NationStates Jolt Archive

Tom Cruise becomes the US president decades from now. What happens while and after he's in office?

Discuss!

Tom Cruise becomes the US president decades from now. What happens while and after he's in office?

Discuss!

Spies.
Murder-predicting children.
Car Racing.
More Spies.
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Sex Addiction.
Homoerotic jet flying.
Still more spies.
Scientology.

The US Senate and Congress are replaced with Thetans.

The south will rise again and, armed with muskets, take on the US army. The final battle will end in a cavalry charge by the president of the New Confederacy and, for some reason, Tom Cruise. Naturally, they will be mowed down by machine guns.
The final scene will be a touching moment where Tom Cruise assists the president in committing seppu-...I've got something mixed up in here, havent I?

Spam gets outlawed?

The south will rise again and, armed with muskets, take on the US army. The final battle will end in a cavalry charge by the president of the New Confederacy and, for some reason, Tom Cruise. Naturally, they will be mowed down by machine guns.
The final scene will be a touching moment where Tom Cruise assists the president in committing seppu-...I've got something mixed up in here, havent I?

No, it will probably end like that, but you forgot that scientology will be made the new state religion and 'religion taxes' will drain almost all of peoples' incomes.

Spam gets outlawed?

Yup, cuz anything and everything I post MUST be spam...wait that defies reason thus it's untrue.

The US Senate and Congress are replaced with Thetans.

No, all the thetans are removed from the House. Henceforth, there is no more bickering and arguing. But only because everyone is so boring.

Thetans make everything more interesting.

The internet gets banned.

Humans are banning from living on Terra. And Sol must pay $200 billion each month to cover its heat and light pollution.

Tom Cruise becomes the US president decades from now. What happens while and after he's in office?

Discuss!
He is discovered hiding in a white house closet with John Travolta and he refuses to come out.

I take to the hills and form the Resistance.

But who will be the VP?

But who will be the VP?

Why Hubbard's Thetans of course!

I will eat a box of Nachos coated in cheese.

Which is probably what you eat every single day while reading your favorite websites.

Which is probably what you eat every single day while reading your favorite websites.

I wish. Nowhere around here sells Nachos. :(

Umm sofa bouncing becomes an olympic sport?

Umm sofa bouncing becomes an olympic sport?

As does breaking Oprah's arms.

everyone gets pie. Tom Cruise likes pie.

everyone gets pie. Tom Cruise likes pie.

Any particular flavour? :)

Xenu-flavoured pie: tyrannically delicious!

Or you could try the fat free substitute - I can't believe it's not Tyrant! :)

Or you could try the fat free substitute - I can't believe it's not Tyrant! :)

56 posts in 1 day???

Erm??
Theocracy called:
United Scientological States of America ??
And they will start with something like cruseride trought the world...
LOL!

56 posts in 1 day???

Shocking, isn't it. And all before dinner. :p

He's thrown out of office after being observed by an undercover journalist cruising the street looking for guys and being caught on film with little Tom in a place he shouldn't be. He claims he was trying to help a man who was injured after falling into a bush, and that while trying to help he accidentally fell on top of the man, who was facing away from him at the time. The media refuse to believe the excuse, and Tom runs out of money trying to sue every media outlet on the entire planet and Earth's new colony on Mars. Out of money and a political has-been, he makes ends meet (!) working as a waiter at a gay restaurant. He still insists that he is straight. He's replaced as President by Jessica Alba.

Anyone taller than 5ft 5in must die, so he can finally be tall?

Erm??
Theocracy called:
United Scientological States of America ??
And they will start with something like cruseride trought the world...
LOL!

LOL Scientology starts WWIII and invades other nations and France ends up sending troops to aid the US underground anon resistance.

Should we start to scream in agony right away, or do I still have time to finish my cup of coffee? It's really nice coffee, you know.

LOL Scientology starts WWIII and invades other nations and France ends up sending troops to aid the US underground anon resistance.

Until of course a couple of months into the Resistance, Anon gets bored and goes back to getting lulz at the expense of a family's personal tragedy as usual.

That would be a good scenario for an anime.

Anon will commit the biggest breech of National Security ever, by hacking into the Presidential E-mail inbox, and the computer system of The White House.

The presidential e-mail account is a Yahoo! one?

The presidential e-mail account is a Yahoo! one?

Do not underestimate Anon.

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/8/8b/AnonymousBecause.jpg

Do not underestimate Anon.

Fun fact: This is actually impossible.

Do not underestimate Anon.

I don't see how that's possible... I don't even know him/her!

If Cruise becomes President, then the US will become a Scientologic Facsist nation or Scientofacsist. The government will of course pretend that the Constitution does not exist.

Throughout the nation, resistance groups form. Most will fail miserably, but a few will survive and fight on, thanks to funding and above-average leadership. Everyone will remember how Bush was never anywhere near as bad a president as Cruise.

Fighting between Cruise's storm troopers and the resistance groups rage on for years, thanks for the resistance groups' ability to blend in with just about any community within the nation's borders. The resistance groups successfully use guerrilla tactics against the storm troopers. Casualties on both sides would be heavy.

Illegal immigrants, seeing how messed up the US has become, move back to their crime-infested nations, lucky that their screwed-up governments aren't as messed up as the Cruise Administration.

Anon can't maintain an attention span long enough to overthrow a Scientological government before they focus on some other family tragedy to make a meme out of. End of story.

Anon can't maintain an attention span long enough to overthrow a Scientological government before they focus on some other family tragedy to make a meme out of. End of story.

Yea....they're kids with ADHD :(

Anon can't maintain an attention span long enough to overthrow a Scientological government before they focus on some other family tragedy to make a meme out of. End of story.
That's why you don't rely on them. You rely on the crazier set for the most part. Convince them that what is really happening is all just one big weird wacky conspiracy and they'll continue fighting to the bitter end. Fight wacky with wacky, Scientology crazies with nonScientology crazies. That's how we defeated the Franco-Lunar Alliance back in 1902.

Yea....they're kids with ADHD :(

Which pretty much means that you can easily distract them with something shiny. If they're the most dedicated resistance fighters the USA has, the situation is pretty much FUBAR.

He gets whacked two days after being elected. Chaos ensues until Suri steps in to rule the nation.