NationStates Jolt Archive

http://judson.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/30/wanted-intelligent-aliens-for-a-research-project/index.html

According to this humans need aliens to study and probe us because humans cannot do it as satisfactorily as they can.

If there is anything living on Mars, it’s going to be weird bacteria or the like, not little green men. Which is a pity. Because what we humans really need is a group of friendly, intelligent aliens to study us, and give us a report on what they find.

The problem is, in many respects it’s difficult for us to study ourselves.

This is what I've been saying all along.
Well, no, that's not true. I've been periodically saying other things like, "Who needs belts when you've got bits of string" or "Where are my pants? No, not the ones I'm wearing, the other ones!"
But the part about aliens, that's definitely up there near the top.

yeah, but just try that excuse when picked up by cops at 3am outside your neighbour's bathroom window holding an buttplug and lube.
"I was trying to probe them, because there's no aliens around!"

It does make sense, if in a humourous way. It's difficult to be subjective about certain human qualities. Psychology, sociology, objective study of culture without preconcieved biases - all could be better done with an outside perspective.

Where are you going to find aliens who are advanced enough to come here and err, do some "probing" of us, but don't want to take Earth for lebensraum?

http://judson.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/30/wanted-intelligent-aliens-for-a-research-project/index.html

According to this humans need aliens to study and probe us because humans cannot do it as satisfactorily as they can.

Man, could you imagine a personn who was probed by an alien looking back on it in their golden years?

"Oh yes, I remember my first probing...I was nervous of course, but the alien was reassuring, loving and caring. Pretty soon, I just opened up my anal sphincter and *moans*"

Well, I don't swing that way, so... :eek:

Well, I don't swing that way, so... :eek:

Oh don't worry, it's like having a prostate exam, or an enema.

Oh don't worry, it's like having a prostate exam, or an enema.

I've never had either. :confused:

I've never had either. :confused:

Oh you will.....you will.... *nods sagely*

Oh you will.....you will.... *nods sagely*

Oh noes! :eek::eek:

6 posts until this one turned disturbing. Wow...

6 posts until this one turned disturbing. Wow...

A new record! :D

I personally love this type of abstract philosophy. I think people really do believe themselves to be more in control than they are. There are studies out there that show women are attracted to men with higher sperm count. How in the world would they be able to tell that? Also, women with chronic illnesses are attracted to men that do not have illnesses.

Very fascinating. I believe there's a lot going on behind the scenes that we don't even recognize or acknowledge.

6 posts until this one turned disturbing. Wow...

Did you not notice the OP??? :confused:

A new record! :D

Where are those golden days when you couldn't even finish reading the opening post of any given thread without unvoluntary retching?

Where are those golden days when you couldn't even finish reading the opening post of any given thread without unvoluntary retching?

Ah the golden days... I still have fond memories of those, my friend.

Those times wrecked havoc upon my teeth, though. All those regurgitated stomach acids aren't healthy your for tooth enamel, after all.

Those times wrecked havoc upon my teeth, though. All those regurgitated stomach acids aren't healthy your for tooth enamel, after all.

Indeed. But then again it was all worth it.

As we used to say: BLUUURGH! BLUUURGH! God, not again... BLUUUUUUUURRGHL!!!

I'll be honest here, I don't think my probing skills are really up to par, not that I've attempted any probing that I can recall. And come to think of it, I'm not sure I'm even willing to probe anyone. So if there are any aliens, they can stand in for me.

As we used to say: BLUUURGH! BLUUURGH! God, not again... BLUUUUUUUURRGHL!!!

Again, those were the days...

????? I can see this ending up in forum 7......

I'll be honest here, I don't think my probing skills are really up to par, not that I've attempted any probing that I can recall. And come to think of it, I'm not sure I'm even willing to probe anyone. So if there are any aliens, they can stand in for me.

Oh, it's just a matter of lots and lots of practice. Start with probing yourself and work your way up.

Thank you for the advice. I will surely keep that in mind next time I feel the need for a good probin.

A new record! :D

*sniff* This is a milestone in my interweb career. I wouldn't have achieved this record without you all and your supp-erm sort of support *sniff*

Ah the golden days... I still have fond memories of those, my friend.
days he said, not showers.

Wrong wrong wrong wrong ... wrong wrong wrong wrong! Wrong!
Methinks Nanatsu No Tsuki 'n moi might know a smidge different.

As we used to say: BLUUURGH! BLUUURGH! God, not again... BLUUUUUUUURRGHL!!!

Have you ever flown a flying saucer? Afterwards sex seems trite.
... or did you mean to say, "Abomination"?
Or even, "2 out of 9 don't seem to mind."?