put a couple out on top of the radiator (right next to the commode) so no one has to shout "where do you keep it?"

I make sure that when I am down to my last three rolls, I go buy another. This way, no matter HOW SICK I get, there's ALWAYS a roll handy.

As for what to do if there's none at all and you're home... well, come on, there's tissues and at absolute worst, you DO have a sink and soap and water. Geez.

Shit! You must be part French to think of a thing like washing your arse. How disgusting, no, wipeing is where its at.:D

Shit! You must be part French to think of a thing like washing your arse. How disgusting, no, wipeing is where its at.:D
You missed the part where I said "at absolute worst", then?

Me, I use the ol' 1000 sheet 1 ply, followed up with moist wipes.

Where is the option of grabbing the box of tissues?

I know a few guys, I went over there and I noticed that they were using make up remover pads (those little round things), till they got some more.

Why they had them in the house was a question I forgot to ask.

Uhm... just reach into the bag next to the toilet and get out a new roll... Seriously, what do people have against keeping a store of toilet paper in the bathroom?

What happens when you run out of that little stash?

And don't sya go to the store, I don't have time for that. It sucks when my roommates gf stays over because I swear she eats the damn thing while she is in there, no joke we had nine rolls friday morning, come monday night they are all gone.

we always seem to have about six billion rolls of loo paper in our bog anyway... just waddle over (carefully) and get another roll

Stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl.
What do you do when you're stranded,
And you don't have a roll?
To prove you're a man,
You must wipe it with your hand,
You're a man.

I'm forgetful so this has happened a few times to me...look for make up remover pads, facewipes etc that are capable of doing the job. Its only happened to me once where I've had no option but to use my hand...but then I washed my hands very thoroughly using soap and water afterwards. Its hardly a big deal in the scheme of things as long as you wash your hands after. No-one wants to shake hands with Mr or Ms shitty-fingers :p

I just have a family member bring me up some more - failing that I waddle into my bedroom and aquire one of my little packs of Pocket Tissues - they still do the job. :)

I always carry a pack of tissues. Also good for removing raindrops from glasses, cleaning up spilled tea, and staying clean while having a cold.

Interestingly, I do remember running out of tissues and using tp instead of them more often than the other way around.

Can you please tell me bloody housemate that..
bloody women and their "Toilet paper is stored in the cupboard" crap...

I'm a woman and I put the toilet paper like that. I also keep the kleenex box stack next to it. ;)

What happens when you run out of that little stash?

And don't sya go to the store, I don't have time for that. It sucks when my roommates gf stays over because I swear she eats the damn thing while she is in there, no joke we had nine rolls friday morning, come monday night they are all gone.

We don't run out because we buy the economy size pack. When there are just a few rolls left, we buy another one. So it's like it never runs out. My husband never says anything and lets me put the economy size one in the cart. We avoid a lot of hassle that way.

But what if the log is on its way but the bathroom is occupied?
That's the real question.

We don't run out because we buy the economy size pack. When there are just a few rolls left, we buy another one. So it's like it never runs out. My husband never says anything and lets me put the economy size one in the cart. We avoid a lot of hassle that way.

Well we might get a 12 pack which I think is the biggest we can get here and that will last for awhile but then t runs out because we don't go to the shops that often or when we do go we have maybe 5 rolls left say "yeah that will last till next week" and then it doesn't or it does but we don't head to the supermarket to do a proper shop for two weeks. It seems you have your husband trained ;)

Hearkening back to a few weeks ago...


If your on the pot and the toilet paper is gone... what do you do?!

Open the door under the sink, and grab another roll of TP. I can reach the TP while still sitting on the toilet, too. If there is no TP under the sink, I use a paper towel from the bathroom roll.

I have my own question though. Don't you people plan? a TP emergency in my apartment is rare, as my roommate and I make sure we have enough (that, and my mom buys the mega packs of TP from the wholesale clubs, and gives me a bunch of rolls every time I stop down there).

(that, and my mom buys the mega packs of TP from the wholesale clubs, and gives me a bunch of rolls every time I stop down there).

Most people's mums when students get cake and biscuits maybe a bit of cash but you get TP. Well actually I could do with getting that myself, we are out at the moment.

Well we might get a 12 pack which I think is the biggest we can get here and that will last for awhile but then t runs out because we don't go to the shops that often or when we do go we have maybe 5 rolls left say "yeah that will last till next week" and then it doesn't or it does but we don't head to the supermarket to do a proper shop for two weeks. It seems you have your husband trained ;)

Yes, quite so. :) At least at the bathroom level.

We get our toilet paper in packs of 30, wherein 30=56 because it's the jumbo roles... got to love the economy packs that are sold. It's the only thing I buy that's Costco sized. Everything else is normal sized.

