NationStates Jolt Archive


Fireplace poker or killer owl?

Nikkiovakia
08-10-2008, 00:11
I didn't bludgeon my wife with a fireplace poker, I swear, it was the owl...
http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/3398136/
Nanatsu no Tsuki
08-10-2008, 00:18
OMG! Killer owl? Bullshyte! He did it with the poker. :eek2:
Vampire Knight Zero
08-10-2008, 00:22
Ah, owls of doom.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
08-10-2008, 00:30
All birds are evil, so I have no trouble believing his story that an owl killed his wife and left him to take the heat.
That doesn't mean that Peterson is innocent though. He might have planned it with the owls from the start, only to be betrayed by his fickle, feathered finks.
Vampire Knight Zero
08-10-2008, 00:32
^Sez the Penguin.^
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
08-10-2008, 00:36
^Sez the Penguin.^
Why do you think I keep ending up in prison? You can't trust those bastards, as soon as they get to court they sing like, um, some sort of animal known for it's singing. Cats or cockroaches or something.
Hurdegaryp
08-10-2008, 00:37
You will have your revenge yet, H N Fiddlebottoms VIII. Just you wait.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
08-10-2008, 00:38
Why do you think I keep ending up in prison? You can't trust those bastards, as soon as they get to court they sing like, um, some sort of animal known for it's singing. Cats or cockroaches or something.

Perhaps they squeal like... a penguin...
JuNii
08-10-2008, 00:42
one... ONE feather? wouldn't there be more feathers?
Vampire Knight Zero
08-10-2008, 00:44
*Laughs like the Joker*
JuNii
08-10-2008, 01:23
does it merit a reopening?

what if it can be proven that an owl could make scratches that deep...

sure we can laugh now... but they laughed when Fingerprinting was first being used.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
08-10-2008, 01:31
sure we can laugh now... but they laughed when Fingerprinting was first being used.
Maybe you laughed, but I didn't because I'm substantially under 100 years old.
Zombie PotatoHeads
08-10-2008, 01:35
poker? But I hardly know her!

sorry. had to be said.
JuNii
08-10-2008, 01:38
Maybe you laughed, but I didn't because I'm substantially under 100 years old.
Don't give me that. I know it was you who was heckling that poor professor while he gave his demonstration!

poker? But I hardly know her!

sorry. had to be said.
for most people... the fact she's dead would be the popular reason... :eek:
CthulhuFhtagn
08-10-2008, 02:56
does it merit a reopening?

what if it can be proven that an owl could make scratches that deep...

sure we can laugh now... but they laughed when Fingerprinting was first being used.

Owls have giant fucking claws. They could easily kill someone if they wanted. And if the person didn't move.
Nikkiovakia
08-10-2008, 02:58
Owls have giant fucking claws. They could easily kill someone if they wanted. And if the person didn't move.

But who's not going to move while an owl attacked them, unless they were first bludgeoned with a fireplace poker? hmmm...
Hurdegaryp
10-10-2008, 20:19
Owls are quite capable of savagely devouring mice, but you'll need a remarkably large owl to seriously wound an adult human being. These birds are known as symbols of wisdom, not as hunters of mankind.
JuNii
10-10-2008, 20:28
But who's not going to move while an owl attacked them, unless they were first bludgeoned with a fireplace poker? hmmm...

I think the theory is...

Pollard contends that Kathleen Peterson, under the influence of alcohol and medication, was attacked, ran inside the house, down the kitchen corridor to the stairs, fainted, got up and tried to climb the stairs before falling.