Yes, quite so. :) At least at the bathroom level.

We get our toilet paper in packs of 30, wherein 30=56 because it's the jumbo roles... got to love the economy packs that are sold. It's the only thing I buy that's Costco sized. Everything else is normal sized.

Damn, that just isn't possible to get that amount in a single packet over here.

Hearkening back to a few weeks ago...
If your on the pot and the toilet paper is gone... what do you do?!

I take two steps & retrieve another roll from the pack.

What happens when you run out of that little stash?

And don't sya go to the store, I don't have time for that. It sucks when my roommates gf stays over because I swear she eats the damn thing while she is in there, no joke we had nine rolls friday morning, come monday night they are all gone.

If i run out, or hit the no-paper problem elsewhere, i switch to paper hankies.

Some women use such inordinate amounts of toiletpaper to cover up in which part of their monthly cycle they are. They seem to think if they use enough all the time, nobody will notice when they use it to wipe off the blood...why they bother, i don't know, cuz it's easy to tell from their level of crankiness, which skyrockets in that particular peroid.
If you think i'm kidding, i'll point you to my RL sister...

Oh, and i always wash my hands after using the toilet.

Easy, I take a shower.:tongue:

Shit happens. Even when you have no loo-roll.

Thats why you need ACME BUM-CLEANING GLOVES.

Just put them on, install two AA batteries, place your hands in the region that needs to be cleaned, and ACME BUM-CLEANING GLOVES will vibrate, gently removing faecal matter by emitting soundwaves and a mini harpoon. When finished, press the remote control, and the gloves will fly out the window, seek out your nearest enemy, and wipe themselves clean on their face.

ACME BUM-CLEANING GLOVES. Cleans your arse while dirtying arsehole acquaintances.

I reach under the cupboard, and grab a new roll.

I live alone. I just make sure that I don't run out. But, in the rare event that it actually happens, my toilet is right next to the shower.

Open the door under the sink, and grab another roll of TP. I can reach the TP while still sitting on the toilet, too. If there is no TP under the sink, I use a paper towel from the bathroom roll.

I have my own question though. Don't you people plan? a TP emergency in my apartment is rare, as my roommate and I make sure we have enough (that, and my mom buys the mega packs of TP from the wholesale clubs, and gives me a bunch of rolls every time I stop down there).

The answer for me is simple... between my budget, and my autism I sometimes forget things like TP.

See.. I usually forget to write a shopping list... when I don't forget to write a list, I forget where I put it or to take it.

It's a long process:
1. Look under the sink for toilet paper. If no paper, go to 2.
2. Are there other people at home? If yes go to 3a, if no go to 3b.
3a. Call out for toilet paper. If there is no toilet paper in the house ask for an increasingly painful list of different kinds of paper. If no paper at all, ask for a normal towel. There's always towels.
3b. Waddle around the house, looking for any paper that I won't miss.

...yes I've overthought this, why do you ask?

Shit! You must be part French to think of a thing like washing your arse. How disgusting, no, wipeing is where its at.:D

Or Indian. My mate from Kolkata still gets his mum telling him to send her his clothes so she can wash them (he can't do it himself? I dunno), because he's in the west (sort of), and she thinks that because we use paper instead of soap, water, and hand*, that everyone -and their clothes- are unclean as a consequence. Of course I still find the idea of wiping my arse with my bare hand pretty unappealing, but evidently it's just what you're brought up with, and to who knows how many hundred million people not putting soap on your arse is similarly disgusting.

So maybe, given that this forum isn't all that nationally specific, it might also be worth asking what happens when you run out of arse-soap :)

*Not that people -hopefully!- don't use soap to wash their hands after the fact, but, to the best of my knowledge, in this context, the hands are as far as the soap goes for most people in the west, eh?

Its only happened to me once where I've had no option but to use my hand...but then I washed my hands very thoroughly using soap and water afterwards.

I daresay I do most sincerely hope that you, and all others, wash their hands thoroughly using water&soap after every visit to the loo, no matter which method of ass-cleansing has been used.



As to the OP: I always check for loo paper before "committing to the act". At home, the TP bag I bought is stored in the bathroom, and for convenience's sake I always put at least one roll on top of the toilet's water tank for easy access should I finish the current roll while seated. (You can also store more than one roll there and built nifty pyramids)

I daresay I do most sincerely hope that you, and all others, wash their hands thoroughly using water&soap after every visit to the loo, no matter which method of ass-cleansing has been used.

Of course, I'm just saying that in this circumstance the cleaning was very thorough

I have the foresight to make sure there's always toilet paper available.